Run To The Hills

Bengal Tiger

in november 2002, me and two others, my cousin (BB) and a female friend of his (RR) had gone for a very small trip to mcLeodganj. the circumstances which led to the trip were strange and the trip itself was very short and sometimes sweet. after i returned to delhi from the trip and (they to calcutta) i wrote a dairy of the trip. then i forgot about it.

i stumbled upon that diary a couple of days ago in my comp. since i am an im-er now, i have a very nice way of sharing it. here it is...almost "as-is".....i only added english translations and some explainatons in some parts, usually in parenthesis.

i hope at least some of you will like it.

feedbacks and/or brickbats are most welcome.......so please dont hesitate


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FORE WORD



So here's the stuff, ready and polished. A polished "rear view mirror" of sorts.

I think, this one makes for better reading (than "coming back to life", a dairy written by me of our experiences during and around Roger Water's "In the Flesh" performance in Bangalore, India), probably because Waters was not there. Like, that tour was sort of a spike, everything done for one reason, with the concert being the highpoint. This was, as we agreed, a series of good moments, being neither climactic, nor ever anticlimactic.

By the way, if someone in Bangalore asks me, I'll tell him that the best part of my trip to Delhi .....was my trip to Mc Leodgunj. Thanks everybody.


The chapter names are:


THREE'S COMPANY (FRI 8thNov, 2002, BB's arrival to leaving RR at her hotel)
R U GONNA GO OUR WAY (SAT:reaching home from station till reaching mcleodganj)
STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN (SUN:1st day in mcleod, till sleeping in our jeans)
ON THE ROCKS (MON:from next morning till walk back from the waterfall)
NOBODY'S FAULT BUT MINE (TUE:almost missing bus till goodnight to RR)


And here's the song that I spoke of so often, during the trip......by plant and page......


WAH WAH

from my island home, I feel a chance
to kiss the tired ghosts, of time and circumstance
so give me peace of mind and let me dance
and bury all pain, and years beneath the sand
on my heels, these wings I'll gladly bear
and laugh into the face, of anger and despair


Well, I'm not complaining for having gotten a chance to do the above stuff. The mishaps, "nobody's fault but mine", i agree, but still i'd like to climb other stairways, find myself drinking on other rocks, not to forget, run to more hills and maybe the odd mist coloured mountain.This diary is a shade obscene at places. However.......all the best......enjoy......


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THREE'S COMPANY

(BB's arrival to leaving RR at her hotel)

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E-mails were getting exchanged. Bb was comming to delhi. And so was rr. Only that she was waitlisted at 250 odd...and that she didn't know where exactly to stay in Delhi....or for how long was her visit! Truth be told, she didn't know WHY she was comming in the first place!! (see e-mail below). To make matters worse, even bb didn't know what her plans were, and I didn't know if I could get permission to accompany him to "someplace else"...that is, some place far from the madding crowd of delhi (he had mentioned that he was planning a short trip, and wanted to take me along). And neither of us knew if she would/could join us.here's what the score sheet looked like before the two of them arrived.....


Rr's last mail to me b4 comming: (should make for interesting reading for bb)

Ma durga's come and gone.......i hope, for her sake she went back happy and comes back soon. But that was october,this is october rust. For me, since we last communicated, i would like to think i have evolved as a human being, in my own way.....promises r high, expectations are low, whatever comes along is fine for me. How r u? Delhi was always a little too cynical and cold for me. I am not too sure why i am coming to delhi! ummm......food for thought. I am reaching delhi on da 8th at 7.30 in da evening,old delhi station[what immaculate planning,ha?]. Still dont know where to stay. Have got myself lonely planet and footprint india travel guide. I hope it comes in handy when i am in trouble. I could camp, or theres this place in pahargunj where they rent out beds on da terrace. Its a backpackers haunt, pretty safe, or so says lonely planet. I am deep into da history of Delhi now, wanna know my country, man, seriously do. Mail me ur no.,ur address if u can.i think i will see u but dont know why i am a little hesistant. I dont want to intrude in da happiness. Hey, I think I hav lost it again. Really dont know what i meant by that. Hey, as they say "some contradictions, gonna let them be". Well, anyways, would love to see u man. Its been long. And here i go again...............


Bb's last mail to me b4 comming: (should make for interesting reading for rr)

Long story, maaan long story. The "estranged" thing happened just a few days back with me receiving a mega kick on my bums. Since it happend two days backs i'm still sore and to be frank, slightly bored too. Too much of a hassle...this woman kind. Anyways i kinda know about her wl 250 odd status and no, if this time she has to share berths and fags (*we had done that while coming back from Bangalore to Calcutta by train*) she can do it with my mom. I dunno what she's planning. I get in tuch with her in a couple of days....and find out what she's all about. It's nothing that cant be repaired, i'm sure it can be worked out. But u keep mailing her...the usual way...

Bb would be flying in on the 7th evening and she would slide in within 24 hours (by a certain "kalka mail").so bb would be in time to receive her.i dunno if i could have done that thing alone.

On the day of bb’s arrival, i was back from the institute at my usual 6 and being dog tired decided to sleep. At 9 we started for the airport....me sleeping in the car too. The flight was delayed. More sleeping.Then they came. Him, my aunt (ie..his mom) and the "foreign folk" (bb’s own sis and her husband, who live in California). I greeted bb in an old time tested way. In the car, bb asked me suddenly "so r u ready for 7.30?". Took me some time to figure out what it, was that he was referring to."yeah" I said…


later at home…

…i brought a bottle of miranda into the room. Tossed it to bb. He missed it and the plastic bottle fell down and cracked and the stuff started oozing out of it. Cleaned the mess. Then bb tried to drink from the other, puntured, end of the plastic bottle....which looked just like a fellatio. So i fetched a glass. And bb started squeezing the miranda out of the rear (punctured) end of the bottle, in the way farmers do their cows!! We discussed our plan of action at night after dinner over fags. There was a map of delhi that i had kept aside, and on that i showed where we were staying, where my research institute was, and then tried to locate the old delhi railway station.

Next day i was off to that lab again. I called bb at home and gave him my office ph no. He would get in touch later. At about 3 he called from palika bazaar. The story that folks at home knew is that i was to meet bb and that we were to have dinner outside...so would be late. Then i got a call at about 5, saying he'd reached the pre agreed spot near the institute. So I went to meet him. I saw him sitting on a staircase. then it was 4.30 ish.showed me what he bot from palika. Train was at 7.30. We wern't allowed to smoke on that staircase, so we went off.we looked for a resturaunt. After some searching, we got inside nirula's.before that, bot some boose....vodka. At nirula's, it was a chicken burger and a yankee burger. Followed by two more yankees. Then we pushed off.lit a fag near mc.donalds. Sky was dusky. We bargained with auto drivers for old delhi station price, finally finding one for 80 bux. Stopped the auto to buy a couple of miranda bottles. Shop didn't have fags. Tried to pour the vodka while the auto was moving...spilt some, so did the mixing @ a traffic light. The auto was steadily taking us into old delhi- the narrow streets, the old houses and the mundu-ed folks walking the roads gave it away. When we finished with the vodka and one of the miranda bottles, we chucked them in the auto (rear) itself, as a parting gift.

We reached at 7. Learnt that the train was late by an hour. Bb called SS (a collegue of his in delhi) ...she told us where we could get a good kabab...near jamma masjid. So decided to take a bus. Bb had kept the remaining miranda bottle in my bag....without my knowing. We sat in the bus talking. The bus wouldn't leave, so we decided to get back to the station since the train was by now due.We alighted when it was about to leave!!! We bargained for fake walkmans and spotted one that looked like a disc man!!! Back in the station we learnt that the train was late by one more hour!! Things were clearly not going our way. So called up home saying we were in conought place. Went back to the station, walked the length of the platform. Scary. came out for a fag. Were asked to get up from the first, second and third place we sat for the smoke!!! The second one was particularly interesting...it was a metal "thela gaari (ie.. push -cart)" and the moment bb sat on it , one end of it hit the ground with a loud bang!!! Its a surprise that he was still holding on to the cigarette.

By now it was getting a little late and this would take awhile. So decided to call up home. Told them that we had already had a round of dinner and were now waiting for another guy to turn up. Nice story that bb came up with. Could be adjusted to suit the situation.in we went. At the platform we were clueless about which coach would be her's, cos she never told us!! We decided to take positions near the two over bridges, just as the train pulled in. And rr pulled out of the 1st class bogie that stopped right in front of us!!! (we hadn't split yet). That rid us of a possible fuck up.hi and hand shakes."who wants to hug me?". One thing about bb, he never misses a chance. Luggage included a huge ruck sack and a school bag which if i remember right, was a veteran of roger waters (and probably other concerts and tours as well).

Out of the station, a massive lonely planet came out of her ruck sack. She was making a call home when i decided to light up a cigarette. Then.."hehehehehehe what!! You want to live a little longer?hehehehe"...all that 'cos she spotted my (6 month old) habit of smoking with a filter, which if facts are to be known, was now fullfilling the role of only a holder. So i walked away to finish it in peace. When they finished the call, we decided to take an auto to c.p. (the mod girl's way of reffering to good old "conought place"). Mod girl was later mistaken for a foreign mod girl. Rr bought a pack of "filter wills" from a street side shop outside the old delhi railway station....the shopkeeper was quite disbelieving. Then we, or @ least i, got a glimpse of the new weapon of mass destruction, she had acquired....a cell phone, which in the course of time would play a vital role in pulling us out of trouble. Rr let me know that she was planning to buy a hair dryer soon. Details, details!!

The auto stopped near c.c (conought circus, inner circle). Rr got down to ask a few "midnight cowboys" where it was that we found hotels. Were misdirected completely. Went towards wimpy's. Quit the auto. Asked people on the street. Then rr got into wimpy's and asked some people who were happily hogging, including foreigners....as if they would know about Delhi details. Anyways we came to know where pahargunj was. So took an auto that way. Looked frantically for hotels. None were good enough AND moderate enough. Meanwhile i called up home and came under severe firing. Thankfully we soon found a hotel. They gave her a room on the top floor. We checked the door latch...strong enough. We came down. Paid for the room. They asked her about her nationality! Took a visiting card of the hotel and scribbled down my house no. and gave it to her. Then rr came out to see us off. She did without dinner that night. And i was in far too much of a hurry, having made that phone call, (being able to detect from an echo what the future had in store), to say a proper goodnight. Well, goodnight.

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ARE YOU GONNA GO OUR WAY ?

(reaching home till reaching mcleodganj)

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In the auto, i came up with the story of having to drop a certain mm @ greater kailash II , hence so late. Got down on the main road. Ran to get in thru the backside shortcut. In the narrowest of lanes, a bloke was taking a leak, blissfully pissing so to speak. Not noticing him, i ran past. Then suddenly, a stream of choice hindi expletives. I looked back, thinking someone was hollering at me, bb was one better--he thought someone was showering punches on me!! Heard the chaste hindi he now spoke ("mujhey thora jaaney dijiye" = please let me psss) to the bully, who gave two hoots to the fact that he was beating up a fellow, who was at the most, only halfway through his regulation midnight leak…...the elaborate sixteen foot iron gate, with the top fitted with curved sharpened rods sticking out on both sides, which was previously part of the purana kella (old fort) of delhi, and was used in the past, quite effectively i am sure, to keep out invading mongols, huns and such like, was right up ahead... and firmly locked. I climbed up some of the way and found the going too difficult. The guy in whose cyber parlour i used to go every afternoon, saw me...and asked me to get down. I asked him to open the door. Sorry, no can do. Better to sit and watch the action ha? I tried to climb down from the other side but my shoes landed on spikes fitted oh! so strategically, to recieve all manner of footwear (those spikes were added ever since those mongols started wearing shoes!). It was too high to jump down. So tried a different route. After leaning and easing myself on a side railing, I jumped down. Bb, now wise about the spikes, took this route. Folks at home already knew that we had come...the ballyhoo had let them know. Told them our fabricated story in detail. Within moments of entering, i secretly emptied my (untouched) tiffin box behind the rear wall. The problem was that after the 2 yankees, the two of us had eaten almost nothing. We had to make do with a packet of sliced fruit cake and an apple for the night!!! Now bb told me that he was going with rr probably to, or towards shimla, since she supposedly would go there and that it was now up to me to eke out a holiday on monday if i was to be part of the fun. We, esp. I, slept unsure of what would happen the next day.

Woke up late, put on our clothes, took our credit card to the liquor store. Thats one for you, two for me but.........no not exactly. Woke up late, about 10.10.bb called up rr, when mom and aunty went out. She told him of the ghost like noises in her loo that kept her awake, of the 35 ruppee cup of coffee (foreigner after all!!), that she was crying till a few minutes ago and that she would leave that god-damned hotel any moment. I, of course heard the whole conversation on the speaker phone. There was a cricket match on at that time. Then i called up all my bosses that be, to ask permission for a leave. Meanwhile we contacted the h.p tourism office, obtaining that ph.no. from the delhi map. They told us that buses for dharmashala leave at 5.30 in the evening. Asked them to keep 3 tickets. Phoned frantically...got the permission. Told rr that she could now check out and that she was to head to “Chandralok building” in Janpath, to collect the 3 tickets and that we would meet at 3.30 outside wimpy's. At home, we decided to tell them that we were going to shimla and that the person we spoke to at the h.p. tourism office, would “reserve” 2 tickets for us. So rr was gonna go with us afterall. Alternately I would join bb and her (neither of this was definite 12 hours ago).

We were given all sorts of grub to eat on the way, both dry stuff like biscuits and fruit cakes and also cooked stuff like “puri with mutton curry”. Also 3 packets of "fruiti" - mango drinks in small plastic boxes. We took some music and film vcds. And planned to take the vcd player. At the last moment, a solitary "veto", put paid to our audio visual plans. The car took us to chandralok building. Went inside to the h.p. tourism dept. Spoke to the guy. He told us that someone had indeed come and bought three tickets, not for dharmashala, but till mcleodganj. Then i spotted something. "bb, don't we know that ruck sack??"."Exactly!!" was his reply. That confirmed that she had come. Back in the car, I told the driver (so he could go back and tell my parents) that WE managed to buy TWO tickets. Then we got dropped opposite wimpy's. We waited beside the main entrance. Fished out a frooti each and sipped.

Then rr came, complete in bandana, bangles, handicrafted handbag, fancy skirt and a pair of red shoes that had straps halfway up to her knees."Sixties here i come" was bb's take on her exotic garb. We offered her a fruiti. Not thitsty. Rr had bot tickets right till mcleod she let us know. He asked her what the seating arrangements were like and she said that our seats were 26,27 and 92 (or something) and that we still would be sitting "together"!!! Bb enquired how those could be next to each other and she started showing him there itself on the footpath how it was possible after all. People were wondering what the hell was happening. Bb needed to withdraw cash. We had time. So off we went in search of the h.t. (Hindustan times newspaper) office, near which the ICICI a.t.m. was. Walked on asking people for directions. Finally found the building. Me and rr sat on the footpath waiting for bb to go and get the dough. Lit a fag. Showed her the (now useless) cds that i had brought along. One tramp-esque guy gave a whole lot of advice to rr regarding why girls should not smoke. Spam, they call it.

Then we went into "ruby tuesday" after negotiating our way, past the statesman house. Bb told us where that name (r.t.--> the stones song) came from. We ordered two bottles of beer. It took us some time to figure out that the happy hours were effective only if we bot the beer in pairs of bottles. I had put my head down on the table after a couple of cigerettes. Some folks were dancing in the aisle.When i mentioned dream theater, rr let me know that i was talking about her favourite band. Since there was not much time, we decided against another pair of beer bottles. I took a “ruby tuesday” sugar pouch as memento. Came out. Bb went off to load films while i called up home and explained that we were going to mcleodganj since all shimla tickets had gotten booked. Then rr told me some (probably) lonely planet “fundas”- that we get to taste chocolate cake at various stages of its preparation in h.p. I added it to the agenda.

We took an auto rickshaw to chandralok building. I had the grub packet with me and in trying to heave the side bag on to my shoulder tangled it with the grub packet so that the grub packet now started dangling from the straps of the side bag....all this much to rr's amusement. Went in. Met that guy. The ruck-sack was still there. Those two went to buy cigarettes while i sat there. I took a leak upstairs.we walked out of the office from behind and boarded the bus. Her sack went into the boot. I sat in one window and lit up.... with my 5th matchstick, thanks to the breeze from the window. Bb and rr were sitting together - so much for consecutive seats. The bus started.....later bb would lemme know that this was one of his best moments in the trip. (and i would confide that mine was already over by the time we boarded the bus). The bus stopped near d.u campus which was the extreme north of Delhi. Rr explained why so many tibetans were boarding the bus from here and that she had stayed in these parts last time she was in delhi. I told her the two-questions-twice-asked sardarji joke. There was nothing much to do, sitting in a bus and it had become dark, so not much to see either.the bus stopped at some other place after going for about an hour or so. I got down and bot a pack of popcorn. Bb bot a bottle of water, since we wern't carrying any.nor was either of them wearing a watch, making me incharge of time.

While the bus stopped, bb got a tibetan fellow to buy us some "chhang" - tibetan country liquor. 50 bucks. It came in a plastic packet. I wish it didn't. When i went to the last bench, i came to know about the lever that is used to tilt the seats back, in "a very unenviable sort of way" (it got wedged in my, you know what). It was cold, so i had brought a muffler out to wrap around and cover my ears. Rr fished a "ludo- pattern-ed" bed sheet out. I was sitting alone, having some of the grub that was given to us from home. The camera was hung from the back seat. We had the last two rows to ourselves. Various things were mentioned, mostly music related, dont rem in what order, notably - woodstock for women (lilith fair), love story-oliver's story, RATM and killing in the name, jokes, my guitar wants to kill your mamma, tintin in tibet, john barleycorn, gnr lies, "summer of 42", richard bach,"whipping"/pearl jam, "state of Bengal" (the Bangladeshi band), “history of the world”, rob kroeger and harley davidson, pandit G etc...Then bb noticed that i was feeling alone and left out in my seat on the other side of the isle, so asked me to join them in their seat. We squeezed in, all three souls, (read assholes) in a seat meant for two!! i was sitting on half butt (the other half hanging out) while bb was sitting between the seats and there was that lever too!! So we felt one with gnr's "panties round your knees, your ass in debries", er..,not so much with the first bit, as with the last. There was some kind of huge gathering that went on for over 2 miles beside the road. We could only guess what it was all about. Meanwhile i was wearing one of rr's two dozen bandanas on my wrist!! (the bandana *did* reach mcleodgunj). Then all of us were scandalised by someone who was peeing just as our bus was passing ...it was a "she" too!! We went to the last bench to try out the chhang.

Couldn't find a way to drink from the plastic packet, when rr (the girl among us) reminded us that we were still carrying an extra frooti and the straw that comes with it. So i bit a small hole in the chhang packet and inserted the straw into it. Passed it around, to take sips. The chhang tasted pathetic. Between sips, I told bb."o sathee rey, terey bina bhi kya peena...." (a rip-off, of a Hindi song… which ends with the word "jeena" and means roughly "not much point living without your company". With the last word as "peena" it now meant "not much point DRINKING without your company"!!), which fetched me, one of his trademark, "almost but not quite" smiles. He tried to sing songs. gnr and pearl jam. Debated if "Release" was better or "black". Mentioned "porch" ("there ain't gonna be any girl anymore"). She said she liked "animal" and "rearviewmirror" too.

There was, according to bb, "a hint of a moon" outside. In the cabin, they were playing grotesque punjabi music, that we could all hear. I told bb about pearl jam's "breakerfall". bb told me stories of their nocturnal "gram bangla" (the country-side of west Bengal, where they aften used to go for long all-night drives) adventures and those in Madhya Pradesh with Pp. Once when i tried to throw out a cigarette stub, it hit the window pane and fell back on rr, which fetched me a high pitched "@#$%@$%#", which i absolutely loved hearing!! By now we were hungry and the bus stopped, quite timely, at a roadside dhaba. We all took a leak(each) and then sat down to order food. We had a dal makhani,aloo kofta, and rotis. I bot a paper glass. Real small-town-hindi-cum-punjabi-cross-jat-cum-behari-jai-jawan-jai-kisan songs were being belted out.one of them went "khatia pey markey, bahoot maza aya ( "it was a lot of fun to give it good, on the bed") !!! yeah… "jat's" the way we do it. After grubbing, we had a fight about the bill (they over billed us) and then managed to convince them. Lost no money, but left our water bottle behind, thanks to the the chaos.

On getting back into the bus, the first of the so many fuck ups that peppered this tour, took place. I had covered the packet of chhang with the "ludo" bed sheet, so no one could suspect what was beneath. And NO ONE could.rr sat on the seat, bedsheet and chhang and..... hell, i am sorry. Bb was pissed off with me and rr maintained a pointed silence. I threw out the (now broken) packet of chhang. We hung the bed sheet out of the window (on the driver's side)so it could dry. After sometime, we hung it form the other side...so when the bus stopped at a toll booth, someone pointed out about the bed sheet to the conductor and he came right up behind, to pull it back inside. We then spread it on the last bench. Then after sharing a few cigerettes we decided to sleep. By now it was cold and rr was dressed in a sweater and bb in a jacket. At about 4 the bus stopped at a tea shop.we got down. White fumes were comming out of everyone's mouth.they had a glass of tea each while i had a smoke and took a leak. I burst a frooti packet that was lying on the ground, to break the silence in the air. Our bus had lights and speakers on every seat (fixed to the roof) - none of which worked. Back in the bus rr felt thirsty. We were at a loss what to do, since we had left our water bottle behind. Then rr, the girl among us, reminded us that i was carrying a third frooti and the glass i had drank water in (in the jat restaurant), was also around. So i took out the frooti, made a hole with my watch strap pin (cos I couldn’t remember where I had kept the straw, after using it to make a hole in the chhang packet) and this time rr performed the "farmer like act" of "milking" the fruiti into the plastic glass. She was generous enough (alternately, we were mean enough) to share the drink .

The sky was, by now an awesome sight, with more sparkling stars, than i had ever seen.the altitude. The only constellation i knew how to identify was cassiopea/big dipper. Spent some time star gazing all of us.with time, the sky was becomming greyish and we could see an awesome black silhoetted hill looming over us (the road). It was real scary and overwelming and followed us (we could see it) for some time. The bus continued on.in about thirty minutes we were in mcleodganj. The driver gave me the address of their booking office, since we wanted to book the return ticket immediately. We got down. Took out rr's ruck sack and decided to look for a hotel room. I went to the booking office. They would open only at 10, so the fellow gave me a hand written "visiting card", with only the phone no. written!! Then i asked rr where she would go from here and she told me that she was comming back with us too. Hell, this was supposed to be her year end trip - all of two days...with 99 fuckups thrown in....thanks mostly to some great planning and .....the "real" girl among us.

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STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

(1st day in mcleodganj till sleeping in our jeans)

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While bb went for a tree-side leak, me and rr entered the first hotel (opposite hotel bhagsu). It was only 6 in the morning. One sleepy guy told us the room tarrif. The t.v. was on. We waited for bb. He came and we marched behind the guy to see what the room was like. It was nice - with a stove and fireplace too. And a balcony-cross-terrace led to, by the balcony door, but a tad expensive. How i wish we had taken this room, with its door opening into the open terrace, so smoke could go out and fresh air come in when the room needed it badly. Rr also later lamented not taking this room, - "then I could have cooked something". Another place, another time, maybe. We checked into the very next hotel -- "chinar lodge". This tv either had a severe case of jaundice or used a yellow filter. I really regretted not getting the vcd player. Started unpacking. This room was also nice and cosy, only no ventillation. Instead it had huge glass pane windows (that could not be opened) and those were fortified with a metal criss cross grill.pity. Also no fireplace. All of us needed a bath (each).first to take a bath was rr.to wash away chang memories, maybe. The three of us had a 2/3 bed tea earlier. She showed us her authentic army jacket and a green "cover all" foreign rain coat, which was free size by its design. I had messed up the bed with all my things lying spread out. So arranged things. While bb took a bath i smoked and told her of the "another brick in the wall" film. Also jennifer conti's shows on discovery channel, about a fancy "teaspoon garnishing” and “the benny hill show”. For all that, i got called "a complete cartoon". I hope someday to be able to make that line sound cliche'd. She told me about their fights and taught me to pronounce "bon voyage" the right way. For the score, i wasn't the only person to have been imparted the "bon voyage" lesson (ie..bb had also got t b4). Then i took a bath and came out with hair "standing up like a porcupine", - which might have made any "new age" guy proud, according to one mod er...old timer. We brought the still wet and very smelly “ludo” bed sheet and have it to the guys sitting in the hotel counter. They would give it to a “dhobi” washerman and we could collect it tomorrow afternoon. We then headed out.

After a brief walk, along the narrow undulating roads, me and bb made a long distance call home. Then bb took pics of tibetan kids. And then we all rolled those bells which are characteristic of their temples/monastaries. We were hungry and were looking for a place to eat. Rr spotted a roof top resturaunt and so we decided to go there. While climbing up we saw many beautiful pairs of pyjamas, hung in a "hole in the wall" sort of shop. But up we went cos we last ate on the night before.in the terrace, there were many round tables with a canopy sticking out from the centre of each. There was a fierce sun beating down.......on my back. So i changed the angle of the umbrella. Immediately the copycat guys on the adjacent table, one of whom was wearing a red pair of shoes (though that didn't make him the only humanoid on this part of the planet, with red shoes on), with laces instead of straps if you please, did the same. First we asked for an apple juice. Then we ordered grub. Damn cheap. Me asked for what red shoes(laces) was having.meanwhile, red shoes (straps) ordered a butter tea which turned out to be more of butter (and other things milky) than tea. Needless to say she/we couldn't finish it. We talked to guys of another table about the distance of the hills we could see, and the time it would take to go to the top. Two days. We were carrying the "lonely planet" and reffering to it from time to time for info. Then the grub came. mine was momos floating in soup. Bb's was momo, but not floating. Rr's was noodles, with vegetables thrown in. So we sank......teeth, into our respective grub. I was supplied with chopsticks. I tried to hoist a momo with those. Couldn't. So called the waiter to show me how. He did. Tried again but failed. The sauce they gave was red in color....and taste. Meanwhile i had other ideas about chopsticks. I wanted to eat a momo with a solitary chop stick!!! (I soon learnt that very few people subscribe to such ideas involving solitary sticks, and such dangerous moves might render me a "solitary reaper" in the future). So, like an expert giving a demo to an attentive class, I began, "its easy to use a chopstick...",- so saying, I drilled a hole through an entire momo with the one chopstick, students all attention.. - "especially on big pieces, which can be picked up easily"....I tried to lift the momo to swallow it, and when I was just about to bite it, it slipped along the solitary chop stick and ended up near my fingers!!! Both the students really enjoyed the demo and laughed spontaneously. One student, (red shoe -straps) lifted the glass of butter tea and said "Here's to big pieces which can be picked easily". Thanks ma'am. Then i carried on with one stick, only this time picking up halved momos, so that all the stuffing was falling back on the soup and i was having skin after tasteless skin. Bb said "it wouldn't be a bad idea to try the soup in your bowl". This singular (pun intended on "singular"), "stick-y" thing was high on "mashti (fun) value", we all agreed. Btw, the meat couldn't have been mutton. Probably dog We came down.

I asked the price of a bracelet and the woman said it was 1.5 grand (later i was gifted a priceless one). I also wanted to ask the price of a stiched wall hanging, but rr cautioned me about their exorbitant price. We went back to "hotel bhagsu" to buy our return tickets. I headed for “chinar lodge” to leave behind some of the stuff from my school bag. Joined them in hotel bhagsu. They had already bot the tickets. I entered the empty restaurant. They had beer for 80 ruppees, which i was planning to have @ night in the lawn outside. But night time was going to be different. Then we went back to the marketplace and decided to go for the lake and the noddi “gaon” (village). We asked people for directions and headed for the lake. On a rock, as on so many other rocks, was written "free tibet" and rr read that out aloud and lamented "wish we had a cause to fight for". After some time, she suggested we jog, but i would only walk briskly @ most. So the two of them took off, rr jogging like a hare - legs folding up completely, and bb like a baboon. After they got tired of playing flo jo and "john benson", decided to climb up little bit of a hill. Up we went.sat on a rock and smoked. Jokes were told. Nudist jokes. And mike tyson jokes. And sadhu babaji jokes. I pointed out a tree where the leaves grew in distinct floors!! Climbed down and started walking for the lake. Met cows and dogs and monkeys on the way. Bb took a snap of a baboon from behind so the red coloured rear would show!! Then we stopped in a certain flat place and smoked and lay down on the ground. I had walked to a monastary but heard a dog barking and so ran back down. We stared @ the hill with snow caps and contemplated hang gliding. Then we discussed the poems that i had written and e-mailed them -"wait until dark", "californication" and "If". I may add here, that she had a slight hunch that it was written by Rudyard Kipling and not me Samples from er.. “kipling’s” famous poem “if” - “If for me you will take off your top / then for you my jeans I will drop", “If you give me a share of your pie / then forever will I stroke your thigh” and then “If you buy me a round of beer / then up your skirt I’ll never peer” and many more such er. couplets, which doubtless would have been rather bright feathers, in old Rudyard’s cap, if only HE had actually been the one to write them. And here's the then alluded to, nursery rhyme (and future anthem of all mickey-mouse influenced toddlers across the world), "ballad of a bubblegum", starting lines taken from – ozzy’s "mama, i'm comming home", written by your's truly.



Ballad of a bubble gum


when times have changed
and times are strange…..
and you are totally out of rum
your best friend's a bubblegum

though they might be thin as wafers
they do come in colourful wrappers
if you wanna become someone's friend
offer him a bubblegum as a present

they come in lots of colours
they come in various flavours
in times of your greatest fear
a bubblegum is always near

one tiny bubblegum can be big fun
even more than a fancy toy gun
they help you to keep awake
and fix things that you break

they can come in lots of sizes
they can even be won as prizes
and when you are forced to keep mum
you can say it into your bubblegum

when the sandman comes at night
or when things are not going right
and sympathizers are not in sight
a bubble gum will share your plight

(copyright protected )


Since bb had almost fallen asleep, i told him that it was past three in the afternoon (it was one-ish), and he woke up with a jump. We headed up again.saw a boose shop but bot none. Then bb entered a shop to clarify some technical details about his camera, while rr and i sat on a chair and drank water and waited at the next shop. Then some more walk later, saw the lake. I walked through the gate into the compound, while the two of them stayed on, for god alone knows what. But when they finally came inside, they did come sucking on a very long and equally bland pakora, which came with the same sauce as the momo's did (red in colour AND taste). They brought one for for my sucking pleasure too. So we sat on a bench by the lake and had those rather long and bland pakora-s, along with what was then, the very last fag we had left. Bb then told us about a hilarious incident where someone's watch had become a "bang-baaji"(where a flat piece of stone is chucked on a lake, such that it keeps bouncing off the surface consecutively before sinking) in the Dhakuria lake in Calcutta (in Southern Avenue, behind the Nazrul Manch of Dover lane music fame), when that fellow had tried to show off his bang-baaji skills to his friends, (bb being one of them). Then me and bb had a “baangbaji” competition. No clear winners. No lost watches either, probably 'cos he wasn't even wearing one and also cos I am way too experienced, a bang-baajist (or bang-baajer if you please), to ever end up consigning my watch to the waters. While pushing off from there, bb, said "there's actually a drink called noddy" but i pointed that it's actually toddy. Tell you what, bb must have been on toddy at that time, to have goofed up the names of a lake full of pellucid blue water (used variously for drinking and bang-baaji) with that of a cheap indian intoxicant (used variously for drinking and bathing ). We poceeded towards the mountain top also kept a lookout for some grub since we were hungry. Rr was now wearing a blue bandana which bb pulled for maybe the 77th time, which was for her, once too many. So she dared him to do so again and threatened to pour water over him. The two of them looked like doing it for some time, but then both chickened out, me missing out on a once-in-a-life-time snap. On we walked. I called a guy who was hawking "shon-papdi (a sweetmeat)" and bot three. We hogged those. Then we spotted a gathering of people who were all having the same food in identical plates. We thought that this must be some shop selling grub. But turned out that some people were having a picnic, and had bought their own cook etc..hence the same looking plates. They invited us to join. Reluctantly we agreed. After a few bites, we thanked them profusely and started for the noddi village on the hill top. It was just past two.

By now, the girl among us, was a shade tired and needed some serious pep talk from the guys. People gave us directions and said it was only a brief climb along a shortcut stairway. But the heavenly view we got later, was worth the climb, every bit. During the climb we realised to our dismay that we were out of cigs. After the climb there was a little walk to be taken along a rather steep road. There was also a little-shop, up ahead in the distance. We rushed to it and the two of them bot a packet of cigatettes each. Me bot only matchboxes. There was a toddler on a rooftop and bb in trying to take a pic, scared him so much, that he broke into tears. In time, toddler will learn about the bb's that be, in this world. We walked the narrow and lonely road, at long last one full cigarette to each of us. A spectacular view. We could see terraces beneath. And the (maybe) snow-covered hilltop right in front. There was a flat open area where there were some cars parked and a shop that sold, among other things, "boiled agg".(a misspelling for "egg". Btw the hindi word for fire is "aag"). Song playing on my comp, as i write this dairy is....."where the streets have no name"......how true of mc.leodgunj!! We walked past the cars, there was steep hill to our left and a chilling drop on our right. It was all very quiet, desolate and tranquil. High on "shanti" value. It seemed like, we had the mountain top to ourselves. We sat and smoked and talked. Of picasso and saddam hussain !! (the dark looming hill up ahead reminded me of a similar hill, from "fist of god" by freedie forsyth, in iraq and the thought of a fighter plane shooting up suddenly from behind it, was positively scary.i was telling bb about that story)..and of lesser things ....and sad nothings. The brothers then walked up further, leaving rr, the un-real girl among us, to fend for herself, alone on a mountain top on her own sweet own, defenceless against the elements and against suddenly shooting up fighter planes, except for maybe an army jacket or three and a couple of packs of cigarettes--a solitary “foreign’ mod girl, miles from her cell phone, with neither free size green rain coat, nor "ludo" bed sheet, high on a hilltop, just midway through her year end trip, stick-ing out like a "dunked-in-chhang" aloo kofta stuffed momo, floating amongst clouds of dal makhani, an easy target, anybody's for the picking up, with or without chopsticks !!! The cousins then spotted a school up front, with a partly open main gate. Junior tried to enter, senior pleaded not to, a watchman hollered, junior backed off in a hurry!! Then junior tried to commit suicide, arms thrown up, perhaps in a last ditch attempt to grab a fistful of sky, while senior took a snap for keeps. Brothers then joined rr, who had made a no contest of the fight with fighter planes and elements. The strapped red shoes and the almost over chap-stick (which she used some 136 times in the last 2 days), must have tipped the scales in her favour. Or maybe, just the altitude. We sat and chatted again. It was getting cold. So we decided to get back.

We came down to the place where the "agg" shop and the cars were. It was during this short and brisk walk back down, that the name "run to the hills" was decided for this diary, (by way of a quick, “while still on the move”, brain-storming sesson, held between the cousins). Someone told us that a bus was gonna come soon to take people back to mc.leodgunj. In our fatigue, we believed him and decided to wait for the bus. We saw an enclosed terrace-like place with a couple of benches right up front. A hobbled donkey had entered the terrace thru the gate but was promptly chased out. We decided to have some tea, but no one, not even bb, had the balls to try out some "agg". We were planning to sit on that bench up front, when a group of female humanoids, aparently with the same plan, started walking towards the gate. So i was sent, to block places for the three of us, since it would take some time to prepare the tea. So braving hobbled donkeys and a pride of two legged lionesses (nothing at all compared to what mod girl had braved a dozen minutes ago) i entered the enclosure. Sat and kept my, “old faithful” school bag on the bench, beside me, thus claiming the bench for posterity. The lionesses had no plan to sit, it turned out. Then rr and bb came, with the "cha" (Bengali, and also Punjabi, for "chai"). We sat down to have the piping hot tea. The tea turned out to be sugar syrup, mostly. Rr slurped while drinking, but no one was complaining. The altitude, silly!! We then talked, like seasoned, professional talkers. This time it was mostly jokes, that were exchanged - not stamps, punches neither. Golden oldies. Trips down memory lanes...featuring "a wild hunt in seema's c*nt" and how "it's a jungle out there" and "a river runs through it" (three scribblings, one below the other, that I found, written on a desk, in our class, in college). And the funny names of the players of a multi-regional Indian national football team and Arjun's (of mahabharat, that is) graduation day aiming test. And many others, which i dont remember. All along we could see a cow doing risky manuevers on the mountain slope. Maybe preparing for the next olympics or just practicing his ballet skills. Tea/syrup was long gone when we decided to get back. So was the cow gone- out of our sight. Someone may have had beef by the slab for dinner, for all we know. It was by now real cold and a cloud (of good old water vapour,as different from spicy dal makhani) had descended on the hill and last rays of the setting sun were getting reflected from the snow on the mountain top in front of us. Pity, we could not see any "fingers of god". All along we were in doubt whether the white streaks at the upper parts of the hills were actually caused land slides, snow or simply pale coloured rocks. Now, thanks to the “shine” caused by reflecting the last rays, we all now knew for sure. I'd really liked the last hour or so.

That bus never came, or maybe we missed the bus. Rr declared that she was too tired to walk any further but there was no choice, since there was no auto in sight. So we walked downhill, which is easier thankfully, hoping to find an auto at the lake. There was some skirmish between rr and bb about whether or not she really had an bruise on her foot,- she even threatened to show it to us, ending up taking off her red strapped shoes and walking barefoot on the, i suppose, freezing cold road We climbed down the stairway, this time leading us from heaven to the lake and the most testing period of the trip. At the lake, sanity was restored and the red shoes were strapped back in place and we tried to bargain with auto drivers. There were some autos ahead and many more very “horny” buffalows. We got split. I was on one side and managed to avoid the beasts. If bb is to be believed, rr was in danger of getting horned by one of those, and in an heroic attempt to get her out of the way, bb himself slipped and fell down!! The camera was not damaged, thankfully. In the auto it was real cold with the wind blowing in. When the auto had to stop @ a traffic jam, stupid me climbed down to buy six “thunderbolt” beers from the same shop that we had seen on our way up. At mc.leod bazaar we bot two “black forest” cake slices, 25 rupees each, but big. Then rr went off, to get medicine for bb- band-aids and a savlon, i discovered later. At the hotel while me and bb, were stretching and having the tea we ordered, she came back. It took us, but a few seconds, to figure who the bearded guy singing live on "channel V weekend" was....eddie vedder. So we reclined on the bed and had cake and watched pearl jam in action. She said she needed the "black album" at full blast, right then. Bb clarified a song that i had a doubt about, to be neil young's.much earlier i had gotten a brilliant expression of nodded approval from rr, when i'd asked whether "last kiss" was a neil young song (it wsn't actually…. its Donnie Osmond). Then vedder sang "keep rocking in the free world".bb opened the bottles with his teeth, we started with the thunderbolt, which left two of us rocked out!! (in the free world ?!!). The concert was soon over and for some time we watched a few lousy musical and not-so-musical programs on various channels on t.v. I dont want to write much about the things that happened post thunderbolt (nutshell :- i got a head ache cos of the lousy thunderbolt and all the cigerrette smoke. The room was stuffy and totally lacked ventilation. So I went out of the hotel and sat in the staircase outside. But bb thought I could catch a cold or fever or maybe even alzeimer’s and then the elders back home, would scold him for not being a responsible enough elder cousin. So he physically dragged me back in - we fought. Rr of course, got pissed off, by the witnessing this fiasco. An acute cold war ensued.)those very thoughts, piss me off completely. Don't think that, that was the last display of audacity, from bb either. We slept in our jeans, all of us and skipped dinner too. Bb acted as the “great wall of china” between me and the ravishing rr, on the ample double bed. And thus fizzled out, our first day and last night, at mcleodgunj. One hell of a lousy way to end the day, we climbed the stairway.


______________________________ _______________________


ON THE ROCKS

(next morning till walk back from the rocks)

______________________________ _______________________

Next morning found me awake, before the others. Rr mumbled that she'll never have thunderbolt again, even if that is the last drink on earth. I said that the "made in patiala" (as was written on the bottle) thunderbolt must have contained yeti pee. One of them agreed. So bb was the only one who had no problems with that hooch!! No wonder the buffalows took a liking towards him. While they were still in bed, i brushed and dressed up.Then I ordered bed tea and drew aside the curtains. Then headed out, to get medicines for my hangover. The medicine shop was closed, so i got "medicines" to make up with my touring partners - two painted vases, (the dark blue-ish one for rr and the dangerous looking reddish one for bb) which if the shop keeper is to be believed, can be wired up and used as table lamps (last I heard, both serve as non-illuminous “show-pieces” in the houses of bb and rr). When i came back with those, the bed tea was almost finished and they were talking money matters. I had the rest of the tea. Monkeys were comming to our glass window and bb took pictures of them and spoke to them in chaste monkey lingo. While bb took a bath, i was coaxed, not by her considerable charms, but plain old brow beating, to join in the effort to tidy up the room and fold the bed sheets. That remains to wit, the only time in my life, that I folded a bedsheet right at the middle. She told me how bb had told her about the "suicide" e-mail that i had sent him.(i'll write my next suicide note, to rr directly, on a hundred dollar bill). Bb came out and we finished the remaining black forest cake. The jaundiced t.v. meanwhile played the jxl remix of elvis presley's "a little less conversation". We then learnt that bb doesn't know about simon and garfunkel's "dangling conversation". Soon we were talking the one thing that interested all of us - music. Thus, we had managed to put things behind and get our collective ball rolling, putting the blame on thunderbolt, bb and smoke filled locked room. About the remaining beer (we didn't want to throw it away hehe), the plan was this- we take along with us to the waterfall in the jug the hotel had provided us, and return the same (empty) when we return!! We also discovered to our shock that whenever bb sang songs the lyrics got mothered royally. Notable victims included "yesterdays" and "bohemian rhapsody". We packed our things, for we were to check out, vacating our room, but leaving behind our luggage @ the hotel, to be collected in exchange of the jug when we returned!! While dressing up, rr threatened to wear her bikini swimsuit to the waterfall, to which i said "you are indeed allowed to wear it, but over the other stuff!", which bb echoed immediately - for this once, the brothers were completely agreed. Sanity prevailed, and she dressed in ripped denims and a loud tee. We went down with our luggage.

Kept the luggage and headed out with the jug full of beer. While bb was settling the bill me and rr stood outside and discussed the whether and our plans for the day. Then bb joined us and a very famished rr ordered that we go to the roof top resturaunt first thing. So there we went and i left them after letting them know what i wanted to have, for the medicine shop. I got crocin, dart and bubble gum- for my fever, hangover-headache and jaundice respectively. Should not have watched that damn tv. Meanwhile bb had ordered a plate of floating momo, like me, while rr went for fried potato and a cheese sandwitch. Also non-butter tea. Bb dropped one momo from his bowl into mine, spilling the "soup" on me. So i did the same to him, dropping my own “top-spin added” momo bomb, only with lot more precision, thus ensuring that lots of soup splashed on him. He and rr comtemplated heading straight for agra, for a day trip, the moment we reached delhi. But then they couldn't possibly leave me alone, the real girl among us, at the bus terminous, so that plan suffered an early demise!! I learnt about the foreigner friends rr had made, sitting in cal (someone from Prague doing her phd in Bengali at Calcutta university and another French guy into sitar lessons) and how they had all gone “durga-puja pandal hopping”. Bb kept teasing rr about the fried potatos she was having. She didn't have much of it, not with me around (ie. i helped myself to most of them). Nor did she finish the sandwich, having only the cheese filling, not unlike the way garfield eats the toppings off jon's pizzas!! We left a few residual momos there and settled the bill and headed for the market place. There, while they tried to hire an auto, i went to buy paper cups and cigarettes. When i came back, i learnt that they had hired a maruti van, since no auto would take us. So in the van we went, along a very steep and equally narrow road, which had much more than its fair share of potholes and loose rocks.bb sat in front. The beer in the jug, kept on the floor of the car, kept splashing, while rr smoked a cigarette.sometimes bb and me had to get down, so the car could climb a particularly steep and dicey region. Then it deposited us at a place, from where we were to take a walk into and through the bhagsu village. We could see a hill with part of its slope blown off by dynamite, since mining activities took place there. There was a "balcony”of sorts, supported by beams, projecting out over the slope and i went right into it to get a closer view of the dynamite-blown opposite face of the range. We wanted to cover both village and waterfall. Then we started walking towards the village, rr with her side bag, bb with the camera and footprint, and i with school bag, beer jug and paper glasses.

We walked through narrow country roads, negotiating short cuts of rock and stone slabs , asking people for the way. Sometimes the lane almost touched huts and houses belonging to, i figure, the village. We sat on a few rounded rocks which seemed to be strewn around strategically for our very arrival. There we had a cigarette, gold flake kings, to which i have switched for ever, and a swig of beer, me and bb. Then on we went.rr asked a hermit in a certain ashram, "oh, sadhu babaji, jhorna kidhar hai ??"(oh sadhu babaji, where is the waterfall?). The sadhu babaji was Bengali, and knew we were too, from her accent. They went in.there was a dog inside, so i was quite scared. So i started hopping from rock to rock and entered the ashram from behind, jumping over the fence. I stood on one side while they spoke to the sadhu. Then we came out of the ashram, collecting the beer jug, which they had left outside the gate. We marched on.we spotted a tree which was made an extended nest by a host of tailor-birds. Saw signboards of eateries advertising pizzas, “italian food”, “thai food”, coffee and tea on ramshackle concrete houses. The influence of goa’s “german bakery”, most likely. While i climed down the rocks and boulders on a now dry river bed, the two of them started talking to a couple of hippy-ish foreigners.we asked the foreigners for directions and then i was sent to ask them for dope. So i climbed up the stairs armed with my beer jug and offered --"you can have some of this beer if you like, but in case you have some dope, can you gift me some?". But he had no dope, or so he would have me believe!! Our “dope-trick” failed. Five more minutes of walking later, we came to a flat open area which had a lot of shops. We decided to sit and have tea.rr went to the ladies toilet nearby. We sat sipping tea, the two of us. Upon the arrival of a huge beer fed dog (Tibetan mastiff most probably), only one stayed behind sipping tea. Rr soon came back.we had also asked for a bar of chocolate. When the dog left, i came back from the place where i was had shifted to, (another tea joint) to finish my tea.had a bite of the chocolate too.the beer jug was on the table.we'd asked for water. I told rr that in that glass was "peeney ka paani" (water for drinking), while in the jug was "jeeney ka paani"(water for living)!! Also told both of them of the "cool way" that south indians pronounce some words and names eg: ala-ram clock and pa-ral jam (instead of alarm and pearl). Then we went for the temple, which was on the way to the waterfall, but halfway did a lot of itsy-bitsy shopping, from an elderly woman behind the counter.bb bought ashtrays and bells and other fancy stuff. I got gifted a shiny black and white elastic wristband by rr!! I asked her to go and approach another nearby foreigner for dope, but she wasn't in the mood, so no can do.if only joanna was hanging around in these parts, to give us some dope:( bb also bought a laughing buddha and ying-yang lockets slipped into black strings, for all and sundry. I bought nothing.

then we wanted to get into the temple but there was this problem of the unfinished beer in the jug. after some hesitation, we decided to profane what wasn't much sacred, to any of us.afterall we had no intention of drinking IN the temple complex.so in we went. Entered a shop inside the temple boundary itself, lured by the beautiful devotional music that was filtering out of it. Bb bought paper lamp shades for all of us and folks back home. Then we came out of the temple complex, through a gate at the back side, which opened into a real narrow road leading to the waterfall. Bb took a snap of the waterfall that could be seen in the distance. I asked rr, how she came to know many swearwords, and do girls use those amongst themselves? She said no they dont, but she uses them, all the same, "that's because i'm not a girl". "Yea, i always thought as much" was the reply the real girl, gave to the girl among us. Bb joined us and we now went, chasing waterfalls (instead of the rivers and lakes we were used to?). I said i wanted to climb down along the boulders lining the stream, that the waterfall begat. But rr suggested that we climb UP the boulders instead.this was easily the better idea, since it would save us time and and energy. We spotted a sloping, winding, detour, leading to the valley of the stream, and we took that one.Soon we reached the stream, and the waterfall was just a bit further, above and in front of us. There were lots of big rounded rocks and the rapidly flowing ice cold water was gurgling among them.we kept camera, bag, beer jug and the fancy stuff we had bought, on a huge dry rock and went near the water. Rr took off her shoes and splashed around in the water. (for this, her trousers got the more ripped, not to speak of wet). She coaxed bb to come and do the same. I was content to feel the water rippling thru my fingers. We smoked there and took pictures, me of the two of them. I asked in what job one had the maximum freedom and lots of travelling-bb said "own business " while rr said shipping (merchant navy).

Some other sadhus spotted the beer jug and paper glasses from high above and kept asking what it was that we had in the flask. Cold drinks, we said. So saying, we kept the jug on the rocky floor of the stream, hiding it from the sadhus behind a boulder, and also ensuring that the icy water rippled around it, eventually making it cold. We had by now chucked our plan of going up along the rocks till the waterfall. Smoking and splashing in the water was what we preffered. I spotted an undie on a rock and when i pointed it out it to them, rr said "some interesting stuff must have taken place here!!". Talk about making out - on the rocks!! We didn't have much time left, so decided to get back, along the stream for some time, and then the narrow road.on the way back, hopping from rock to boulder and from boulder to rock back again (has anyone read orwell's "animal farm"?) I discovered that rocks could be very slippery when wet, as could boulders. We sat on a rock and decided to finish the now cold beer. Me and bb drank, she didn't. But she smoked and sometimes she smiled, and then she enquired if i had enjoyed the trip and did i have a nice time?? Thanks very much for asking. Yes i did, except for that one extended incident, i told her. A foreigner came walking by to feed the fish in the stream, apparently. I asked rr, if she knew any celebrity, hoping maybe she'd drop a name. But bb me gave the answer i wasn't quite prepared for...."one of her own relatives, is a celebrity". Woops!!!!!

We finished most of the beer and climbed back to join the narrow road, and then walked.stopped to take a snap. From the village it wasn't very far to mc.leod, so we decided to walk. Rr stopped at a shop to have a good look at the colourful hammocks on display.then on we went. Stopped at a certain place that had benches laid out for tired travellers and commanded a brilliant view of the valley below. We saw arrays of camps and lamented not staying in one of those. We sat on the benches, staring at the setting sun, smoking. i asked rr how long she planned to keep this habit, of smoking, and whether people at home knew of it.the expression that she wore, when she went a bit hesitant, while explaining the heightned dangers of smoking during childbirth, was one of the freebies i got that day. Some hilly gentleman came along, bb asked him for directions to mc.leod. And he said he was going there himself and smilingly asked us to join him. In the bargain, i was handed a, full half fag, by rr.the hilly gentleman exclaimed "dow-dow cigarette!! (2 cigs!!)" and i said "jab-hee peeta hoon, dow peeta hoon!! (I smoke 2 at a time, whenever I do)". So we walked on, along the hilly roads, together that hilly gentleman, listening to his hilly story, me smoking two at a time (as is my supposed old habit !!). Bb stopped to buy a “monkey” cap. Rr saw a restu. with “thali” on the menu. We decided to come back to it. Me and bb finished, whatever remained of the beer. We went to the hotel, collected our luggage, in exchange of the jug(!!) along with her “ludo’ bed sheet – all nice and clean now. We paid for the “washerman” charges and then kept our luggage in the bus (which would take us to delhi) that was parked in the green patch just outside the hotel, in between “hotel bhagsu” and “chinar lodge”. We were to eat something and then join our bus. I asked rr what she did at home and she told me of her (one of the many her dad owns) garment shop and that she ran it. Sometime during those two days, i learnt that she had cut her hair since Waters, that the current colour was not natural (ie..she dyed it), that she planned to get it dyed a different shade soon, not in a parlour spending one grand, but on her own with some special solution (which can be found in Calcutta, only at the Fancy Market) but at the risk of having severe or total hair loss! Add to this, her plans of buying a hair dryer, and it makes for a very hairy story indeed!! We chucked the thali restuarant. And the roof top restu. And decided to head for the one near the medicine shop which was playing tracy chapman, when we passed it the previous night.


______________________________ _____________________


NO BODY'S FAULT BUT MINE

(almost missing bus till goodnight to rr)

______________________________ ______________________


Ordered our grub. Me and bb went for "mutton" noodles, while she went for a burger. We selected a cassette from the guy's collection.”neil young live”. The guy asked us "are you from delhi or varanasi??"(as if we could only have been from either of these two places!!). I said delhi, while rr told him that she was from varanasi!! Bb asked her to tell that fellow where exactly in Varanasi, her house was!! Then the grub came. Me and bb had a competition -who could finish it faster- but eating in the Tibetan chop stick style!! I ate the noodles with a single stick too. Guess old habits die hard. I asked bb if he reckoned the meat was mutton, and he said that "that kind of mutton". I finished first and went to get brandy. But the boose shop had none of it.so came back. Bb had gone for a leak, rr was still eating. I took bb's camera and started walking for the bus stand, since it was almost time. They were comming behind me. There i met the bus conductor and told him that i'd be back in a moment. So saying i went looking for shops where i could get brandy. I found a shop. Got a quarter of brandy, handed the guy a five hundred rupee note thinking it to be hundred rupees. I realised my mistake only when he handed me the hefty change!! i rushed back thankfully, to the place where i last saw the bus, only to see, no bus. And to my dismay, no rr and bb either. Asked people where the delhi bound bus was, and they said that it had just left. I ran, saw them and then the bus.just then, the bus started again and we all began running after it. Some shouting and more running later, we managed to bring it to a stop. Climbed in.after some time rr asked me where the camera was, and i realized I didn't know and was quite scared that I’d lost it.meanwhile bb maintained a silence, which was because he had already collected the camera from me and hung it in its rightful place. I asked rr if she and bb worked hand in glove!!those two said that they were confident that they could have taken an auto and caught up with the bus at dharmshala- which is where the bus soon reached. Bb bought fried chicken from a roadside shop, from the bus itself.he paid the guy but the bus started and the fellow ran with change and chicken, behind the bus to deliver the goods thru the window!! All of us threw out the bubblegums that we were chewing. Rr always had "a half" of bubble gum, a carryover no doubt, from habits developed, during her many hours, spent perched on bar stools. Then we sat and ate the fried chicken. Between bites bb told rr, "we would have missed the bus cos he insisted we wait for a particular song", to which she replied "oke aar kichoo boleesh na" (don't tell him anything more). There, hehe. Speak hands for me. We were told not to smoke in the bus, so we wouldn't. This bus was better, the lights worked and the inside looked a bit like that of an aircraft, we agreed. They caught me in the act, of talking to myself, several times when i sat on the last bench window and was gazing out at the moon (which had now become more of an innuendo, from its previous measly hint)-light washed surroundings. The bus stopped for dinner at a restu, that needed lots of climbing stairs, before it could be reached.needs "trekking", according to a fellow passenger. The grub we ordered came very late. Rr went for her trademark dal makhani. Think she never had the same stuff as the rest, on this tour. There were many other ppl in the restu, from our bus.after grub, came tea, which we were forced to leave behind unfinished. I almost left behind my school bag (a prelude to a kiss, it would later turn out). I was the last to get into, the bus, like once, i was the last to get into a plane!!

In the bus, me and bb thrashed out about the incidents of the previous night, while rr tried to relax.after tolerating as much as we could, we decided to risk a smoke. Post fag, we each tried to list our top 5 favourite bands, while she soundly slept in the last seat. Bb asked me what was my best moment of the tour was and i said "ruby tuesday"!! Then thought again and said that there were no particular best moments and that the trip was a series of good ones. Bb also thought and agreed with me eventually. Now looking back, i'd say the couple of quiet hours we spent, just after the stairway climb, were slightly more equal than the others. Then the moment of truth came, the time for the "heroic last action", before switching off for the night.in other words i was to put myself to sleep, with help from the boose (i am sort of “sleep disordered”, if not an insomniac). I had already flicked a couple slices of lemon from that last restuarent. So i opened the brandy bottle, drank half the stuff neat, and squeezed the lemon in my mouth!! All this while rr was sleeping. So when i started dozing too, bb asked me to sit on the other side, so he could wake her up get her to give him some company!! I was sleeping, or trying to, towel pulled over my face, while she was told about my quitxotic drinking technique. Then at a particularly bad road bump, i woke up with a start and in a berserk fit of primeval drunken animosity, i told rr "good night, see you on the other side!!", about which she promptly complained to bb in disbelief!! I finished the remaining brandy, as a means of protection against further road bumps up ahead, and future berserk fits of primeval animosity. Then we all slept till about four-ish, when the bus stopped at the same jat restu (of “it was fun giving it good in bed” fame). We got down.it was freezing cold. We smoked and i got a single cup of tea for the three of us (cos i had no more change left)!! Bb said "the one smart thing he did in his life" to rr. So we shared the one cup of steaming hot chai, between the 3 of us, at 4 in the morning, and with less than 4 degree centigrades on most thermometers. Then i got my side bag and her ruck sack from the boot, inside the bus. Rr fished out her sleeping bag from somewhere in the ruck sack. I couldn't help but point out, that the sleeping bag looked exactly like a giant condom or maybe a giant's condom!! When bb was sleeping, with his legs on me and head on her lap, i put the “hand rest” of the seats, on his you know what, and rr pointed out, correcty as usual, that it wasn’t unlike a turntable!! Pity there were no records to stack on his, - you surely know what!! The bus entered Delhi in the morning. We woke up. I asked the curly haired guy sitting in front "are you a jew? When he blankly stared back, I said "i mean, are you from israel?"no”, he said. Er.. "what's your name?".the reply was, "my name is Muhammad; i am from iran". Eeeks!! The bus reached the terminous, near conought circus, we got down with our luggage, the bus moved on. Immediately I realised that I had not gotten my green side bag out (the "kiss" after the aforementioned prelude). While we waited on the footpath for the bus to return from the depot, I exclaimed "damn!! What did I do?" and bb said "this time, I'll write the tour dairy".


(ABOUT THE REST … I WROTE THIS DAIRY A FEW DAYS AFTER WE RETURNED FROM OUR SHORT TRIP….FOOLISHLY I DID NOT COMPLETE IT THEN….. YESTERDAY, A VERY ASTUTE CRITIC, AND IM-ER, SUGGESTED THAT I MAKE AT LEAST A HALF ASSED ATTEMPT TO TIE THE ENDS TOGETHER… SO HERE GOES…. NONE OF THE REST IS FICTON OR MY IMAGINATION. ALL FACTS.
ONLY IT ISNT IN DETAIL - ‘COS IT WAS 2 YEARS AGO AND I FORGOT SOME)



>> After waiting anxiously for about 15 minutes on an early morning New Delhi footpath, we spotted the bus coming back from its depot. I was up in a flash and running behind it. Managed to shout it to a stop. Climbed up and heaved a sigh of relief when I spotted my bag still nestled on the last bench. Then I heaved, the bag, out and joined the gang. We took an auto to our house in Green Park Exten. It needs to be mentioned here, that bb didn’t want rr to be put up in his aunts (my) house, cos he thought that might be a bit too er.. dicey. So we hunted around for a hotel amongst those that you find a bit ahead of the INA market. Some weren’t good, some filled. Some searching later, we found a room within our budget, but not to our liking. Anyway rr wanted badly to rest and we also had better show up at home – so we took that room. A brief walk took us to my house. Very quickly I freshened up and got ready, for I had promised to show up at office. The plan was that bb would take some rest and keep in touch with rr through phone and I would try to take the afternoon off and meet them. Even if I couldn’t, we would meet after offce-hours. At the institute nothing much happened. I called up bb at home and rr at her hotel. Then at about 11.30 I realized I would be free for the next 3 hours or a little lesser, but would have to be there in the afternoon. This called for a change of plans. Phoned them and asked them to immediately start for c.p. and meet me outside the Stateman House. I was there within 40 minutes but those two, took a lot more time to come, thanks most probably to all the make up that bb needs to take, everytime he ventures out with the likes of rr. When they ultimately turned up, it was almost 1 and I was almost ready to leave. Anyways we went to a place called Friday’s and having no choice but to make it snappy, decided to have one exorbitantly priced pizza (330 rupees or so!!!) between the three of us. Nothing much happened, we discussed possible plans. They said they would like to buy a return (train) ticket to Calcutta for the next morning (for rr), and then do some shopping in the C.P. area. I was to show up again at about 6ish and then we would take it from there. So at about quarter to two, we paid the bill and they saw me off to till the auto. Same old stuff in office. I had to wait for their call before I could leave base.

The call eventually came just past 5 and they let me know, that they would wait for me at the c.p. McDonalds. So that’s where I headed. But the evening “office-returning” traffic had its say and I was quite late to show up at M. Not much difficult spotting them though. They told me that they did manage to get a ticket to Cal, on an early morning train the next day and showed me the stuff rr bought – very reasonably priced salwars and tops from the “janpath” market and a fancy ladies’ side bag. We had the usual “burger with chips” and left. Then walked listlessly around c.p. and smoked. We shared a cold drink. Small talked. Inhaled fumes. Decided to get back. In the auto rr told us that she wasn’t really looking forward to the idea of spending the night in that room. When we reached the hotel we couldn’t agree more. The next room was taken by some rough necks, who kept their door open, so that others could have a good look at the array of glasses and rum bottles, on their coffee table. The entire floor reeked. We thought that getting back to c.p. wouldn’t be too great an idea. Besides lower end paharganj rooms weren’t much better, nor its inahibitants. Spending a lot of money to get into a decent hotel, just for the one night, didn’t seem like a better idea either. Taking her to my house was already ruled out and besides, doing it at such a late stage, would make it amply clear as to who bought the bus tickets, that we had claimed with dead certainty, would be “reserved” for us by the Himachal tourist dept. and also HOW MANY tickets were bought. A sticky post mortem would most likely ensue. We weren’t looking forward to it. It was decided, that while they tried to think of a likely place to shift rr to, I was to go and keep bb’s camera at home (that would also let folks at home know, that we are already back in our neighbourhood – so they wouldn’t worry anymore about the possibility of their idiot kids being kidnapped etc) and tell them that bb was waiting for me at a nearby restaurant and that tyhe two of us would be having our dinner there. Hence would be late. Executing this novel plan, was another ball game though.

When I was on the street headed for my house, who should I meet, but my mom and aunt?! The hotel was just a few yards away. A minute earlier, and they would have seen me coming out of that hotel !! I told them that bb was miles off and waiting for me in a restaurant and that I needed to hurry back. So saying, I handed them bb’s camera. My mom enquired, what had happened to my school bag (that I take to my research institute too) and I said it was in bb’s custody. It was slightly more than 8 o’clock then. I couldn’t go to the hotel immediately cos they would spot me getting in there. So I made a phone call from a telephone booth (the enclosed kind) to the hotel and gave bb express instructions to stay put and not venture out to buy cigs or such like. He said I was a bit too late with my warning, cos rr had just gone out, for precisely the same reason!! Soon I spotted rr walking towards the shop next to mine, where she could get cigs. The elders were still shopping for grocery, somewhere in the same street and the last thing I wanted was for rr to come and start talking to me, which she’d most likely do cos she hadn’t the foggiest idea about who were prowling the streets. So I faced the other direction (and spotted them walking back towards me, after their shopping) and kept giving bb, still on the other end of the line, a running commentary of this catastrope in the making. A minute later, rr came and bought cigs. She asked my shopkeeper about a pay phone too, but seeing that someone was already in the booth, talking in a hunched manner and with one hand over his free ear (which I did to cover as much of my face as I could), wisely decided to try some other booth, up ahead. Moments after she passed me, my mom and aunt came ambling and positioned themselves right outside my booth. I kept talking to bb, cos rr was still only a few meters ahead. Finally when she entered another booth, I hung up and met them outside my phone booth. They told me to come back quickly after the dinner with bb and I promised them that I would. I couldn’t get back straight away to the hotel, cos they’s see it. I couldn’t contact rr, cos they would see it. I couldn’t offer to help by carrying their grocery bag to our house (which was in the same direction, as that of rr from us) cos rr might holler out at me (how was she to know that the two ladies walking beside me were my mom and bb’s mom… she never saw them before). I was stumped!!

I excused myself from the elders, saying that I was in a hurry to meet bb, what with orders already having been placed and stuff, and headed towards the hotel. Went right past it and took a U-turn at the next road crossing. Lit a cigarette and walked back along a parallel road. By the time I finished it, I reckoned, rr should be back at the hotel and the elders back at the house. So cautiously, I entered the alley again, looked on both sides to ensure the coast was clear and then swiftly entered the goddamned hotel. When I came back to the room, bb had just finished giving rr, an account of the drama that took place while she was buying cigs and then making a long distance call to her house in Cal. The problem of where to put rr up for the night, however hadn’t yet been resolved. Lying in bed we thought for some time. The weapon of mass destruction, that she had brought, was not “roaming enabled” but the sms facility was very much alive and kicking. Deciding not to go down to the dangerous street again, we sms-ed bb’s collegue ss (the one who had told us about kabab’s near jamma masjid) on her mobile. Thankfully for us, she replied. But she was a journalist and hence worked late hours. She sms-ed back that we could rest assured that rr could stay with her in her flat (in which she shared rent with another female co-worker). Only that she was right then, in office, and would be rather late. We checked out of the hotel. First we sent rr out, carrying her massive ruck sack. I peeked out of the door, saw that there weren’t many people, none that I recognized anyway, and walked out, with bb in tow. We walked past rr, as if not noticing her. She was to follow us. First target, was to get out of the vicinity - so we went towards the the green park main market. It was past nine.

There, we decided to grab a quick bite at a fast food joint (masala dosa and “aloo mutar” each), since none of us were too hungry and all were quite tense. We smoked and called ss at her office from a public phone. She said she’d come in an hour or so!! Reluctantly, we just hung around there. Shops were closing. Vendors were winding up for the day. People were putting their brimming shopping bags into their cars and swiftly vacating the parking lot. We decided to go to Barista (*which has since then, shifted from there*). After each finishing a good-for-nothing coffee worth 40 bucks, we came out and sat in the staircase and smoked. Me and bb went across to a phone booth and called ss yet again. She said, she'd just finished a report and was ready to leave. I took the phone from bb and gave her our exact g.p.s. coordinates and some directions. Then bb called up my home and said that his friend ss, had come over to the restaurant, (‘cos he had called her while I had gone to keep the camera) and that’s why we were being late. No other reason!! About 20-25 excruciating minutes later, ss showed up in a maruti 800 car. Till then, we were perking up everytime a blue maruti 800 came our way, only to be disappointed. She was introduced to me and rr, and I fetched the same lousy coffee drink, for her too. We had another round of cigs, this time all 4 of us. She ofcourse didn’t know that rr couldn’t be taken to our house - just that rr would need a place to sleep. So when she insisted that we all get into the car, so that she’d drop us cousins in our house, before taking rr to her flat, we just gaped at her!! She insisted dropping us all the same, and so a compromise plan, had to be worked out.

So, while rr, the un-real girl among us, was to fend for herself, on her own sweet own, on the steps of Barista, in a now desolate south-delhi market place, a solitary foreign mod girl, defenceless against touts and midnight cowboys, apart from maybe her last couple of cigs, ludo bed sheet and free size rain coat tightly packed in her ruck sack, at the fag end of her short and eventful year-end trip, sticking out like a “dunked in 40 ruppee coffee”- aloo-matar stuffed dosa, floating amongst the many smoke rings that she herself blew, anybody’s for the picking up, with or without maruti cars, - ss would quickly drop the brothers at their house and rush back to pick her up. So me and bb said our byes to rr, and promised to keep in touch through e-mails. Bb of course would meet her in a few days time in cal. During the brief ride back to our house, we realized that rr had all the cigs and that we had none. Again ss bailed us out. She had an unopened pack of “benson and hedges” in her handbag!! Ever the gentleman (my azz), bb decided not to relieve her of the entire packet and make do with only a couple for the night. When the car pulled up, bb quickly introduced ss to my mom and aunt, and she said that she had to rush back home - so she couldn’t come in. They were relieved though, to see that we had our own transportation all along!! It was almost 11. I, like a very responsible guy, shouted to ss to give us a call at our house when she finally reached her flat safely. My aunt and bb were to leave, on the day after next, for derhadoon. Me and bb went to my room and talked about the happenings of the whole day. We couldn’t wait for ss’s call to arrive. It soon came and she let us know that the “precious cargo” had been safely "collected" from the pre-agreed "point", and that she would also most likely take “it” to the railway station tommorow, so “it” could safely get "smuggled" to Cal. Then me and bb headed for the open courtyard at the rear end of our house, (which is accessible only from my room), sat down wordlessly and lit the cigarettes which ss gave us, and watched the smoke rise up, and slowly disappear into the murky New Delhi night sky.


------------------------------THE END--------------------------

Rob_The_Pom

Great stuff Bengal Tiger!
Cool characters and some really funny moments.
It made me laugh out loud!
I particularly liked your incident with the Iranian chap - very funny indeed!

Great work and well done!

Cheers

RTP

__________________
The solution to your troubles is at the bottom of a glass

Bengal Tiger

hi RTP,

thanks very much....

glad you liked it and found it funny....

cheers !!!

beach

Nice memoir BT

Bengal Tiger

thanks beach

Bengal Tiger

no one, bar 2, liked my dairy !!!!!

amogasiddhi

Me and my dyslexic mind couldn't follow everything as it coursed through it's labyrinthian passages though I did pick out one or two interestingly flavoursome bits from the lumpy soup of your diary.
Thanks for bothering to write it down for other's to see.

Bengal Tiger

i wrote it for myself....
for others to see.. i just posted it....

ty though

snowcrab

Yippi aye ay ki yay
The wild wild west is all roped and tamed
The wild wild east is where the action is!

Mamamia

Seems like Indians too want to explore their country. I hope i'll be able to "chill out" with some of them when i'll get there.