What to Wear in India..Helpful Hints for Women

Daal_face

Hi everyone,
I'm finally in India and so far I'm having a blast and meeting lots of great people, both local and westerner. I was compelled to post a thread on this topic because what you wear in India is so very important. So far I'm finding that travelling around in India is like travelling around in a nation full of Fashion Police. What you wear here affects how you are perceived, how you are treated and even how your day will go.

I assumed that like me, everyone reads up on the customs and etiquette of a country before they go. The majority of westerners I've met over here seem to have done their homework but I've run into quite a few that haven't. One such instance in particular was a group of nice young Swedish girls that I met during my travels who came here for vacation. They owned a Rough Guide but neglected to read the section on what to wear. They chose to wear bikinis and halter tops on a beach in Kerala. The harrassment they received upset them so much they almost cut their trip short. They decided to change the way they dressed and now are having a blast. I've met a few others who have the same experiences and I've even made a couple of mistakes. I once wore a clingy black long-sleeve shirt with a deep v-neck. It didn't show cleavage but I guess it showed a little too much upper chest or something. Another time, I wore one of my nicer Salwar Kameez with a cheap pair of flip-flops. As a westerner, you'll always attract curious stares...they're fleeting and harmless. When you wear the wrong thing the disapproving glares will cut right through you and you'll get them from everybody...young, old, men and women. Sometimes they'll go out of their way to quietly show their disapproval. I don't intimidate easily but I prefer not to spend the whole day deflecting all the negative vibes I receive by wearing the wrong thing. It's exhausting. I feel no need to prove a point or change India's view on what a woman should wear. I've been dressing appropriately and I'm having a blast!

Option A: Wear Your Western Clothes

Leave the bikinis, halter tops, tube tops, spaghetti straps, shorts, mini-skirts and anything over the top at home. Dressing "sexy" here will either offend or attract the wrong kind of attention. Cargo pants, jeans, long sundresses with short sleeves, skirts that fall under the knee or lower, short or long sleeve shirts and blouses that are atleast slightly loose and don't show too much of your chest should all be ok judging by what I've seen westerners and the handful of local women that I've seen who are wearing western wear and going about unharrassed. I'm not sure about beachwear because I haven't been to a beach yet but from what I've been hearing around, bikinis are totally not acceptable. I'd probably wear a t-shirt and a sarong over my bathing suit to be safe. I'd say that if it accentuates or shows off the curves of your bottom or your chest then it's probably not ok. Baring your midriff may or may not be ok but it seems to attract a little unwanted attention too. Yes local women bare their midriffs here too but most of the time it is covered by their saris. As far as shoes go, I'd pack a pair of comfortable walking sandals and/or shoes and a cheap pair of flips flops for lounging and using questionable showers. Leave the high heels at home. The streets and sidewalks are so uneven you'll break your neck trying to get somewhere.

Option B: Wear Local Clothing

This is the option I chose. I brought over 2 days worth of my own clothing and had some additional outfits made by a local tailor soon after I arrived. Tailors are easy to find and for a small price, you'll receive a beautiful and functional reminder of your trip and help a local family at the same time. Most locals are pleased to see westerners wear Indian style clothing as it shows that you are respectful and have an interest in their culture. There are tons of cheap and beautiful ready to wear clothing as well but if you're not petite, good luck finding something that will fit. I am 5 ft 3 inches tall which is average height in America but here in India, I tower above almost everyone. I also have a larger bustline and hips so I've had to have all of my clothes made. For a small price, I got to select the fabrics and the details (cut of the neck, length, sleeves, etc) for 2 beautiful and comfortable salwar kameez ready the next day and 2 flowy Indian-style tunics which were ready in 2 hours. Wearing a sari may not be a good idea if you are a white westerner. It probably won't offend but I've been told by quite a few locals that a westerner wearing a sari would look strange. I've even had one store refuse to sell me one, instead stearing me towards the salwar kameez and long skirts. As far as shoes go, I regret forgetting to pack my sandals. Shoes are cheap here but my 7 1/2 US sized feet are average there but here in India, I am Bigfoot and my size has been a little tough to find.

Another quick odd note...I saw a beautiful flower and picked it to tuck it in the hair above my ear. One of the locals ran up to me and advised me not to do so as wearing a flower in my hair that way signals to men that I am loose and ready to accept their sexual advances.

Well girls, I hope this helps. I hope I didn't scare anyone. Knowing what to wear in India is not hard and most westerners I see here have gotten it right. I want to ensure that everyone derful a time as I am in India. Even with its pitfalls, India is an amazing country. I feel blessed to be here!

imhere0905

Hi Daal Face thanks for the post, I am leaving tomorrow and was just going through what to pack, now I will go back and relook. Where did you fly into?

Fresa81

Daal_face, thats the best bit of advice I've heard about clothes in India in a long time! Its all well and good to do homework and prepare before you go, but hearing from someone who is *there* now is infinitely better! Thanks!

Two questions though - getting a tailor to make some salwaar kameez - what sort of prices have you been paying, is it really that difficult to fit into Indian clothing/footwear with your height/build? You sound a little like me, I think I might be taller (wow I'm a shorta-- at home, might be nice to be 'the tall one' for a change!!) but I had planned to take minimal clothes and just buy heaps when I get there. Hmmm maybe I should take more clothes from home just in case?

Also, whereabouts in India are you travelling? I have heard that in McLeod Ganj, because of the weather, all the tourists just mope around in jeans and jumpers, nary a salwar in sight - is that right, anyone?

Anyway, enjoy yourself and keep posting as you find out more useful facts for us pre-India novices

F.

__________________
Whereever you go, there you are.

shanthi

Hai girls, Speaking as one who spends much of her time working with children, in the heat of India - for comfort and coolness and also for people's reaction to be minimal, sari's and salwar kameez are best. There's a whole thread on Wearing Indian Dress, in the yak yak yak forum, that was begun in about August - you will find some great advice there also! Have a great trip and be safe!

Chandra

This is the post to refer to the next time someone is asking for advice on these matters. I very much agree with your approach, though there are a few exeptions to the rules (Goa, Bangalore, parts of Bombay etc)

Where was this? I'm guessing it was not in the south...

Anyway - thanks.

C

SilverButterfly

"There are tons of cheap and beautiful ready to wear clothing as well but if you're not petite, good luck finding something that will fit. I am 5 ft 3 inches tall which is average height in America but here in India, I tower above almost everyone. I also have a larger bustline and hips so I've had to have all of my clothes made"

Im 5ft6, voluptuous size 16 with large bust also. Am travelling to Mumbai and Goa...will I have problems finding ready made skirts and other clothes here also?

"Shoes are cheap here but my 7 1/2 US sized feet are average there but here in India, I am Bigfoot and my size has been a little tough to find"

Im a size 9 shoe, with wide feet...has anyone else found problems finding things that fit? Was really looking forward to stocking up on summer clothes and beautiful strappy sandles while Im in India as it seems to be the fashion here for summer!

guerik

Silver, if your bust measurement is over 40 inches then you might need to get stuff made - in my experience that's about the largest size they come in. There are bigger sizes available but the styles are usually a bit more matronly
Some of the elastic waist crinkly skirts will probably fit, but readymade stuff looks nicer anyway - you can definitely have stuff made in Goa.

Shoes shouldn't be a problem, I'm an aussie size nine and was usually able to find the style I wanted in my size.

Daal_face

Hey guys
I just came from spending a beautiful few days in a remote part of Southern India...remote enough that they didn't have an internet cafe available and those seem to be everywhere. I stayed at a beautiful guest house and upon checking in, they had me read a "rules" sheet. One of the requests was "Please do not wear sleeveless shirts. Kindly respect our culture and our values. Thank You." It didn't specify whether this was for both men and women or just for women so we asked because I am travelling with my boyfriend. Our hosts kindly explained to us that they occasionally get some western travellers from Goa who don't know any better and think that what is acceptable in Goa is acceptable every where else. They didn't mind short sleeved shirts or t-shirts on women but tank tops, spaghetti straps and halters/tube tops were not allowed. My hosts were very well aware of the busloads of Indian men that travel to Goa to ogle the "loose" western women that frequent the beaches and like many other locals, are hoping to avoid that same type of situation elsewhere in India.

Later on, a young Australian guest complained about the policy to me. She said that she wore a bikini just fine in Goa (which was where she was before she came here) and that she's not an Indian or religious so why should she have to follow their rule. She was built like a 12 yr old boy so I have to wonder if my curvy body would be "fine" in a bikini in Goa. Anyway, I was disturbed by her attitude about it and told her that there is a time and a place for everything and if she couldn't be bothered with respecting the local culture than why did she come to India? Covering up really isn't that bad. Sure it's hot but if you wear the right fabrics, not only do they protect your skin from the elements (sun, bugs, etc.) but they wisk away the moisture and keep you cool. In India, wearing too much is better than not enough.

Just so you know, I am indeed travelling through southern India (the flower comment was made to me in Kerala). I arrived in Chennai and I've been making my way around. The locals are great. For the most part, the men have been respectful and I'm not dealing with the grabbing/physical harrassment that my friends travelling up north had to deal with. At worst, they come up to me and try to flirt/conversate with me but that was when I'm looking particularly cute in my salwar kameez When I made my fashion faux-pas, it was just unpleasant. On the day I wore my cheap flip-flops with my nicer salwar kameez, it was like everywhere I went, people stopped what they were doing to stare at my feet. In a restaurant, people actually walked up to me, stared at my feet and gave me a disapproving look, similar to the one my mom gave me when I tried to wear makeup to school when I was 12. Sure I could laugh at the situation and I do now, but at that time, I just wanted to go about my business and not be like a circus freak.

To answer your other questions, yes, if you are curvy or "tall" which includes alot of us western shorties, you will probably have to have your clothing made. There's plenty of nice ready-to-wear stuff available but only one westerner that I met was petite enough to be able to buy it like that. There are plenty of fabric shops where you can buy nice fabrics to take to a tailor or in my case, my tailor had great fabrics at his shop. For me, it started when I asked the man running my hotel/guesthouse where I could purchase a salwar-kameez and he was so excited that I wanted to wear one that he went and grabbed a bundle of fabric that he had just purchased for his wife. He gave it to me for the price he paid and he took me to his tailor. Be careful when buying fabric at a fabric or clothing store. Usually salwar kameez are not available ready-made and you have to buy the fabric bundle (pants, dress top and scarf) and take it to a tailor. Usually those bundles have enough fabric to fit an Indian woman but not a western. I almost made the mistake of purchasing one without holding the fabric up to myself first. Sure enough, there wasn't enough fabric. Everywhere I went, I had to ask for "big-size" shoes and clothing. There are chubby Indian women here so I guess they have to do the same. The best thing to do is have them measure you at the fabric store or go to a tailor.

I think I required 6 or 7 meters of fabric total for a complete salwar kameez. I'll have to check my receipt to see if that is correct. I went to 2 different tailors to have stuff made so I know for sure that the first one was ripping me off and charging me for extra fabric. I only purchased cotton type materials because they are cheaper and I prefer cotton over silk because I'm always afraid I'll ruin nice fabric. Fabric for one of my salwar kameez cost around 450 rupees because I needed "extra material". Stitching cost between 125 and 200 rupees for an outfit. I know that I paid one tailor 1000 rupees total for the fabric and stitching of 2 complete salwar kameez, ordered late afternoon and ready the next morning. I don't know if I paid too much but I was happy with the finished product. Most tailors will let you design everything from the length of the dress top, the neck and sleeve features and how loose or fitted you want it, as well as how loose/fitted you want the pants. Observe others before you have your first one made and see what you like. When all was said and done, my salwar kameez fit me well and it looks exactly the way I want it to. If you guys have any other questions, keep them coming

Daal_face

One other thing...the "flower" comment. It was made to me in Kerala. Yes I saw women wearing flowers in their hair in southern India but it was different...kinda of like a garland of flowers like you see used for religious purposes. I attempted to wear that one flower (a red hibiscus) tucked behind my ear like they do in the Polynesian islands and that's when the comment came about. I haven't seen any Indian women wear it like that but yes, I do see women wearing a flower garland arrangement, pinned around hair that is pulled back or braided but not behind the ear and not a single flower by itself.

katyrafi

A friend of mine who has spent a lot of time in Malaysia also put a red flower in her hair here in Kerala in the way you describe and got some similarly disapproving comments.

The garland of flowers you have seen is probably jasmine (white flowers) and these are often put in the hair after a visit to the mosque or temple and also at official functions like weddings. The jasmine flower is often blessed before being worn and it smells fantastic (I'm not sure if it's true but it seems to have aphrodisiac qualities - so my husband says anyway!! )

Hope that helps

__________________
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly

Chandra

I'm kind of tall - 177 cm, but I have been able to find many readymade SKs that fit me. (But more that don't...) But I have to buy men's chappals...

In Tamil Nadu the flower garlands are to be found in white, orange, pink, purple, etc. I love that almost absolutely every tamil woman wear and smell like fresh flowers!

Daal_face

Hey guys
I am now in Goa...Palolem to be specific. It's beautiful here...the weather is overcast but very nice.
Goa does indeed seem to be the exception to the rule. Tank tops and spaghetti straps abound, paired with long skirts and sandals. Quite a few people wearing Indian inspired loose and free-flowing clothing. I see a few bikinis as well. Even on the train coming here I saw more westerners and Indians wearing western clothes but only dressed as I mentioned in my post above....t-shirts, jeans...no midriffs or cleavage. Goa, well atleast Palolem, doesn't appear to be as sleazy or tacky as I expected. There's no nudity or topless sunbathing going on and everyone seemed to be tastefully dressed. There's a LOT of cute clothing here. Very nouveau hippie. You definitely could not dress like this elsewhere in India and I think it's mostly because the westerners far outnumber the locals on the beaches here in Goa.

SilverButterfly

Thanks Daal_face for your extremely helpful comments!! Its making it easier for me to pack, knowing what I may and may not be able to get when I am there. Im only going for 2 and a half weeks tho, visiting Mumbai and Goa.
Am really wanting to get some nice bright colourful long skirts to help me in the heat! Would you also have to go to a tailor to make these also do you think for a more voluptuous figure?
In Mumbai is it a little less conservative as far as western clothing goes and also what seems to be popular for dress in the nightclub and disco's? Would it be very unappropriate to wear a top that shows a little cleavage? - I guess depending how much attention you may want to draw to yourself.

Am starting to get a bit nervous now, only 6 more days to go!

Daal_face

Hi Silver Butterfly,
Here in Goa, there is much more of a variety of ready to wear clothing to choose from...long skirts, tunics, bikinis, etc. plus there are so many tailors here that even if you have trouble finding something that fits, someone can make something exactly like it for pretty cheap, both western and Indian style. I'm starting to get addicted to having my clothes made by a tailor. I'm going to have to find one in America when I get back
Yes, I hear that the "dress code" is alot more relaxed in parts of Mumbai and Bangalore. My visits there will be very brief but I haven't been there yet. Outside of Goa, I've seen very few women (both Indian and western) wearing western wear but those who have seen have never shown cleavage or wore anything too tight or revealing of the breasts, legs or shoulders or hips/bottom. If in doubt, err on the conservative side but if you want to wear that top with the cleavage showing, bring a shawl just in case you need to cover up. Here in Goa it would be ok or maybe even inside of a club in Mumbai or Bangalore, that top may be okay, but elsewhere in India...NOOOO!!!

traceyam

Wow. It's amazing how similar posts on the same topic get such very different responses.

Im a size 9 shoe, with wide feet...has anyone else found problems finding things that fit? Was really looking forward to stocking up on summer clothes and beautiful strappy sandles while Im in India as it seems to be the fashion here for summer!

I saw a few U.S. nines in Delhi but they were very narrow. I cannot purchase any shoes in India that fit me. I always buy shoes in the U.S. and bring them with me. I recommend that you buy shoes ahead of time anyway, so they're well broken-in by the time you reach India.

__________________
"Don't you sometimes wish the arctic was strawberry flavoured?" -- Thermoman