Social life in Bangalore

Indjun · Feb 13th, 2008, 04:47

Hi,

I will be relocating to Bangalore, India for a year on an expat assignment.

In the last year I have been to India eight times for business. During these times I have tried to imagine myself living in this country, as I knew this expat assignment was forthcoming. Right off the bat I knew that lifestyle would take a huge hit, and I have now come to accept that. However, what I am having a hard time accepting is the impact on my social life.

I am from the Miami area where the nightlife is world renowned. Beautiful women are aplenty and it is totally acceptable to approach strangers to strike up conversation. I’ve visited Mumbai, Delhi and Bangalore, and while a club/bar/lounge scene exists, it is so different. First off, the ratio of men to women is staggering with men far outweighing the women. Second, the clubs in Bangalore all close at 11pm making it hard to find your groove. Finally, it seems like everyone comes in packs and never associates outside their pack. If you approach someone they look at you strangely, and if you’re lucky enough to break down their barriers their friends are not far behind to pull them away.

What advice would you give a single Westerner (of Indian descent) who enjoys nightlife and socializing? Since approaching strangers is such a faux pas are there alternatives such as social networking websites? Would I have to limit myself to fellow expats? What lounges/bars/clubs would you suggest? If so, where would they frequent? I’ve been to Spinn, Fuga, NASA, Taika, Hint, Vaayu and a few others.

I will be there by myself and do not want to mix business and pleasure with my customers so befriending them on that level is not an option. Any secrets to crack the code would be appreciated.

crvlvr · Feb 13th, 2008, 05:19

Indjun,

Forget about meeting women in bars. You'll have to be properly introduced to them through a friend before they trust you. So, start making friends.

How about trying to join thios club -- http://www.bangalore-expatriate-club.com/

brishti · Feb 13th, 2008, 12:04

Indjun: as crvlvr said - walking upto a woman is a no-no-no-no in india. what you do in miami is redundant here, as is the reverse. when in rome...
meet up with IM members in BLR and take it from there. join salsa classes

film clubs - places where you are a member and thus get to meet other folks. google for activities in the city.

:brishti

vargoje3 · Feb 13th, 2008, 12:24

Indjun i agree and disagree with your statements. I've never been to Bangalore but have been to bars across Southern India and i agree with the fact that men far outweigh men in attendance. As to your claim that you found people unsociable i disagree. I every bar i visited i always had people coming up to me and striking up conversations. I met a lot of good friends at Indian bars. It could be because i'm a vellacara however.

crvlvr · Feb 13th, 2008, 13:14

vargoge, just curious.. Was it the men or the women who were coming up to you and striking conversations?

vargoje3 · Feb 13th, 2008, 13:20

Oh always men, don't think i ever talked to another Indian women in a bar outside of Goa. Met a few Indian girls in Goa that were very friendly and very beautiful.

brishti · Feb 13th, 2008, 14:25

i got this sneeeaky feelin that miami-blues is talkin about 'em ladies nary givin him the 'how-are-you-i'm-fine-thank-you' vibes. i doubt indjun's got men on his mind in pubs/bars/lounges!

:brishti

vargoje3 · Feb 13th, 2008, 14:31

Haha i didn't go to India to meet women in bars so it was all good to me! But your right Indjun prob isn't looking for male bonding.

brishti · Feb 13th, 2008, 14:46

and yet you met 'em friendly beautiful lasses in goa vargoje

what do they say about a watched kettling never boiling???

:brishti

vargoje3 · Feb 13th, 2008, 14:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by brishti

and yet you met 'em friendly beautiful lasses in goa vargoje

what do they say about a watched kettling never boiling???

:brishti

I was a complete gentleman lol.

Indjun · Feb 14th, 2008, 06:00

What is a 'vellacara'?

I went to Bangalore meetups using Meetup.com and I swear to God it was all men! I asked the folks if women ever showed up and they said rarely. I wonder is it totally OK with the locals to always be hanging out with men? I see it everywhere - only men hanging with men. Where are the women in this country?

vir · Feb 14th, 2008, 06:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indjun

What is a 'vellacara'?

I went to Bangalore meetups using Meetup.com and I swear to God it was all men! I asked the folks if women ever showed up and they said rarely. I wonder is it totally OK with the locals to always be hanging out with men? I see it everywhere - only men hanging with men. Where are the women in this country?

Women are hanging out with other women or with family

I suggest you become member of Orkut. Its huge in India. It seems like all the young IT Professional and Collge going people in India are on Orkut.

crvlvr · Feb 14th, 2008, 06:37

vella = white; kara = person

Women tend to hang out in their own cliques with burly men. If you want to meet women, make conversation with the men with them and if you are nice enough, they might introduce you to the girls. I hear that expats (with accents) are looked upon favorably. All you have to do is get your foot in the door.

BTW, some of these clubs have "ladies nights" are the ratios any better there?

Here is one related link http://bangalore.indivibe.com/events

vargoje3 · Feb 14th, 2008, 10:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indjun

What is a 'vellacara'?

Tamil word meaning white skinned.

Zsu · Feb 17th, 2008, 02:39

Hi,

My name is Zsuzsanna. I will be relocating to Bangalore for a year on an expat assignment. (in about 3 weeks)
Are there more clubs for foreigners in Bangalore? Is the club bangalore-expatriate-club still active?

Feb 13th, 2008, 04:47	#1
Indjun Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Miami-Bangalore Posts: 74	Social life in Bangalore Hi, I will be relocating to Bangalore, India for a year on an expat assignment. In the last year I have been to India eight times for business. During these times I have tried to imagine myself living in this country, as I knew this expat assignment was forthcoming. Right off the bat I knew that lifestyle would take a huge hit, and I have now come to accept that. However, what I am having a hard time accepting is the impact on my social life. I am from the Miami area where the nightlife is world renowned. Beautiful women are aplenty and it is totally acceptable to approach strangers to strike up conversation. I’ve visited Mumbai, Delhi and Bangalore, and while a club/bar/lounge scene exists, it is so different. First off, the ratio of men to women is staggering with men far outweighing the women. Second, the clubs in Bangalore all close at 11pm making it hard to find your groove. Finally, it seems like everyone comes in packs and never associates outside their pack. If you approach someone they look at you strangely, and if you’re lucky enough to break down their barriers their friends are not far behind to pull them away. What advice would you give a single Westerner (of Indian descent) who enjoys nightlife and socializing? Since approaching strangers is such a faux pas are there alternatives such as social networking websites? Would I have to limit myself to fellow expats? What lounges/bars/clubs would you suggest? If so, where would they frequent? I’ve been to Spinn, Fuga, NASA, Taika, Hint, Vaayu and a few others. I will be there by myself and do not want to mix business and pleasure with my customers so befriending them on that level is not an option. Any secrets to crack the code would be appreciated.

Feb 13th, 2008, 05:19	#2
crvlvr Guru Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Hollywood Posts: 4,498	Indjun, Forget about meeting women in bars. You'll have to be properly introduced to them through a friend before they trust you. So, start making friends. How about trying to join thios club -- http://www.bangalore-expatriate-club.com/ Last edited by crvlvr : Feb 13th, 2008 at 06:29.

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Feb 13th, 2008, 12:04	#3
brishti just another member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: india Posts: 2,172	Indjun: as crvlvr said - walking upto a woman is a no-no-no-no in india. what you do in miami is redundant here, as is the reverse. when in rome... meet up with IM members in BLR and take it from there. join salsa classes film clubs - places where you are a member and thus get to meet other folks. google for activities in the city. :brishti

Feb 13th, 2008, 12:24	#4
vargoje3 Fishing Master Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Bakersfield, CA Posts: 177	Indjun i agree and disagree with your statements. I've never been to Bangalore but have been to bars across Southern India and i agree with the fact that men far outweigh men in attendance. As to your claim that you found people unsociable i disagree. I every bar i visited i always had people coming up to me and striking up conversations. I met a lot of good friends at Indian bars. It could be because i'm a vellacara however.

Feb 13th, 2008, 13:14	#5
crvlvr Guru Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Hollywood Posts: 4,498	vargoge, just curious.. Was it the men or the women who were coming up to you and striking conversations?

Feb 13th, 2008, 13:20	#6
vargoje3 Fishing Master Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Bakersfield, CA Posts: 177	Oh always men, don't think i ever talked to another Indian women in a bar outside of Goa. Met a few Indian girls in Goa that were very friendly and very beautiful.

Feb 13th, 2008, 14:25	#7
brishti just another member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: india Posts: 2,172	i got this sneeeaky feelin that miami-blues is talkin about 'em ladies nary givin him the 'how-are-you-i'm-fine-thank-you' vibes. i doubt indjun's got men on his mind in pubs/bars/lounges! :brishti

Feb 13th, 2008, 14:31	#8
vargoje3 Fishing Master Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Bakersfield, CA Posts: 177	Haha i didn't go to India to meet women in bars so it was all good to me! But your right Indjun prob isn't looking for male bonding.

Feb 13th, 2008, 14:46	#9
brishti just another member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: india Posts: 2,172	and yet you met 'em friendly beautiful lasses in goa vargoje what do they say about a watched kettling never boiling??? :brishti

Feb 14th, 2008, 06:00	#11
Indjun Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Miami-Bangalore Posts: 74	What is a 'vellacara'? I went to Bangalore meetups using Meetup.com and I swear to God it was all men! I asked the folks if women ever showed up and they said rarely. I wonder is it totally OK with the locals to always be hanging out with men? I see it everywhere - only men hanging with men. Where are the women in this country?

Feb 14th, 2008, 06:37	#13
crvlvr Guru Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Hollywood Posts: 4,498	vella = white; kara = person Women tend to hang out in their own cliques with burly men. If you want to meet women, make conversation with the men with them and if you are nice enough, they might introduce you to the girls. I hear that expats (with accents) are looked upon favorably. All you have to do is get your foot in the door. BTW, some of these clubs have "ladies nights" are the ratios any better there? Here is one related link http://bangalore.indivibe.com/events

Feb 17th, 2008, 02:39	#15
Zsu Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 16	Hi, My name is Zsuzsanna. I will be relocating to Bangalore for a year on an expat assignment. (in about 3 weeks) Are there more clubs for foreigners in Bangalore? Is the club bangalore-expatriate-club still active?

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