Is India a suitable place for escaping from... yourself?

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#1 May 22nd, 2008, 16:43
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  • samantha is offline
#1
Hello there

I'm sure there's no need to say how much I appreciate the information that I can find on this website. It's absolutely fantastic Thanks for every single word, guys. All posts are very interesting and useful

I want to tell a little bit about myself and also I'd love to get your opinion on something or maybe just an advice... I really hope you can help me, because I just can't make a right decision

I've always wanted to go to India and I was going to do it with my boyfriend. But we broke up a short while ago and now the only way for me to go there is to go on my own. I'm so depressed at the moment, because I lost him, also I've no idea what I want to do with my life. Running away seems to be a right thing to do. But I'm afraid that it won't work out for me and I'll end up even more confused.

I'd love to go to India for about 3 months, take yoga classes, go for massages. I think it would be good for me, because I have lots of problem with my back, feet and my mental health. But I can only afford spending about 2000 euros over there. Hopefully that will be enough, even though I'm not sure.

So do you think India is a place where you can calm down, forget your problems, think about yourlife and figure out what you want to do? I'm asking this because many people say that they wouldn't go there on their own, especially if they were a young female like me. So I'm really confused now...
I was thinking about going to Kerala in November or December this year, but I'm not sure about this yet. I just don't know what to do All I know is that I want to get away from here and change my life completely.
#2 May 22nd, 2008, 17:15
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#2
India will change your life completely .It did mine .Manu people go to escape ,however it is really what you make of it .The meditation and yoga sound a good idea to get you balanced before plunging into the fray
#3 May 22nd, 2008, 17:27
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  • vandy is offline
#3

Newbie

Hi Samantha,Welcome to India Mike.

Sorry to hear about your breakup.Hopefully time will help heal.

There are many women who travel alone to India and have had a
Wonderfull,Hassell free trip(as far as being accosted)There can
be Travelling frustrations the same as travelling to any other
Foreign Land.

I am a Big Fan of Kerala and can Highly Reccomend the place.

There's some very Helpful Information in the Forums section on this site,from India for Beginners & Travel Partners,Hotel Reviews,All sorts of stuff.Feel free to ask as many questions as you like No-Matter how dumb you think they may seem.

All the Best

vandy
#4 May 22nd, 2008, 17:34
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#4
Hey Samantha,

Welcome to the IM.. Hey, you're from such a beautiful part of the World yourself, Galway. Sorry to hear things haven't gone right in your personal life.

India is a fantastic place to get away to.. Though it may not be quiet place that you may be after. It's full of buzz, smiling people, and colour. Kerala is an ideal state for massage, yoga and meditation.
Idle mind is a Devil's workshop.
#5 May 22nd, 2008, 17:37
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#5
Stay Home - until you've returned to your usual state of mind. It's never a good idea to plunge yourself into a potentially confronting culture when you're in a confused and unstable state of mind as the result of an 'emotional shock!'
#6 May 22nd, 2008, 17:51
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#6
Quote:
Originally Posted by maryb View Post India will change your life completely .It did mine .Manu people go to escape ,however it is really what you make of it .The meditation and yoga sound a good idea to get you balanced before plunging into the fray
Well I'm hoping the same to happen to me. I can see that you lived in India for a few years. You must have had a great experience
#7 May 22nd, 2008, 17:53
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#7
Quote:
Originally Posted by samantha View Post I really hope you can help me, because I just can't make a right decision
Hi Samantha, and welcome from another Indiamike newbie. I really hope we can give you some useful advice too, but so many parameters make it very difficult. I think that it takes knowing you well to do that, but I do have one or two comments you just might be able to use.[/QUOTE]

Quote:
Originally Posted by samantha View Post I've always wanted to go to India and I was going to do it with my boyfriend. But we broke up a short while ago and now the only way for me to go there is to go on my own. I'm so depressed at the moment, because I lost him, also I've no idea what I want to do with my life. Running away seems to be a right thing to do. But I'm afraid that it won't work out for me and I'll end up even more confused.
*looks around for new batteries for her alarm bells as the old ones suddenly went flat*.

Samantha, you can never run away from yourself. As we say in Danish, 'the leprechaun will always move with you'. So you meant to go to India with your former boyfriend. Well, I'm sure you will go one day, but why do it now? Won't you keep imagining he were with you, wishing he were there to share your experiences? Won't those thoughts stop you from enjoying your trip? Furthermore, In my experience it takes mental strength to be a first time - or even 2nd and 3rd time traveller to India. Also, I certainly won't advice you against going because of your gender. Lots of women have done it before you, but I do believe that (western) women travelling solo in India need their mental strength even more than ditto (western) men. But hang on, you say November or December - that's a long way off. Why make the decision now? You have a few months to regain your strength. Why not do something good for yourself in the meantime, like go for long walks around Galway, do strengthening exercises for your back, watch beautiful sunsets over the Atlantic while you dream of India, write your sorrow out in documents meant for yourself only and visit a beauty parlour and have a facial while you save up for a longer trip later on? Travelling is very likely to help you make decisions regarding your life, but I believe you have to pick the right time, and what you wrote just made me wonder if this is the right time for you. India will certainly hold enough distractions, but the question is, will these work to your advantage at this point?

Quote:
Originally Posted by samantha View Post So do you think India is a place where you can calm down, forget your problems, think about yourlife and figure out what you want to do?
In short? no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by samantha View Post All I know is that I want to get away from here and change my life completely.
Then that is what you should work towards, but carefully, cool, calm and composed. You're hurting now, but acting out of desperation is not a good idea. The consequences could be negative. (don't I just sound like some 'horrorscope' in a daily paper?)

Best wishes.
No matter what you say about India the opposite is true too. Rudyard Kipling (I believe)
#8 May 22nd, 2008, 17:55
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#8
Quote:
Originally Posted by vandy View Post Hi Samantha,Welcome to India Mike.

Sorry to hear about your breakup.Hopefully time will help heal.

There are many women who travel alone to India and have had a
Wonderfull,Hassell free trip(as far as being accosted)There can
be Travelling frustrations the same as travelling to any other
Foreign Land.

I am a Big Fan of Kerala and can Highly Reccomend the place.

There's some very Helpful Information in the Forums section on this site,from India for Beginners & Travel Partners,Hotel Reviews,All sorts of stuff.Feel free to ask as many questions as you like No-Matter how dumb you think they may seem.

All the Best

vandy
Vandy, thanks a million for your post. I'm hoping to have less dumb questions after reading everything carefully on this website But I'm sure I will still have some, so you will definitely hear from me

Thanks again for a lovely post and your support
#9 May 22nd, 2008, 18:14
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#9
<cross-posted>

Hi Samantha,

It's impossible to judge someone from afar of course. India does wonderful things to many people (or is just a great holiday destination to many more, and it is), and then it makes others just freak out. I guess it's for you to find out -- if at all.

Your budget: At around 1500 Rupees a day, I think you could travel around very comfortably on that, nothing to worry about in that respect.

First time I went there (for around your period, originally meant to be longer btw), I was young and sort of escaping from myself and my troubles back home, like I suppose many do. It didn't do me any harm I think. Peace and quiet are usually very hard to come by in India indeed; however maybe I found another kind of introspection in being alone amidst the crowds and frenzied action. Barely speaking to anyone for a week sometimes (simply because of language barriers) and merely being an observer I found refreshing; if that sounds very hard, the more well-trodden path in India is never far away, where one can meet fellow travelers, speak to locals more easily, etc. On that note, to travel alone there requires something of a conscious effort, more often than not you'll find yourself hooking up with like-minded souls for at least part of the way.

(It's also always -- or usually in any case -- and simply just plain nice and refreshing to be on a holiday anywhere btw. So did India "change" me? Well, no, no more than anything else I do I guess. And no less, either.)

What must certainly have been very helpful to me was I had some friends (all young women, btw) who knew the place very well and so chatting to them no end before leaving was a good preparation. And then as your plans materialize I found people who've been there before to talk to and ask questions to tend to pop up like mushrooms anyway. Maybe not so in Galway, I wouldn't know.

Well, just follow your heart I'd say. "Running away from" I find always subjective, and it implies running towards something too, doesn't it. As a friend once told me about how to make a horse jump over the fence: Throw your heart over, and the horse will follow. (Where you want it to jump to is up to you, of course )

ps To balance this perspective: Someone I vaguely know some time ago left on a short and simple holiday to the Mediterranean like he always did, but being seriously overworked and so on. Broke down completely there, had to be picked up by others even I believe, and came back a complete wreck. Yes, it happens.
#10 May 22nd, 2008, 18:18
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#10
I agree. With almost everything!

India can be all things, and if you want a calm and peaceful tropical haven to soothe your soul and body, you can certainly find it here --- but at the higher end of the budget range. You can probably find this closer to home, with the consequently reduced air fair leaving you free to spend on other stuff.

Otherwise, I'd say that India gives you too much to think about to concentrate on yourself: might be good.

Unless you're going to travel with one of those in-head conversation-with-the-ex-who-isn't-here soundtracks --- which could be very bad indeed. If you are prone to that, then going somewhere that you and he never thought about together would make sense.

India is not really a comfortable country. Even if you travel by AC car from one five-star hotel to another, you will experience bad roads. You can go to 10% of the accommodation budget, and still be clean and have all you need --- but you'll probably find rock-hard mattresses, because that is normal here!

Of course, there will be plenty of men here only too willing to take your mind off things. Good thing or bad thing; that's your decision! In fact, I can confidently predict that, once your new-member qualifying time is up, and the PM (private message) system is open to you, that you will get a few even before you go. I guess that's life, for the single woman on the internet.
~
Life gets aadhar every day.
.
#11 May 22nd, 2008, 18:28
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#11
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Londoner View Post Hey Samantha,

Welcome to the IM.. Hey, you're from such a beautiful part of the World yourself, Galway. Sorry to hear things haven't gone right in your personal life.

India is a fantastic place to get away to.. Though it may not be quiet place that you may be after. It's full of buzz, smiling people, and colour. Kerala is an ideal state for massage, yoga and meditation.
Galway is a lovely place, but I need sun, fruits, vegetables, and colours. I'm fed up with rain, fish and chips, plastic tomatoes, even though I love Ireland very much. An I really like the way you describe India!

Thanks
#12 May 22nd, 2008, 18:32
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#12
Quote:
Originally Posted by obione980 View Post Stay Home - until you've returned to your usual state of mind. It's never a good idea to plunge yourself into a potentially confronting culture when you're in a confused and unstable state of mind as the result of an 'emotional shock!'

I believe I will be much better by the time I'm planning to go. Even now I'm not that bad, but I'm just desperate to have some kind of exciting plan that I could stick with. I need to wake up every morning thinking about what I'm going to do in the future, otherwise a depression is guaranteed.
But I know what you mean and thanks for that
#13 May 22nd, 2008, 18:36
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#13
Quote:
I have lots of problem with my back, feet and my mental health.
Samantha - The above does not augur well for time, without close support (emotional and otherwise) from a friend. Truly - I don't think you're ready for India just now. Build your confidence up again - read up on India - here and elsewhere - then GO! And enjoy and benefit from the experience.

Best Wishes!
#14 May 22nd, 2008, 18:45
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#14
Quote:
Then that is what you should work towards, but carefully, cool, calm and composed. You're hurting now, but acting out of desperation is not a good idea. The consequences could be negative. (don't I just sound like some 'horrorscope' in a daily paper?)

Best wishes.
Hi Danmark,
har du det godt?

First of all let me say that I absolutely adore Denmark. I went to school there 3 years ago and loved Danish culture. Also thank you very much for a long reply to my post
I agree with everything what you're saying. I'm trying to do everything that you are talking about and that helps a lot. And the reason why I'm not going anywhere now (except the fact that I went to Copenhagen for a weekend a few weeks ago with the same aim - to run away ) is that I want to take things easy and not to rus anywhere. But I need a plan! I'm just desperate to have a plan and to be looking forward to something exciting even though I know that "the plan" might change completely in a few months.
I've no hopes to get back with my boyfriend, so I'm not really afraid that I'll be thinking about him when I'm in India. I would pick another country, no problem, but I've read a lot about India and I was so excited to go there! So I really want to do it and I want the all challenges that you're talking about I just want to prove myself that I'm capable to do this and to have a great time

Thanks a lot :*
#15 May 22nd, 2008, 19:14
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  • brishti is offline
#15
hey samantha,
heartbreaks are a paininthea$$ - the good news is - that too shall pass

since you're planning to come at the end of the year - begin planning now!
get into IM and dig ye deeep - and ye shall receive all the answers/instructions/do's/dont's/wherefore/whereof/whereto/therefore -
nothing like planning a trip to take your mind off anything!

IM is a great place to be [ ahem! ]
till november - enjoy yourself here - and plot your itinerary - whether you travel or not, aint the issue.
looking forward - aaah - nuthin quite beats that!

see you here again and again and again



:brishti
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