wondering if someone could please help?

#1 Dec 3rd, 2010, 09:25
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  • angelgirl is offline
#1
hi i was wondering if someone could please help me? i am an american-born and raised in US and fell in love with a guy from india.we are planning to get married.he is here on a visa, but we are thinking of marrying in india.we also want to live there. how would we go about getting married?and what would i need?
#2 Dec 3rd, 2010, 09:30
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#2
Getting married shouldn't be a problem, but there might be some wait involved and some hoops to jump through re permanent residency (I'm assuming he would be settling down here). I'm guessing he's on an H-1 visa. Has he applied for a green card on his own? If not, he could certainly do so after getting married, but there's a 2-year (if my memory serves me right) wait period before he can apply.

Arindam
#3 Dec 3rd, 2010, 10:09
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#3
we are actually planning on moving to india.i know his family is important to him and i want them to be a part of our lives and see their grandkids once we have children later.and i'm unsure about how it would work.are there documents that i would need?would i need a visa or just a paasport?right now we are both in the us but we are trying to figure out a solution for us getting married.here it is like jumping through hoops with all the legal stufff, and i'm not sure how it would work if we marry in india.
#4 Dec 3rd, 2010, 10:15
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#4
Angelgirl,

Getting married is the easy part, settling down somewhere is harder. If both of you want to settle in India, permanently, then you would need some sort of "an Indian green card" (of course, you would need your US passport, if you don't have one already). Unfortunately, I am not sure of the formalities involved. From reading the threads, I know "Nick-H" is settled in India, but he is originally from UK. May be you want to bring this thread to his attention.

Good luck !

Arindam

Edit: If you get married in India, make sure to have it legally registered (i.e., not just marriage according to the Hindu Act, though, I have no idea if he is Hindu or not).
#5 Dec 3rd, 2010, 10:22
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#5
Angelgirl, first, welcome to IM...perhaps you have just discovered Indiamike, & if so, please begin now, use the search box at the top of the main page, & take time to look at the specific forums and threads on visa, passports, etc. as well as the various threads on Americans marryng Indians, especially about the importance of family in the culture and having the family's approval and blessing. Yes, his family is VERY important to him, and to you as well. It would be best for you to visit India before you marry, meet his family, then go to the next step. So start now, have a good look around the forum first, as most all of your questions have already been answered (again and again, in many cases)...if after this you can't find the answer to your specific questions, then ask. Indiamikers are most happy to help but you must do a little searching around and homework on your own! Welcome to you both!
#6 Dec 3rd, 2010, 10:54
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The most common way most inter cultural couples get married is to come here on a tourist visa (If they want to get married here) and get married under The Special Marriage Act (more commonly called Register marriage). Then they apply for an Entry Visa for the foreign spouse. After an Year of Marriage they can apply for PIO.

As suggested you need to really try and understand Indian Culture, family dynamics, local conditions, festivals and a lot more. There are a lot of such couples that have successfully done this.

There are a few blogs written by American/other western women that i would suggest you read. A few that come to mind now is Gorigirl ( www.gorigirl.com/) whiteindianhousewife (www.whiteindianhousewife.com/) and there are more links if you visit these two.

Best wishes.
#7 Dec 3rd, 2010, 11:23
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thank you all for your help.it has really helped me.my boyfriend has told me about some of the culture and traditions and what i don't know i have been researching.the only thing i wasnt sure about was how to go about getting married as i know that there is legal stuff involved but i now have somewhat an idea as to what we should be doing so there won't be any problems.again i really want to thank you for your help.i really appreciate it
#8 Dec 3rd, 2010, 13:57
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#8
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelgirl View Post would i need a visa or just a paasport?
This suggests to me that you have never been to India, right? (Otherwise you would know that you need a visa).

Reality check: Please visit and spend time here before you commit yourself. It is hardly like just moving to another part of the USA.
#9 Dec 3rd, 2010, 19:22
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#9
no i have never been.i have never been outside the us.i do however know it isn't like moving to another part of the us, but i know i can handle it and can adjust.my boyfriend and his family are willing to help me and i know it will take time but he is willing to be patient with me.
#10 Dec 3rd, 2010, 21:29
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#10
.

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelgirl View Post no i have never been.i have never been outside the us.i do however know it isn't like moving to another part of the us, but i know i can handle it and can adjust.my boyfriend and his family are willing to help me and i know it will take time but he is willing to be patient with me.
Like others have mentioned, before marriage, you need to visit India and spend lots of time and check how you like it. It's very important. Getting married is the easy part; getting out of marriage is not that easy. Visit India, first.
#11 Dec 4th, 2010, 02:31
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thank you again for your help and all the advice.i do know getting out of marriage isn't easy, but i am not going to.we both love each other and i am not going to leave him.i know that here in the us there are many divorces and wives leave their husbands and vice versa, but i am not the type of woman to do that.i know that marriages take work, but i also know that no matter what you have to stay with the one you love and cant let things get in the way.i am the type of woman who will stay with him no matter what and will be there every step of the way.
#12 Dec 4th, 2010, 02:38
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I think the old saying about knowing what I know now, about 20 years ago, springs to mind!! But never mind... that's the nature of youth.
What all the above posts say is correct... you should visit India, even if for just a few weeks, to get a feel for what the environment is like.

Finally, it is the rare Indian in the US, who has no idea of what it takes for an American to visit India. How come your BF is not helping you with travel plans?
#13 Dec 4th, 2010, 02:47
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#13
I completely second that, though I'm not sure it's easier the other way around (from India to US), having done that myself. Yeah, the material comforts are all there, but emotional comforts are what I am talking about. Your bf should be actively involved in helping you get adjusted to life in India, and yes, you must visit India first before getting married. I am not discouraging you in any way, but it takes effort. Just this July, I met an (American) woman at Mumbai airport, she was coming back to Seattle for a month's holiday. She now lives in Hyderabad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boston123 View Post I think the old saying about knowing what I know now, about 20 years ago, springs to mind!! But never mind... that's the nature of youth.
What all the above posts say is correct... you should visit India, even if for just a few weeks, to get a feel for what the environment is like.

Finally, it is the rare Indian in the US, who has no idea of what it takes for an American to visit India. How come your BF is not helping you with travel plans?
#14 Dec 4th, 2010, 03:02
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#14

The Quick&Dirty.

Here is the Quick and Dirty.

1. Go to your local city hall. Find the State/County's requirements. for getting married. Alas Vegas stoped waking midnight weddings

2.Do a civil marriage there (Dunno the local rules of the place) Get the marriage certificate, get it validated (or whatever the nearest Indian Consulate wants)

3. Apply for an X visa in the Indian Consulate in the US.

4. Go to india, and get married the traditional way.

5. One year later, apply for a PIO card.

I know of quite a few who went this route, One of my friend's mom flew into the left coast and they got married at the county clerk; and then 4 moths later, they had a propah Saat-phere wedding in India.
#15 Dec 4th, 2010, 03:22
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Angelgirl, I think the key ingredient is the family and especially the fact that (you say) his family is willing to help. It is still MOST important that his family is involved at every step of the way. The culture is such that without their approval and blessing, it could be more difficult, since family means everything to an Indian man. (I speak not from personal experience but from information gathered here and elsewhere over the years.) Not sure getting married in the US would be the best idea if you haven't even met his family yet. I assume they live in India, so the key is to meet them first, develop the proper relationship with them, have their approval, before actually getting married. Nothing is impossible but it will be a lot easier if the family is involved and gives their blessings! I would first plan the trip to India, get the 10 year visa process started, then when you have a better idea of your travel plans, go, meet the family, stay as long as you can, establish that relationship, and take it from there. Best wishes always to both of you!

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