Stares & Attention in Delhi????

Anglo_Indian

I get a lot of uncomfortable stares wherever I go in Delhi - does anyone else have a similar experience?? I dont think I look so different but maybe its the way I dress in very fitted european clothes that get me all this unneccessary attention..lol. Or is it because I am lighter skinned than most average indians and blue eyed? But seriously when I walk into a restaurant or a shop - people just stare and dont even stop staring in some places.. I find it extremely uncomfortable and cant understand why it happens..... even when I visit oriental or african countries I do not get this sort of attention..LOL.. it really makes me nervous and uncomfortable when all eyes are watching every move I make....

Is staring part of the culture here?? Im not exxagerating this.. seriously.. I also do not like the attention people give me in a shop here..I cant even look through anything properly in a shop without a sales person following right behind me... its quite annoying and most times I just get so embarassed that I run out of the shop without buying anything at all.

The only places where I dont get any stares are in the big hotels, but even there if I go to the salon they treat me like royalty which I find very amusing... i think being welcoming and hospitable is nice but is it not a little bit over the top in india??? In many places I felt as if the people working there are like slaves.. and have an obligation to please me.

Aishah

The only way you are aware that people are staring at you is if you are looking at them too. Everyone stares a lot in India, and it is not just at you. If you go about your business, ignoring the looks, and just get on with what you want to do, you will find those stares will become nothing, and no longer annoy you.

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"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."

Anglo_Indian

I dont stare at anyone.. if i just look up and look around - its quite obvious that many are staring at me..lol... So I quickly look down again but am made to feel very self-conscious when I go out here..

Rasika

Well you have a theory there and it's easy enough to experiment with (unlike changing eye color!)

So why don't you wear less *very* fitted clothes and see. I also find less fitted clothes much more comfortable in India, and always find it difficult to get back to tighter clothes when I come back west.

I think skimpy clothes on women get attention in any big city of the world...

Aishah

You start to get 'used' to it! I get stared at all the time, it never stops and this has been going on for nearly 9 years. Don't let it bother you - do what you want to do. If you're going to buy an item, just do it. Forget about the staring. The less attention you give it, the less attention they will give you. It's amazing how 'staring' disappears into nothing like an annoyance. Many people just pass the time staring - out our way, many can't read or write and looking at something different is a hobby for them.

<cross-posted with Rasika> poster is a man, Rasika. I think your suggestion good though, just wear what everyone else is wearing and you might get less stares. Why not drop the European clothes and go into kurta and jeans or pants. That's a good look!

karuna

Me too. I understand completely where you're coming from. But one of the reasons India got under my skin was that it made me deal with stuff like that.

It is down to you to learn to ignore it. People stare, they stare at me, and Aishah, and anyone else who might yet post in this thread. Gotta face them self-consciousness demons sometime, and you can't get away from em in Delhi.

Yeah, it makes me mad too sometimes, but now really only if I'm already grumpy. My first trip I went half-nuts with it; I cringe to remember how I behaved. I ruined whole days getting angry. It gets better.

PS- it helps to re-interpret the stares as admiring. Try it! "Everyone's looking at me because I'm so damn hot!".

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Mosquitos suck.

Aishah

My first reaction years ago was exactly like yours, Karuna. But you end up making only yourself uncomfortable and not really enjoying your day. Once you're over it, ignoring the stares, getting on with what you want to do, you have a great time!

Kingstonian

Totally relate to all the posts here.

And when you have got used to it, and then you get back to the UK, you'll be walking down the street thinking "did I put my invisibility cloak on or something?"

karuna

Oh, Kingstonian, after three months travelling- the relief of being totally ignored by stony-eyed Londoners/Cardiffians!

Yes! Blank me baby! Ignore me more, you soulless oik!

Anglo_Indian

hehehe... skimpy clothes on women - lol - only problem is im a 6 feet tall, masculine and muscular Gay MALE... i'd love to meet an open minded woman (even a fag hag) to hang out with in delhi..

karuna

Hello! Fag-hag extraordinaire here. How long are you there for? We can get paranoid together.

Kingstonian

Anglo_Indian

Hi Karuna.. i'm here until end of novemeber at least.. and maybe even december. not sure as long as my work is not finished... wnat about you??

Rasika

Ah, I think I jumped to conclusions. But the suggestion of avoiding very fitted clothes still stands.

Height can be a stareable issue and there isn't anything one can do about it. I used to be called Amitabh whenever I walked on the streets - but if you are muscular they probably don't dare...

karuna

I'm flying in on the 2nd Nov, be moping about for a couple of months.

Let me just create a disposable email account to post here....