Issue with an Indian lady couchsurfer who wishes to issue a complaint against me

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#1 Mar 24th, 2014, 06:20
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#1
Dear all,

Last day of my Indian journey an Indian young rich (or so it seems) woman lady couchsurfer asked me to bring to a friend of her a blanket (of no value...or quite...industrial blanket) in the country I am living too.

As being nice I agreed (and let by her place things I would be missing and of value to more than 60 euros).

She did give 10 euros (a huge amount!) so i could give the parcel.

Then she began by mail to be ordering as if i was a delivery company as DHL and instead of being grateful she did complain that the parcel did not reach, that already 2 weeks did pass (only one week I came back from India...), she ordered that I would go and take train to deliver the parcel (I am working 40 hours a week and have family), she did accuse me of theft and extorsion (the blanket is not silver and what I bought in India is of much more value and even so not costly).
Then the friend appears to be an ex militar wishing also to issue a complaint (and i just came back, how could they instead of being grateful be as such).

I really deeply regret that I did wish generously to help and this is the first Indian person which is such.

The problem is that I got upset and did answer to her by mails.
She told me she did a file and would do a complaint in Delhi police station.

I love India and I am really concerned now about that, because if so, how would I go back to India? And she has plenty of money, means she can do everything.

She is really a very very bad lady.

I have so many friends in India but this kind of person, never in my life.

She also threaten that what she gave will reach in same state she gave it, and all lies under her will seems to be.

She also have things of me at her place but for that she does not care.

I was upset so did say things on her phone and she told she did record it.

Then she does not work, only thing she does is sitting all the day in front of her TV, and it seems she has plenty of time to do such things...

How to stop her?

I asked someone i know who would go to Delhi to handle the parcel to her back.

Should this lady sign a written receipt that she did receive the parcel in good state? And that upon that she shall not issue any complaint?

I do not trust her at all, she lied over too many things and I shall really protect myself.

What to do?

All this for an unvaluable blanket...where the things i left are up to quite 100euros, where i offered her things.

She is really a very bad example of can India be in the worst and hopefully I know too many good people in India.

But I am really worried of what she could do and stop me to go to India.

And I do not trust at all, and even i would give the parcel, I believe she would do everything to be bad.

Really need help in this matter.

She also threatened that if she would not get the thing very soon, she would issue a complaint (she is contradictory because she says she would do a complaint and then that maybe not).

"So if either Mr H or I do not receive the package and card in a reasonable enough time in the condition it was handed over to u in My residence in New Delhi ... I will be forced to file a complaint wit my local police station ..

Also I intend to attach all ur mails to me and all our Facebook conversations and recording of ur telephonic conversations to me this evening at 6.46 pm Indian local time a call that lasted one minute and the second call at 7.06 pm Indian time that lasted 2 minutes

I will then send a copy of the complaint to Mr H and request him to file a similar complaint based on my complaint wit the Delhi police to the local police at the place of ur domicile ...
So M at this point I suggest plan on how to get the package back to my or Mr H's safe custody

This is big lesson to me: never give help as such!!!!

All my gratitude in this absurd matter, where an Indian lady does treat a foreigner lady as if she was a domestic, an untouchable woman under her orders because she is a rich woman and she thinks that gives her all rights and powers to misbehave.

For the rest and I do not judge, no puja at her place, she does eat meat and she is Hindu...

but i do not see any place of God in her heart

she has no respect over the fact people do have work and family

people shall only be her servants or slaves...

and I am not going to bow over such a lady...

but i do not want either any complaint and i wish to go back to India

how this lady could get the lesson?

i think she does not believe in karma and she is not spiritual or at least she has no heart as such.

Really a pity this...really...

thanks for help and for telling me as soon as possible what i do risk

and what do do

thanks

and i am really sad because was such happy of all my wonderful journey in India and a single lady like that just because she believes she has a kind of power does so.

How to make her behave?

thanks

I am really sad and upset...

she is really not same as all the wonderful Indian women friends I have...and where so much love

how to protect myself from this lady? and as to coming back to India?

many thanks

and sorry for the pity of the subject...

Uma
#2 Mar 24th, 2014, 07:09
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#2
Relax! She can't do anything. No policeman will file a case over such a trivial matter and where evidence is non-existent. And don't worry about her wealth and "power." Powerful people don't sit in front of the TV all day ordering servants around. She can write letters and email endlessly, but unless she gets off her ass, nothing will get done on its own here. And she doesn't sound like the type to get off her ass. Just avoid her.
#3 Mar 24th, 2014, 07:31
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#3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matka View Post Relax! She can't do anything. No policeman will file a case over such a trivial matter and where evidence is non-existent. And don't worry about her wealth and "power." Powerful people don't sit in front of the TV all day ordering servants around. She can write letters and email endlessly, but unless she gets off her ass, nothing will get done on its own here. And she doesn't sound like the type to get off her ass. Just avoid her.
Anyway she does really stress me out and my family is because of her. She has lots of money but towards my Indian woman friends who have family and get up at 6 and work and cook for their mother in law, and are so well hearted, she does not move as you said her ass, but she has a big car and money power and who knows what she could do with money and to the police.

I contacted a high level teacher in Delhi, I told her, but she even get worse.
She recorded my voice when she did not speak and i was upset, she treated me as a bitch so i did tell on the phone om namah shivaya. she does not mean to be Hindu because she would have handled different...

She takes as evidence my mails...for the parcel...

Those 2 persons are odd manipulative persons.
Too sad to see it when i travelled all around, faced with ease pandit and swamis, so how would a bloody Indian woman like her just threatened me?...
How she just dare doing it?
When i have always respect, be it from Hindu, Jain, Buddhist believer.

She might have no faith...or yes faith on the series at the TV...

I am still afraid of what she could do...
because i mailed too much.
But as of honour and respect to myself i will never handle the parcel to this man and i want it back to India so she understands that by being nice and with good behavior she would have get the parcel delivered and that while back in India she shall pay for it to send it or find another foreigner "domestic" she would treat same as untouchable.

I am informing now the persons I know in Delhi (those high grade persons who might have another kind of power, the power of highly respected persons) and giving her phone number in hope someone there would get her to some kind of sense and stop her of all this nonsense.

Because she causes too much trouble to me and to my family.

Are you really sure she can do nothing?

I hope high level persons would agree to help me and so she would have to lose her face in front of them, she did not respect me, she should learn that money does not allow her all those behavior and that in front of high level (veg Hindus for example) even of her money she is just nothing because no faith...and not right behavior as in Dharma Dhamma.

She is not in fear for karma so she might not be Hindu or then really a "low Hindu".
#4 Mar 24th, 2014, 07:42
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#4
You're serving no one (not even yourself) by not giving the parcel to whom it belongs, to whom you received money to deliver. Don't do anything else to further complicate the issue. Get the package to whom it belongs and be done with it.

And, by the by (in my humble opinion), being a "veg Hindu" does not necessarily make one any more or less of a person.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure - Marianne Williamson
#5 Mar 24th, 2014, 08:24
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#5
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Originally Posted by Darmabum View Post You're serving no one (not even yourself) by not giving the parcel to whom it belongs, to whom you received money to deliver. Don't do anything else to further complicate the issue. Get the package to whom it belongs and be done with it.

And, by the by (in my humble opinion), being a "veg Hindu" does not necessarily make one any more or less of a person.
This parcel belongs to her only and shall get back to her. I have been nice, she has had no respect at all, and the money was not meant to deliver, instead of there is value of my things at her place of 60euros because i generously made place in my luggage for the parcel. So it shall go back to her, with the 10 euros, and i shall get back my things of 60euros value. And then she can send it from India, the parcel, and it will cost her much more than her non nice behavior. I am the domestic and servant of no one, I am very generous but when someone gives me orders as she does, just no way and as a matter of respect to myself, yes it belongs to her it will go back to her, and i should never have helped her. So i will erase everything and she will do as from the beginning, because she did not value my help.
I agree to you about veg.

But i am not going to be ordered by anyone.

So she shall get it back simply and get the lesson.

And no one ever shall treat me as she did, as if foreigners should be treated as untouchable. She is the first one to do and i will not let it go, out of honour and respect to myself. She is nothing, she deserves nothing, she only deserves her belonging back and she can ask whoever she wishes to be her servant and domestic, i will not be one of hers, never ever.

I will manage even if costly to get it back to her and with her 10 euros.

And she shall give me back my things also and why not pay me to deliver them to me. Same to same, i can also issue same complaint in that case.

I will not but i will not bow over her, she is nothing...
#6 Mar 24th, 2014, 08:37
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#6


A rich indian lady couchsurfer ? I have trouble understanding this whole storyline.

So this lady gave you 10 bucks to take a blanket to your country and deliver it to John Doe ? And, you could not deliver it, so she threatens you ? Is that the jist of it ? In the meanwhile you left 60 Euro worth of goods at her place ? Why did you buy goods in India, and left it at her place, did you not intend to take it home with you ?

Some pieces do not quite fit ! Could you list the pithy core of the issue ?
#7 Mar 24th, 2014, 09:07
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#7
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Originally Posted by nycank View Post

A rich indian lady couchsurfer ? I have trouble understanding this whole storyline.

So this lady gave you 10 bucks to take a blanket to your country and deliver it to John Doe ? And, you could not deliver it, so she threatens you ? Is that the jist of it ? In the meanwhile you left 60 Euro worth of goods at her place ? Why did you buy goods in India, and left it at her place, did you not intend to take it home with you ?

Some pieces do not quite fit ! Could you list the pithy core of the issue ?
Ok i will try.
I was quietly at a guesthouse for my last day and this couchsurger insisted that i go to her place and telling me she would present me to her domestic family and so on. And asking me i would bring a parcel for her. By intuition i did not feel it, felt like simply relaxing at the guesthouse, but maybe was too tired as end of my trip and why not indian family like.

She told me she had like 3 properties, has a big car but then on her house did seem like she did not have so much money, as not working. When i gave things for the kids (as medicaments and sort of) she told me she would use everything and really wished i gave her so much possible.

She gave me 10 euros which I first denied to take (out of freedom) and 10 euros is just nothing towards what i did and left behind. There was no place for things on my own because of her parcel (yes i am stupid, i do agree). Things were things of me as my guidebook of India, as costly bio creams which i do not find again here, which she was happy to take instead and she never had any thanks.
Maybe she has properties and so on, but as not working, she might be needing the money of foreigners...because she was the one to count any single rupie...

To deliver to man she did not tell me he was a militar and with all what goes with it, odd, manipulative, threatening, all what i just hate in a man and really far from Indian men (a bloody militar occidental man, the kind of i use to avoid, and that this lady is accointed to such a man is really not good sign).

She when i arrived did not stop sending me mails (i guess the blanket did wait months) and suddenly out of my own busy life i had to do everything for her and she ordered, unpolitely and rude, and believing she was deserving all that, because what? because rich, because a sense of superiority? she is not...

then as i told her by mail to express gratitude, to avoid orders, as none of my Indian friends do, she did threaten and told me about theft and extorsion

she never expressed any gratitude

she behaved as if i was a mailing company

then she should have sent by DHL herself and complain to a company

she did say we had an agreement and i have no agreement as such

i was just nice
and very stupid
indeed

really stupid

yes i made place for her things and instead had no place for mine

stupid generous

and this bloody Indian lady taking my hand just believed she could then take all body and more

and treat unwisely unpolitely someone

i do not accept ever this

and i shall not bow to a bloody Indian woman like that
never ever

she does not like the fact i do not bow
i do not accept

but i will not

i am stubborn

and this always helped me in India

but now i have been too sweet

and i pay the price of my stupidity

i hope that all will be fine

and i really wish she gets back to India her bloody parcel and this bloody militar man shall wait months or he shall send his money to get his parcel

i am not their domestic

so i shall find a way so that will be no complaint
i guess the easiest is that she gets it back

now she argue she shall get it in same state

what will be next?
extorting money from me?

as said i now inform Indian people up there
and giving her phone number

in hope she will bow to others and lose her face towards high educated Indian people...

and behave at the end

yes i have been really stupid

my only excuse knowing India is that it was my last day and that i did run everyday in India...
#8 Mar 24th, 2014, 09:20
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#8
India has been wonderful but this is really not at all. And i do not want such a bloody lady to take out the benefit of my beloved India.
The fact she goes a lot to Europe and mess with non "good" european people is a very bad sign...
As always i love in India remoted areas where people are not perverted as some Indian who know too much about Europe and who aim in accointance with foreigners to take advantage of another foreigner...it is a pity, i know it does exist and this is again a kind of case...so i really wish the parcel back to India because i will never ever bow to her or to him...they deserve no respect and they rude manipulative and odd persons.

I cannot ignore them because of the complaint, they are just the kind of persons who are not at all my type

anyway action: what to do concretely knowing i do not wish to lose face, and i wish her to get her lesson, and i do not wish any complaint
she shall understand she shall never ever again in her life treat a foreigner the way she does
could i myself lodge a complaint?
this is not my wish but could be
of theft and extorsion of my things in her place...
#9 Mar 24th, 2014, 09:33
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#9
Uma, my advice is take a deep breath, and just let the whole situation go.

Mail the package, and don't worry about it anymore. You will be able to return to India. You can block her from your e-mails. Whatever you left at her place, just let it go - you'll probably not get it back. But please, just let go.

You had a really nice time in India until this happened. Remember the good times. The sooner you stop focusing on this bad situation, the sooner you'll start to feel less stressed. I know this is easier said than done.

Have a cup of chai, take a deep breath, and relax. Please.
#10 Mar 24th, 2014, 10:05
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#10

Hi Uma

First off, you did a good thing to put down all your concerns right over here and let it all vent out.

Now that you did that, I would request you not to dwell too much on the unpleasant experiences. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. I am sure there are bad people as well as good all over the world. This was only a passing phase in your life.

Uma, hope sincerely that the replies you got including mine, have been a little bit fruitful in calming you down.

Lastly, take the advice of Daisy sincerely, and just let it all go. Start your relationship with India once again, all afresh. You will not regret it.

For that, if there's any help you need, you can pm me, I will gladly help you as much as possible. I am from India and I consider myself a sensible, reasonable, and a fair guy.

Take care, be well, bye.
#11 Mar 24th, 2014, 10:34
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#11


What is the issue here please, did not get any head or tail of the story. Can someone please indicate what the main issue is and what exactly happened here. I am all spin-headed after reading the story.
If you find my posts confrontationist, please bear, I am an old frustrated guy who has nothing better to do than sit on rocking chair and curse the world whole day
#12 Mar 24th, 2014, 12:05
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#12
Uma...if the guy wants the blanket, surely he can come and pick it up from you at a designated spot. I don't see why you need to go all the way anyway. I personally would always ask my friend to come and pickup things out of courtesy and because its the obvious thing to do!

So, go on, tell the "militar" that he can take a day off and drive down and pick up the precious blanket
Some of my ramblings!

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#13 Mar 24th, 2014, 12:16
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#13
Uma, you learned a lesson. Never never be someone's mule.
#14 Mar 24th, 2014, 12:41
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#14
The jist of the story -
1. Indian lady meets Umasol and offers a visit/stay at her home (she is supposedly a couchsurfer, rich and does not work).
2. Lady asks umasol to carry a blanket with her to her country to deliver to her friend there(a military guy)
3. Lady pays her 10 euros
4. Umasol agrees
5. Umasol leaves behind about 60 euro worth of things in order to accommodate the blanket
6. Umasol flies home
7. Umasol is busy with family and work and has not sent the blanket to the guy yet
8. Indian lady starts getting impatient, disappointed and starts threatening her with legal action if blanket does not reach her friend immediately.
9. Umasol is upset that Indian lady is so ungrateful and some emotional(?) mails are sent.
10. Umasol tries to involve some other Indian people but the situation worsens(threats of recording phone conversation etc).
11. Now Umasol is thoroughly upset and wants to teach the Indian lady a lesson and not send the blanket to the friend at all. wants to send it back to Indian lady and demand her 60 euro work of things in exchange.
#15 Mar 24th, 2014, 12:45
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#15
Thank you Nayan for helping me to understand these ramblings. But something has confused me. Umasol, why don't you just deliver the blanket and be done with it? End of story.
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