Gift on visiting Indian family for dinner in their new home?

SueJ · Oct 20th, 2007, 01:22

Hope someone can come up with some inspiration to help me!

I will be visiting an Indian colleague and his family for dinner just after they have moved into their new apartment. I am fine on personal gifts to take for his wife and son, but would also love to take them something from the Uk for their new home.

Does anyone have any ideas?

atala · Oct 20th, 2007, 22:40

It depends how modern the family is, but if the folks grew up fairly traditional and have not lived outside India for a long time or studied abroad, enough to change their innate feeling and behaviour, you should know that giving a gift as a guest in someone's house is actually, well not exactly, but close to insulting them, because the hosts are bound to treat you "like God visiting", while you giving them something makes them even more indebted to you. It is awkward for them to receive, if they should be the ones only giving. Get the point?

biswajit_27 · Oct 20th, 2007, 23:18

The best gift would be to ask them for dinner at your house the SAME day they are moving in. They would not have had the oppurtunity to settle down their kitchen yet, and would appreciate this very much.

nayan · Oct 22nd, 2007, 14:43

giving a small gift to someone for inviting you to their new house is definitely not insulting ..... whatever may be the education/social etc background. Indians do it all the time.

A souvenir from UK is a very good idea..... a table/wall calender with UK scenery/castles/stonehenge pics make very good small and informal gift. Along with it, carry a box of chocolates/sweets.

atala · Oct 22nd, 2007, 18:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by nayan

giving a small gift to someone for inviting you to their new house is definitely not insulting ..... .

I think "small gift" makes the difference. And the word that I meant, was offending, not insulting. Coming from the West we tend to overdue it with that special gift which outdoes anything they already possess.

nayan · Oct 22nd, 2007, 19:08

donot think any gift will offend /insult anyone unless its something wayyyyyyyy over the top... cannot think of something like that... can you give a few examples ?
A point here : the invitation is to a colleagues house (I assume they will be a middleclass/upper middleclass family) I seriously doubt anyone could get them a gift from the west which would seriously overwhelm/offend them by "outdoing anything they possess".

atala · Oct 22nd, 2007, 23:09

it seems I was wrong with my conclusion, or my experience is limited to just the very traditional segment of society.

SueJ · Oct 23rd, 2007, 02:38

Thanks for the thoughts. My colleague is well travelled and I know him well enough that I am sure he will feel I have done it with the best of intentions whatever the traditions are.

I have concluded an English Dartington glass vase will probably be acceptable. And I can be sure that he won't be able to get an Indian one the same!

Oct 20th, 2007, 01:22	#1
SueJ Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: UK Posts: 127	Gift on visiting Indian family for dinner in their new home? Hope someone can come up with some inspiration to help me! I will be visiting an Indian colleague and his family for dinner just after they have moved into their new apartment. I am fine on personal gifts to take for his wife and son, but would also love to take them something from the Uk for their new home. Does anyone have any ideas?

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Oct 20th, 2007, 22:40	#2
atala Senior Member, 8 yrs in India Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Switzerland, just back from India 2008 Posts: 691	It depends how modern the family is, but if the folks grew up fairly traditional and have not lived outside India for a long time or studied abroad, enough to change their innate feeling and behaviour, you should know that giving a gift as a guest in someone's house is actually, well not exactly, but close to insulting them, because the hosts are bound to treat you "like God visiting", while you giving them something makes them even more indebted to you. It is awkward for them to receive, if they should be the ones only giving. Get the point?

Oct 20th, 2007, 23:18	#3
biswajit_27 Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Delhi Posts: 60	The best gift would be to ask them for dinner at your house the SAME day they are moving in. They would not have had the oppurtunity to settle down their kitchen yet, and would appreciate this very much.

Oct 22nd, 2007, 14:43	#4
nayan Maha Guru Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: hyderabad/tokyo Posts: 830	giving a small gift to someone for inviting you to their new house is definitely not insulting ..... whatever may be the education/social etc background. Indians do it all the time. A souvenir from UK is a very good idea..... a table/wall calender with UK scenery/castles/stonehenge pics make very good small and informal gift. Along with it, carry a box of chocolates/sweets.

Oct 22nd, 2007, 19:08	#6
nayan Maha Guru Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: hyderabad/tokyo Posts: 830	donot think any gift will offend /insult anyone unless its something wayyyyyyyy over the top... cannot think of something like that... can you give a few examples ? A point here : the invitation is to a colleagues house (I assume they will be a middleclass/upper middleclass family) I seriously doubt anyone could get them a gift from the west which would seriously overwhelm/offend them by "outdoing anything they possess".

Oct 22nd, 2007, 23:09	#7
atala Senior Member, 8 yrs in India Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Switzerland, just back from India 2008 Posts: 691	it seems I was wrong with my conclusion, or my experience is limited to just the very traditional segment of society.

Oct 23rd, 2007, 02:38	#8
SueJ Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: UK Posts: 127	Thanks for the thoughts. My colleague is well travelled and I know him well enough that I am sure he will feel I have done it with the best of intentions whatever the traditions are. I have concluded an English Dartington glass vase will probably be acceptable. And I can be sure that he won't be able to get an Indian one the same!

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