groping incidents - Rajasthan

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#1 Mar 10th, 2010, 23:48
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Just returned from a 5 week trip to India with the hubby and unfortunately had TWO instances of being groped. Please note (before you start judging about clothing, time of day, location etc) that both of these incidents occurred in BROAD DAYLIGHT in busy roads with my husband standing right beside me. One incident was in Johdpur. We had just left our hotel, and were stopped at an intersection deciding which way to go. As we were talking, an old (senior) man grabbed my backside as he walked by behind me. I realized what had happened and yelled out - surprise, surprise - none of the (MANY) locals around even reacted.

Onto the next one. This time in Bikaner - were in the old town, waiting to cross a busy street to an ATM. Another OLD man came by and grabbed me as he passed. I made a big fuss this time as well, but none of the people (tons around) even reacted. My husband attempted to get the attention of a nearby policeman, who flatly ignored him.

Just a caution. I always dressed extremely conservatively (long sleeves/pants or salwar/kameez), was with a male companion, in broad daylight, on city streets. These incidents definitely left a bad taste in my mouth about India. In particular, the fact that no one around even seemed to care that it happened. They can just get away with it. Also note that I spoke out in Punjabi, in simple terms which any Hindi speaker could understand. Language was not an issue.

Likely not going back, at least to the north. We did have a lovely (and unmolested) time in the south.
#2 Mar 11th, 2010, 00:00
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Quote:
Please note...
At least I never comment on clothing etc.

Makes me real angry, the way this kind of thing goes on.

The South is not always hassle free, btw, just much better.
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#3 Mar 11th, 2010, 00:04
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Couldn't your husband have given him a smack? I would have grabbed him right by the collar, pulled him in tight & twisted his ear until he gasped 'chacha chacha chacha' - especially if it was such a blatant, obvious, high noon affair. The last thing I'd be looking for would be an Indian policeman (as the offender slips way unchallenged).
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#4 Mar 11th, 2010, 00:08
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Sorry for your bad luck. Always upsetting to feel violated in any way. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often just because of the crowds. I've never been groped in India (well, inappropriately brushed against). I was groped in Istanbul when I was younger and wearing a big down jacket & jeans (it was winter)! I was shocked into speechlessness. All they got was a handful of down.

I didn't hold it against Istanbul. Hopefully you won't hold it against Rajasthan (where I've never had a problem other than staring).

I'm not sure what you expected the police to do apart from say they were sorry. I doubt they would have found the old guy and if they did, what would they do? I have found that in India people tend to not want to get in involved with a problem--other than staring. I think life is too complicated for them to begin with and no one willingly puts themselves into any situation involving police. I suppose the fact that they can just get away with it makes it disturbing so it's lucky it happens so rarely. You've really been unlucky!!
#5 Mar 11th, 2010, 00:11
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Once I made a fuss, the locals didn't look all that friendly. There weren't too many tourists around, and we were afraid of the consequences of getting into an altercation (e.g. legal, physical danger). Seeing a Caucasian man beating an old Indian man would not have gone over well with the crowd there I think. BTW I am of Indian origin (both parents) but born in Canada...so I'm not really trying to make this a racial thing, just that we were OBVIOUSLY tourists, and in a hostile environment.
#6 Mar 11th, 2010, 00:15
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I don't think it's either a racial or tourist problem. Eve teasing is a national problem.

I think these old guys probably have nothing to do and think because they are old they can just give into their senile impulses!
#7 Mar 11th, 2010, 00:16
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Originally Posted by toronto_13 View Post Once I made a fuss, the locals didn't look all that friendly. There weren't too many tourists around, and we were afraid of the consequences of getting into an altercation (e.g. legal, physical danger). Seeing a Caucasian man beating an old Indian man would not have gone over well with the crowd there I think.
You don't have to beat him, just teach him a lesson that will make him think twice about doing it to the 'next one' he happens to pass by. Trust me - the average Indian will side with irate goras who feel they've been violated ...... they know right from wrong - by body language(s) alone!
#8 Mar 11th, 2010, 00:27
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Originally Posted by camelgirl View Post I'm not sure what you expected the police to do apart from say they were sorry...
I do know of one instance in which the young guys involved were apprehended and given a good beating by the police. It was actually quite distressing for the woman involved.
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#9 Mar 11th, 2010, 01:01
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#9
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Originally Posted by toronto_13 View Post Please note (before you start judging about clothing, time of day, location etc)
i have posted before [along with nayan - cant remember which thread ]...
more often than not, its got nothing to do with whatever you're wearing
personally - if india is supposedly surging ahead globally in whatever, it's time to raise the benchmark a tad in social behaviour.
clothing is irrelevant to warrant obnoxious behaviour... absolutely no justification.


Quote:
Originally Posted by capt_mahajan View Post The South is not always hassle free, btw, just much better.
nah - the south has their share of bachchuda's and khokonda's [the neighbourhood punks]...
only difference being - most non-locals dont understand the language
the physical "abuse" is just as prevalent - just that indian women dont talk about it, no matter how hep and happening they are.

for tourists - YMMV.



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#10 Mar 11th, 2010, 01:41
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I do not support misbehaviour towards anyone, be it tourists or local people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brishti View Post if india is supposedly surging ahead globally in whatever, it's time to raise the benchmark a tad in social behaviour.
India surging ahead globally has to relation to improvement of social behaviour. The biggest economies have even worse social behaviour, even towards children! In the US, parents cannot leave children alone in malls, for fear of them being molested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brishti View Post clothing is irrelevant to warrant obnoxious behaviour...
I agree clothing has no role to play in inappropriate behaviour, but in all practicality provocative clothing does invite trouble. That is why it is always advisable for women to wear decent clothes and cover themselves adequately when travelling.

There will be louts in every place in the world, but let us be careful as much as possible when in crowds. If faced by such a situation, protest loudly and if possible, involve the locals in teaching the person a lesson. But, there is no point in saying the place itself does not warrant coming back.
#11 Mar 11th, 2010, 01:47
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#11
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Originally Posted by toronto_13 View Post Likely not going back, at least to the north. We did have a lovely (and unmolested) time in the south.
Sorry to hear about that but don't let the actions of an individual stop you enjoying visiting that you want to visit. You did nothing wrong and it's unlikely it will happen again.

Doing something about it is always a difficult call. I didn't do anything about an incident in Pushkar at the time but did afterwards by email. (If it's to be believed) the hotel manager apparently beat up the lad in question and sent him packing. I only wanted to warn the hotel.
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#12 Mar 11th, 2010, 01:50
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Originally Posted by funny_in View Post In the US, parents cannot leave children alone in malls, for fear of them being molested.
Only in the US? Is India totaly exempt from child abuse be it be sex trade or paedophilia? I should think leaving a small child alone in public places is poor parenting anywhere in the world.
#13 Mar 11th, 2010, 01:53
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Originally Posted by PeakXV View Post Only in the US? Is India totaly exempt from child abuse be it be sex trade or paedophilia? I should think leaving a small child alone in public places is poor parenting anywhere in the world.
It's okay if they're padlocked though, isn't it?
#14 Mar 11th, 2010, 01:55
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Originally Posted by funny_in View Post The biggest economies have even worse social behaviour, even towards children! In the US, parents cannot leave children alone in malls, for fear of them being molested.
all this data is quite irrelevant to the one being molested, aint it ?
comparisons are null and void.


true, economic development do not = social behaviour.
the reason i bought up them economics is - for them who keep flying the jhanda on the dandaa [flag]
also true - no country can take a sanctimonious stand on this...



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#15 Mar 11th, 2010, 01:59
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#15
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Originally Posted by brishti View Post for them who keep flying the jhanda on the dandaa [flag]

:brishti
C'mon now ! Don't be coy ! What you actually wanted to say was : P**e debo d***** isn't it ?
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