How difficult can it be to .........

Malkers

Get A Gas Connection plus everything else related to "Shifting"

Ok, before I start this thread, please please don't lets have people coming on here saying "thats the way of this country so don't poke fun at it blah blah blah" I'm trying to make an amusing anecdote here and also to understand some logic behind another practice that some of us westerners find a bit odd, thats all!

Anyway, so we sealed a deal recently on a new apartment just down the road from our other place where we have been living relatively hassle free for the past 18 months. All amenities at the old place were handled by my fiance's company before we arrived so apart from a short delay getting internet put in, that was about all the problems we had.

This time however, we had decided to go it alone, to get our own place with better facilties that suited us (mainly a big terrace for the barbecue) so therefore it was down to us to sort out all amenities ourselves. We managed to get a whole heap of furniture from some English friends who were heading home for good and hired The Laurel & Hardy removal company for an action packed fun day of home moving or 'shifting' as it is referred to here. No real problems except the fact that these guys had quite obviously never packed furniture on to a van before! Until that is they get to the gate of our complex and the security personnel won't let them in! Off I went down to the gate to enquire as to why to be told I have to pay a shifting charge!

Whats a shifting charge, says me!
Its a charge for shifting, says he!
Really, and who is doing the shifting, says me!
You are, says he!
So why do I have to pay you when it is I doing the shifting, says me!
Because you're shifting, says he!
And how much is the shifting charge, says me!
Two Thousand Rupees, says he!
And what does this two thousand rupees go towards, says me!
Shifting, says he!
No, I mean where does the money go, says me!
To the association, says he!
Ok, where's is the association office, says me!
It is closed, says he!
So how can I pay this if the office is closed, says me!
You can give it to me, says he!
And can you give me a receipt, says me!
We will bring that round tomorrow, says he!
Ok then, when you bring round this receipt tomorrow I'll pay you the two thousand rupees then, says me!
Not possible, says he!

Ok, so to cut it short the finally opened the office for me and found the receipt book because I just do not hand over cash for anything without a receipt to prove I have paid whats due! As we headed for the office clearly with 2 visible 1000rs notes in my hand I requested that the van be allowed in to carry on unloading as we had a lot to get done, no problem they said. 20 minutes later after filling in numerous forms etc, I get back out to find they've still not let them in. A bit pissed off about the 2000rs I hadn't been warned of by anyone but of course I shouldn't assume anything and of course they were giving me a service!!!! Should've read the small print

So the guys unloaded one vanload and I'm all ready to get them to go back for the last vanload from our other place when they tell my Indian friend that they have finished and have to go. I asked how can they be finished when I booked them for the whole day. Well of course they weren't removal guys at all, one of them had nicked the van from his works and his boss had just found out and was phoning round trying to find out who had the van! So out came the wallet and a few extra bucks bought their services for a couple more hours! Took all day to move in from our old place just 1.6km away but it was done. Had already been to see the internet guys the day before to make sure we could get connected from the moment we were in, they quoted us 1 hour to do the cabling and took 7 but thats the IST (Indian Stretchable Time) that I have come to know and understand but certainly not love! Went to see the cable tv guys to get that connected, not possible sir, why not, 800rs still outstanding, ok thats the previous tenant's problem not mine, I just want cable tv put in, 800rs must be paid first sir, ok let me pay you in advance for MY connection for the next 6 months so that you know I'm not gonna leave you with another unpaid bill, still not possible sir. A quick phonecall to the management company who agrees to reimburse me the 800rs and we have a deal! Can I have a receipt please, don't have a receipt book sir! AARRRGGGHHH Finally got one though, he just couldn't be bothered to open his drawer

So, cable tv is connected, or so I presume as I hadn't actually bought a tv yet so off we go to the nearest big electrical store and did a deal on a tv, washer and fridge. How soon can you deliver this I asked, right now says the man, bloody brilliant says I but really what time will he be there because we are not actually staying there tonight, 7.30 - 8.00pm sir. Perfect, thanks!
8.30 comes, I phone up, with you in 5 minutes sir, ok! 9.30 comes, I phone up, with you in 10 minutes sir, you said 5 minutes an hour ago, where is he, round the corner sir, you are next. 10.30 comes, I phone up, no answer I go back home to old place at 11.15, as I walk in I get a phone call, trying to deliver your electricals sir! AAAARRRRGGGHHH You'll have to come back tomorrow now as I'm not there and there are no autos around, ok sir will deliver at 2.30 tomorrow afternoon, fine! He turned up as promised on the dot of 4.30pm and installed everything and even took the boxes away, delivery within 24 hours of stated delivery time, progress eh!

Found out where to get our pressing done (a luxury I will truly miss back home!), where to put the garbage, where to get groceries cigarettes and booze and where the local takeaways were, very proud of ourselves having achieved everything in a foreign country in the space of a couple of days, all except, THE GAS CONNECTION! But really how difficult could that be? It wasn't so desperate as we had one of these OTG things (Oven, toaster, grill for those who don't know) and had bought a microwave from our English friends but really, nobody should hae to put up with microwaved scrambled eggs should they?

So I went to the admin office and asked how I could get a gas connection, this was the point I realised that I had asked a million dollar questions, he made one of those sucking through the teeth sounds like a cockney plumber does when he comes to see your boiler thats on its way out That could be a difficult one sir, no its ok sir, I have the cooker already and have a gas bottle that I brought down from my previous place so all I actually need to do is buy a regulator and a piece of pipe and maybe get someone to fit it for me as I have no tools. You can't buy a regulator sir, ok then I just need to rent one, you can't do that either sir, WHAT?? I took a deep breath, counted to ten and asked what I had to do to get gas in my flat. I have to give you an authorised letter sir, then you have to take this along with a copy of your lease to an authorised gas company who will arrange a connection for you, he told me where this nearest place was and said he will have the letter for me tomorrow. Ok then I said and left thinking to myself "Connection, connection? Its a bloody primus stove and a gas bottle!) So the next day I go back to the office, the man I dealt with is not there and I enquire of his colleagues if he has left an authorisation letter for me, no sir but he will be in tomorrow, I had expected that answer anyhow and like I said, I wasn't so desperate for the gas!

The next day comes and I go back to the office, the same original man is there so I asked him about this letter, he looked a bit flummoxed obviously because he'd forgotten it, opened his drawer (the same drawer he was sitting by when I'd first seen him 2 days ago!), pulled out a form, signed it and told me to put my name and flat number on it AAARRRRGGGHHH, it took 30 bloody seconds, why didn't he do that when I first saw him? (If one person says "maybe he didn't have any forms that day, I swear I'll.....).

Too busy to deal with it for a few days I finally braced myself for the challenge yesterday and off I went with lease and letter in hand all jolly knowing I could boil a pan for coffee and make myself a bacon sarnie when I got back! First stop HP Gas! Good morning sir, how can I help you? I need a gas regulator please either to purchase or to rent, I'm sorry sir we don't do either! Oh but you have a sign there saying how much it is to rent and how much deposit on it. Thats only for a gas connection sir! Brilliant, thats exactly what I need my dear, a gas connection so please rent me your finest regulator with a piece of pipe and get your man to come and fit it for me for which you will be duly paid (ok so I didn't talk quite like that but its how I was thinking and my sarcasm, lack of patience and the knowledge that this lady was not going to do a thing to help me had already kicked in). No sir, that is only possible if you have the whole connection of stove , regulator and gas bottle! Ok, so you mean to tell me that if I just want the regulator and I'm willing to pay you for it (hell I'd pay double for the darn thing!) you don't want my business? That's correct sir! ARRRRGGGHHH

So what are my options then, you can have a complete connection or you can go to Jayanagar 9th Block and you'll see all the shops selling stoves and metalwork, you'll be able to get regulator and pipe there. Oh! says I, I thought you had to buy it from a proper company, you do sir but you can get it from there also. Fantastic, wishing I'd gone straight there first and cut though all this red tape bullshit, I hop in an auto and head for Jayanagar 9th block, he stops at 4th block and I say this is 4th block, I want 9th block, he says I know sir but not going that way! ARRRGGHHHH

We hop in the next auto and ask for 9th block (bearing in mind I don't know one block from another in Jayanagar) and he does a U turn and heads back in the same direction we'd just come from and find we'd actually driven through 9th block to get to 4th block

So we find this row of shops that was described to us, went in each and every one of them and they all said "Oh no sir, you can only get this from an authorised company", yes yes I know that but you have some you can sell me right? no no sir, only from an authorised company! I even tried whispering at the back of the shop and said look, I don't need a receipt, just get me a regulator and I'll pay you cash, almost as if I was doing a drug deal but the answer was just the same! ARRRGGHHH

At this point I felt like going back to HP and shoving a regulator where the sun don't shine but I'm not a violent man, usually!

So we get in another auto, drop Jen at work and explain succesfully to the auto driver what I want to get, I knew there was another company near Shoppers Stop but not exactly where so we headed that direction and eventually found Indane Gas Company. It was 2.25pm and they were closed for lunch until 2.30pm, great, only 5 minutes to wait so I got chatting to a couple of guys also waiting who spoke perfect English and knew exactly what I was talking about and exactly enough to tell me that what I wanted to do, I couldn't do. They enquired how I already had my own gas bottle and I explained I had brought it from my previous flat. You can't do that sir, you are not authorised to moe gas bottles and its not safe for the public to do so! My mind immediately thought of this picture http://www.malcolmshipp.co.uk/June%2...2005%20002.jpg .

You have to get a complete gas connection, the stove, the regulator, the bottle but first you need a ration card and you might have to wait a few weeks after that to get your gas connection, a few weeks?????? No problem with the ration card says I, I have brought along my lease and a letter from the complex and if I have to waste money on a new stove and gas bottle then I'll have to. But I don't think you can get your ration card from here, you have to go to another office! AAAARRRRGGGHHHH

It was 2.29pm and I never even waited for that door to open, the auto driver is telling me he can take me somewhere else but nope, I was at boiling point now and just wanted to go home!

Coming up in the lift I had already decided to put a pot of water in the microwave and make myself a strong coffee and chill out on the balcony with a book for a while, I walk in, the place is really hot so I flicked the fan switch on, nothing AAARRRRGGHHH No Bastard Power!!!!

After 20 minutes the fan started spinning so I headed for the kitchen, flicked the wall switch for the microwave, nothing AAARRRRGGGHHH I got power to everything in the flat except those big plugs for the cooker, microwae and toaster!

Being a crafty clever bugger, I turned the timer on the microwave to 30 seconds so that I would know when the power had got to it when I hear the ding! Not long to wait and I here the ding, well I'm in that kitchen like a flash just in case it ain't on for long, grabbed my glass plunger pot, turned on the tap AAARRRRGGGHHH, yes you'd never believe it but there was no water on, I had bottled water, I got my coffee, I calmed down, I survived the day but still had no f'ing gas!

I cannot believe that there is no black market for gas regulators but I am damn determined even if it takes me the rest of the time I'm here that I'm gonna buck this system and sort it myself!

There are hundreds and hundreds of shops selling all types of gas stoves in Bangalore, next week I feel it is my duty to go to them all, put them out of the misery and tell them why they ain't selling any

Next chapter tomorrow entitled How Difficult Can It Possibly Be to ....... Get A Phone Connection which was my treat for the day today along with having no internet for about 7 hours!

Please feel free to add your own stories to finish the title sentence!

Malc

jivan

to say the least it made for quite an entertaining read (would be reading/translating the same to my mother) & damn sure my aunty had to go through the same when she just moved cities. That's why the kerosene black mkt. functions. Best of luck mate! Btw for phones u could try Airtel as atleast in Pune they give the service same day atleast where I'm located.

scub_a_holic

Malc,

Thats the funniest thing i've read in a loooong time Can't wait to have a beer with you at the BBQ unless you've exploded by then.

Cheers,
John

manojb

Malkers, who do you have your gas connection with? If it is one of the state owned companies (HP, Indane, etc.) they are not supposed to force you to buy a new stove, etc. You can transfer your connection from one dealer to another by getting a transfer letter from your original dealer. The second dealer is supposed to inspect (you have to pay an inspection charge) your stove, etc. to verify that it is authorised and they might make a fuss about it (Sir, we do not have any technicians available to do inspections for the next 3 months). You might want to consider asking for the Complaint Book.
If it is a private gas company, you are out of luck.
Also, it is the first time that I am hearing of an apartment association charging a shifting fee.

Nick-H

First rate Glad to see that your spirits are boyant in the face of all this!

Got my "gas connection" in 24 hours. But, yes, went for the whole deal with cooker. I think the cooker was about 1500Rs --- you might just as well buy it and chuck it and just call it 1500Rs worth of stress-saving!

Got my phone connected in 24 hours, working in 48 hours, broadband two weeks later.

All along I had the sneeking suspicion that, like some sort of Russian Roulette, the Indian System was waiting to get me.

The visa. Not so much the visa, as the middle man.

"yes, 3 weeks maximum".

That was nine weeks ago. He never answers the phone, he almost never rings, and when I suggest that his parents should have taught him some manners he seems to think I'm the one at fault.

Malc.... shall we get some blow-up dummies of estage agents, gas agents, visa agents AND LET RIP?

jivan

Hi all,
After recounting the story ...sorry incidence with Malkers to my mother she said why don't u tell them our story/experience. So here's from somebody who has lived in this land for 30 yrs. Please draw the conclusions after going through the whole thing.
For a period of 3 years we had gone to live at our Mausi's (Sister on mother's side) place & hence weren't using our HP connection in pune. So after coming back to Pune, the 1st thing after getting the house in order again was the routine booking/refilling of the gas bottle. So armed with the HP pass-book with the relevant last date when we had recieved gas went to the office. The first thing the lady replied is that we've nothing to do with the pass book. You have to show the Original Reciept when you had booked the last time. So after digging in the house for a while got an Original Receipt. So this time (2 days after)around armed with the pass-book & the receipt went to the lady. This time she replied please bring proof of residence for which either :-

A. Ration card :- We don't have a ration card as the last time we had used to buy ration was 7 yrs. back. Then the govt. had decided that people living above the poverty line (APL) would have to let go of this card & get a white card. So although the red card was taken from us the white card wasn't issued. We had to gone to the ration office 6-7 times after which the lady there replied our card is in another shop. So went there 6-7 times & each time this place was locked. So due to the fact that anyway we couldn't use the new card anyhow(for ration purposes) & other routine/mundane things piling up left it.

B. Electricity Bill :- The bill is in the name of the previous tenant as my grandpa had shifted here at the present place 50 years ago. Then as he was in the goverment job he used to get transfer orders every 3 yrs. Hence he didn't bother about it & we continued to pay the bills. Even the MSEB (The Maharashtra Electricity Control Board) didn't have any issues as the bills were paid on time. As no. of years passed & the need felt to transfer it to our name the MSEB asked us to get the landlord's permission as that is required in a tenancy thing. So went to the landlord but he didn't agree as he had filed a suit in the court of law to vacate the premises. Needless to say, we won the case on merit (15 yrs).

C. Driving License :- As we don't have a vehicle & I don't like to drive don't have a driving license.

So after all the normal paths were exhausted & giving us a look of pity she said bring some other proof of residence. After a brainwave it was suggested by us to show an empty registered letter addressed to me/us which was accepted that this will constitute as proof.
So this time armed with Original Reciept,Pass-book & the empty registered letter went to the office. Then she asked us to write an application stating why we hadn't booked the gas for 3 yrs. After writing the required application & affixing the empty registered letter as proof we asked for a waiting list no.
This time the lady replied that a mechanic would come to our premises to see if the stove hasn't been damaged as the stove hasn't been used for 3 years. She said he would come after couple of days & to give complete (postal+landmarks) address . So after giving the complete address+ the mechanic's visitation charges(full in advance with receipt of the same) we retreated back home. This whole episode happened on an Monday, till Friday the mechanic didn't turn up. Then on Saturday we went it was a half day, sunday is closed & hence on monday morning (7 days)
went there early morning to say that the mechanic hadn't come. After using all kinds of wits & arguing she promised he would be there today or tomorrow. The mechanic came on Tuesday afternoon. He looked at the manufacturing date of the pipe & declared it unsafe (Mind u, it was in excellent shape). So he said the option was either to buy a pipe from them for Rs. 450/- or to buy a pipe from outside & then get it certified through them that the pipe is safe only then we would get the waiting list no. So we purchased it then & there itself with the promise that we would get a cylinder within 3 days. 3 days more & still no cylinder so on the fourth day went to the office to enquire. So this time the lady consulted her senior & we were given a date after 2 days or to take the cylinder from the godown. The godown is quite far from our place & we live on the 1st floor. So taking an empty clynder down, taking a rickshaw, exchanging it & getting the new one & hauling 35 kgs. of a dangerous cylinder is not something we wanted to consider hence settled for the 2 day wait.
Again we waited for 3 days but to no cylinder in sight. So again on the 4th day early morning 9-9:30 a.m. went to the office, the lady said the person had already been there. After our denials & some re-checking it was known to be right. Then the lady spotted the guy who actually delivers the cylinders. I/we rushed to him & asked him to supply the cylinder as we live closeby. He said nothing doing he would visit our premises at 12'o clock . Soon enough he came on the appointed time & exchanged the cylinders. After the whole thing was done he wanted to have a tip/baksheesh. Now we had to put the foot down as we had paid closed to 1k & wasted lot of time/energy in this. I explained to him that if we had got the connection on the 1st day I would have gladly paid him his tip. From his facial expressions it was clear he was thinking what kanjoos(not getting the right word here) family we are.
Please be aware of the fact that this was an existing connection. So when we guys laugh it isn't that we're saying that u guys are fools or anything, we know this to be the routine. This what I explained happened with my family is not new or peculiar in any way. From what little I've seen of this place India it's the same just a little bit better-worse from place to place. Peace

P.S. :- I forgot to mention the most hilarious thing, the office is 2 min either by walk/vehicle from my place.

crvlvr

Entertaining!

India is a large country and Malkers experience may not be representative of what you might experience in another city. Having said that, I think Bangalore is by far the worst city. The recent influx of transpants have stressed the system beyond its capacity. To make matters worse a lot of people who work the system (including auto drivers) are rtecent transplants and don't have a clue either.

Merchant

In "Maximum City: Bombay Lost & Found," Suketu Mehta devotes the better part of a chapter to getting a gas connection. In short, it ain't easy.

SHIMLA

That's where the gas dealers make their margin, hence they insist on one's purchasing the cooker/hotplate alongwith the connection.

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ambika

Malk!
Wow, i'm so sorry that i found that so bloody entertaining! I even imagined that actor guy (meet the parents, meet the fockers, something about mary) playing the character of you.
Are you sure your not on some reality tv candid camera kind of show and soon a television crew and all your family and friends will jump out ......"surprise"!
great to hear that you still have it together though Malk. These life tests can be really REALLY trying, but the ones that stay calm and smile always end up on top! Good luck and keep up the posts - they are interesting, funny and simply..... India.
ambika

goangoangone

I'm in Goa and Bharat Gas is the supplier. Not too much of a runaround to get connected but I have a local friend who helped. So after the usual, people not turning up etc., I did get connected. The gas company offered me their stove for about 2500, if I remember correctly. I didn't need one as I'd already bought a "proper" oven.(I reckon that's stoneage,it looks like a modern oven but the "guts" are more like 1950's design). I later decided to get a stove and paid 800. However, the delivery of the bottles, connector and regulator occurred while I was out. Tile layers were working in my flat and they took delivery. I asked my friend round to set it up and check things and lo and behold there was no regulator. My friend has apartments so had a spare regulator. Went back to Bharat and was told that the regulator had been delivered and showed me the signature. The tile layer's presumably. Bharat woman checked with the delivery guy and he said he delivered it. Then she said he would come round and see the regulator. I asked what for. There is no new regulator to see, only the one I'd borrowed. I said he can come round anytime but needless to say he never did.
So, who nicked the regulator?
Every time I'm passing the gas shop, I go in and ask where my regulator is, just to wind them up.

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Paagla Dashu

I have lived in Apartment complexes in three countries (not including India and two of them would qualify to have "Western Standards"). Each time we moved into a new complex, we were required to pay a moving fee of ~ 100 USD and a security deposit (refunded after a week) of 2500 USD to the condo management. The moving fee is to pay for the clearance of garbage and repairing small damages to paint/walls in common areas while moving furniture and the security deposit was to guard against any major damages. My company was aware of local rules in each case and they or the movers appointed by them took care of it - but I did ask questions - so was not caught by surprise.

Btw - In all the developed countries I lived in - a. no apartment management allows moving over weekends and b. very few allow barbeque in apartment balconies.

Just curious - may be able to help:
you had gas supply in your apartment 1.6 KM away?
Why did you not bring the stove and the regulator when you brought the bottle?
Who supplied the bottles?
You should go to the same distributor and make a change of address.

Or is there a missing part of the puzzle?

jivan

Merchant: In case if u've the book & come to pune, hopefully I can borrow it for couple of days.

Yogesh Sarkar

good points

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Paagla Dashu

I don't think we will get an answer though.