Why are expat Indians so frustrated with India?

Closed Thread
#16 Feb 28th, 2005, 14:05
Join Date:
Dec 2003
Location:
India !
Posts:
2,219
  • beach is offline
#16
Frustrated? Who? Me? NO!

India frustrates. That is how India is. But that doesn’t mean that you need to GET frustrated.

Regarding the NRIs experience, it’s the expectation Vs experience gap. India never behaves the way they expect (it has never).

NRIs tries to look at India from a superiority (right or wrong) point of view, that they have ‘seen’ many things and ‘know’ many things that ‘Indians’ don’t understand.

Also they expect some ‘extra’ respect, status etc at home. This is legitimate to some extend but may not always complied by the society.

Then there are the fashionable NRIs. They think it would improve their face value as an NRI if they start criticizing India. The ‘system’ is their favorite subject.

It’s a paradox. As a country India is proud of its people living outside the country. It has a high esteem for the PIOs (Person Of India Origin) & the NRIs. That they are the ambassadors of Indian culture to other nations.

But when it comes the individual Indian to Non Resident Indian dealing in India, there is some teething problem. It’s not exactly as welcoming as coming to home after a long period.

When in India do as Resident Indians do, when else where do as Non Resident Indians do….I think then the frustration is kept at the minimum.
#17 Feb 28th, 2005, 14:46
Join Date:
Feb 2005
Location:
South East Asia
Posts:
23
  • minime is offline
#17
I have not seen many Indians(of the non-resident variety) who criticise India because they feel superior - they do so because they do not merely see what is but also see "what can be". (not because they are superior but simply because they have seen what else is possible)

Zingoism is the biggest obstacle to progress for any developing nation, India is no exception. To bring in the new, one has to discard the old .....but the vested interests (who benefit from keeping things the way they are) whip up passions to obscure and divert attention from pressing issues.
#18 Feb 28th, 2005, 14:59
Join Date:
Oct 2004
Location:
Delhi
Posts:
1,241
Send a message via Yahoo to phantom
  • phantom is offline
#18
To Quote a certain Mr. JFK
"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country"

Cheers beach.. I wish I could put it in the same words as you did .
#19 Feb 28th, 2005, 15:34
Join Date:
Jun 2004
Location:
TO
Posts:
146
  • Theon is offline
#19
Wow, it's interesting that this topic has come up since I (being somewhat of a 4th-6th generation NRI) just spent a couple hours in my hotel in Varanasi writing about what frustrates me about India (Varanasi in particular). When my thoughts are more clear, I'll be sure to post them here!

Beach, I am neither an NRI who demands extra respect or a "fashionable" critic of India, and I think you are overgeneralizing. I also tend to agree with Minime that my ancestry makes me somewhat more "interested" in the "progression" of Indian people.
#20 Feb 28th, 2005, 17:11
Join Date:
Sep 2004
Location:
Bangalore
Posts:
3,072
  • Digital Drifter is offline
#20

I could say something here

but RK Narayan covered this sometime back, a decade ago I think. Even though the link says anon, I'm certain it's RK Narayan.

http://www.garamchai.com/XPlusOne.htm

read it, it's funny, sad and shows abjectly why NRIs /never/ seem to get the picture.

Working in the IT industry, meeting people who are my contempraries, I'm still surprised by the naivete and anger after spending just 2-5 years abroad. Traffic, noise, essentials, time, punctuality are their biggest whines. what did they expect?

I think it's that middle class mentality that equates

I'm successful=world revolves around me

which as you'd guess, the world gives a rat's ass. Why the sudden sense of entitlement, I don't know but I can hazard a guess. Whenever I come back after working for sometime abroad, my relatives seem to think I'm wiser & smarter(which I'm not). My opinion(generally bulls**t) is suddenly 'valued'. & I'm thinking 'whoa, hold on there, that was just a stupid idea'. The level of boosting you get from friends and relatives is too much of a rush and you have idiots spouting nonsense about how they'd like things to be. Snarkily, I'd want to say 'you saved $60K after working your ass out there and while that is real huge amount here, you're still the same idiot I knew in school'

Get real, it's not going to be happen.

The lights still go off, I still have to go fetch drinking water, I still have to bargain with the veg./fruit hawkers and I still get ripped off, if I don't watch it.

Beach is right, few people have an idea of the scale of things in our country.
#21 Feb 28th, 2005, 17:44
Join Date:
Jan 2002
Location:
Middle East <---->India
Posts:
384
  • pooch is offline
#21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theon Beach, I am neither an NRI who demands extra respect or a "fashionable" critic of India, and I think you are overgeneralizing. I also tend to agree with Minime that my ancestry makes me somewhat more "interested" in the "progression" of Indian people.
I think the above applies to almost all NRIs. I knew someone who worked at check in for an airline and he was of the opinion NRIs from north america (mainly Canada) were most demanding and fussy while the ones from UK most compromising, I'm not stating it's true though but it's from someone who probably deals with a good number of them any given day.

and "licking on the road" ?? what's that
#22 Feb 28th, 2005, 18:05
Join Date:
Sep 2004
Location:
Bangalore
Posts:
3,072
  • Digital Drifter is offline
#22
Quote:
Originally Posted by pooch and "licking on the road" ?? what's that
pretty sure, he meant 'spitting' but that sounds rather lame.... :-)
#23 Feb 28th, 2005, 19:03
Join Date:
Dec 2003
Location:
India !
Posts:
2,219
  • beach is offline
#23
No! I’m not generalizing or overgeneralizing (what is that)

I have any number of relatives and friends who are NRIs or somewhat NRIs. My experiences are from them. Also I’m not telling that all are in the grumbling category. Surprisingly some of my NRI friends are dirtier than me in other words the ones who tolerate nonsense.

There is a big difference between Bollywood and Bombay. Something like what an NRI (not general) expect out of India and what India comes out to be for him or her.

Then there are people who take pride in saying that their children can speak only broken Hindi or whatever mother tongue. Meaning they climbed to the higher notches of NRIship. (To prove how more NRIs they are than the neighbor NRIs). I don’t think anything bad or wrong with it. Just a kind of vanity expressions people use when talking with a group of friends’ relatives etc.

Then there are NRIs. Who sincerely feel great about India. That they feel bad when encountering with the problems in/of India. They don’t have any thing to prove. Prove what ? to whom?

Also there are NRIs who behave as if they are ‘American’. They compare things with east coast and west coast! I learned the east coast – west coast comparison from my US colleagues. For many of then the world starts at east coast and ends at west coast. I don’t mind.

But when my NRI friends started to telling me in west coast it would have done like this or in east coast it would have been cheaper…..I go mad on them. This fellow bloody well knows how to compare these things with Mumbai or Bangalore. It’s this batch that usually grumbles (of pollution, traffic & corruption).

To make the records straight, there are the resident Indians too who fit in all these categories. Why to point fingers at NRIs alone??
#24 Feb 28th, 2005, 21:08
Join Date:
Dec 2003
Location:
Delhi
Posts:
467
  • soulfood is offline
#24

Cool The lifecycle of an NRI

Wow....has this thread caught people's imagination or what! Beach, you could well script a movie on NRIs and Digital Drifter should get to direct it!! He's really clued in to the psychology of it. Really guys....uncanny observations from both of you! Here's my take on all this, a la those MasterCard ads.

Doing MS at Stanford $ _________
Your first suit for a job interview $ _______
Your first car $ ________
Moving into a better neighborhood $ ______
Finally, buying a house $ __________
Your first flight home in years $ ________

Having to bribe a custom offical to carry your legit laptop, getting your car break down on way home when you haven't yet finished cursing 'the system' and fetching drinking water from the hand pump at home the next morning -- PRICELESS!

There are some things a life in States can buy. But to have false pride come crashing down inside you when everyone else looks up to you in your home country...

...you have to be an NRI.
#25 Feb 28th, 2005, 21:37
Join Date:
Feb 2005
Location:
South East Asia
Posts:
23
  • minime is offline
#25
Why does this thread so badly reminds me of some stories from the Aesop's Fables.....particularly the one about grapes.....now, being an NRI of course I am not clued into any culture or tradition...so I can never clearly remember that one...must learn to write "tell" when I mean "say"...its getting late at night!

Good night guys...
#26 Feb 28th, 2005, 21:48
Join Date:
Dec 2003
Location:
India !
Posts:
2,219
  • beach is offline
#26

Talking

(That version of the fox-grape story is slightly out dated minime. Now a days foxes just walk into supermarkets and buy the kinds grapes they want .
But jumping for it is not a bad idea as it keep the foxes trim and fit )

Goodnight
#27 Feb 28th, 2005, 22:30
Join Date:
Jan 2005
Location:
Desi in USA
Posts:
51
  • Idli is offline
#27
Quote:
Originally Posted by phantom Oh !! so you are very committed guy.. and you also visit your 'village' every year.. how sweet
Since you are so committed and are a KOHINOOR .. in your own words.. you must have done a lot for your village. .. i guess everybody in ur village must be proud of you.. for opening up a school and hospital there.. and all your charitable work done over the period of time.. I can see that happening
Yes ppl are frustrated in india.. but they have not lost hope.. except some ESCAPISTS.... Yes there are problems in india .. but ppl think of how to remove them.. and are doing their bit, they don't run away to some developed country. Do you think UK OR US are like that developed from the beginning of time.. every nation has its cycles of ups and downs. We were up then we went down and now we are coming up again. But YOU probably won't understand.. the only thing that you know is negative criticism.. !! If you are that concerned abt India.. why not open a school here or an orphanage .. I am sure with your kinda developed world "SALARY" you can afford that..... and then we'll talk abt the problems of india. But till that time jes concentrate on your work.. and ..keep your head bowed with shame.
BTW, WELCOME to india
All I am trying to say is that there are different kinds of NRIs from those who bitch about India all the time to those who want to help. It is unfair to dub everybody escapists (run away to some developed country). I have heard of lots of instances of NRIs doing good work in India including opening schools in villages (See Thomas Friedman's documentary - Other side of outsourcing).

I don't like to boast about myself, But I have to do this to prove my point.

FYI phantom, If this is what matters to you - I have visited my village (Parents live in a city) every single time I came back (more than once on certain occasion). I have set up a scholarship fund for village kids who have to relocate to a distant town to go to college. I believe that education can help India solve some of the problems. I am right now planning on my next project for the village - first step of which is water conservation. I want to move back to India to take this to next step. Of course I don't have money for all this. Help I have received from resident Indians that I have approached - Big Zero. I don't mean to say all resident Indians are same.
#28 Feb 28th, 2005, 22:36
Join Date:
Feb 2005
Location:
Bahrain
Posts:
3
  • jd8 is offline
#28
Well, the problem lies at the root when you start comparing. And after that comes the complaining right? Why come to a'third world' country(in their eyes) when you know what to expect? Enjoy the place while you can coz when you go back your gonna kick yourself in the nuts coz people treat you like shit in foreign countries.
I live in a foreign country but I'm fortunate enough to have friendly people here and I cherish every minute when I'm in India. That's the reason I'm there every 6 months.
NRIs have to change their attitude and stop comparing things coz if they did.............Lucifer would be in heaven and we would be praying to him.
#29 Feb 28th, 2005, 22:40
Join Date:
Feb 2005
Location:
northern ireland
Posts:
10
  • irishman3616 is offline
#29

friendly people

im white live in ireland (belfast)and what happens to indians and others is they come to europe and usa and become contaminated with western ideas and become like the rest of us only looking after number one and get as much as you can ,when i go to india the people are so friendly and i dont know if the right word is humble but im sure like me it makes you think about your own lives .slainte(cheers) to all indian everywhere.
#30 Feb 28th, 2005, 22:51
Join Date:
Sep 2004
Location:
Hollywood/Bangalore/Kochi
Posts:
5,046
  • crvlvr is offline
#30
I think NRI's typically go to India with an agenda -- things that need to be accomplished while they are there. Buy property, paint a house, access bank accounts etc. etc. Its attempting these kinds of activities where the indian "system" cripples you. Ofcourse, after staying in the west, one may have higher expectation, or realizes how things could be, hence the frustration.

Sitting on a beach in Goa, or some other relaxed tourist activity typically would not result in frustration.
Closed Thread

Similar Threads

Title, Username, & Date Last Post Replies Views Forum
Mumbai: expat population? Dec 17th, 2009 01:47 11 14974 Moving to Mumbai
Why are non-resident Indians so much in love with India? Mar 7th, 2005 07:03 4 2791 India Expat Area
Frustrated with India's bookshops!!! Nov 20th, 2003 13:52 7 2747 Books, Music, and Movies


Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Forum Rules»
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2
© IndiaMike.com 2018
Page Load Success