Gokarna Shop Keeper Warning

furlong · Apr 17th, 2006, 21:43

just another Kashmiri shopkeeper?

Merchant · Apr 17th, 2006, 21:53

Quote:

We both think that it might be advisable to warn the local police at the foreign tourist arrival check in point where you log in before anyone gets really hurt

It's hard to see what crime has been committed. A guy hits on a girl--not a crime.

wandering_kat · Apr 17th, 2006, 22:20

I've been "friendly" with him for the last two seasons. I've also heard a story about him pulling moves on a girl, so have always kept him at arm's length, but he's never tried anything on me (tho he did tell me how much he fancied a blonde friend of mine, so maybe my dark hair saved me?!). The night i had dinner at his house, i was with a few others, so all was safe.
Ya, i think he's a lonely guy and fancies himself as a bit of a ladies' man; i also think he's interesting to talk to provided you're streetsmart and not too trusting (which goes without saying for most female travellers, i assume). I'm by no means trying to defend his actions - what's described in this thread sounds atrocious and i'm sure the warning will be useful to many people. It makes me sad to hear the story tho, because i wanted to believe he was a good guy, despite what i'd heard before.....

kayozz · Apr 18th, 2006, 20:05

Yeah just keep him at arms length... what a creep eh? In a way it's a bit of a relief that it's not just us he tried it with... he must be lonely to try and tell girls that they 'shouldn't be with their boyfriends'.... Just be aware!!!

kayozz · Apr 18th, 2006, 20:10

MERCHANT: It's not just a case of 'a guy hitting on a girl'... it's a case of threatening, perverted behaviour. He insulted me, threatened me, told me he had a gun, tried to touch my g/f in front of me... Made us feel intimidated... I think he's got a screw loose somewhere.

LuAnnandJawahar · Apr 18th, 2006, 21:51

Apparently he's found something that works for him.
Just curious: though the OP may not have meant it literally, why one would need "an excuse to leave" after someone was inappropriate?

In our experience, perhaps in an effort to not be perceived as The Ugly Foreigner, tourists sometimes let people get away with all kinds of behaviour that a resident of India would not tolerate for one second. As soon as we try to make a generalization about Indians, someone will contradict us, but......if your are a man, you simply do not touch a woman who is not your wife. In some cases, even initiating a conversation would be considered an affront.

Example: If you are a female tourist and some man (or teenage boy) wants to have his picture with you and you consent and he puts his arm around you to pose--that is outrageous behaviour (and he knows it!) and should not be tolerated. Though it might not seem unusual to the female tourist, it is really really inappropriate and we wish that female tourists would not accept it: it leads to further attempts at familiarity with further femal tourists!

BTW the average shop keeper/desk clerk/taxi driver is not a Reiki practitioner/massage therapist/palm reader.

cyberhippie · Apr 18th, 2006, 21:58

Quote:

Example: If you are a female tourist and some man (or teenage boy) wants to have his picture with you and you consent and he puts his arm around you to pose--that is outrageous behaviour (and he knows it!) and should not be tolerated. Though it might not seem unusual to the female tourist, it is really really inappropriate and we wish that female tourists would not accept it

Very good point on the collision of cultures!!

Kanbe · Apr 19th, 2006, 04:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Namaste India Tours

Example: If you are a female tourist and some man (or teenage boy) wants to have his picture with you and you consent and he puts his arm around you to pose--that is outrageous behaviour (and he knows it!) and should not be tolerated. Though it might not seem unusual to the female tourist, it is really really inappropriate and we wish that female tourists would not accept it: it leads to further attempts at familiarity with further femal tourists!

Im guilty of this - in fact, a group of boys took in turn taking a photo with me in Hampi. I was a bit shocked to do anything but just stand. I will be more proactive next time and firmly state my boundaries. in hindsight, this kind of behavior only reinforces the image that foreign women are 'easy'...

Sama · Apr 19th, 2006, 04:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Namaste India Tours

In our experience, perhaps in an effort to not be perceived as The Ugly Foreigner, tourists sometimes let people get away with all kinds of behaviour that a resident of India would not tolerate for one second

During my second trip, I found that I did not tolerate a number of things that I tolerated on my first trip. And this time around I noticed (like on a city bus tour of Madurai that made for a very amusing afternoon) that many times Indians are the first ones to complain loudly about something or the first ones to try to cut a deal with a vendor....forget about tourist haggling, I learned some lessons on this trip about the art of the deal....

Apr 17th, 2006, 22:20	#18
wandering_kat All India Permit Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Cape Town Posts: 342	I've been "friendly" with him for the last two seasons. I've also heard a story about him pulling moves on a girl, so have always kept him at arm's length, but he's never tried anything on me (tho he did tell me how much he fancied a blonde friend of mine, so maybe my dark hair saved me?!). The night i had dinner at his house, i was with a few others, so all was safe. Ya, i think he's a lonely guy and fancies himself as a bit of a ladies' man; i also think he's interesting to talk to provided you're streetsmart and not too trusting (which goes without saying for most female travellers, i assume). I'm by no means trying to defend his actions - what's described in this thread sounds atrocious and i'm sure the warning will be useful to many people. It makes me sad to hear the story tho, because i wanted to believe he was a good guy, despite what i'd heard before..... __________________ *Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma*

Apr 18th, 2006, 21:51	#21
LuAnnandJawahar Maha Guru Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Delhi/U.S. Posts: 664	Apparently he's found something that works for him. Just curious: though the OP may not have meant it literally, why one would need "an excuse to leave" after someone was inappropriate? In our experience, perhaps in an effort to not be perceived as The Ugly Foreigner, tourists sometimes let people get away with all kinds of behaviour that a resident of India would not tolerate for one second. As soon as we try to make a generalization about Indians, someone will contradict us, but......if your are a man, you simply do not touch a woman who is not your wife. In some cases, even initiating a conversation would be considered an affront. Example: If you are a female tourist and some man (or teenage boy) wants to have his picture with you and you consent and he puts his arm around you to pose--that is outrageous behaviour (and he knows it!) and should not be tolerated. Though it might not seem unusual to the female tourist, it is really really inappropriate and we wish that female tourists would not accept it: it leads to further attempts at familiarity with further femal tourists! BTW the average shop keeper/desk clerk/taxi driver is not a Reiki practitioner/massage therapist/palm reader. __________________ Reject violence.

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Apr 17th, 2006, 21:43	#16
furlong Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: europe Posts: 20	just another Kashmiri shopkeeper?

Apr 18th, 2006, 20:05	#19
kayozz Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: England Posts: 83	Yeah just keep him at arms length... what a creep eh? In a way it's a bit of a relief that it's not just us he tried it with... he must be lonely to try and tell girls that they 'shouldn't be with their boyfriends'.... Just be aware!!!

Apr 18th, 2006, 20:10	#20
kayozz Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: England Posts: 83	MERCHANT: It's not just a case of 'a guy hitting on a girl'... it's a case of threatening, perverted behaviour. He insulted me, threatened me, told me he had a gun, tried to touch my g/f in front of me... Made us feel intimidated... I think he's got a screw loose somewhere.

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