Why do people laugh at me?

namaste_cat · Oct 10th, 2009, 21:00

Can't say it better than labrol -- "So it is all about the awkwardness of the situation within them and nothing to do with you." That sums it up excellently.

I was going to ask as well where you are because it sounds like you're in a small town or rural area, and based on what Capt_M noted, makes sense you might be the only foreigner some have seen. Perhaps your colleagues are intrigued by the fact that you look different but in other ways are so much like them. It's more of a comparison thing, and not really laughing at you.

As for men, agree with Aishah, Nick, Shivani and others - best to not even return their hello, and keep walking. When I see men in a group in any country, e.g. much-dreaded construction workers in the U.S., I high tail it out of there as fast as I can with not even a glance or hello.

Have you made any friends there? Sounds like you will be staying for a bit as a teacher. Might help once you have an Indian friend or two because they can help interpret some of these signals. And as time goes by, you'll be less of a novelty item, so the giggling should get better. One can hope...

Hang in there, and don't take it personally hard though it can be to do so.

linkety · Oct 10th, 2009, 22:18

I also experience this but I agree with everyone else - they're not laughing at me, it's usually an embarrassed/awkward/confused laugh

I kind of like it. I prefer for people to react to me in a joyful/smiling way than anything else. I generally just laugh back and shake my head in a "whatever" kind of way.

Haylo · Oct 10th, 2009, 22:26

As it's you that's having the trouble with this, and not the people around you, I don't think the problem is with the people around you, it is with the way you are viewing this.

Try and remember that the culture is not "wrong" but it is simply different, things like staring and being intrusive just aren't seen as being ill mannered by many many people.

Maybe I'm just too old to care what people think of me, though I've never been one to worry about that too much, but when I hear someone in India laugh or giggle, I think "Isn't it lovely, after miserable old England, to be around lighthearted people with such a sense of fun". If they're laughing at me, which frankly is far from infrequent, and something I encourage by doing daft things like pulling silly faces when I'm with young people who don't speak any English, I think "Isn't it great that I'm making someone laugh" - something that transcends all language barriers.

As for gangs of men giggling when you speak to them, do you talk to groups of men who hang around street corners at home? If you don't, why are you doing this in India? Men en masse are never the most sophisticated of characters in any country; you may as well expect a mature reaction out of a class of four year olds.

Nick-H · Oct 10th, 2009, 22:55

Consider that generalism objected to!

(She's right... of course

)

Hal · Oct 10th, 2009, 23:13

With a bald head, pale skin and an occassionally far-too-long red beard, I get lots of laughs when traveling. In India I've been called Ali Baba more than once. In Thailand I had a group of women line up to have their photos taken with me, all of them were howling with laughter.

I just play along and try not to take it personally. I've never sensed that it's mean-spirited in any way, just nervousness or delight

at seing something that's not too common.

camelgirl · Oct 11th, 2009, 00:18

lozza84I hope all the previous responses make you feel better. And don't let it ruin your experience.

I used to think, "now I know what it must be like for real celebrities who have to cope with all kinds of bizarre acting fans!" Oh yes, even including people wanting to take photos with you! (This also happened to me in Singapore. A bunch of young women stopping me for photos with them! I'm an ordinary looking senior citizen with white hair & I still don't understand it

--it was hysterically funny!)

You are in a small place & you are the local celebrity--like it or not, just because you are foreign. Tittering & giggling erupts! You are not doing anything wrong. You just didn't expect to be the center of so much attention. Hopefully, they will tire of it (the guys in doorways will NEVER tire of it), when they get used to seeing you all the time.

machadinha · Oct 11th, 2009, 00:35

If it makes you feel any better, guys & girls in India and of pretty much all ages may laugh or giggle at me as a man too, and seemingly either because I acknowledged them or failed to do so, or whatever. Dressed up in a local style or not, etc.

Being a man, it's maybe easier for me to not read too much into it. Well, that, and having learned early to not pay too much attention to what others appear to think of you -- either because I was different, or because I chose to be so.

As Aishah said, there are more important things than such trivialities. If you can overcome being bothered by it, that will surely be a thing gained. I'm not kidding either; many seem to never progress beyond that stage, and it's an important step in life in general if you ask me.

PeakXV · Oct 11th, 2009, 01:01

Yes, children, teens will laugh at foreigners. They joke, they look for the slightest sign of unusualness. I remember on my first trip to India a bunch of kids laughing hysterically. When my India colleague asked them what they were laughing at - they pointed to me. It turns out that I was standing next to one of those bright gas lamps at twilight, making my skin much whiter & almost a ghost like appearance from a short distance. We all had a good laugh in the end.

Wildhorse · Oct 11th, 2009, 01:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by lozza_84

At first I thought maybe I was being paranoid but it happens constantly and I can't take it anymore. I've tried to challenge people on it and ask why they laugh but then unsurprisingly they lose the ability to speak English and just play dumb. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I am dressing appropriately

It's not you, it's them. It's nothing personal, believe me. You'll have to learn to ignore it, just like the staring. What you describe has happened to me numerous times, all over India, and I'm neither very young nor blonde. Young Indians (teens, and sometimes twens) are generally not as mature as, say, Westerners of the same age. A group of 20-year-olds may crack jokes, laugh at you, giggle, etc. - which is what 12-year-olds in Europe might do when they see someone who looks unusual, and "unusual" you are just by being white, no matter how much you try to blend in. And it's always at least two people who laugh at you, right? So one of them usually gets up the courage to say something or yell at you things like "hello Madam" (which may very well be the only English he knows), probably just to impress his peers, and then they burst into laughter... they are just insecure and immature. Same goes for girls who start giggling for no apparent reason. It's best not to react. Don't try to be polite and respond. Just ignore it. This whole thing is not about politeness. Be polite to people who deserve it.

Enjoy your stay. Learn to ignore this silly behaviour. It has nothing to do with you.

capt_mahajan · Oct 11th, 2009, 01:28

More than silly, it is a cultural difference, actually. Many middle class Indians have learnt to behave in a manner akin to what is seen in the West; these folk may actually be much more natural.

PS: Often, when we (all Indian family) used to go cross country driving, children would gather around the car in remote areas when we stopped for tea or whatever in a small township. Not begging, mainly staring. Because to them, we are a different species in some ways. Happens even today.

A foreigner, that much more.

Haylo · Oct 11th, 2009, 01:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wildhorse

Same goes for girls who start giggling for no apparent reason. It's best not to react. Don't try to be polite and respond. Just ignore it.

Yes you could ignore it. Or you can smile nicely and get huge happy friendly smiles back. Someone might even be brave enough to come over and try out their English, I've met lovely people that way and happily hung out with them for a while, even though we've exchanged very few actual words.

Quote:

This whole thing is not about politeness. Be polite to people who deserve it.

Wow... I'm polite because that is who I am, not because I have rated other people on a "deserving of politeness scale".

That doesn't mean I stop and talk to touts, but I'm never deliberately rude either. I don't think that people who are giggling are being at all rude. Unless you plan to only talk to other foreigners, if you ignore everyone in India who does not match your western cultural expectations, you are going to be in for a pretty dull and lonely time!

Nick-H · Oct 11th, 2009, 01:35

Quote:

these folk may actually be much more natural

Indeed, like my Cornish farmers.

Sex tends to make me laugh. That has lead to some difficult moments.

abracax · Oct 11th, 2009, 02:24

There are over a billion people in India, and at least 20% of them are quite silly. Especially the ones who have nothing better to do but stand around pretending to work. You probably look like someone they saw on TV or in a movie.

Nick-H · Oct 11th, 2009, 02:43

What percentage are very silly?

tittooraju · Oct 11th, 2009, 03:03

According to google search results,Unemployment in india is 6% whereas that in canada is 8.4%.
He.. He.. He.. :-) :-) :-)

Oct 10th, 2009, 22:26	#18
Haylo Structural Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Middle East and heading Easter Posts: 5,804	As it's you that's having the trouble with this, and not the people around you, I don't think the problem is with the people around you, it is with the way you are viewing this. Try and remember that the culture is not "wrong" but it is simply different, things like staring and being intrusive just aren't seen as being ill mannered by many many people. Maybe I'm just too old to care what people think of me, though I've never been one to worry about that too much, but when I hear someone in India laugh or giggle, I think "Isn't it lovely, after miserable old England, to be around lighthearted people with such a sense of fun". If they're laughing at me, which frankly is far from infrequent, and something I encourage by doing daft things like pulling silly faces when I'm with young people who don't speak any English, I think "Isn't it great that I'm making someone laugh" - something that transcends all language barriers. As for gangs of men giggling when you speak to them, do you talk to groups of men who hang around street corners at home? If you don't, why are you doing this in India? Men en masse are never the most sophisticated of characters in any country; you may as well expect a mature reaction out of a class of four year olds. __________________ The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful - E.E. Cummings, poet (1894-1962)

Oct 11th, 2009, 00:18	#21
camelgirl 10 year Visa okee dokee Join Date: May 2005 Location: Swannanoa NC usa Posts: 2,037	lozza84I hope all the previous responses make you feel better. And don't let it ruin your experience. I used to think, "now I know what it must be like for real celebrities who have to cope with all kinds of bizarre acting fans!" Oh yes, even including people wanting to take photos with you! (This also happened to me in Singapore. A bunch of young women stopping me for photos with them! I'm an ordinary looking senior citizen with white hair & I still don't understand it --it was hysterically funny!) You are in a small place & you are the local celebrity--like it or not, just because you are foreign. Tittering & giggling erupts! You are not doing anything wrong. You just didn't expect to be the center of so much attention. Hopefully, they will tire of it (the guys in doorways will NEVER tire of it), when they get used to seeing you all the time. __________________ My selected India photos http://www.indiamike.com/photopost/s...r/7030/cat/500

Oct 11th, 2009, 00:35	#22
machadinha brother my cup is empty member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: yörp Posts: 14,373	If it makes you feel any better, guys & girls in India and of pretty much all ages may laugh or giggle at me as a man too, and seemingly either because I acknowledged them or failed to do so, or whatever. Dressed up in a local style or not, etc. Being a man, it's maybe easier for me to not read too much into it. Well, that, and having learned early to not pay too much attention to what others appear to think of you -- either because I was different, or because I chose to be so. As Aishah said, there are more important things than such trivialities. If you can overcome being bothered by it, that will surely be a thing gained. I'm not kidding either; many seem to never progress beyond that stage, and it's an important step in life in general if you ask me. __________________ Reading tips, all picked up at IndiaMike : INDAX's A Comprehensive Guide To India / Dinoj Surendran's Desi Humor / ITHVC on Culture Shock & Travel Health / JetLag Travel Guides For the Undiscerning Traveller / India Travel Links Last edited by machadinha : Oct 11th, 2009 at 18:25.

Oct 11th, 2009, 01:01	#23
PeakXV Naan.tering Nabob Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Abode of Glooscap Posts: 5,878	Yes, children, teens will laugh at foreigners. They joke, they look for the slightest sign of unusualness. I remember on my first trip to India a bunch of kids laughing hysterically. When my India colleague asked them what they were laughing at - they pointed to me. It turns out that I was standing next to one of those bright gas lamps at twilight, making my skin much whiter & almost a ghost like appearance from a short distance. We all had a good laugh in the end. __________________ What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes Don't go to India ~ Pre-trip Warnings & Misconceptions?

Oct 11th, 2009, 01:28	#25
capt_mahajan Infidel Sufi Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: styx Posts: 13,605	More than silly, it is a cultural difference, actually. Many middle class Indians have learnt to behave in a manner akin to what is seen in the West; these folk may actually be much more natural. PS: Often, when we (all Indian family) used to go cross country driving, children would gather around the car in remote areas when we stopped for tea or whatever in a small township. Not begging, mainly staring. Because to them, we are a different species in some ways. Happens even today. A foreigner, that much more. __________________ . Outside the machine

Oct 10th, 2009, 21:00	#16
namaste_cat Kashmiri-Punjabi Sherni Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Amreeka Posts: 940	Can't say it better than labrol -- "So it is all about the awkwardness of the situation within them and nothing to do with you." That sums it up excellently. I was going to ask as well where you are because it sounds like you're in a small town or rural area, and based on what Capt_M noted, makes sense you might be the only foreigner some have seen. Perhaps your colleagues are intrigued by the fact that you look different but in other ways are so much like them. It's more of a comparison thing, and not really laughing at you. As for men, agree with Aishah, Nick, Shivani and others - best to not even return their hello, and keep walking. When I see men in a group in any country, e.g. much-dreaded construction workers in the U.S., I high tail it out of there as fast as I can with not even a glance or hello. Have you made any friends there? Sounds like you will be staying for a bit as a teacher. Might help once you have an Indian friend or two because they can help interpret some of these signals. And as time goes by, you'll be less of a novelty item, so the giggling should get better. One can hope... Hang in there, and don't take it personally hard though it can be to do so.

Oct 10th, 2009, 22:18	#17
linkety Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Adelaide, Australia Posts: 29	I also experience this but I agree with everyone else - they're not laughing at me, it's usually an embarrassed/awkward/confused laugh I kind of like it. I prefer for people to react to me in a joyful/smiling way than anything else. I generally just laugh back and shake my head in a "whatever" kind of way.

Oct 10th, 2009, 22:55	#19
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,189	Consider that generalism objected to! (She's right... of course )

Oct 10th, 2009, 23:13	#20
Hal . . . _ _ _ . . . Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Toronto Posts: 2,302	With a bald head, pale skin and an occassionally far-too-long red beard, I get lots of laughs when traveling. In India I've been called Ali Baba more than once. In Thailand I had a group of women line up to have their photos taken with me, all of them were howling with laughter. I just play along and try not to take it personally. I've never sensed that it's mean-spirited in any way, just nervousness or delight at seing something that's not too common.

Oct 11th, 2009, 02:24	#28
abracax Mahaguru Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Canada Posts: 709	There are over a billion people in India, and at least 20% of them are quite silly. Especially the ones who have nothing better to do but stand around pretending to work. You probably look like someone they saw on TV or in a movie. __________________ tbontbtitq (Shakespeare's password)

Oct 11th, 2009, 02:43	#29
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,189	What percentage are very silly?

Oct 11th, 2009, 03:03	#30
tittooraju 20LEGEND Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Home sweet home.. "Kerala" Back from a journey of a lifetime.. Posts: 149	According to google search results,Unemployment in india is 6% whereas that in canada is 8.4%. He.. He.. He.. :-) :-) :-) __________________ Ente keralam ethra sundaram.. www.sarathkumar.blog.com

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