‘Photo please’ extortionists

amyl

Dear Lotus,

I am not being sexist here. I can simply put one word for my views about women traveling alone - "Vulnerability". As I said they ARE more vulnerable than lonely men taking such risks.

And hey I think I shud have been more voluble in noticing your wiseness. The measures you mentioned you take while traveling are indeed essential. I would say, for both women and men. And this aptitude is what took you out of that situation..safe n sound albeit a bit shaken.

o SICK!!!!!

I wanted to mention such incidents but thot it wud be a little weird for some readers. I know what kind of ppl are around and that really dreads me. I often hear them commenting about some fellow female passengers with all kinds of such sh**y intentions and then I wonder......when its already in their minds its just a matter of the smallest opportunity available that these devils will pound upon that poor soul. And this is not good! And you know what.....in a big city like Delhi, Mumbai, Pune it will only take some bollywood-hero-like-real-character to come and save the victim from these guys. There are more onlookers than there are ppl who have the slightest daring to come forward for help.

Oh damn!! Sometime I think a lot further but it makes me feel very uneasy to think of my sisters, mom, and close females traveling alone among such ppl.

EDIT:
Ironically, I also know many incidents where females were treated with utmost respect and were helped out from some situations. All sorts of ppl we come across.

and about being cowardice....ummm well......I have one mantra for myself to balance the urge for adventure and not being a coward....I always take calculated risks. This mantra has been going good so far as I have never goofed up in making that calculation

This is what I call 'taking calculated risks' , Cheers!

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a'mar kono chinta nei

amyl

Naah! Its not, I know.

Oh Is it?! Ok let me remove my this comment from the above post. btw I will not totally deny if someone says I am sexist

...ok removed.

amyl

Lest you guys take me wrong on the word "sexist"....
For me sexist is "a person who believes women have certain limits......thats it!" . I DO respect women. and also, FREEDOM I promote FOR ALL.

Hope am not threatened by the pro-feminist gang here if ever they took me wrong

sirensongs

I've been travelling alone since I was 16. Most Western women are raised with a great deal of autonomy and it never occurs to us to not go most places alone. There are notable exceptions; for instance, a mall parking lot at night is a known danger. For the most part, Indian men are too freaked out at seeing a woman alone to know what to do even if they did want to cause trouble.

Your notions of Bihar are exaggerated; it's really not safe after dark, I think; or alone in very isolated places. And, I was not travelling alone in rural Bihar (unless you count the train from Hajipur to Patna - 2 hours crammed into a 2nd class car with literally hundreds of others, includinga nursing mom!). No, I was in the company of the all-important male! whose presence did not stop gangs of youths from approaching the car.

Thousands of Buddhist tourists from every imaginable nation come every year to Bihar, mostly in safety. You might want to reconsider,at least to see BodhGaya, which is truly fantastic and worth coming for.

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"Why do people go to India to find themselves? India is where you go to lose yourself."
Feringhee: The India Diaries

capt_mahajan

amyl, relax.. they can't kill you with a keyboard.. unless they beat you with it, I guess

amyl

hmmm...getting off topic......so my final words on this off-topic

rather for a person alone. Yes they fail to absorb the notion of a lonely traveler. I am not as seasoned a traveler as some of you are but wherever I had been be......alone....goddamn! at every friendly interaction with locals n other travelers I have to face this question "Why alone???". I have no answer they can understand.

And I do not think my view about Bihar is a hyperbole. Albeit some places are good and safe and may be worth visiting....BUT probably one has to pass thru such gangs and looters' area to reach such places, ain't it?


Thanks to the Almighty...no pro-feminist IMers are here in Singapore. Hush!!! Jaan bachi lakho paye!

Nick-H

Amyl, I think it can be fairly said that a lone woman in some of these situations is more likely to be a target of unwanted and possibly even dangerous attention.

It is necessary to choose the words carefully.

Talk about the danger, not the woman --- is my advice!

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Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

Sama

poor amyl! I knew what you were talking about, but thought your choice of words could have been a tad better!

I would have jumped in with some feminist thoughts, but I restrained myself because I knew who would!

I plan on traveling to India -- solo -- into my old age. To me, life ain't worth living unless you're "pushing the limits" to some extent...
I am more fearless than many women I know, but traveling solo is all about using common sense and taking calculated risks....

__________________
My India, 2005-2008
BE THE REVOLUTION

robotvoice

i agree with sirensongs, it would be a shame to miss gaya because of this fear. i'm not trying to say bihar is the safest place, but i met with several lone travelling women there and i don't think they took a helicopter into the state! if it is a real concern than you can easily find a travel partner while in india.

amyl

Ok guys...point taken.



On the original subject of this thread....I think n have concluded that, It would be best to NEVER take fotos of ppl at touristic places......and as many have suggusted better to ask permission if u find some interesting subject. I have been politely denied quite a number of times when I asked some Himachal old ladies who were in this typical attire.....wanted one for their this attire. And at vasisht I was kinda rudely stopped from taking a foto of that 'Sadhu' resting place inside the hot-spring-temple. One Sadhu got sooo irked at it being captured......"hey hey..stop....do not take fotos...what's the use...you are gonna throw the foto of a Sadhu in the dustbin in the end..stop...go away"
Guess it was not going good with his Chilim or meditation that morning so was off-mood

and in Goa...along the road at a very nice secluded road I saw some stone workers in the hills...called over a cute kid to pose....yes...Mr Hunmanta....put my bag on his back n asked to pose. He did a good job in hiding his broken teeth tho . I gave him 10 bucks for I had no chocolates then...and O man....he was soooooooo jubilant ... he jumped off the road went running to his mom say 100m from the road in the hills....holding the two coins up in his hands...Felt good to see his happiness. But then seeing this....his dad/granddad who was standing beside me started asking money for himself ...I said no and went off.

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sirensongs

Amyl, I think (and hope) your comments were intended in a caring, protective manner; rather than intending to inhibit anyone 's freedom.

There are (sadly, still) dangers for ethnic minorities travelling in rural America, too. People must take precautions, but the problem lies with the racism/sexism, not the travellers.

BACK ON TOPIC: while living in Pune, I photographed lots of local people with their permission and cooperation. I then embarked on a goodwill campaign to deliver colour prints to the people involved as thank yous. Most of them were very happy, but imagine my surprise when a couple (not beggars BTW) demanded that I not only take their portrait and hand-deliver a copy, but pay them for it! Needless to say I refused. Wish I could have gotten paid (or even gotten prints) of the hundreds of people who photographed me in my salad days....

capt_mahajan

Absolutely and completely.

And if other bystanders would intervene, disgusting behaviour (as the one with LB on the rickshaw) would stop. I talk from (sometimes painful, but not always !) experience.

The silent majority contributes to the problem.

amyl

I strongly support FREEDOM. But yes I DO take away some freedom from my close ones if I feel they cannot handle certain situations or come out safe from possible eventualities...for I believe I know better.

BTW about Bodhgaya.....Yes I have a fascination for this place eversince I first learned it in my school...in that first chapter about Budhha. I still remember...me thinking about the specialness of this place - Buddha meditated. May be at some point I WILL "push my limits" and go there.

Goodness!! I would have surely bursted into a good laughter at their this demand. I take fotos OF YOU on YOUR demand, I take the prints, I hand them over to you, and later I PAY YOU!!!! You gone nuts, gentleman??!!


But yea.....sending prints to some good ppl is a very good practice. I try to do that as far as possible. But do not always manage. The fotos of that cute boy at Leh guesthouse are still with me...taken 2 years back. He must have started walking and talking by now. But did manage to send some to Manali and Sissu and last week to Vengurla....o man....that daughter of the guesthouse owner there in Vengurla is soooo beautiful. ....crush....I really liked her simplicity n politeness. N she is kinda photogenic too. Her smile while bidding me goodbye the next morning really made my cycling a lot easier the whole day on the ups and downs towards Goa border

sirensongs

Gettin' off topic again - but! - if it's just BGaya you want to see you will be far from alone; thousands arrive there internationally every single week. I will post a thread in the Bihar (Other Places) forum as we are already way Off Topic here. BGaya is definitely worth going through Bihar for - just take a few precautions.

lotus blossom

actually, the first cycle wallah simply, laughed, as did the other guy on the bicycle who was with the creep who yelled it out. that gang mentality is unnerving; while i knew that there were dozens of people watching the abusive woman assaulting me, no one dared intervene. what about that poor indian woman who was molested on ny's eve by over 70 men while no one did anything to stop it

however, there have been a few times where indian men have told pestering people to leave me alone.

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Not all who wander are lost