Children hitting and touching me

Digital Drifter · Oct 27th, 2009, 23:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

Hey... Hands off my cats!

It's a given, that cats whether domesticated or feral, will depopulate the neighbourhood of small mammals. Even if the cat is well fed and taken care of.

Sport.

While I hugely love cats, I dont keep them as pets. But I do feed the feral ones.

Nick-H · Oct 27th, 2009, 23:58

Small mammals is strictly spectator sport to our cats. Regrettably, they have zero impact on the rat population. However, they have reduced the lizard population substantially, and, occasionally, they pluck up courage to take on... a butterfly.

By the way, I don't keep them as pets either: they keep me.

You know the old saying? Dogs have masters; Cats have staff.

newislander · Nov 6th, 2009, 11:42

I can't get to the end of this thread without responding. What is it with people here trying to make excuses for the kids and blaming the woman who is the victim of hits ratbaggery. I doubt the parents are teaching their kids this. Kids are like this. Kids like to tease people. Its nasty and its naughty. But goodnesss knows I don't know what you can do about it. You are going to be feel bad whatever you do.

I guess you might as well turn your school marm charm on them. I bet they will stop this once they see you round a lot more often unless, that is, they decide they like taunting you because its gets a reaction.

I reckon that's what they are after actually, a reaction.

I had a similar thing in Delhi once. thank god it was only once. I was riding my bike back to the Tibettan Quarter and all of a sudden I felt a thud in my back. These kids had thrown a balloon of water at me and they got their mark. I just rode on because I was so shocked and it took a moment to register what had happened. Luckily being wet wasn't a big deal. It was hot and I was almost back at my hotel.

wonderwomanusa · Nov 6th, 2009, 12:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindsay

... until one day when I was out with an Indian friend. They started in on me as usual, one of them actually scratched some skin off my wrist! My friend hauled back and slapped the girl who had clawed me. And after that, they left me alone, even when I was out by myself.

Not recommending this approach, of course!

Those children would not touch an Indian adult, and they only dare to touch foreigners because they think we don't know any better. In fact, I have slapped a few of those beggar children in Kolkate and will do it again if they touch me.

Sometimes, to teach manners, you have to first get their attention.

Brisso · Nov 6th, 2009, 12:33

Often just a very inept and slightly naughty way of getting the attention of what they (usually shyly) perceive as a strange being. Kids here do it too. When its nasty or dangerous, fight back.

dzibead · Nov 6th, 2009, 13:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gelsomina

It could very well be that as a foreigner I'm somehow not viewed as human by these kids, therefor the usual respect they would have for adults goes by the wayside.

I suspect this is a factor. Even if they aren't exactly viewing you as "not human", you are at least "not in their world," so their behavior apparently isn't constrained by the same rules that would normally apply to their dealings with adults.

Quote:

Originally Posted by newislander

I can't get to the end of this thread without responding. What is it with people here trying to make excuses for the kids and blaming the woman who is the victim of hits ratbaggery.

This was my reaction, too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wonderwomanusa

Those children would not touch an Indian adult, and they only dare to touch foreigners because they think we don't know any better. In fact, I have slapped a few of those beggar children in Kolkate and will do it again if they touch me.

Sometimes, to teach manners, you have to first get their attention.

This kind of behavior by kids isn't charming or cute. It's bratty and obnoxious. In his book about the two years he lived in a provincial town in Western China, Peter Hessler described a similar experience with kids behavning badly. He finally got so fed up after one of them shot him in the back with a pellet gun that he rounded on the kid, snatched the gun from him and marched off. The kid was totally stunned and started wailing, but Hessler was unfazed. Hopefully the kid learned his lesson.

Wildhorse · Nov 6th, 2009, 15:16

I agree with newislander, wonderwoman, and dzibead.

What the OP talks about has happened to me several times over the years, in various places. I was just walking down the road, minding my own business, when children started grabbing me and hitting me. Junagadh in Gujarat was by far the worst but, luckily, a distinguished local man came to my help.

I have always felt like slapping such bratty kids but have never dared to do so because I feared that I would have a crowd of furious adults attacking me within seconds for slapping one of theirs.

It has also happened to me twice that children begged me for gifts, and when I didn't give them anything they became extremely aggressive and started throwing stones at me and, on one occasion, made a dog chase me. Both situations were very dangerous and I was actually frightened to death. Luckily, I escaped without injury.

Nick-H · Nov 6th, 2009, 15:35

Me too!

Whilst one does still encounter an innocence that seems to have been long-since lost in "western" countries, the big-eyed sweeties of the photographs should not make people think that all Indian children are angels. They are certainly not.

There is, however, more of an acceptance of authority than one might find in some of their western cousins. One is less likely to encounter the "What are you going to do about it? You can't touch me and you know it" response, because Indian children do still get beaten, and that of course, is a whole other topic. The child I shouted at last week, for catapulting birds, dropped her weapon and ran away. Not sure that I would have done the same in my old London suburb, as probably the weapon would have been turned on me.

I wouldn't recommend hitting a child, though, as the parents and familly and friends may well not listen to your reasoning, even if they are able to understand it.

On the other side of the coin, I still, mostly, find a gathering of Indian children, even teenagers, to be a less threatening experience than the London equivalent.

Well... I guess I don't recommend hitting children for all sorts of good reasons --- as I said, a whole other topic.

namaste_cat · Nov 6th, 2009, 21:33

Agree with Wildhorse, Nick, newislander, wonderwoman, and dzibead. My sympathies lie with the OP and not the brats in question.

My husband and I are quite strict with our kids, and I am with my pupils as well so when I see children misbehaving anywhere not just in India, I get quite annoyed.

I'm not above smacking a kid if they behave in a bratty manner. I wouldn't do it unless physically provoked, and thankfully no child has ever thrown anything at me, but there is absolutely no excuse for any sort of physical attacks or aggression.

I don't know why the poor OP has had these experiences, and feel for her. Besides reacting in anger w/ the object thrown right back in their general direction, not sure what I'd do.

capt_mahajan · Nov 6th, 2009, 21:44

More difficult for a foreigner, I guess. I would whack the kids. Not hard enough to injure, but hard enough to hurt. (I sometimes whack stray teenagers in the vicinity for deliberately offensive behaviour)

Those Rajasthani kids know better. Doubt if their parents are telling them to do this. Kids in groups can sometimes behave like pack hyenas.

PeakXV · Nov 6th, 2009, 22:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by newislander

I doubt the parents are teaching their kids this. Kids are like this.

Maybe yes maybe no. There are alot of 'employed' street kids that are extremely brazen. The poo-on-the-shoe appliers & 'baby beggers' are two that come to mind. I had one little girl of about 5 years that use to come over & try to stick her hand in my pocket every time I crossed her office .... I mean road intersection.

These cocky little kids are 'coached' by somebody adult (dunno if it's their parents, goondas, entrepreneurs or a combination of all parties) and at some point must encourage or compel other observing children to take dares that they otherwise wouldn't ...... monkey see, monkey do is a universal habit.

Gelsomina · Nov 12th, 2009, 08:17

Thank you all for the support! Of the children who have hit/touched me, I only think one pair of kids might have been "professionals" (i.e. possibly looking for a pick-pocket opportunity) and those were the boys in front of the palace in Jodhpur. I certainly don't want to hit any children, but grabbing them by the wrist, at least for the smaller ones, and giving them a good shake might be a solution. And learning how to say in Hindi "would you hit/touch your aunty/mother/teacher/a policewoman like that?!" then don't do it to me!"
I only hope that the parents of these children become aware of their little darlings' behavior and how inappropriate and ill-mannered it is, and I hope the foreigners who think it's 'cute' will stop encouraging it by handing out trinkets and sweets!!

Nov 6th, 2009, 21:44	#40
capt_mahajan Infidel Sufi Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: styx Posts: 13,608	More difficult for a foreigner, I guess. I would whack the kids. Not hard enough to injure, but hard enough to hurt. (I sometimes whack stray teenagers in the vicinity for deliberately offensive behaviour) Those Rajasthani kids know better. Doubt if their parents are telling them to do this. Kids in groups can sometimes behave like pack hyenas. __________________ . Outside the machine

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Oct 27th, 2009, 23:58	#32
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,225	Small mammals is strictly spectator sport to our cats. Regrettably, they have zero impact on the rat population. However, they have reduced the lizard population substantially, and, occasionally, they pluck up courage to take on... a butterfly. By the way, I don't keep them as pets either: they keep me. You know the old saying? Dogs have masters; Cats have staff.

Nov 6th, 2009, 11:42	#33
newislander Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 67	I can't get to the end of this thread without responding. What is it with people here trying to make excuses for the kids and blaming the woman who is the victim of hits ratbaggery. I doubt the parents are teaching their kids this. Kids are like this. Kids like to tease people. Its nasty and its naughty. But goodnesss knows I don't know what you can do about it. You are going to be feel bad whatever you do. I guess you might as well turn your school marm charm on them. I bet they will stop this once they see you round a lot more often unless, that is, they decide they like taunting you because its gets a reaction. I reckon that's what they are after actually, a reaction. I had a similar thing in Delhi once. thank god it was only once. I was riding my bike back to the Tibettan Quarter and all of a sudden I felt a thud in my back. These kids had thrown a balloon of water at me and they got their mark. I just rode on because I was so shocked and it took a moment to register what had happened. Luckily being wet wasn't a big deal. It was hot and I was almost back at my hotel.

Nov 6th, 2009, 12:33	#35
Brisso Specialist muddler Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Brisbane Posts: 1,084	Often just a very inept and slightly naughty way of getting the attention of what they (usually shyly) perceive as a strange being. Kids here do it too. When its nasty or dangerous, fight back.

Nov 6th, 2009, 15:16	#37
Wildhorse In search of greener pastures Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Here, there, and everywhere Posts: 310	I agree with newislander, wonderwoman, and dzibead. What the OP talks about has happened to me several times over the years, in various places. I was just walking down the road, minding my own business, when children started grabbing me and hitting me. Junagadh in Gujarat was by far the worst but, luckily, a distinguished local man came to my help. I have always felt like slapping such bratty kids but have never dared to do so because I feared that I would have a crowd of furious adults attacking me within seconds for slapping one of theirs. It has also happened to me twice that children begged me for gifts, and when I didn't give them anything they became extremely aggressive and started throwing stones at me and, on one occasion, made a dog chase me. Both situations were very dangerous and I was actually frightened to death. Luckily, I escaped without injury.

Nov 6th, 2009, 15:35	#38
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,225	Me too! Whilst one does still encounter an innocence that seems to have been long-since lost in "western" countries, the big-eyed sweeties of the photographs should not make people think that all Indian children are angels. They are certainly not. There is, however, more of an acceptance of authority than one might find in some of their western cousins. One is less likely to encounter the "What are you going to do about it? You can't touch me and you know it" response, because Indian children do still get beaten, and that of course, is a whole other topic. The child I shouted at last week, for catapulting birds, dropped her weapon and ran away. Not sure that I would have done the same in my old London suburb, as probably the weapon would have been turned on me. I wouldn't recommend hitting a child, though, as the parents and familly and friends may well not listen to your reasoning, even if they are able to understand it. On the other side of the coin, I still, mostly, find a gathering of Indian children, even teenagers, to be a less threatening experience than the London equivalent. Well... I guess I don't recommend hitting children for all sorts of good reasons --- as I said, a whole other topic.

Nov 6th, 2009, 21:33	#39
namaste_cat Kashmiri-Punjabi Sherni Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Amreeka Posts: 941	Agree with Wildhorse, Nick, newislander, wonderwoman, and dzibead. My sympathies lie with the OP and not the brats in question. My husband and I are quite strict with our kids, and I am with my pupils as well so when I see children misbehaving anywhere not just in India, I get quite annoyed. I'm not above smacking a kid if they behave in a bratty manner. I wouldn't do it unless physically provoked, and thankfully no child has ever thrown anything at me, but there is absolutely no excuse for any sort of physical attacks or aggression. I don't know why the poor OP has had these experiences, and feel for her. Besides reacting in anger w/ the object thrown right back in their general direction, not sure what I'd do.

Nov 12th, 2009, 08:17	#42
Gelsomina Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Thailand Posts: 17	Thank you all for the support! Of the children who have hit/touched me, I only think one pair of kids might have been "professionals" (i.e. possibly looking for a pick-pocket opportunity) and those were the boys in front of the palace in Jodhpur. I certainly don't want to hit any children, but grabbing them by the wrist, at least for the smaller ones, and giving them a good shake might be a solution. And learning how to say in Hindi "would you hit/touch your aunty/mother/teacher/a policewoman like that?!" then don't do it to me!" I only hope that the parents of these children become aware of their little darlings' behavior and how inappropriate and ill-mannered it is, and I hope the foreigners who think it's 'cute' will stop encouraging it by handing out trinkets and sweets!!