How to prepare a 14 year old?

SFtoBLR

We are moving over in a mid July, and am wondering how others prepared their teenagers? At first she was thrilled with the idea, but as we've been discussing different aspects she's getting a little overwhelmed i.e. "I don't even want to HEAR about the toilets!" She says she wants to hear nothing - just find out as she goes.

Being the total opposite myself (the more I know the better) I'm not sure how to proceed here. What are the basics she need to know, what can we afford to leave to chance? I'm not overly concerned about her getting into trouble - she's a smart, well mannered, responsible kid and other than school will not be w/o us.

She does want to know about the potential for a social life though. Are there many US kids her age there? Are the local kids friendly with outsiders?

Any advice appreciated!

Thanks,
Lisa

jyotirmoy

All depends on where you stay. Bangalore is a cosmopolitan city with lots of expats. Can't say whether there is a big population of US expats though.
Indians are in general friendly people. Your daughter will have friends in no time. Have you thought about schooling?

Piper

Agreed; if you have not already done som you should consider looking into the schooling aspect ASAP, as international schools can be tricky (lots of choice, lots of different curriculum/styles, etc.). Many ppl I know have said their kids really notice a big difference in the amt of homework that the schools here have. Class sizes in schools tend to be smallish, but I've been told it is fairly easy for the kids to make friends. See if you can connect with other expat parents & pick their brains (maybe someone from your company?).

Yes, the area you end up living in will make a difference. There are typical expat communities that many people with families opt to go with, but some of these are quite far from the center of town. Others may opt to stay more centrally for ease of access to the city during free time. Depends on what you find meets your needs better.

Might want to consider joining one of the expat clubs in town (like overseas womens club or bangalore expatriate club) which might make it easier to meet other parents with teens.

Ignite

Hi SFtoBLR, i'm sure your daughter will make friends in no time at all. Indians are human, so yes they do have a social life, but they just try to balance it out with the immense amount of school work they have.

I noticed in your profile you said you're only moving for a year, so i'm guessing your daughter is going to come back in time to prepare for SAT's and apply for college and all. So keeping this in mind, I would suggest you try to look for a school in bangalore which has SAT prep classes, and in case you can't find any, then I would highly recommend you take a couple books with you when you go to India. Because, remember you can never practice too much SAT, especially the new one with the writing portion (mine was the first class to take it!!).

Hope you have a wonderful experience with your new life and don't forget to tell us all about it!

__________________
When life gives you a lime..........drink Tequila.

jyotirmoy

There are coaching centres for SAT in all Indian metros.

SFtoBLR

We've looked into school quite a bit, a thread here was very helpful in fact and my husband's manager is very experienced with Bangalore and has given us some great advice. His company will provide us with a local relo "coordinator" (I love corpospeak!) who will help us make the final decision. Given the state of American education these days I am certain she will have a bit of school culture shock as well!

dhans

Having been expat for some years (in another country, with much younger kids though) I would say don't underestimate it, but neither overestimate it. Do not worry too much about the education, even if she "loses" (wrong term) a year. She gains a lot of invaluable experience.

If she likes to read, I would suggest: Abdul's Taxi to Kalighat - A celebration of Calcutta by Joe Roberts, gives you a bit of a feel for the land.

have fun,

Hans

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Tips for trips to India with (young) children: India with kids
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KateW

My teenage children settled in very quickly although tears at first and tempers about leaving all their friends behind. Alot of the children at the International schools are all in the same boat so soon bond with newcomers.
Can't comment on Bangalore as we are in Delhi

Hope it all goes well

SFtoBLR

Thanks all for the advice. I'll look for the book - any others let me know!

the opoponax

If my parents had put me in SAT prep classes in freshman or sophomore year of high school I would have DIED. In fact, I don't recall ever taking a prep class for standardized tests, and I did fine and got into a nice selection of rather prestigious universities. Bombed the PSAT, if I recall, which is the only one we had in-school required prep for. What a meaningless test...

Aside from that, have you thought that maybe she doesn't want to hear about the toilets (and other potentially delicate/'icky' things) not because she really doesn't want to know, but because she doesn't want to talk about it with her parents? I remember going through a phase around that age where I wanted to have as little as possible to do with those weird adults who seemed to also be living in my house. I also remember going away to boarding school at 16, and the entire summer before, my mother would pull me aside and get all over-serious about yet another detail of the whole thing. When of course I was probably 20 times more prepared for it than she was.

So I can imagine her thinking, "omigod why does my mother want to talk about toilets every time she sees me?".

Ignite

Well, its personal choice whether you want to get started on the SATs early or not or if you want to take any prep classes at all. But I think if your going to take them, then you kind of may want to start preparing for them some time during your sophomore year, since you have to take the actual test during your junior year. Besides Opo, you probably took the older version, which to me would have been A LOT easier than the new version we had to take.

Lisa, the only "hurdle" your daughter has to get through, I think, would be the immense amount of work load a student has in the Indian schooling system. Other than that, I'd say she'd be perfectly alright. O wait, do let her know that shes going to be getting a LOT of attention from all the indian guys while shes there!

the opoponax

1. I took the SAT 3 times between my sophomore year of high school and the first semester of my senior year. You do not "have to" take it your junior year, you just have to take it in time for your chosen schools to get your scores. Which is only junior year if you apply early decision, which, seriously, is like less than 1% of kids. And, OK, this is just my personal opinion, but an entire year (or more!) of SAT test prep?! Slit my wrists NOW. There are days I'm glad I grew up in BFE where nobody cares about this stuff and helicopter parents pretty much haven't been invented yet (or at least not regarding academics). Back 10 years ago when I went through all this, the most obsessive kids took a 6-week course first semester of junior year.

2. The SAT has actually become easier in the decade since I took it. They've recentralized the scores at least once since then, making it easier to score that perfect 1600. It's only 'harder' now in that there's a writing section which means you have to be capable of a certain degree of rational thought - you can't just memorize trig factoids and be certain to ace it. Anyone who is even vaguely literate should find the test easier with the writing section, not harder.

3. This is so OT...

Ignite

"In 2005, the test was changed again.......The test was made marginally harder, as a corrective to the rising number of perfect scores. A new writing section, with an essay, based on the former SAT II Writing Subject Test, was added, in part to increase the chances of closing the opening gap between the highest and midrange scores."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SAT

Also, the new SAT math section is a lot harder as well

"The College Board decided that the math section on the SAT I of old was a bit too easy as many students were scoring perfect raw scores, leading to test grade inflation. In addition, college admissions officers complained that the test did not actually assess math skills ....."

http://proprofs.com/mwiki/index.php?..._vs._Ol d_SAT

Also, do keep in mind that the new SAT that we had to take was longer than the old one (running almost 4 hours long, starting on a early saturday morning @ 8AM, and ending at around 1PM, with only one 10 min. break and another two 1 min. breaks in between )

I personally thought the old SAT was easier, because on the new SAT I had to write a essay in 25 mins. which I do not think is enough at all to write a well structured and thought-out essay.

And when I mentioned the SAT's to Lisa, I also meant the subject SAT tests not just the regular SAT's.
And this is sooooo

the opoponax

Good luck with that whole "college" thing.

Ignite

Thanks!! , i'm actually doing quite alright right now, especially since in college we actually have 50 mins. to write an essay