Taking young baby to Kerala as expat! Advice please!

Sophie_GCIS

Hello Everyone!

My husband is setting up a business in Trivandrum. I lived in Trivandrum with him for the first 3 months of my pregnancy and then really hit rock bottom with illness (relentless morning sickness, heat, delhi belly, dehydration, food aversion to curry of all things!!). Im a very seasoned traveller but nevertheless, being pregnant was a different matter entirely to normal expat life in such a foreign country. I am now having the baby in France where my parents are and my husband visits periodically and will be here for the birth. He wants me to join him again in India within 4 months of the babies life. I am a loyal wife but I am having countless sleepless nights at the thought.

Any of your thoughts or advice on coming over with a very small baby would be appreciated.

Regards

Sophie

capt_mahajan

Do they even let you fly with such a small baby?
(Edit: Yes, they do, my wife flew with a six month old to Calcutta years ago... a domestic flight )

I would say give it a few more months, around when the baby is a year old..

federica

Sophie, I can understand that you are worried. And I guess you can't take a decision right now, as the baby is not born yet. Maybe you'll feel much better after giving birth... Nobody knows.

The climate in Trivandrum can be quite tough, so maybe it is better to have another try after the second monsoon in November?

Is your husband from Kerala? I can understand that he wants to live with you and see the baby growing up, but the health of mom and child should be first priority.

Wishing you best of luck and an understanding husband!

Sophie_GCIS

Thank you! My husband is British like me. He is only out there with his friend to make his business in the Technopark, it was meant to be a short term thing but looks like it could be alot more long term than I would like - ie. the next few years. If I went over it would probably be in Jan which is better in climate but still, I would be expected to stay long term and that takes us into monsoon by March/April and the baby will be only 6 months old by then. It is very difficult, I want this baby to know its father and I dont want to be the cause of them being apart but maternal instinct is kicking in so strongly now!

Thanks for you reply.

Sophie

federica

Monsoon will start only at the beginning of June. April/May can be hot, but if you have lived for some months there, you won't feel much difference anymore.

I would not recommend in your case to stay during the monsoon period, as more infectious diseases are around.

Maybe you can have a talk with your doc about it. He knows better about the risks for the baby.

brownboy66

flying with a young baby is not problem. Our children are now 11,8, and 4 but all of them took a plane trip within the first 6-8 months. The trickiest part is the logistics of deciding what you can and can't take on board with you - and whether the airlines/ airport will allow you to take a pram up to the airbridge - (and in case you're wondering why you need a pram its because waiting around for a plane in the departure area while carrying your hand luggage and baby gear gets very heavy if you have to hold baby as well).

Moving anywhere with a baby is hard simply because there is so much stuff to take with you. I completely understand, however, your wish to be close to your husband - and to be honest if I were him I would want the newborn somewhere nearby as well. Important considerations?

1) vaccinations - depending on what your family doctor says it may be that your newborn will not have had sufficient vaccinations to travel. I forget what the time frame is (it was a long time ago) but I seem to remember the first 3-6 months are pretty busy with jabs. Your doctor will advise.

2) medical facilities where you are going. If you're a new parent - then its going to take time to get used to your baby - and understand what is a "I'm grumpy/wet/hungry/tired" cry, and what is a "somethings wrong" cry. When its the latter you'll need to get to/ have access to medical facilities (and you may need them quickly). If you did go you would need to know this before hand (not during).

3)Family. Having your family around during the first few months is vital. It means you are supported - and they get the chance to know the baby (plus you gain a whole new appreciation for your parents). Having said that - you husband is family, and dad. You are the parents and it doesn't get any closer than that.

4)As you probably already know - the first few months will revolve around getting sleep when you can (unless you have one of the babies that sleeps through the night 2 weeks after birth - which is so unfair)! For a baby - that means being dry, warm, safe, and fed. If all of the above is present - they should sleep (unless they're really active from day one - welcome to our world). The food situation becomes important in making that happen - regardless of whether you are bottle feeding or breast feeding. If its the former - sterilisation of everything is important (bottles, milk, formula, etc). If its the latter - then you will need access to good food to ensure your supply to the baby is ok (and even with good food it doesn't take into account whether or not baby is sensitive to some foods and not others via breast milk).

So - lots of decisions to be made. I'm sure talking to your doctor/ husband/ and family will help to work it out.

good luck.

__________________
"the last meal is history - its the next one that's important" - Garfield (the cat)
IndiaMike Mod Team.... just some plonker with access to the mod tools

Nick-H

Trivandrum! for warm read cool!

What an excellent post.

__________________
.


Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

Anna_N

Hi Sophie

I am an Aussie living in India in Andhra Pradesh for the last 2 years. I had my baby here one year back (an excellent experience by the way!)and travelled with her for holidays to Kerala when she was 5 months, to Australia when she was 8 months, and in mid-June I am taking her back to Kerala for another holiday (she is now 1).

I have to say that little babies are the easiest to travel with - I wouldn't worry about the flights - international or domestic. Of course it depends on the individual, but most babies just sleep constantly for the first few months. After 2 months you will know if you have a crying baby or not (pray not). If not, it will be no problems travelling at all. I found it really easy to travel with my baby, assisted by the fact that I breast fed her the whole time(not done publicly in India but it never stopped me!),so hot wholesome and sterile food on demand was never a problem and she has never been sick yet (love that passive immunity).

As for optimal timing (age of baby, season in Kerala), you should find out from a travel doctor (not your regular GP) and your obstetrician/paediatrician- what are the key health risks to a baby of this age and at this time in Kerala. Malaria is one to find out about, especially during monsoon time. Malaria is easily preventable and treatable these days and outbreaks are usually well known and well reported in the media. I don't know what else might be a problem.

Lastly I would highly recommend having/raising a baby in India. The affordability of domestic help and the very loving/family oriented culture makes home life (particularly for rookie/new mums and dads like us) as easy as it can be, and therefore as awesome as it can be. My personal freedom and quality of life is far greater than it would be in Australia as a result. And despite dearly missing my family at home, I know that the support I 'pay' for here is much greater than I would get 'for love' at home. And the babies are adored by absolutely everyone here... you will be shocked how warmly men react to babies, it's nice. Sometimes it's a little too much, but if that's all one can complain about.....!!

Good luck with the birth - it's awesome stuff.

Nick-H

Lovely post, Anna

Breast-feeding is done publicly, but very discretely. The sari helps to make it a private operation. Only the other day, when we were going out, my wife told me to look the other way when taking the car out of the drive as a girl was sitting on our wall feeding here child. I like my wife's story about how other women will scold a staring man: Hey! Go home and stare at your wife! Hey! You think she's got anything your mother or your sister doesn't have? This based on episodes of female solidarity she'd seen on buses.

edwardseco

I'll go with the Capt. here since some minimal immunities need to be there. Take Pedialyte and when there determine at least one good pediatrician and hospital nearby. We took ours at 11 months and it was a great trip all in all because we wanted him to build a relationship with family in India. Had one real bad event later so be aware and don't take dehydration lightly in a child..

Inua

I don't know about hospitals in Trivandrum but Lake Shore Hospital in Cochin is by far the cleanest and most comprehensive health care provider in Kerala. You can check out their website of the same name.