Indianness Test
Familyonthemove
India > Entertainment and Food in India > Community Forums > Humour - It Only Happens in India
#1
| Senior Member

Indianness Test

The Times of India today has a report on a proposed Indianness Questionnaire, similar to the US Citizenship Test.

What questions do IM'ers think should be included?

Here's my starter - with correct answer in Bold:

1. You see a queue of people in line - what action should you take?

a. Wait patiently in line for your turn
b. Come back at a quiet time to avoid queueing
c. Stroll to the front of the queue as if it wasn't there - they must all be new here anyway and they'll learn

Further suggestions please ......

28 Replies

#2
| In charge, navel affairs
You want to go for a leak very badly, and you are in a busy street. You

a)find a wall
b)go to a nice resteraunt nearby, order an expensive coffee and find the loo
c)go to a cheap resteraunt nearby, order a cheap coffee, and find a sink.

(Note: there are no right answers, only wrong questions)
.
This is computer generated drivel. No signature is required.
#3
| Hedonist
#4
| Loud Noisy Bird
Toilets are For Customers Only

So, I go in and have a good look around for the people I'm meeting there. While I'm at it, I find, and use the toilet. Having done so, I double check that those people aren't there and then leave.

That's my London Pub Toilet technique!
~
Life gets aadhar every day.
.
#5
| She-who-must-be-obeyed!
More questions: You have just finished your icecream in a paper cup do you a. Look for the rubbish tin
b. Hand it to the shopkeeper
c. Throw it nonchalently onto the street

Some dust has entered your throat:
a. Take out a handkerchief and cough into it
b. use a glass of water to help clear it
c. make an extremely loud, attention drawing
hoiking sound, and spit dramatically with
force regardless of passers nearby, onto the
pavement
Correct answers are obvious!!!
Every cloud has a silver lining! :)
#6
| In charge, navel affairs

Originally posted by: BabeInTheWoods View Post

Capt - Option a) applies to males only. :(


[Blush] Yep. Wonder if that was politically incorrect.
.
This is computer generated drivel. No signature is required.
#7
| Loud Noisy Bird

Originally posted by: BabeInTheWoods View Post

Capt - Option a) applies to males only. :(
I have once seen a woman pissing in the street. They don't need a wall; just look for the puddle [shock].
~
Life gets aadhar every day.
.
#8
| She-who-must-be-obeyed!
One of the reasons for the big skirts they wear in this area - spread them out and they hide everything. Much "out in the open" loo-going by women here!
Every cloud has a silver lining! :)
#9
| Senior Member

Originally posted by: Aishah View Post

One of the reasons for the big skirts they wear in this area - spread them out and they hide everything. Much "out in the open" loo-going by women here!


Right on Princess Flyover which "flies" over Marine Drive,
at 9 in the morning!! Two ladies taking turn peeing....well it looked like a short visit!! .....against the flyover wall,
whilst against the opposite wall two individuals were doing
their morning exercise.

What was I doing....in the balcony having morning tea after the night before.....:D

This is why I love India..complete democracy, "real" freedom...:cool:
Just happy to be here......... [praiseyou
#10
| Senior Member

Originally posted by: Familyonthemove View Post

The Times of India today has a report on a proposed Indianness Questionnaire, similar to the US Citizenship Test.

What questions do IM'ers think should be included?




2. You are going home on the 6.00 PM Churchgate-Borivali train - you have to get off at Goregaon - what action should you take?

a. Wait patiently in line for your turn to get off.:rolleyes:

b. Think "There is no way I am going to get off this train thru the fifty odd people jammed in the doorway" - continue the journey and get off at the next stop.:mad:

c. Dig both your elbows into the people around you, push hard on the crowd in the doorway - and take with you five / ten others who had no intention of getting off at Goregaon.[shock]
Just happy to be here......... [praiseyou
#11
| Senior Member
You are driving on an Indian road and without warning there is a car/cycle rickshaw/pedestrian/herd of cows/person in a wheelchair/small child/massive pothole/red light/overturned petrol tanker in front of you. You:

(a) slow down drastically and allow the obstacle to pass in front of you
(b) slow down moderately and swerve around the obstacle in a controlled manner
(c) HONK! HONK some more! HONK like you've never HONKED before. Swerve dramatically around the obstacle, give a dirty look in its direction. Maintain the same breakneck speed through out the test and never even think to apply your breaks.

This is a tough one! :D
#12
| She-who-must-be-obeyed!
Eater - your question could easily apply to getting off the Delhi Metro at Rajiv Chowk in peak times when you have to change lines!
c. answer is the only possible solution - 200 people are also trying to get through the door onto your train as you try to get out as well!!
Every cloud has a silver lining! :)
#13
| Member
You are driving at night near Coimbatore and you come across a series of barriers across the road that are called Police Check Points and which have obviously been there for a year or two. There is no sign of Police. The barriers reduce the road to a one lane chicane.
Do you:
(a) slow down to see if any traffic has entered the chicane from the other end
(b) try to get through the chicane before any other traffic comes along
(c) speed up to test whether it is still possible for two cars to pass through the single lane at the same time.

You are parked at the side of a busy road and want to pull out into heavy traffic.
Do you:
(a) check in your rear vision mirror to see if there is any traffic coming
(b) enter the road and reach traffic speed as soon as possible so as not to get in the way of any drivers on the road
(c) ignore the traffic on the road and just pull out in your own good time and at your own good speed

Answer to both (c)
#14
| Loud Noisy Bird
In your first part, you omitted the vital step of switching your headlights to full beam, blinding the oncoming vehicle.

With any luck, they then may not even see the barrier, crashing into it on their side of the road, and leaving the entire gap free for you.

:eek:
~
Life gets aadhar every day.
.
#15
| Drunk Member
You see a foreign man walking with an odd shaped ball. You:

a] Recognise it as a rugby football, and yell "Pass it to me!"
b] Ask yourself "Why a man has a rugby ball in India?"
c] Stare at it like it was an outer space alien, trying to adapt to Earth life.
Mr. Burns "Non-violence never solved anything!"