Is this a Scam? Please help!

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#31 Sep 24th, 2013, 14:08
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  • NomadicBoo is offline
#31
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Originally Posted by 4theloveofindia View Post But my main concern is how do I figure out how much I owe this hotel owner? The receipt says 6k was paid, 3k is owed... it's hand written. The hotel owner says now it's 11k. So I'm wondering was the 6k that was supposedly paid, forged by the guy who left?
I can't comment on the rest without being rude but regarding the bill....

Simply pay what is owed (the 3k) and get a reciept for it. You will then have 9k worth of receipts on a hand written 9k bill. Then if he gives you any further trouble go and see the tourist police will receipts in hand and this will soon be taken care of.

Whatever you do, do not lose or handover the reciepts to anyone, not even the police.

NB
"See the World, then see India - because the World is an anti-climax"
#32 Sep 24th, 2013, 14:14
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#32
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Originally Posted by Meta genes View Post So your boyfriend stiffed you and left you high and dry ? Or, is he your fiancÚ given you did the paperwork. How is this a scam ? A lover's tiff ?
Not a lover's tiff. Trust me.. after all the lies... the time he pulled me off the couch and left a huge bruise on my arm.. there was NO love there!

I tried to come to see the Dalai Lama on my own.. so no this guy did not "stiff" me. As a matter of fact he said that if I went on my own, he would "hunt me down and kill me".

I know the "why" questions are going to come. I was stuck in area in Gujarat where I could NOT speak Hindi and no one seemed to speak English.

Why didn't I contact the police since it is a touristy area here? Good question and one I will have to live with. I was told repeatedly if I told the police I would be harmed. Many many arguments did we have and many many times did I leave...only for him to follow me.

I am glad he is gone... I just want my money back (and cell phone which he prob already sold).

Quote:
Originally Posted by jituyadav View Post Of course, but



Another one even after getting all the hints.

What is the guarantee that you will not be fooled again by him, his family or anyone else you may to like to cozy up to avoid the police?

Go to the police, lodge a complaint, get some money from home, pay the balance to the hotel (after lodging the complaint so that the police are in know and it is official).

Then go back home to forget it as a bad experience from which hopefully you have come out wiser.
Trust me learned my lesson! Yes the hints were there, I saw them alll along. And I never should have been in a place where I can't speak the local language. All stupid stuff. I guess that's why girls from Vietnam, India, etc are stuck as sex slaves in the USA.. because they are threatened and told the police will harm them..and can't speak English. I'm not making excuses or even saying what I did was remotely smart.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NomadicBoo View Post I can't comment on the rest without being rude but regarding the bill....

Simply pay what is owed (the 3k) and get a reciept for it. You will then have 9k worth of receipts on a hand written 9k bill. Then if he gives you any further trouble go and see the tourist police will receipts in hand and this will soon be taken care of.

Whatever you do, do not lose or handover the reciepts to anyone, not even the police.

NB
Thank you for your reply! Feel free to be rude, I can handle it. We all make mistakes I suppose, and certainly learned from them.


Take care and thanks again for your advise.
#33 Sep 24th, 2013, 14:23
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#33
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Originally Posted by 4theloveofindia View Post Trust me learned my lesson! Yes the hints were there, I saw them alll along. And I never should have been in a place where I can't speak the local language. All stupid stuff. I guess that's why girls from Vietnam, India, etc are stuck as sex slaves in the USA.. because they are threatened and told the police will harm them..and can't speak English. I'm not making excuses or even saying what I did was remotely smart.
Why are you blaming India...???

first thing is anybody on this earth should have little brain to understand the reality of e-relationship...
#34 Sep 24th, 2013, 14:37
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#34
1. Call up your family to get some money.
2. Call up your credit card bank and inform them of the fraudulent transactions done on the card.
3. Type/Write your complaint and take out two copies. Photocopy person's passport and attach it to your complaint. Go to nearest police station (nearest to your hotel) and tell the cops that you have come to lodge a complaint. Submit one copy and take a "received" sign & stamp on other one. FIR is usually done within 24 to 48 hours, so don't force the cops for immediate FIR, but do ask them when should you come for receiving copy of FIR. Do mention the name of shop/ATM from which money was drawn from your credit card. Provide as much details as possible.
4. Scan and send the above "received" complaint copy to your bank.
5. Inform the parents of person but don't peg your hopes on them.
6. If you intend to continue you stay in India & around Himachal, then do remember to collect copy of FIR as that's the official document and should be sufficient for your bank to believe that fraudulent transactions were done.
#35 Sep 24th, 2013, 14:40
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#35
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Originally Posted by sanuroxz View Post Why are you blaming India...???

first thing is anybody on this earth should have little brain to understand the reality of e-relationship...
Reread my post.. I'm not blaming India. I said that's why girls from countries like.... (enter any country where the main language is not English) are stuck in the USA as sex slaves..because they can't speak the local language and threatened the police won't help them, they will be harmed etc.

I have nothing against India. I am sorry you misread my post. You are absolutely correct. I had an idea that I could come to India, be shown around (instead of being on my own). Never once did I think I would come to India get married and blah blah blah. That was never ever in my thoughts! I was told to stay at his house... I had to get married... his parents would have it no other way.

India is a beautiful place! I've seen so many beautiful things and been to areas where most tourists haven't been (a village in Gujarat, invited by the village leader is one example). Rajasthan in a local hotel is another. I've seen the border show between Pakistan and India, Old Delhi on and on.

I love India and I will be back! This time a lot wiser.

I was complaining about the money lost so much ... I only posted on here because I wanted to know how much money I should pay this hotel owner.



Sorry for the misunderstanding!

Quote:
Originally Posted by munched View Post 1. Call up your family to get some money.
2. Call up your credit card bank and inform them of the fraudulent transactions done on the card.
3. Type/Write your complaint and take out two copies. Photocopy person's passport and attach it to your complaint. Go to nearest police station (nearest to your hotel) and tell the cops that you have come to lodge a complaint. Submit one copy and take a "received" sign & stamp on other one. FIR is usually done within 24 to 48 hours, so don't force the cops for immediate FIR, but do ask them when should you come for receiving copy of FIR. Do mention the name of shop/ATM from which money was drawn from your credit card. Provide as much details as possible.
4. Scan and send the above "received" complaint copy to your bank.
5. Inform the parents of person but don't peg your hopes on them.
6. If you intend to continue you stay in India & around Himachal, then do remember to collect copy of FIR as that's the official document and should be sufficient for your bank to believe that fraudulent transactions were done.
Thanks! That's the info I needed! I'll get right on it now!
#36 Sep 24th, 2013, 14:45
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#36
Might be its misunderstanding...
and i appreciate your spirit..and love for india...

In this whole world wherever you will go must have to be little careful in lot of things...
Take care...
#37 Sep 24th, 2013, 14:53
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#37
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Originally Posted by sanuroxz View Post Might be its misunderstanding...
and i appreciate your spirit..and love for india...

In this whole world wherever you will go must have to be little careful in lot of things...
Take care...
Thanks India is like a country made up of countries. There is so much more I want to see here.

The best moment, is when I stepped up out of the car in Gujarat and all these children stood around me (they'd never seen a white person). The temporary tattoos and pieces of candy put such a smile on their face! I will forever cherish that moment! In the USA many of us don't appreciate what we have!
#38 Sep 24th, 2013, 15:00
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#38
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Originally Posted by 4theloveofindia View Post Not a lover's tiff. Trust me.. after all the lies... the time he pulled me off the couch and left a huge bruise on my arm.. there was NO love there!

I tried to come to see the Dalai Lama on my own.. so no this guy did not "stiff" me. As a matter of fact he said that if I went on my own, he would "hunt me down and kill me".

I was told repeatedly if I told the police I would be harmed. Many many arguments did we have and many many times did I leave...only for him to follow me.

I am glad he is gone... I just want my money back (and cell phone which he prob already.
If all the above is genuine then I'd consider 10,000 rupees and a mobile phone a bargain to get away from this nutcase. It would have cost you a whole lot more had you actually married a complete stranger in a foreign land.

My advice; Pay 3k to the hotel, cut your losses, move on, learn.

NB
#39 Sep 24th, 2013, 15:02
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#39
What's done is done.
Your next plan-of-action is between Jitu's post #29 and munched's post #34.
Good luck.



My 2cents bit - if you're still planning to be in India - please do not make any more 'friends' - with or without the ' '.
and, most important ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by NomadicBoo View Post My advice; Pay 3k to the hotel, cut your losses, move on, learn.


Safe journeys.
:brishti
#40 Sep 24th, 2013, 15:33
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#40
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Never once did I think I would come to India get married and blah blah blah. That was never ever in my thoughts! I was told to stay at his house... I had to get married... his parents would have it no other way.
Does that mean you did marry the guy? I appreciate that you may be in something of a panic, but the narrative is confusing.

The only things that I can think are that you should have no qualms in going to the police. And you should also not worry about this guy's family: If they bought him up to be a thief and a thug that's their fault. I think you should turn the big guns on them! Did you know that, in this country, if a guy promises marriage to persuade a woman to have sex with him it is a crime of cheating in itself and may even be rape. Whether you follow up this angle with the police is up to you, but with the family, I don't expect they want police on their doorstep at all, and certainly not about cheating and rape.

Don't be squeamish in fighting back.
#41 Sep 24th, 2013, 16:09
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#41
The story has a lot of holes.
1. What was your expectations before you came to India? A boyfriend through facebook? With whose family you would be staying for some months? It is an extremely unrealistic situation in India.
2. Why did the family believe you were married? where and when did they believe you got married? Did the family arrange any kind of celebration/function for the "wedding".
3. BTW - a religious wedding does not need paper work.
4. What exactly did your boyfriend tell his family about you? were you complicit in the lies he told?
5. When did the abuse start? As soon as you reached his home or after some time?
6. If he threatened to kill you why did you not escape at the first chance instead of going on a vacation with him? I can understand feeling coerced in a small village where no one speaks english, but you had to pass though a lot of places where a lot of people speak english in order to reach dharamshala from Gujarat village. It was not as if it was a deep long term commited relationship which was difficult to get out of. And, you seemed to be able to communicate with your family in your home country.
7. Sorry - I believe the fraud angle but the abuse angle seems unconvincing. I am sorry. And please donot compare your plight to that of women from third world countries who are trafficked. You were not trafficked. You lost around 1000 dollars in all.

Most likely - this guy was the black sheep of his family and a dependent on his parents. So they transfered the problem to your shoulders hoping you will support him from now on.
My suggestion would be -
1. File a police report.
2. then contact the hotel owner and pay 3000. get a reciept. If he asks for more tell him that you have filed an FIR and the police will explain it to him
3. Contact your credit card company with the police reports.
4. The police is unlikely to do much over a dispute over 58000. Very unlikely that they will harass the guy's family in a different state.
5. In future, do not tolerate guys who blackmail you with harm. It is not an acceptable behavior in any country.
#42 Sep 24th, 2013, 16:17
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#42
I don't understand why you accepted the fact that his family thought you were marrried, or were going to be married. I stayed with my partners family in a different country (not India) where I didn't speak the language, and I can tell you now, if he told me that we 'had to be married, or pretend we were' just so I could stay with his family I'd have RUN A MILE.

There are other ways to see India without accepting this. Although what's done, is now done, maybe next time book with a reputable tour company instead. I don't think you'll get your money back, and to be honest if it was me, I wouldn't care. I'd consider myself lucky to get out of this silly situation that I got into in the first place. Get your parents to pay for a ticket home for you.... pay your hotel bill and leave. Forget the police, what will they do? Consider yourself lucky you are not married to this man, injured, raped etc etc.
#43 Sep 24th, 2013, 17:09
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#43
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Get your parents to pay for a ticket home for you...
I'm not sure if a tourist visa holder is permitted to enter India without having a return ticket in hand.
#44 Sep 24th, 2013, 17:18
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#44
Isn't she already in India?

She wants to get out right? Surely her parents / family can buy her a ticket home and send her the flight info.
#45 Sep 24th, 2013, 17:24
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#45
Agreed, but my query was
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prakaant View Post I'm not sure if a tourist visa holder is permitted to enter India without having a return ticket in hand.
Was she not carrying a return ticket when she entered India?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fing Fang View Post Isn't she already in India?

She wants to get out right? Surely her parents / family can buy her a ticket home and send her the flight info.
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