I don't want to buy a sari.

lcdeaconescu

I know I have to wear one for the wedding I just feel so self concious. I don't want people to think I look ridiculous.



I do not think I can pull it off, the walking is not an issue I have excellent posture, I can tie almost anything, I just do not want to look like I am playing dress up.

Darmabum

I have yet to see more than a handful of Westerner women look good?/comfortable?/confident? in a sari. It's not - IMHO - about posture, it's about how you feel you look in one. It's like riding a horse - if it senses fear, it'll run you all over the place.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure - Marianne Williamson

camelgirl

Throw yourself into the whole thing & enjoy it! You will have fabulous wedding photos which you will enjoy looking at (eventually )! It's just a couple of days in your life & you will make so many people happy! That's a good thing!!

You & your soon-to-be hubby look so happy & lovely! Meanwhile, he has to wear a far more outrageous outfit & possibly ride in on a horse You wearing a sari is not such a big deal! You'll fit in with the majority of people at your wedding--at least the hubbies side!

No one will think you look ridiculous. If you wore a bathing suit, people would think you look ridiculous (I guess that was Pam Anderson who wore one )

Anyway, just let your happiness show & you will look sensational!

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lcdeaconescu

I will be terrified. I do not want to upset tradition and I did stupidly say 'You tell me what to do and I will do it' (I really need to stop saying that) I just do not want to look like a joke. Of course if the ceremonies are anything like ours and everyone drinks I could look pretty good by the end of the night...

nayan

Isnt all wedding costumes kind of "dress up"?
I mean - who wears a long white gown/veil etc ordinarily?

camelgirl

You need some perspective. Marriage is a major life altering event and moving to India & having to learn a different culture is a major event. Wearing a sari is an event of a few hours and in no way a joke!

Your focus on your appearance, when you know you can't possibly look stupid if it's the style of your new home country, is being unreasonable and a bit insulting to them. You'll have a lot more to worry about, I promise & guarantee than wearing a sari for your wedding. You are not being asked to wear something silly! You should be thrilled to have an opportunity to wear something so beautiful and culturally signifant, just for a few hours.

Terrified--not possible. Bungee jumping or jumping out of a helicopter, that's terrifying! You need to get a grip on this! If something so small gets you this upset, maybe you should reconsider marrying and moving to India!! Have you spent any time in India? Are you familiar with your husbands cultural background?

There are many threads here on IM from western women who married Indian men & moved to India. You might find it helpful to read some of their experiences.

Haylo

If you do NOT wear traditional dress at a traditional Indian wedding, you WILL look like a joke!

This is only the first of what will be a lifetime of such culturally affected decisions, I really do think you need some serious reflection about whether you know what you're letting yourself in for.

Are you serious?

Well, umm.. How can I put this. Yes you will look like you are playing dress up. That is the whole point. You are supposed to look special. None of the Indian women who wear saris every day do so in a bright red heavy gold embroidered sari with full wedding jewellery and mehendi - they are dressing up too!

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SunnySun

Well if you are not comfortable with Saree and still want to follow the tradition I guess you can try for "LEHENGA" (if you are coming to some part in North India, its very traditional)...

You can Google it and can see that it looks more like a long skirt and a top...Hope it works for you..

Haylo

The only weddings I've seen have been in North India, where brides have worn a sari on one day and lehenga on the "big" day, but if the OP feels that wearing a sari is "dressing up", she would surely react in the same way to a lehengra - which looks as elaborate as a sari anyway.

I spent many happy hours looking at lehengras with our driver as he had an upcoming wedding in the family, I would leap at the chance to wear something so special.

SunnySun

Well I tried to make it simple for lcdeaconescu ...as although Lehenga may look like Saree but technically it can be handled bit easier than Saree...

And actually Lehenga can be first time even for many Indian Girls on their wedding...

Hope you get the chance to do that..

lcdeaconescu

It is not necessarily that I am terrified, it's just the day is actually pretty close now. I am lucky I get to marry my best friend but I am getting so nervous over everything. Will I look good, will everyone like me, I'm worrying about things that aren't even coming up yet (like baby names, closet space, what will the cousin he has only met twice think of me)

lcdeaconescu

I am happy and I can deal with culture, I do not think there is a girl alive who does not worry whether or not she looks pretty on her wedding day. The drinking remark was a joke, though Eastern Orthodox weddings do tend to have a bit of drinking.

annerobyn

Enjoy this special moment. I wish I had the opportunity to be dressed from head to toe in gorgeous silk, colours too many to mention, jewellery to die for and makeup like out of a fashion magazine. Embrace every moment of it - you will have wonderful pictures to remind you of your special day that not only will you enjoy for years to come but your children and grandchildren as well.

SunnySun

Thats nice you can deal well with the cultural changes...
Sure every girl cares about the most special day of her life...And thats the reason you are freaking out

Stay calm and cool with everything (though quite hard for you to do that right now )...And the bride is always the most beautiful in any wedding...So whatever you wear ...It is going to be your and only your day...

Cheers...

Haylo

Pre wedding nerves are perfectly normal, and from your photo I think you'll look fantastic in a wedding sari, now stop being so silly!

(Worry about the important things - how much closet space DO you think you're going to get? )