Marriage/India Women

Glad I am marrying a Bhutia from Sikkim....

The Bhutias don't do the Dowry procedure and this is reflected in the place of a daughter within the family. No hassles caused by pending financial ruin ( my Father in Law to be has 4 daughters and no problems at all)
This may be because the Bhutias are Bhuddist or because they are a scheduled caste that has kept its own cultural identity more or less intact.


Robert

That guy is confusing India with Thailand. He should seriously consider going to Thailand instead, but be smart enough not to start financially supporting some clever bum of a lady. But he might find his happiness in Thailand. I dont think India is a good country for what he expects to find.

well, he only had 5 posts and never came back so I guess he got the hint....

Thanks, IMers, for sharing all your experiences about being married to Indian women! It was interesting to read. Know of a thread where I can comiserate with people about being married to an Indian man? Just kidding...they really aren't all that bad, especially when they're sleeping.

Too bad the OP thinks he has to look halfway around the world to find his "ideal" woman. If he wants someone not materialistic, perhaps he needs to convert to Amish religion and go from there...

Ahahahaa

So true. Sending their daughter to USA or UK is an obsession for Indian families.

As to the guy who started the thread, I personally wouldn't criticize him. Just his best choice would be Thailand, not India. In India its so complicated. In Thailand he will find a girl much younger than he is and she will be happy to spend time with him and accept his support. That kind of think is very common in their culture. But it would be an aberration in Indian cultures. Am I wrong?

Ah, it would also work in the Philippines...I know a fellow who got "caught" there!

Yeah, I think that's a cultural thing. Women there are more independent as far as relationships and marriage are concerned, there is also a very favourable public opinion towards age difference, more emphasis on love in marriage (as opposed to arranged marriages to members of own caste), you can approach women whom you like directly (very uncommon in India, you need to get introduced thru friends/family and prior to that be accepted as a possible good match). Which makes starting relationships very difficult in India. In those other regions, on the contrary, its super easy and may even be favourably looked upon. He will get the praise he wants for such a relationship there and the values he is bragging about (honesty, being able to live simply, trustworthiness, stability) are in high respect in those regions. He may find his perfect match.

Be he should be careful when deciding to start supporting his dear financially, as in those regions its common to accept the moneys not being faithful. I suggest he uses a private investigator to find out whether his would-be-spouse is honest and faithful to him (many are).

So, culturally his dream region is Thailand, then maybe Philippines, I think you are correct in you suggestion. Also, as he doesn't intent to be picky as regards the social circles from which a potential partner is coming, he may find a very good match personality-wise, just not regarded top class by the local snobs (I mean a girl from the North, with a darker skin, whereas fairer skin is considered high class). But he must not fall in love with a prostitute, as although be she given her fair chance to abandon the trade, she may do just that, but she is also likely to secretly go on picking up rich tourists and this is a serious risk as far as honesty is concerned. But from what I heard its still not a problem to pick up a honest, average working girl, and she will be looking great and be young (not a problem, but needs to be careful). Alliances without marriage are also alright over there.

So, man, if you are reading this, do not be shy about what you want, I personally support you and commend you on your intentions, but pick a different region. In India, its just too complicated, not worth the efforts in my view - too challenging.

Umm, Not so much. Anymore.

Things have changed and for the middle class (I know, such a vague classification) this is increasingly looked upon as a an option wraught with danger and unnecessary seperation from the family.

True Also the gap in salaries for managers and professionals has decreased! It used to be about 1: 10 (India:US). It has since declined to about 1:2-3. This is by converting from rupees to dollars at the exchange rate and is for the types of persons that would have gone overseas for study and could have acquired an H1 visa in the US. Besides income tax rates have come down quite a bit and marginal tax rates are lower in India.