How to find a wife in India?

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#31 Feb 14th, 2019, 13:59
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#31
What can I say. It was early morning and I was trying to postpone the inevitable conference call.
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This is computer generated drivel. No signature is required.
#32 Feb 14th, 2019, 15:07
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#32

How to find a wife in India?

They must have all the ladies I never ever met. ie the other half-billion Indian women. The one hundred and sixty-three that I know are nothing like that.
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Life gets aadhar every day.
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#33 Feb 14th, 2019, 16:26
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#33
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Originally Posted by RPG View Post It is near Egmorestation.
Saar! I am not being at all lost, but is that being anywhere near De Forest Station? Or Mole Station?

If Saar could only give precise place we would be reaching in just one minute.
#34 Feb 14th, 2019, 22:59
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Originally Posted by capt_mahajan View Post If your dream is to have a beautifully exotic, faithful, and clever woman who will understand you and your needs as a man, you should look to the Indian bride for the answer to that dream......

Fetishism much?



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Originally Posted by edwardseco View Post My eyes rolled Sama style when I first read this....
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"When you are truly genuine there will invariably be people who do not accept you. And in that case, you must be your own badass self, without apology." -- Katie Goodman
#35 Feb 15th, 2019, 01:04
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#35
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Originally Posted by Sama View Post Fetishism much?

At least, let it be for the reality, not some cooked-up fantasy


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#36 Feb 15th, 2019, 01:09
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#36
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Originally Posted by Sama View Post Fetishism much?
Sorry - isn't it what the thread is about?
#37 Feb 15th, 2019, 01:42
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#37

Haven't read the whole thing so not sure if anybody pointed it out or not. So here u go and IMPORTANT POINT TO KEEP IN MIND WHILE U FIND ONE.

FIRSTLY, arranged marriages are not always the answer and many go down in flames. Since u are foreigners itll be tough for u to find but possible. And also with u comes a life in europe, this will attract enormous amount of gold diggers.

Since u are not backed by culture same as india  and the girl/women youll be marrying will not be close to her fam, lot of good perspective brides will walk away. 


Decisions are usually taken by elder members of family so u need to impress them make a bond.


Lastly, ur search will attract lot of gold diggers, scammers( yes women, sometimes whole family) and weird stuff. So beware.



Cheers


#38 Feb 15th, 2019, 02:54
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#38
Hello again. Thank you for your replies. Thank you Golgher for these links.

I don't understand what is so funny in my post Please notice, that even if something is funny, it doesn't mean that it must be fake or trolling. Reality can be funny, sometimes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nadreg why does she have to be Indian?
Let me explain this. There is a combination of reasons. The black hair & dark skin charm is definitely not enough (I'm not attracted only to ladies with this sort of beauty, thus I can say it's not a "fetish" but rather just a preferrence). Very important reason is that India has a very low divorce rate. From what I know, Indian population is generally not accustomed with idea of dumping a spouse in case of some problems, which is a plague in Europe. I never been married nor divorced, but if I plan to marry, I have to plan it well. Another reason is that they are much more religious people than a vast majority of Europeans. I'm a bit religious too, and people with a deep faith impress me much. Especially Christians from non-christian countries (who are under persecutions in many parts of the world). Of course India is absolutely not the worse country for Christians. Besides, idea of having a foreign spouse fascinates me - life will be less schematic. I always try to think in non-schematic, unconventional ways.

(Bluelake asked the same question as Nadreg)

And no, I didn't watch any Bolywood movie so far (but probably I will for language lerning, that would be Tollywood though).

Quote:
Originally Posted by edwardseco "Matchmakers are everywhere. I was the victim of one such"
Victim? Did you marry some Indian and now you regret it? Is that what you mean?
Can you tell me something about those matchmakers, if there are any differencies between them? Shall I find marriage broker for foreigners or a typical agency will be good enough? I suppose that most of brides don't want to emigrate, but those regiestered in some international agency does want to relocate (if there is any marriage agency for Indians and non-Indians, I don't know)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick-H "I suppose, it's what I did. Fourteen years ago, and here I still am."
Congratulations You are the person who can be giving instructions to me
You have adviced me to expand my knowledge about the country. Right, it is what I'm trying to do - this forum can be one of the initial sources, but if I accomplish my aim finally, I will let you know about that.

One of my question was : Is there any specific social group or caste, that I should be focused on, just to increase my chances? I'm going to find a traditional and religious lady with a bit introvert kind of character. It seems to me that I should not try to find such person in "clubs" and I cannot stay in India for longer than three weeks, I think. So my type of activity must be adequate to this assumption.

Did you sign some special marriage contract with your wife? Don't answer if that question is too private. I'm not going to insult you. This is the lack of knowledge, not an insult.
Are Indian parents really so reluctant and opposing binational marriages when the groom is a foreigner? Is the difference between small towns and big cities really huge?
If I invite my lady to Europe before the wedding, they even will not let her to come here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick-H " And don't settle for less than a bike, a cow, and a colour TV."
Don't worry. There will be no dowry problem with me, as I don't need any money from them. I have my own money.

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldandRambling "Find an Indian wife and bringing her back to "Europe" ... One word... Why?"
To live her with my home as a family. Don't worry about her standards. In my country a social/cultural rank of women is higher then it is in almost every country, including the richest ones. Yes, that hypothetical wife can suffer from being separated from her parents (who would stay in India, I think) but I would recompensate it with some solutions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Govindpuri "Perspective brides will need all the information you can provide."
Sure, my personal data will be given to the bride, if I find any. I'm not going to praise myself here. It would be in bad style.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sama "What's your definition of "decent"? No "decent" women in Europe?"
I never said that. Decent means "with a solid moral backbone".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nycank You are trolling, right ? Have you tried -
Craiglist
Not yet. No, I'm not trolling. I will test that Craiglist. Thanks.


Quote:
Originally Posted by CopyHead this will attract enormous amount of gold diggers.
Yes, I'm aware of this danger. Prenup, or just a suggestion of prenup, will be needed to sort them out.

Quote:
Decisions are usually taken by elder members of family so u need to impress them make a bond.
Speaking their language should help. I must improve my language abilities.
#39 Feb 15th, 2019, 03:52
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#39
The thing is, L.V. that every human being is an individual, unique in themselves.

You are very different from your neighbours, and the persons in your local shop, quite different in opinions and preferences.

If you want a pre-defined person to fit your requirements, you may be able to find such a person, but that sounds more like a business deal...

Finding a wife with their own personality, who thinks for themselves and is happy to move to a foreign country seems more tricky?

Ed
#40 Feb 15th, 2019, 04:10
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#40
Hello L.V. --- It's nice to see you back. Spend a few years with us, and you would become aware of why a post such as yours might, from a new member, elicit just a trace of trolling suspicion.

There are several non-Indian-origin spouses (pl. spice on IM) among our members, living both here and abroad. No doubt their stories will differ. Mine... I think I've bored people to much and too often (as well as wishing I had remained anonymous and kept quieter) since 2004/5 when it all sort-of-just-happened. Both emigration and marriage, and the destination, just seemed like the right things to do at the time. It all added up, and, as such, this major life change actually didn't feel like such a big deal!

The problem that I have, these days, with giving any sort of advice to those from outside India is that India is my normal. I'm the goldfish in the water. I could have talked about it more, from a non-Indian point of view, a decade or so ago. And, even then, I don't know that I could have helped with your situation. Mine was under the umbrella of settling down, and making a home, here in India. Meeting People who wanted to live outside India would have been a different kettle of fish.

Why do you say that you can only spend three weeks here? Are you tied to work, or such obligations, that do not allow more? This comes under the heading of would you date someone for only a week or two and then marry them. My relationship took almost a year from meeting to marriage. I'm not saying that love at first sight doesn't exist... but perhaps not so much on the internet or the offices of a matchmaker. But hey, you could be lucky, just as you could anywhere. On top of which, as I said before, I spent quite a few years getting to know this culture before any of my story happened. The prequel!

By the way, yes, I married a resident Indian in India. She is not the first lady of Indian origin in my life, and I had a relationship of several years duration with such a lady, in Europe. In fact, her first visit to India itself was, as a tourist, with me. She also spoke 1.5 South-Indian languages. As I said before, if it is this mix of cultures that interests you, I'm sure you could find it on your doorstep. I'm tempted to say that I know you can --- but I do not know where you live.

What's your view of why people in different countries do or don't divorce? With all the necessary disclaimers, shallow, nutshell, generalising statements, etc, let me posit that the reason divorce rates are low in India is the same reason that they were low among your grandparents: it's just not done. And I guess that is changing here. This is the same planet: people do leave their partners, run off with others, etc etc etc.

(Edit: crossposted) --- OldAndRambling has very eloquently stated some stuff that I was grasping at)

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#41 Feb 15th, 2019, 10:00
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#41
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Very important reason is that India has a very low divorce rate. From what I know, Indian population is generally not accustomed with idea of dumping a spouse in case of some problems,
A great exaggeration. Even the official figures go the opposite to more than a fair extent. On top of that are unofficial separations sometime with equally unofficial remarriages. Over 4 decades I have been embedded in my family I have seen a lot that defies a naive view. Life everywhere is a challenge and there is no easy paradise. Compatibility is by no means assured even if the marriage stays together.

The worst way is to go through a broker. The best way is to spend time in India joining activities and clubs. Going cheap on the time means that many potential conflict will develop. You could use a colloquial expression like oh key dokie, she interprets it as oh you dog and then she goes to nukes. On Valentine's day I dare not go further. But, its a bit more than give and take. Unless you are planning to croak in a year invest the time. It also gives you an appreciation of things India so that when you have had all your tail feathers burnt off your back you still have a basic tie to fall back on. I can't claim a scientific study however every Indian woman I have met could chew nails and spew flames.

Apologies for all the colloquial expressions. It drives my Dutch pen pals nuts. However, its not like I am from Chicago and say right is only one syllable. As an expat from the country of Texas I speak it righ uuh tuh..
#42 Feb 15th, 2019, 12:31
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#42
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Originally Posted by L.V. View Post Hello again. Thank you for your replies.
Wow ! Second at bat I still find weak correlation between your stated needs and your solution ! having said that !

Try shaadi.com + a zillion other similar sites. I'm sure you know how to use !similar operator in duckduckgo or related operator in google search bar ?

You could provide a live ball-by-ball play for our audience here on IM.

You are not the first here on IM who came lookin ! Take it in that spirit.
#43 Feb 15th, 2019, 13:33
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#43
@Nycank, thanks for reminding me DuckDuck
@Edwardseco I will think about that, but statistics of divorces still are OK for India...
@OldandRambling
Ed, List of my questions posted here was much longer than list of my "recquirements". I'm not fanatically attached to these recquirements.


"The problem that I have, these days, with giving any sort of advice to those from outside India is that India is my normal."
From my perspective it doesn't matter, you are still well-qualified instructor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick-H "Why do you say that you can only spend three weeks here? Are you tied to work, or such obligations, that do not allow more?"
Yes, something like that. I can spend 3 weeks there, maximum 4 weeks. It gives some consequences for my plans. It means that I have to keep long/ not too short relationship through internet as I won't marry after just several meetings. I have to invent something to provide many months relationship before the wedding, but I read that Indian parents don't allow contacts between future spouses before the wedding...

"I do not know where you live."
I live in remnants of Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth.
Local culture is very safe for women. Basically no racism here, especially not against women.
To my satisfaction, some international group of scholars stated ("Map of world cultures" project) that my country culturally is the nearest country to India among all European countries. They meant some balance between some sort of ideas and there are also a lot of differencies, of course. Besides Polish, Slovakian and Czech language are surprisingly very close to Indian Sanskrit tongue. Extended family

I'm back on forum tomorrow. Have a good day!
#44 Feb 15th, 2019, 13:39
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#44
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Originally Posted by Sama View Post Fetishism much?
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmalik View Post Sorry - isn't it what the thread is about?
...and then the "Evil Empire collapsed" and the Natashas flooded the borders...and then internet happened. Asian brides had competition from popups and banner Ads

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick-H View Post not some cooked-up fantasy
Not raw ? sashimi shibari !
#45 Feb 15th, 2019, 14:39
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#45

How to find a wife in India?

L.V., I don't want to be too much of the guy who comes to with the why-nots (it tended to be my management-meeting role: somebody has to do it!) But...

Please don't read too much into this divorce stats thing. It's an utterly false basis. Indian-family stories? I could tell some horror tales; Mr Seco could probably fill the bookshelf left after my slim volume, and Mr Cank, apart from being deeply, almost obsessively, into stats, was... Well, bred and born here.

Let's finish the doom& gloom post with this: forget the divorce stats, look at the suicide stats.

Now let the pendulum swing back to positive!
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