Leaving Paradise for India

hawaiiyogagrl

Well, I will give some input. Island paradise life is VERY different from India.
I totally agree that checking it out first is a great idea.
I think that your life is going to change dramatically with the birth of a baby, and I would look a bit deeper into your motivation for all this.
As a parent, you will need to make descisions in a new way, and I suspect that if you think about this framed as "what is the best choice I can make for the nurturing of my baby?" you will find your answer.
Many people post here about travelling/ moving to India with kids, so read what they have gone thru.
Good luck, island mama!

Ikuru

I´ll make it short.
To me It sounds like you do not wan´t to go.
I´m sure your pets will be fine without you.
So will a baby being born in India.

So don´t go blaming it on them.
Doing it for the money?
Doing something you don´t like for the money?
I had a couple of jobs I hated at times and they did pay for my trips...
But then I had to get away...

You like your pressent comfy life and thats great.
But can you afford it?
Im sure it will be good either way.

__________________
http://www.ikuru.se My art.

cdrake

HAwaiiyogagirl,

could you explain what you mean in more detail?

for instance could you describe the difference is lifestyle for someone shifting to a city from an island(paradise)?

also explain in more detail, child rearing and the kind of peer groups both the parents and the children find, and opportunity for social interaction etc?

I cannot do it so well.

Nick-H

From what you say it sounds as if you are going to be one of the higher-paid families around --- I never before read of anyone coming to India to earn more!

Here in Chennai I could imagine you in one of the cleaner areas in a nice house with garden (and further South the prices should be less than in Central Chennai) that would allow you to keep craziness at bay when you and your child need peace. This is the only big Indian city that I know, so I can't comment on anywhere else, except that your money will probably go further here.

__________________
.


Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

hawaiiyogagrl

HAwaiiyogagirl,

could you explain what you mean in more detail?

for instance could you describe the difference is lifestyle for someone shifting to a city from an island(paradise)?
This would vary from person to person. I live on a pretty populated island and traveling to cities is still a big change. Some people do it well, some not. I grew up on the east coast of the US, my boyfriend grew up here, we compare positive and negative aspects of both places

also explain in more detail, child rearing and the kind of peer groups both the parents and the children find, and opportunity for social interaction etc?
I work with parents & children in social services, we look at creating the parenting styles that fit the individual parent. I have found that there is no right or wrong way to parent, there are almost no right or wrong choices. I am merely suggesting that the post-er take a look at the long term and see if this move fits thier vision as how they would like to raise thier child. Some people want to travel with their kids to give them a world perspective, others want to create a stable home enviroment, and so on. If moving somewhere she has never been with a one month old fits her vision, cool, it must be a beautiful life she sees for her and her family, similarly, if living in paradise fits that vision, equally fab! It's her life, her baby...we can give all the advice we want, she's gotta live it!

I cannot do it so well. Do what so well?

sunilg

Hi Kazi, welcome aboard.....

OT though, I would like to know if pre-delivery sex determination testing of fetus is legal in your country. Isn't it illegal worldwide, as in India?

__________________
...Bismillah

Kazi

Ultrasound. Little Guy spread his legs wide open leaving no doubt as to what his gender is. Funny enough, when the ultrasound technician asked us what we wanted, we both said "Girl!" Then he looked and said, "This is definitely a boy". We both smiled and walked around with dopey grins on our faces all day saying, "It's a boy!" It honestly didn't matter to us what the baby's gender is. We both wanted a girl simply because all of our sisters have lots of little girls (8 nieces 2 nephews on his side and 6 nieces 1 nephew on my side) and their absolute sweetness and beauty makes our hearts swell everyday. But little boys are wonderful too. We just have a lot less experience with those. I am also a teacher so at the third grade level (about age 8) I usually prefer little girls. But healthy and happy are way more important to both of us than gender. And as far as I know, no it is not illegal here in Vanuatu or in France or in America.

And as to what I envision for our child, I want a child who is adaptable to change and aware of life in the world rather than just in his or her own back yard. We have always intended on traveling with our kids so this does fit our plan. Paradise is nice, but it is a very limited existence in many ways. Our island is not well populated or well developed. There are only two cities in the country and we live on the outskirts of the largest with 30,000 people. Cultural opportunities within the city are limited to a museum, a public library, and a French cultural center. For education we can either go the French international school route where my husband attended school (and where our kids will probably attend), or an Australian international school that thus far only goes to Year 10. Local schools are very poor quality, not for lack of effort on teachers' and families' part, but rather poor governance, lack of funding, lack of teacher training opportunities...Vanuatu is very much a developing country (and incidentally receives more foreign aid per capita than any other country in the world, as of 2004). Medical care is very poor. There are some private doctors that are mediocre. We go to New Caledonia or Australia for serious medical attention. This is a great place for kids to grow up though with the safety the cleanliness the sea etc. and we will come back. We are only thinking of going away for 3-5 years and then returning. We would potentially leave again a few years later. We want our children to be global citizens, and can still provide the stable family life within our own family even if we move around.

And thanks Hawaiiyogagirl, I know what you are saying about choosing the path for our child. I know I am the only one who can make the decision (I guess I'll let my husband help) but it is so nice to get input from people who have experiences I don't and who may say things in a way I hadn't considered. Merci beaucoup for your thoughts.

Hyderabadi

That is exactly what we want to achieve for our boys (we moved India -> US), both now in early teens and, all four of us seem to be doing OK after 7 years of collective efforts.

Commitment + hard work have been key words for for our family if that helps any. Good luck with however the coin lands.

Nick-H

Sunilg (offtopic, but...)

There is so much monitoring of pregnant women in UK, where this care is provided free, eg ultrasound examination, that the sex of the baby will rarely come as a surprise, at least to the carers.

Last time I knew anyone going through pregnancy, being told the sex, if it was detected, was optional: those that preferred not to know until birth could elect not to be told.

Thing is, abortion of female foetuses is not a problem in UK ---this, AIUI, is the sole reason for the illegality of sex determination in India.

jyotirmoy

Kazi,
U are right.. there will be a good demand for ATR pilots as smaller towns get connected. If employed by Deccanair you can probably settle in Bangalore or Coimbatore. Weatherwise both are good. I have mentioned before too that if u have a reasonable amount of money(u will have more than that) life in India could be very enjoyable & leisurely giving u enough time to persue other interests. Wish u good luck.

birds

I lived in Delhi for eight years and loved it. Although Delhi is a busy, polluted city, there are lots of residential areas which are very calm, green and pleasant. Quite all right to live with a small child as there are good schools and good health care.

The last three years I live in Bangalore and find it horrible. Noise everywhere, constant construction, highly polluted and horrific traffic. As a friend of mine said "Bangalore will be unliveable in another two or three years". So, if you were considering Bangalore I would not recommend it.

We are moving to Goa in August.

gautam_n_

Same case in Bangalore too - there are residential areas which are very quiet, calm, clean and really green with lots and lots of trees. It all depends on where you live. But ofcourse the one way system is getting on everyone nerves. But ofcourse unless you see Mumbai or Calcutta, you won't have seen the horrific traffic probably

jgv

Good luck with your decision! Having been to Vanuatu and India I can say that Vanuatu is much more relaxed than India! But India is great for different reasons altogether.

I suppose you won't know until you go. You seem well travelled anyway so am sure you will adapt. As Nick said some of the houses are quite spacious and in the wealthier areas very nice..you might even have home help!

I am currently pregnant too 26 weeks! So good luck with it all. SO much to think about when you involve kids isn't there.

Nell

__________________
http://www.pbase.com/bookster/india2003

cdrake

explain it so well.

I have no idea how well you do.

Kazi

Husband is going to meet with potential employers soon and we would like to be able to give an educated preference for which city we would like to be based in.
The city choices are: Delhi (already thinking no on that one for the heat and population), Chennai, Mumbai, Bangalore.

In your experienced opinions, which city would be your choice and why and which area in the city would be the best for the following:
-greenery and freshest air/cleanliness in general
-close to the airport (high priority)
-opportunities for expat kid play groups etc./expat social opportunities in general
-French schools/nurseries (it will be a while before this is a huge priority)
-weather

Thanks for your help. By the way, I was really disappointed when IM was shut down briefly so I am pleasantly surprised to see it back. It seems like a fabulous resource with pretty chill people on board helping out.