"Excuse me, can we swap seats?"

I've become skilled at booking train tickets, largely thanks to advice on this forum. The advantages of a lower-side berth make the trip more enjoyable.

Any tips or suggestions on how to deflect the local travelers who try to swap seats with you? I have no problem with accommodating elderly or disabled passengers, but far too often it's an issue of convenience and comfort.

I'm always caught off guard and agree to switch seats, but this presents problems. Usually, I am trading a lower side berth for a top berth. On one trip, the passenger I traded with "so they could sit closer to their family" left at 3 AM, and I was women up by the conductor to return to my seat.

On my trip today, a family talked a British traveler to move to an upper berth, because their whole family has lower seats except their Dadi. I would have folded just as the man did, but I am wondering why the teenage daughter didn't exchange with Dadi.

As a guest in the country, I want to be respectful and do not want any special treatment, but if I book tickets a month in advance, it would be nice to sit in the seat I booked. Any suggestions?

The upper berth is better. I hear you, on a plane I was asked to switch. I ended up next to a drunk who collapsed over me. If I hadn't been so drunk I would have pushed him off..

Counter excuses with excuses, respectfully. "I have a back problem and that's why I always choose the lower berth" will work like a charm.

Well siad BB....especially when they can swap within family members!
For elderly and / or disabled then it will be good to swap.

Hmmm... Two sides to this. You will see the following conversation in multiple threads on IM...

Q... We have booked two berths, but we are not together, what can we do?

A... Ask somebody to swap with you: many people will be happy to accommodate your request.

This flexibility is part of Indian rail travel. But of course, it happens that you may have a specific berth that you really want. You might really really want to sit by a window, or you might be averse to upper-berth acrobatics ...or whatever. You don't have to make or give excuses: just say no. That's acceptable too.

If you find yourself subject to the attentions of one of those organisational bullies who is intent on accommodating his large family contingent at the expense of moving around half the carriage, you might wish you had taken an assertiveness-training course before your trip! Sometimes people can make it very hard for you to say no. How you handle it is up to you.

You say you want to be respectful: be careful that doesn't translate into being walked on. You say you don't want special treatment: don't worry, you won't get any! Especially from the character in my last paragraph, who doesn't give a damn for your race, colour, origin or creed; only that you are where he wants his wife's cousin-brother to be

I don't do much train travel, and I am certainly not one of the site's experts. Damn it, I don't even like it much after the first six hours! But I guess I must have done a trip or two a year over the past decade, and it is only a small number of times I have been asked to move, and once that I got caught up in the big-family-bully thing. However, even then I was OK with the move (although I resented how it was done) and I don't think I have ever been really disadvantaged.

Personally, I would avoid side berths if travelling alone: knee to knee with a stranger and very little space for baggage. For sleeping, the upper of the side berths is, I think, preferable. It is like a little private cave! And you do not get knocked by people moving up and down the aisle

Nice typo Or is this a new private enterprise in which TTEs are now indulging?

Never had this problem on trains but always happens on planes. I always book aisle seat and end up in a middle seat.

Easier said than done when a sad/worried(and very polite) looking woman comes and requests the seat for her sick kid, mother, in laws, husband etc,.

The request I hate the most is from boy friends/girl friends who make up an excuse to be with their partners. So much over flowing love, they can't sit on a plane separately for a few hours!

Oops. Mobile keyboard has its own interpretation of reality. Should read "woken".

It is a ticklish issue. Much more so when you're travelling alone. It would set the tone of the whole journey, hostile or friendly. If the journey is long and you're sensitive to your co-passengers' vibes, you'd be hard-pressed to refuse. These could be the people you depend upon to keep an eye on your things when you go to the loo.

I've never travelled alone in trains before, so luckily I've always been in a position to refuse.

I've still shifted, even when not travelling alone --- but people have shifted for me too.

My god! And I thought I'd had it bad with my organising bully, of which I am sure there thousands.

Here's an old post of mine about arriving for a 38 hour trip to find my lovely inside lower berth had been stolen.

haha I'd be glad of the time apart

Peace and quiet for a while

Beautifully told, Steven
We were WL 1 and 2... Mrs N wangled a VIP quota confirmation, but they only gave it for one ticket. The TTE let me stay on the train (technically, I was committing an offence, not even having RAC ticket) and share the berth.

Ahem... Yes, I suppose I might have welcomed it if we we were young. Or both sylphs. Really it was impossible.

Some TTEs are really good, and really earn their pay ...and tips. And he did get me a berth after two or three hours.

Say that you have a week bladder.

Good heavens, I'd think you'd have no claim at all to special consideration if you can hold it for a week!

A lot of Nickisms here (and not just by Nick) & I missed it at first.

Must read more carefully..