White, American woman traveling to India for first time...nervous

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#1 May 6th, 2014, 12:50
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#1
Im going to India in the winter to be with my fiance who is originally from India, and he tells me Ill get alot of attention. Im tall, 5'11 with pale skin, and I know Ill stand out alot. I don't do well with stares and can't imagine what would happen if I got groped or something (or what my fiance would do). Ive read some horror stories but also some very good stories and I would like to know about your personal experiences. Just trying to see what I should expect (:

Thank you!
#2 May 6th, 2014, 13:08
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#2
Stares will be there because even beautiful indians are stared at. As for groping, be a little conscious of your surrounding and you'll be fine I guess. But then again I'm indian so can't say.
#3 May 6th, 2014, 13:15
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I never got groped on any metro, bus or train and I was alone. Where they did try was when 2 boys had their cameras out trying to take photos without asking and before I knew it one as his arm over my shoulder trying to grope. I realised what he was doing and he got a very fast, hard elbow in the ribs and shouted at. Don't pose for photos with the boys!

You'll get stared at anyway, not much you can do about that. Just don't wear vests, tight fitting tops or show cleavage or leg... makes the staring a whole lot worse.
#4 May 6th, 2014, 15:54
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Quote:
Im going to India in the winter to be with my fiance who is originally from India ...
Where in India? It makes a difference .
#5 May 6th, 2014, 17:46
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#5
Quote:
Originally Posted by EllaEnchanted View Post Im going to India in the winter to be with my fiance who is originally from India, and he tells me Ill get alot of attention. Im tall, 5'11 with pale skin, and I know Ill stand out alot. I don't do well with stares and can't imagine what would happen if I got groped or something (or what my fiance would do). Ive read some horror stories but also some very good stories and I would like to know about your personal experiences. Just trying to see what I should expect (:

Thank you!
Being nervous is ok but don't panic.

Spend some time on this site and read some threads like this... Living in a joint family for a European
#6 May 6th, 2014, 18:16
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#6
Welcome to IndiaMike, EllaEnchanted!

As many others here have said, you will be stared at. It's mainly because you are different, and when it happened to me, I didn't take it personally.

I was nervous when I went to India the first time, too. Please feel free to read my blog.
#7 May 6th, 2014, 18:27
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Hi EllaEnchanted,

Welcome to IndiaMike!!!!
#8 May 6th, 2014, 23:30
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Well Ill be going to pune where he lives and works, then to Nagpur where his parents are, and finally to a village in Punjab to meet the rest of his relatives. That last one is the one im most worried about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick-H View Post Where in India? It makes a difference .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Methodix_Climber View Post Hi EllaEnchanted,

Welcome to IndiaMike!!!!
Hi and thank you! (:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick-H View Post Where in India? It makes a difference .
We'll be spending alot of time in a village in Punjab where he grew up.
#9 May 6th, 2014, 23:48
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You will be stared at. Groping maybe, maybe not. The advice above is good. I've traveled with women who dressed appropriately, did the right things, and it still happened; spent time with some in too-short shorts and tank tops, nothing. Be aware. Traveling with an Indian man is an ace that most don't have up their sleeves Have a great trip!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure - Marianne Williamson
#10 May 7th, 2014, 00:06
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#10
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Originally Posted by EllaEnchanted View Post Well Ill be going to pune where he lives and works, then to Nagpur where his parents are, and finally to a village in Punjab to meet the rest of his relatives. That last one is the one im most worried about.
...
We'll be spending a lot of time in a village in Punjab where he grew up.
As long as you are in the village your fiancÚ's realtives will feel responsible for you. That might mean that you will not be permitted to leave the house unless accompanied by an escort. Under these circumstances anyone who "misbehaves" with you would risk setting off a family vendetta or worse.
#11 May 7th, 2014, 00:20
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#11
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Originally Posted by Golghar View Post ... or worse.
Euripedes' "The Trojan Women"
#12 May 7th, 2014, 01:00
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#12
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Originally Posted by EllaEnchanted View Post We'll be spending alot of time in a village in Punjab where he grew up.
Thanks. That really helps the people with the right experience to give you answers. Anything else would be vague to useless.

Anyway, I only know the other end of the country, so I'll shut up now, apart from adding another: Welcome
#13 May 7th, 2014, 01:15
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Of course you will be expected to wear a dupatta and cover your head with it at appropriate moments. Your mother-in-law to be will brief you on this.

#14 May 7th, 2014, 01:25
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Pune will be very blase about foreigners, Nagpur slightly less so. As noted above, watch out for young men and boys. But in general, India is not what it was a couple of decades ago, and the horror stories you heard are likely to be out of date. Indian women are running around all the big cities wearing shorts now, no one cares. Everyone has seen white people nowadays, at least on TV, the novelty is gone.

Depending on the specific village in Punjab and your in-laws' status in society, you may have the locals squatting in a circle around you and staring and commenting on every move, or you may sit in a smart drawing room with others who used to live abroad and be offered scotch. Quite likely the latter. And no, you won't be groped in the village; that is a potential risk only in crowded city situations.
#15 May 7th, 2014, 02:01
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#15
Really white?

Anyway, ask your fiancÚ about charun sparsh and pick up a bit of Punjabi..
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