Indian view on an english girl marrying an Indian man.

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#106 Dec 26th, 2010, 12:49
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#106
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Originally Posted by sweetyz View Post but 8 yrs is alot to throw away
I totally understand your feeling. Try to convince his family(or him) or you can give it a try staying in India for sometime and see how you feel and then make a decision?. I know all this sounds hard but did this issue never came up between you people for 8 years?
#107 Dec 26th, 2010, 13:16
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#107
sweetyz, after eight years, there should be no choice at all for your man. After eight years, it is up to him to stand up to them for his rights, your rights as a couple, and the right to live life as you jointly choose and where you jointly choose.

Stand up for yourself, and expect him to stand up for himself.
#108 Dec 26th, 2010, 14:21
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#108
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Originally Posted by prince09 View Post I know all this sounds hard but did this issue never came up between you people for 8 years?
Wanted to say exactly this. It seems the two of you haven't really communicated well these 8 years and tried to figure out the how/where/when of your relationship's future.
And as Nick rightly said both of have to stand up for yourselves and for each other.
#109 Dec 26th, 2010, 17:41
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It seems the two of you haven't really communicated well these 8 years ...
And yet, even in my relatively small experience of Indian lives, loves, relationships and marriages-or-not this is not the first time I have heard this story. After n years of relationship, even live-together relationship, when marriage comes along suddenly the lady discovers she is expected to go and be a daughter-in-law in some village. As if that had been assumed all along.
#110 Dec 26th, 2010, 22:25
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Originally Posted by sweetyz View Post he doesnt mind staying here in singapore with me provided his family agrees. but e problem now is there dont..i simply cant lose my identity and settle there..it seems impossible...
What is he 6 yrs old? He can't think and make decisions about his own life himself? That should be your cue to get yourself a real man.

I know it sounds harsh but whether you've spent 8 yrs or 8 weeks is irrelevant in terms of your future. If this is a harbinger of things to come, better to find out about his immaturity (and perhaps lack of commitment to you personally) now rather than after you've moved to India and heaven forbid had children to worry about on top of yourself in a foreign country.

I remember my husband and I had our where to live, whether to have kids, and many other life-changing conversations very early on in our relationship. Sounds like you two need to sit down and hash all this stuff out now so you can make a decision about any future w/ him. Better late than never. Do it now to avoid ugly surprises later. Alas, yours is not the first such tale we've heard.
#111 Dec 26th, 2010, 23:59
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The last time I heard this story, there was not a chance in hell that the lady concerned was even going try doing that village daughter-in-law thing. Not for five minutes. Never. Ever.

And, being Indian herself, she didn't have to worry about any of this "cultural sensitivity" or "must try to make his parents happy" stuff. She just said no!
#112 Dec 29th, 2010, 13:37
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Originally Posted by offshore View Post Are any of these foreign women who have these small crushes aware how promiscious Indian men can be? It's really an acceptable part in their culture to have out of marriage relations. It's extremely common and accepted. It's not accepted for women to have other relations, but yes, for men it's accepted and this would be something you would have to deal with. Most of you seem to be from a Christian culture where you expect a one-on-one partnership. Maybe this is something to take in consideration.
looks like i am one of those rare indian man who has missed all the fun. i dont even have good friends; they dont even tell me naughty stories of their promiscuous adventures.
#113 Dec 29th, 2010, 13:40
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#113
Damn, we must get together over a beer and some nautch girls, then.
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#114 Dec 29th, 2010, 13:56
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Originally Posted by capt_mahajan View Post Damn, we must get together over a beer and some nautch girls, then.
Count me in Capt...
#115 Dec 29th, 2010, 13:58
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Originally Posted by capt_mahajan View Post Damn, we must get together over a beer and some nautch girls, then.
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Originally Posted by jyotirmoy View Post Count me in Capt...
only if you guys have stories to share
#116 Dec 29th, 2010, 14:19
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#116
I am single... Can I also come ..
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#117 Dec 30th, 2010, 15:07
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#117
Guess I missed out too. Married for over 16 years & still no affairs. Must be doing something wrong.
Lord, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off.
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