Beware: Can I take a photo WITH you?

snonymous

Must share this with all of you. In Ooty [shockingly of all places] this year, while we were relaxing at the Botanic Gardens this is what we saw. A young twentyish white couple, very modestly dressed, were sitting on the lawns reading. They were soon approached by a group of Indian male tourists [in distinctly village type attire, seemed to be from the Mah./Kar. border by their language and accent] who requested a photo with the couple. The womenfolk of that group were sitting apart some distance away. All very innocent until I noticed that most of the men were desperately trying to stare down the white lady's neck while the photos were being shot. Fortunately the couple did not notice and after some friendly banter, the tourist group moved away. Within 5 minutes another group - seemingly well behaved college boys from Kerala, approached the couple for a photograph. Naively they agreed. This time while the photo was being shot, one of the boys boldly put his arm around the white lady, almost sticking to her. Perhaps not wanting to create a scene, the white couple politely retreated and left the park.

I was most disgusted by these incidents, more so that they should occur in South India especially Tamil Nadu, albeit that the perpetrators were not Tamils. None of these Indian tourists would have dared to behave this way with an Indian lady. It is so shameful. These kind of incidents are known to occur in North India, not to be expected in Ooty of all places. Unless our mentality changes, what does the future hold?

I had forgotten about this incident but was reminded again by something related that was in the newspaper today.

ronsaik

Alas, the chauvinism! :-)

alspants

Same thing happened to my girlfriend in lodi park.

A twelve year old kid copped a feel of her left boob while we were posing.

Should have seen it coming, but I forgot how horny twelve year olds can be. What was I going to do, hit the smiling little testosterone charged kid? I stood nonplussed and said "NO" in the most headmaster voice I could.

He responded with a proud giggle and legged it before I changed my mind about not hitting him.

Next time, while in Dharamsala we were asked for the photo thing, this time from older twentysomething yearolds.

I was prepared this time,

" sure, no problem" then as the cluster formed a picture "no touching" and my firmest pointing of a finger with some serious eye contact.

The smiles dropped. It made for a great photo (I had to ditch the photo for Varanasi ghats, which was a better choice of Memory card space). Im sure they ditched their one too.

Its not all bad with regard to photos, If its a family, its generally a compliment to be asked for a photo, which happens quite alot if you have blue eyes.

Just be prepared to set the rules.

Nick-H

Just ask my Tamil wife about travelling on a Tamil bus with her Tamil counrymen in Tamil Chennai...

Chauvanism, ideed.

And what's so special about Ooty?* "In Ooty [shockingly of all places]". That statement I can't comprehend at all.

Anyway, I'll be sure to pass on the warning to Mrs N about the Maharastrans, Kannadagas (is that the right word) and Malus. But I don't suppose she'll be very pleased with me as her family is Kerala also. At the same, she's been Indian long enough not to discriminate by state on these matters.

Some time back we met with a visitor in a Chennai restaurant. Her neckline was a little on the low side for this city, and you cannot believe the number of times the waiters found it necessary to clean our table, especially her side. We just found it rather funny. (Oh yes.... I should have said, the Tamil waiters).

But there is a serious side to all this, yes: badly behaved boys should not be encouraged. Accept the photograph invitations from families only. And wear a duppatta.

Excuse me! Have to go! Just spotted an Indian lady with her sari tied in a revealing way.....





*Have to admit that visiting the place left me with this question

karuna

Can I just say that it made me laugh you specified it was her left boob in your post, alspants.

Yup, happened to me in Shimla. Group of young men at the Hanuman temple of all places, first offering us sweets, then photo-with-elbow on shoulder, and ended up with a request for a kiss. At this point our driver stepped in and some words were exchanged which thankfully I didn't understand, and they went away.

Are you still in Delhi alspants or is the contract finished now?

Nick-H

Yes, Alspants, you should have hit him!

I regret to report that, although I have been photographed with a few Indian ladies, I have had no such experience. .




No, really, seriously, of course I do take assault seriously, and of course I do not, in any way, approve of it.

It's the left one that is most revealed by a sari. They haven't realised yet that there's a right one too!

snonymous

It is not chauvinism, it is a fact. I have had terrible experiences in North India notably Delhi whereas I have only experienced courtesy in South India, especially in TN. It could be that the South Indian rowdies are not so bold as to touch, they restrict themselves to comments which as most tourists do not understand, they ignore. Whereas the N. Indian rowdies are bold enough to touch, if not worse. These are not hasty conclusions but unfortunate facts which every woman will confirm.

My friends and my dearly beloved colleagues are from every remote corner and linguistic region of India so I do not have stereotype pre conceived notions.

However if your sensitivities are offended, I offer my apologies.

alspants

Grumpy indeed.

I think somebody missed the point, to let new tourists beware of increasingly touchy feely people...

I find the blame the ladies who show a little-bit-of-skin mentality just daft.

Lets focus on the issue at hand, not the misinterpreted local generali - zations. I dont think that was the intention of the warning?

karuna

Spoken by an expert!

I was wearing a warm zip-up fleece when I was "photographed-with" but there was definitely no boob fondlage, thankfully. Wouldn't agree to a photo if it happened again, learned my lesson on that one!

alspants

This is all funny stuff.

Sorry Nick-h, I thought you were being grumpy as it says "the grumpy one". I stand corrected.

Karuna - Back to home Im afraid. Its different being home. Like a reverse culture shock. I love the cold wet wind. I love home. I hope all is well with you.

Back to serious stuff, there seems to be a rise of all this Touching, rape, etc.

Perhaps all the reporting is increasing the perversity of the idea of messing with tourists. Perhaps it will get worse before better.

nomad

only on india mike. a mod with this kind of post. (i am sure my post is going to get deleted )


and. this is the first time someone has reported this kind of event from Tamil, the HolY nadu.

you just need to visit hogenakkal on weekend to know how well behaved Tamil Boys are. much better than kannadigas. :-)

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alspants

I think I caught it here.

Note the genuine and emphatic smiles of joy. The beautiful camaraderie among the young men to be, the new moral india.

This was the chin fondle, the hand came on the decent, almost as quick.

I was, thankfully, accurate about it being left.

And for the Skin touters, I suppose the neckline is quite revealing?

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Nick-H

Well, snonymous, I too have heard that Delhi is particularly bad, and maybe they are bolder generally up North. Perhaps I was misunderstanding that you seemed to be implying that Tamil men did not get up to such mischief. So perhaps the misunderstanding is mine, and the apology should be too.

And perhaps I was being a little grumpy too --- in a giggling sort of way .

Is the situation getting worse? I don't know; we have plenty of women members who say that they have never had any real problem visiting India, and plenty of local Indians, such as my wife, who can tell that they have had problems with men on the street all their lives.

I think it is getting more publicity now, and that is good, because it is a step on the path away from the stupid 'eve-teasing' attitudes to recognition of the fact that sexual assault is a crime not a passtime.

But looking is not a crime (well, actually, it could be under the Indian law of outraging a woman's modesty). Looking with eyes bulging and tongue hanging out is certainly offensive.

Mind you, I'd like to be able to say that my eyes and tongue have always stayed demurely in place, but as I can't, I have to be a little careful with stone-throwing.

Nick-H

Yes, Aslpants, you should have hit him.

Let us hope that, one day, an older and wiser young man may be browsing the ancient archives of IndiaMike --- and cringe with embarrassment!

Member first, always.

And quite often a particularly silly member!

Now, lets get that Mod hat out and delete a few posts

mairangi_vice

Lets not let the ladies get all the attention here, Ive had this happen to me plenty of times! Well maybe without the touching, although one guy did put his arm around me in what I told myself was a friendly gesture!

The best was a group of about 5 older guys from Punjab who came up to me at fort aguada in Goa. Each of them wanted an individual photo with me, and they were using a film camera, so they used up 5 of their 24 shots on me. I dont know why, I was there with a group of people, so why would they choose the big foreign guy?