Indian Girl + Australian Boyfriend

jc136376

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post on India mike and my boyfriend and I are going on our first backpacking trip to India in Jan-Feb. I am a young Fijian-Indian girl who was born in Australia, hence why I have never been to India before, my boyfriend is a young white Australian. I am worried about how we might be perceived in India walking around? Will we be harassed? We both realise not to display any affection in public. What can we do to help the situation? I am going to buy an appropriate Salwaar Kameez when I get to Delhi and not wear anything low-cut, tight, without sleevers and no thongs etc... but I also plan to wear loose fitting jeans and a loose long-sleeved flowy top and ofcourse he is going to dress really respectfully. Would it help if we told people we are married?? What else should we be wary of?

Our travel plan so far is to fly into Delhi and then catch 2nd class sleeper trains everywhere (hopefully). We've planned:
Delhi (6nights) - Agra (1day) - Lucknow (2nights) - Varanasi (6nights) - Jaipur - long trip! (3Nights) - Jaisalmer - too cold for camel safari?? (3 Nights) - Jodphur (1 Night) - Udaipur (3Nights) - Mumbai - train trip possible?? (6Nights) - Goa (6 Nights) - Bangalore (3 Nights).

Good trip? Keeping in mind I live in far norther hot tropical Australia will I survive in the desert in January? What is best to pack if you are going on a camel safari? Because I really feel the cold I am contemplating buying thermals to go under my SK and loose fitting shirt. Good idea?

Thanks So Much!!!

iyou

First of all, you've planned a very sensible and sane itinerary. You're giving yourselves the right amount of time in each place and not rushing things too much. You'll see a lot more than train stations. Second, native Indians will spot you a mile away for the NRI that you are, and not just because of your gora (white) lover. The way you walk and carry yourself, your personal style, haircut, etc etc. People may pass comments, but that's only because in India it's a popular "time pass", so you just have to tolerate it. Definitely tell people you're married. Ring not required. Tell nosy inquisitors that you live in your husband's parents home and that are planning to have children as soon as you get home. Or else tell them that you don't have any children because you ate them. Sometimes the questions can drive you say strange things.

Above all, enjoy yourself.

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--May a moody baby doom a yam.

Mauritius Queen

Hi jc

How envious am I? We've just returned from 3 weeks travelling round Goa & Mumbai. I'm white English, hubby black Mauritian (of Indian origin), daughter, well mixed to the point of being browner than most Mumbaikers.

Goa was fine because I guess the tourist industry, everyone thought hubby was Goan. 50% didn't have a clue where Mauritius was (why should they - they already live in paradise! and 50% knew of it as they film lots of Bollywood films there so were enthralled to meet people that had been there. Enjoy Goa, it will be a great place to unwind and chill out in your bikini after being a good girl for so long! Head for Palolem beach - Calangute/Candolim/Baga will be busy with package holiday tourists - they had just started arriving as we left.

Mumbai - whoa....! EVERYONE stared. Not sure that a lot of mixed-race couples are the norm, but we certainly attracted a lot of attention, all of it harmless. We just said a friendly hello to everyone to prove we were human!

We met some amazing people in the very short time we had in India and are already planning a trip to Tamil Nadu to trace hubby's ancestors.
Have a wonderful trip.
jane x

ps My brother is married to a Fijian-Indian and they live in Sydney!

__________________
A-la-li-la mama! Dance sega mauricien!

manreet_16

So u r not coming to northern parts of india in himalayas...dear u can't miss the snow fall which i am going to enjoy.....

jc136376

IYou and Mauritius Queen (love the name by the wat ) thanks for your replies. I am feeling much better now and I am sure we will both be fine. IYou I am glad that you think our trip is sensible I was fretting that we were trying to cram way too much in we've allowed ourselves a leway of 1 week as well in case of some unexpected problems or delays which I'm sure is bound to happen.

Mauritius Queen do you think it would be ok to wear loose (but not baggy) jeans, and a long-sleeved hippy style top (not see through) around?

Also I would love to see Himalayan snow but can only cram so much in one trip! Will leave that for another time definately!

Thanks Guys,

Much Appreciated

ronago

my husband loks indian and i'm white woman, both from israel. all the indian people are sure he is indian.
it never made any problem, just better prices....

raos

People will stare...it will feel hostile at times...it will feel funny and absurd at times...you will learn to ignore it for the most part, but not always. Don't believe the line that people are just "curious," IMO it's just plain, good old rudeness, but ultimately it doesn't matter. I highly doubt you will be harassed, except by vendors/hawkers because you're Westerners.

Though an inter-cultural (so to speak b/c you're both Australian) couple is an oddity to a great many Indians, so are Westerners generally, so the staring would happen no matter what.

Telling people you're married will be easier. Dressing conservatively is fine, it may lessen but won't stop the stares.

Sounds like an excellent itinerary, have a great trip!

aadil

I am sure you are going to enjoy your trip out here in India and don't worry about what people say or stare as that is but natural in India whenever the locals see any foreigners and start a conversation or just gape at them as if they were from another planet. I can understand that happening in the remote villages where they don't usually see a foreigner but even in Mumbai and some of the other major metropolitan cities it is the same. Only some places like Goa are a bit relaxed in this regard but even there it is a problem when you are not dressed conservatively. Ofcourse you are taking the right steps to prevent the usual things happening to tourists but then it cannot be totally prevented. If someone pesters you a lot then just stop and stare back at them or just ignore them and do not talk when they try to make silly rascist or sex related comments or ask your name and country and ask for a photograph with them (especially with groups of young guys who have nothing better to do than take pictures with foreign females!!!). If this does not deter them then just start shouting at them at the top of your voice and see what happens when they get a earful from all the other people gathered at the scene who may have also done the same thing but will help you in your time of distress!!!

A loose fitting shirt or top and jeans are excellent especially when you want to wear your thermals in the Rajasthan (and other northern states) winter. And by all means tell everyone who asks that you are married since the last one year and soon expecting a child too!!! Then they will not bother you anymore!!! Even in the hotels you will be asked to show your passports to register the name on the foreigner's 'C' Form that is mandatory but not usually filled up in many small hotels or in some extreme cases like I experienced they would simply say they were full up even if all the rooms were empty (In Bhopal it happened with me and a Spanish friend I was travelling with all over India though I never had a problem anywhere else!!!).

If you have not yet booked your train tickets please do so right now!!! In January it will be peak season for tourists travelling in India specially on the routes you are going so it is preferable to have tickets for the major cities like Mumbai, Bangalore and for Goa. Your itinerary sounds really nice but some of the days in some places are a bit too much which you may wish to cut down and enjoy some other great places in the meantime. Are you not planning to go to Khajuraho, Orchha, Mandu and Bandhavgarh (for the tigers!!!) in Madhya Pradesh?!!! A day or two in each of these places should suffice for a brief but beautiful look at the past which is simply not to be missed!!! I am sure you can cut down on the 6 nights in Varanasi to 3 and also visit Sarnath nearby on a day trip (much better than Varanasi).

Have a wonderful time in India and enjoy the colours, smells, sounds, sights, cuisines, festivals, wildlife, natural beauty, temples, monuments and above all the people of India!!! Have a pleasant flight into India and safe travels wherever you go!!!

Cheers,
Aadil.

__________________
Climb high; climb far;
Your goal, the sky,
Your aim, the stars!!!

Mauritius Queen

Hi Jc

I'm only qualified to comment re Mumbai and Goa and jeans and top would be totally acceptable in both. In Goa nearly anything goes but I would recomend keeping beachwear just for the beach and covering up when off the beach eg trousers or skirt and top. We were flabbergasted to see western tourists walking the streets of Calungute in their bikini tops - now that's asking for trouble, not just for themselves but westerners in general. There were even people going topless on the beach which is just downright ignorant when nudity is frowned upon. But hey that's the difference between people that just jump on a charter plane to 'somewhere hot' and those of us that travel for a reason and care to find out about where they are going! I would recomend not taking too many clothes as they are so cheap to buy out there. Be sure to haggle, maybe leave the boyfriend in the background and approach shops, rickshaws, taxis etc yourself 1st to negotiate a good price and then bring your boyfriend forward as I am sure you will get a better price than a white skinned person - hubby done this all holiday and it worked well although I was better at haggling in shops by far! Start haggling at just unde rhalf what they ask for and work up slowly. They will tell you that it is too little, just what they paid for it, but walk away confidently and they'll be calling you back to give you your price. It's not about haggling them down to their lowest - these guys have a make a living so just go for what you think is good value but a bit less!
The poverty affected me imensley. I was expecting it but it was far worse than I ever imagined. In Goa we took some kids clothes out to Rob & Shermina at the Children Walking Tall charity and were lucky enough to go with them to 2 slums and meet the children and families that they are working with. Although we'd seen that we were shocked beyond belief in Mumbai to see toddlers walking the street naked with nothing to their name. I don't think anything can really prepare you for it and I think it has made all 3 of us very much stronger people for it.
Re the staring - it'll happen, just try and ignore them, or if like me it really winds you up, I find a nice strong hearty laugh does you good and makes them think your completely crackers, but hey at least they're staring at you for a reason then.
Have a wonderful time, your itinerary sounds fantastic.
Happy memories
jane x

Mauritius Queen

Ok guys sorry for the multiple replies above but I kept getting a negative response saying server not found and hey ho it was telling porky pies!

Nick-H

MQ... if you click on 'edit' you get the opportunity to delete a post. Or maybe a passing mod might tidy up for you.

A smile goes a long wy towards disarming a stare, and if you can master the Great Indian Head Wobble, the stare will often turn into a big grin

jc136376

Hi Guys,
Thank-you sincerely for taking the time to reply in detail. Aadil to be honest I have only heard of Khajuraho and not the other place However I will chech out Orchha, Mandu and Bandhavgarh - 3 nights in Varanasi is sounding like more and more of a good idea as I am hearing mixed reports about it and am now imaging it to be somewhat different from what I first had imagined and 3 days does seem sufficient.

I like the sound of Sarnath very much and will definately be going there what is the best way to get there, bus or train considering I am on a budget? Aadil you recommended getting train tickets now - would it be best to get and indiarail pass off the internet? Mauritius Queen - to be honest I am really worried about confronting the poverty as well... I will have to learn to deal with it in some way...

Thanks Again
I promise this is the last time I will hastle you guys!

aadil

>>>> Thank-you sincerely for taking the time to reply in detail. Aadil to be honest I have only heard of Khajuraho and not the other place However I will chech out Orchha, Mandu and Bandhavgarh - 3 nights in Varanasi is sounding like more and more of a good idea as I am hearing mixed reports about it and am now imaging it to be somewhat different from what I first had imagined and 3 days does seem sufficient.

I like the sound of Sarnath very much and will definately be going there what is the best way to get there, bus or train considering I am on a budget? Aadil you recommended getting train tickets now - would it be best to get and indiarail pass off the internet? Mauritius Queen - to be honest I am really worried about confronting the poverty as well... I will have to learn to deal with it in some way...

Thanks Again
I promise this is the last time I will hastle you guys!


Hi there,

First of all you are not hassling me at all!!! It is a pleasure to be able to help and share good and bad experiences in my travels with anyone who is going or planning to go the same way!!! You are most welcome to ask any number of questions, anytime!!!

About Sarnath it is not some place different from Varanasi as you can go in an autorickshaw from Varanasi for about a couple of hundred rupees (I paid Rs230 for a five hour trip in April this year) for the whole trip including going to all the buddhist temples (belonging to all the countries where buddhism is practiced) as well as the Archeological Survey Of India Museum (where you can see the top of the Sarnath Ashoka Pillar with the four lion heads which is the emblem of India) and the Buddhist Stupa and Ashoka Pillar and gardens with the ancient temples and monasteries. It is in a very serene and peaceful place and I am sure you will love it there. There is also a saree manufacturing shop that you can visit in the area where the locals make the famous Banarasi saree. Do visit the Benaras Hindu University for the Bharat Kala Bhavan if you are interested in art and miniature paintings of the olden days.

Orchha is on the way from Khajuraho to Jhansi if you want to see some lovely cenotaphs built by the local kings along the Betwa river and the Temples with the art on the ceilings and walls are just fantastic. The Jehangir Mahal is a nice place to stay in also if you are lucky as they don't have too many rooms there, built for the Moghul Emperor Jehangir for one night's stay when he visited the place!!! You could be lucky to get a room there if you wish for not too high a price. The hotel is also a part of the palace that all tourists come to visit in Orchha so you will get a first hand experience from your hotel room which is infact a palace!!!

About Bandhavgarh it is near Satna which is also the mid point you may have to go to reach some of the places in Madhya Pradesh if you are travelling by bus or train from or to Varanasi. It has the best tiger seeing (in the natural wilderness) in India and I have experienced it too so I can vouch for it.

When you are in Mumbai it will be nice to catch up on travel stories if you wish with a cup of tea or coffee!!! And also maybe show you around my city.

I don't know if it will be a good idea to get an Indrail pass but you can check in the train forum if you wish. More people who have used it will be able to advise you better. I for one have not used one so I cannot tell how useful it may or may not be. Sorry about that one, can't help there.

About the poverty in India you will either have to empty all your pockets and there will still be a long queue of beggars and their well trained kids waiting to get something from you or you can learn to say no to anyone who comes up to you asking for alms or better still just ignore them totally or look through them and they will go away. Please do not encourage beggars in India, their tribe is only growing with all the encouragement they get from tourists and people who give them money. Try giving them anything else like food and see how they react!!! Sometimes they even ask you to buy things for them from a shop and they will buy the largest available pack of anything you decide to gift them so be wary of their cheating ways.

Cheers,
Aadil.

crvlvr

Looks like you have done your research..


On the street, you might be better off if you told people you work together. Except when you are checking into hotels. there "we are married" might be more appropriate.