Is this what Indian men REALLY think about foreign women?

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#1 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:01
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So I ended up in a bad situation with a guy who is actually from a prestigious ashram and he groped me and attempted to climb into my bed three times in one night. When I got angry at him he was SHOCKED!! that I was upset and his excuses were that he has brahmacharya and can't get it up therefore it's ok for him to touch whatever and also that he "knows" in my country I let male friends massage and touch me like that and that women in my country have sex constantly, so why would I be mad at him for treating me the same way men in my country treat me normally. WTF REALLY???? Do men in India actually think that in Western countries men just randomly grope women and it's all ok???? I was really really shocked when he said that. At first I just thought that he's been in the ashram so long he's just totally clueless about women, but when he started talking about how I let men do that to me all the time... well let's just say he's lucky I didn't have any knives with me or else he'd have permanent irreversible brahmacharya.
#2 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:04
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Glad your OK PixieOakland! Sounds like a really horrible experience.
#3 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:08
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Is this what foreign women REALLY think about Indian men? Do foreign women in India actually think that all Indian men just randomly grope women and the men think that it's all ok????

He knew very well that what he was doing was wrong.
#4 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:10
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I just looked up this term 'brahmacharya' and apparently it means celibacy when unmarried, and fidelity when married. If this guy has to be celibate then what's he doing even attempting to get into anyone's bed? Sounds to me like he knew exactly what he was doing and is nothing but a creep!
#5 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:22
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I've found that the vast majority of guys in India are very respectful about women's privacy and safety, but like seriously, do guys think that in Western countries we're all just having sex in the streets or something???? This is not the first time I've heard a guy in India say something about Western women having sex constantly.
#6 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:22
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#6
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Originally Posted by PixieOakland View Post So I ended up in a bad situation with a guy who is actually from a prestigious ashram and he groped me and attempted to climb into my bed three times in one night.
Were you sharing a room/hut with him in his ashram ? Would you not throw a guy out after the first time, and lock the door ? IS he your spiritual guru ?
#7 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:25
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Pixie. I am glad that you are safe and you are understandably angered. However, tarring all men, Indian or otherwise, with the same pervo brush is unfair. There are millions of men in India and the perverts are a small minority. The small minority make up a large number and you were unlucky to encounter one.
#8 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:27
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#8
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Originally Posted by nycank View Post Were you sharing a room/hut with him in his ashram ? Would you not throw a guy out after the first time, and lock the door ? IS he your spiritual guru ?
No, and this is the really terrible part, he lied at a Brahmin caste only hotel and said that we were married. I thought it was a terrible idea but it was after dark and I trusted him enough to stay and had him drag his bed into the other room.
#9 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:29
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You should have called the police.
#10 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:31
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Originally Posted by ViShVa View Post You should have called the police.
Do the police actually do anything for this type of situation?
#11 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:35
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Depends on where you were. For sure it will give him enough of a fright for him to think twice the second time. Bombay police would have thrashed him first, then asked him questions.

Motto, stay safe. Don't check in as a spouse unless you totally trust the other. Glad you're safe.
#12 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:36
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#12
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Originally Posted by PixieOakland View Post No, and this is the really terrible part, he lied at a Brahmin caste only hotel and said that we were married. I thought it was a terrible idea but it was after dark and I trusted him enough to stay and had him drag his bed into the other room.
I'm totally confused ! The keywords: prestigious ashram, brahmin caste hotel, him and you.

Was this some tour you were at ? How and where does going at night to a hotel fit in ? Are you classmates ?
#13 Jan 7th, 2015, 23:53
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#13
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Originally Posted by nycank View Post I'm totally confused ! The keywords: prestigious ashram, brahmin caste hotel, him and you.

Was this some tour you were at ? How and where does going at night to a hotel fit in ? Are you classmates ?
He's someone I know from previous trips to India. He got some time away from his ashram and invited me to visit temples with him because I had been caring for a sick friend who died and I wanted a nice peaceful quiet spiritual vacation. The bus arrived late in the day.

And thank you Vishva and everyone for your concern. I got a lot of help and support from the host family here.
#14 Jan 8th, 2015, 00:02
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#14
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Originally Posted by ViShVa View Post Depends on where you were.
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Originally Posted by PixieOakland View Post I got a lot of help and support from the host family here.
You can still file a complaint against him, if it was not too long ago !
#15 Jan 8th, 2015, 00:04
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I strongly suspect that a large section of society does have that opinion of foreign countries. These are the people who harp on "Indian values" being "corrupted" by the "West" all the time, and file court cases seeking bans on... well, everything. I bet that creep is right now bragging about his "conquest" while casting you into hell for leading him into temptation.
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