Sexual Harrassment

Luci

I have been to Egypt on numerous occasions and found the harrassment spoiled the trip for me. I dress modestly (cover my shoulders and legs) but I am curvy, got pale skin and blue eyes which I can't really hide!

I have heard sexual harrassment isn't as bad as Egypt. I would like to hear any experiences, advice and maybe words along the lines of "Leave me alone".

I'd be travelling with a male friend in a small group of people.

nycank

You do not have anything to worry about. You are in a group, and have a male companion all the time. Relax, and enjoy. Sharm-e-Sheik is a different story

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federica

Don't worry, Luci, India is much more relaxed. Especially in a group and with male company you'll be fine.

Haylo

India does have a reputation for "eve teasing" as it is rather disgustingly known in India, but I've never had any problems myself, even in Delhi.

You will get stared at a lot, especially if you're away from the usual tourist areas, but it's only curiosity and while some people find it disconcerting, do remember that people aren't being deliberately rude!

To be honest, you're more likely to be harrassed by touts, and answering them - even to say no thank you - only encourages them.

Don't worry about learning appropriate phrases for telling people who are bothering you to go away; in circumstances like that, the look on your face and the tone of voice will tell them anything they need to know, whatever language it's in...

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Luci

Thankyou!

Just in Egypt, I had a few men try to touch/grab at me and saying rude things! It is quite overwhelming to say the least! I don't mind getting stared at as I am used to it (I have dyed bright red hair). Its just men trying to put their arms around you and saying rude things I don't want to put up with.

Haylo

Heh... I want to visit Egypt too. Sounds like I'd better take the larger of my baseball bats!

Just remember that an Indian man would not DARE to put his arms around an Indian woman! Even touching an unknown woman on the arm is not permitted, so if a man starts touching you, even seemingly innocently when you're talking, make it clear that it's not welcome.

I have read on here that if anyone did act inappropriately, it's best to act totally outraged and very vocal about it, and that everyone else around you would help out, which sounds like good advice to me.

Though, if a complete stranger dared put their arms around me, it's more likely that they'd be the one needing help. Men rarely consider how *cough* vulnerable they are in that position... Remembering that should give you enough of an air of confidence for men to decide that maybe someone else would make a better target...

Anky14

India has strong laws relating to Sexual Harass. You should be okay while visiting India.

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capt_mahajan

Yes, we have these laws. Which generally don't work.

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delhiwala

If you feel threatened in anyway, as Haylo said, start shouting at the man....You will see that a large group of people will gather to thrash the guy....

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federica

Sorry, this will work only if his attempt was very very clear and other people could notice it already. My experience is that if you start shouting at them they'll behave like they had never done anything before, leaving you standing there as a stupid upset foreigner shouting around and all people around will look at you like you were crazy

Just my own limited experience, luckily I experienced not too many incidents in India, and none like the OP in Egypt.

It's better to make very clear that these acts are not desired at all, with words and action, and then just go away. I felt the guys who did it had the idea that a western woman might openly welcome their attempts, and showing them clearly (without getting too much upset) that this is not the case helps to bring their fantasies back to reality.

machadinha

Egypt (other than the Sinai, which I'd expect to be getting worse btw) has a bad reputation in this respect yes. (Not that it shouldn't be worth going, but it's just something to be aware of.)

You should hopefully find India a lot more relaxed. (As an example, one of the women and my girlfriend for a long time whose stories got me going to India in the first place had similar stories as yours about mainland Egypt. India she couldn't get enough of though, traveling there with other women or solo too. And we traveled India and the Sinai together, so I have some idea of how she does it -- very well, I must say, and taught me a thing or two.)

There will always be some difficulties, of course (for men as well, it should be added); but it doesn't stop any of the women I know going there. And then I've met others who just didn't like it, at all I might add; same for some of the men I've met, I must say. It's just not for everyone, and some (again, men as well) do indeed take the first plane home. Go and find out

(& No matter what you do, allow yourself some time to "ease into" the place; many find getting out of whatever crazy metropolis you landed in very helpful in this respect. Which doesn't mean you should aim to get rushing out of there just after landing, which can be challenging in itself; so it's a bit of a Catch-22 kind of situation. I'd say and depending on your overall travel time, generally aim to rest for a couple of days though, not expect too much of yourself and not in terms of running around to see all the sights nor of taking an immediate liking to it all -- although some arguably do --, then get moving around to discover there's more to the country than just that mad metro again, and generally settle into the "pace" of things.

It can be very rewarding, but one thing's for sure, India's not gonna change her ways for you, so you'd better be ready to accommodate her ways instead. Anyway, these latter thoughts of mine are all just general observations for any first-time visitor, nothing to do with being a woman as such.)

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Matthew Morris

Hmnnn, I think it can be fairly bad in some places. I have traveled with several women in India and have seen first hand the gropes that take place just walking down a typical street.

The worst experience was going to see a Bollywood film, and the woman I was with went to the toilet during a break, a man grabbed her in the main foyer in front of other locals and tried to drag her into the mens toilets until she fought back and got away. No one else did anything to help apparently...she was really freaked by it, he'd gone by the time I went looking for him.

In Goa, I've met a few people who have had Indian men jump out at them masturbating in front of them.

You should be very careful in Goa at New years...quite a few rapes happen there, don't walk around by yourself at night.

Also festivals where locals are drunk, we were in a taxi one time can't remember where, and we were trying to pass some type of parade/festival and there was a group of young men that seemed a bit drunk...next thing they have there arms through the taxi window grabbing for the girl and trying to open the door to get her...that was quite scary.

federica

That's a good advice. It depends on the city/area. In lonely areas avoid being alone after sunset, in city areas after 10 p.m. as a general rule.

machadinha

In Goa (and not just at New Year's), yes, it probably would be, I know such stories too, and they'd better be heeded.

In general though, I can't imagine myself having much joy in going to a place where I'd (think I) have to stay indoors after sunset, so 6-7 PM.

I'm sorry, I never get that advice. If this were the case, go to some other place I'd say. Again, no woman I know stays in come nightfall in India though; maybe they're tougher than some of us, but I don't think they'd be going if they felt they had to either. (Nor would they in Egypt, for that matter.)

As for staying out very late, save for a modicum of nightlife in the metros (doesn't typically go on incredibly late either), India generally goes to bed quite early & rises at the crack of dawn again. So it's not much of an issue; you'll just learn to adjust and it's generally not much of a night owl's country anyway. Being such as I am, you'll more likely find yourself in your room with a bottle of brandy and a book, or perhaps with some fellow hotel guests you met.

Hitting the clubs or something in again the main cities, you could do yourself a favor and move by taxi. Not because all that much is likely to happen, but hey, it's just the better idea, and the luxury will cost you nothing like it would at home.

It does merit stressing though that some tourist "hot spots" will be known as such, and so attract some unsavory characters to match, who have heard that the local tourist crowd may not always have all their wits about them either. Same as in Benidorm and Ibiza et al. I suppose.

To be honest, I don't go to Goa and such places, but as a solo male traveler at least I've found Indian streets mostly eerie after say midnight because there's just absolutely no one around; apparently everyone to sleep, indeed. While I'm not saying cast all caution to the wind, in the average town at least the chance of anything actually happening to you would seem to me to be very slim indeed; there's just no one to do it to you. (And if anyone were to notice, they're not gonna let it happen either.)

I'll concede though it may matter some what kind of places or areas you visit.

federica

I didn't say she should stay indoors, just said she should avoid being out alone in lonely areas. after sunset when it's dark. It's different for a woman than for a man

I know many They used to call me crazy as I was not scared