hi, English India traveller

lits

I have just recently joined this site so that i can read as much information about India as possible. I am a older women who has met a younger guy and thinking of going to India to meet him , and he would like me to live there . I know this can be risky , but we have been chatting for a few months and i have seen him on MSN also he chatted to my parents. I am going with my instincts and i am 100% sure i can trust this guy, but am a little worried about traveling to India and how i will be treated,as an older white women with younger Indian guy.

steven_ber

There must be 5 threads started this week with the thread title 'Hi', if you are serious, you need to change the thread title to something that may attract the people who can best help with your questions.

Personally, I think you'd be mad to go to a foreign country to meet a man you don't know.

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livinhimalayas

Well, it may be destiny beckoning, come here see the man, the country and then decide. We have a friend who has just left to marry his white girl-friend who is older to him by several years. But then they have known each other for several years, and lived with and visited each other. I have not seen anyone here making any comments on that. Personally much depends where the guy is from and his social back-ground. Have you spoken to his family or friends?

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dj_yn

hey all the best....i am sure everything will work out.by the way where is this guy from, if i may ask??

traveller.1

A mixed marriage is difficult at best in India, particularly when the wife is a foreigner. When the wife is older then I think the difficulty would be considerably more.

India is a society where the notion of marrying another Indian out side their immediate community is itself fairly new, (within the last ten years or so), and still very uncommon in the general population, but quite acceptable among the affluent. However an older foreign wife, I think would test even the most accepting and affluent.

Its going to be tough

dj_yn

i agree with traveller..thats why i asked where that guy is from..things wont be difficult if he is from a city like mumbai or delhi.....

livinhimalayas

Mixed marriages are difficult anywhere in the world and the age factor hardly counts, I have seen many all Indian couples where the wife is older to the man. I think much depends upon the mental makeup of the two people involved. Negativity from other people is always there and should not be a determining factor unless one feels disturbed by other people's opinions.

Nick-H

My mixed-marriage-in-india isn't difficult!

We are fairly self-contained though.

livinhimalayas

nick as long as you don't let others interfere all is well. My mixed marriage is also not difficult at all mainly because neither of us pays attention to what people say about us nor let it effect us in any way.

lits

Thank you all for the interesting replies, I know it would be very difficult and have thought about all the possible problems but when you love someone from the bottom of your heart sometimes maybe we feel that we can overcome the problems. The guy is from Delhi. Sometimes things are destined to happen and you have to face the consequences along the way. But I have to admit this is giving me a lot of sleepless nights at the moment as I would be giving up my family and homeland, so it is a little scarry , but we love each other. Sometimes we have to take risks in life otherwise we would never go anywhere , that is how i feel . I would try and learn some hindi phrases and I would dress conservative and I would be respectful of his culture, and hopefully people would accept me in time. Yea I do agree it is a big risk.

rav.9999

Well, best of luck then.

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Eastern Mind

One of the great things about dilemmas such as this is that you can always change your mind. So my thoughts would be just to go, find out more about the situation, and see what happens.

Nick-H

Living in India is not a dream, and comes with its own problems and difficulties, whatever the reason that brings you here. Still, it is something that some of choose, and are lucky enough to be able, to do. There is nothing impossible about it!

Same with the relationship. If you have family that are against you, that you have to mix with, then you have problems, to which the best answer may well be don't mix with them! If there are no family (no elders still alive on my wife's side, only two grown-up children), or they accept you, then there is no need to face problems.

If you find people are racist in their attitudes to you, I'd suggest (assuming you want to stay in India) that you move to an area or city that is more cosmopolitan in its attitudes.

I suppose it is about balance: you are wise, of course, not to expect a fairlyland, but do not be too negative either.

For me, my decision that I wanted to live in India came before the relationship, and it is true that gives me a different outlook --- but after some time it all balances out anyway.

livinhimalayas

Second all of what Nick has said about coping when in India.
I wish you best of luck, hope India has the best in store for you including a great man to love and live with.

sagarneel

Considering the fact that you havent met the guy, as you (and others) rightly pointed out, its not gonna be easy (very risky infact)! Good to know that inspite of knowing the fact that its risky, you have the guts to break the shackles and try your stars. Not everything in life is perfect, but thats not a good enough reason for us to stop being unconventional! Welcome to India in advance, wish you a great stay. Chances are you might develop an equally strong(if not stronger) bondage with the country as with your friend. Dont think of what people think, as long as you think what you think is right!

All the best!