Making Friends in India (Delhi)

wench

Hi

I am here working in India for a few months. Im really making a lot of friends and trying to get out to see the sights and of course SHOPPING!

However, as a female im running into a few things im not sure of. Hoping to get some feedback from you and know whats ok and whats not.

In my office there is one person(male) who has offered to take me out, shopping, dinner, movie etc. THis is great, except noone else goes. Is this acceptable here? I dont not have an interest in this person for anything other than friendship, but I very much appreciate having someone show me around (shopping alone is a bit boring).

It seems another coworker noticed that we spent time together and asked me about it. In his opinion this is not appropriate and he just wanted me to know. But 10 minutes later, another coworker offered to take me out too... another male coworker.

The ladies dont really want to get out and do things, so these are my only offers to get out and have someone local wtih me.

I am by no means a "hottie" so I certainly dont think i attract googling male attention. I actually feel a bit absurd thinking that thier intentions are anything but hostpitality.

thanks for any words of advice you can offer
WENCH

NEVSAY_D

was in delhi for 4 years...the only thing I would say is...STAY AWAY FROM DELHI MALES..

jyotipg

You posted on the wrong forum....
Check the forums on Delhi or any other general forum.. u may find much more audiences and replies too..

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steven_ber

Thread moved to Delhi Forum.

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Nick-H

Always easy for a Wench to make friends. Pity you're not in Chennai <ouch ---gets cuffed by GF>.

Seriously, always a difficult one this.

First thought: if you are not an Indian woman and you are not staying long-term then no need to worry too much what people think of you

Second thought: if you have to maintain respect in a position of authority, first thought does not apply. I've never worked here, but I get the impression that the formal hierarchy thing is taken very seriously.

Third thought: Lay it on the line to your cow-orker exactly what is not an option.

Fourth thought: beg one or two of your fellow women workers to take you out. If they are really so mean and unfriendly, then it looks as if you are stuck with the men.

Fivth Thought: The men are probably being friendly, helpful and entirely innocent.

Sixth Though: No man is ever being entirely innocent (see above )

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Digital Drifter

<reaches for books by Freud & Jung>

Laying it on thick & fast, I can see. :-)

Gayamom

Well, whether in the U.S., India, or anywhere else, when these sorts of things begin to be discussed in the office and one starts to worry (what's he thinking, what's she thinking, what are they thinking), best to come clean with all involved and clarify any possible misunderstandings, no? Then decline further invitations to go out in the evening with just one male officemate, perhaps?

Here in the U.S., if a male co-worker began to offer to go shopping and out to dinner with me, I'd usually assume he had more than a platonic or altruistic interest. As an aside, I was in Delhi working for about six weeks a few years ago. I was polite and professional with the men and more gregarious with the women. Just what felt right for me, can't say it's the right office code for anyone else.

Hope this is helpful --

GM

Indojingai

All Delhi males are not the same...

Try only dealing with men that appear to be educated, reasonably well dressed, etc... (these are just cues).

There has been a thread like this before, try dig that one out...

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wench

Thanks for all the advice. I think my message was truly misread. I wanted to know if it was CULTURALLY acceptable for 2 people to go out in public - one male one female.I dont really need advice on understanding how men are, or what thier thinking. (although NICK i did find it entertaining!)

thanks, i think i have answered my own question.

Indojingai

Wench:

We dont see a lot of that (1m & 1 F) in India as of yet. Or to the magnitude you see in places like UK, at least.

Culturally everything sucks in India, so dont pay a dimes worth to it.

And I might be way off here, but there might be a .5% chance that the guy is (in mistake) taking this going out as some sort of 'acceptance to association'.

My 2 yen.

Nick-H

I'm off... To that nice, innocent Unknown Animal thread*

Might stop by the Ladies' Room thread later and see if I can peddle some more radical feminism, though


*<five minutes later> And what do I find there?
Innocence is dead

Karan321

[quote=wench]Thanks for all the advice. I think my message was truly misread. I wanted to know if it was CULTURALLY acceptable for 2 people to go out in public - one male one female.I dont really need advice on understanding how men are, or what thier thinking. (although NICK i did find it entertaining!)

To answer Your question...Yes, It is absolutely acceptable in the larger cities like Delhi.

dumb_bacchus

Hey its totally cool. Trust me in Delhi - its more a part of the culture now... Look around, do you see that you are the only one with a guy. If yes then probally you guys are going to the wrong places

have fun, take it easy, enjoy the weather

radz

Hi Wench
"I wanted to know if it was CULTURALLY acceptable for 2 people to go out in public -
one male one female.
I dont really need advice on understanding how men are, or what thier thinking. "


Its very much Culturally acceptable.
Only thing if you going out offten(ofcousre same person),
ppl tend to think you are couple,if male also thinks so.
Sorry I may be wrong,am just telling the general mentallity(Here you read society&ur office ppl).


Enjoy your stay in Delhi.
Cheers
Radz

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sameer

hello wench
i am in the same condition as you are nut i know delhi people much more.
i think you should not accept their invitation.
however if you think i can be your freind as i am also alone in delhi.
i am highly educated respected man .
thanks mail me
if you think so