advice for solo female travel on train?

CFPhotoGrafie

I am looking to hear specifically from women who have traveled alone by train previously.

My experience already in India, even here in Mumbai, is that everyone STARES at you and not in a polite way.
I will be traveling solo by train (3A) several times between now and late March.

Ladies, what do you do if you are seated in a car with no other women present?
Can you ask to be moved to another seat in same class where there are other women?

If a man speaks to you, do you pretend not to hear or understand?

Or should I simply tell everyone that my partner is waiting for me at destination station?

I've already had some uncomfortable situations where men have approached me on the street while I was waiting for my host after work and tried to "pick me up".

staremperor73

I leave for India next week and I'm incredibly nervous about my overnight train trips. I am also travelling solo, first time for me.

I will be travelling in 2AC and have been told that you can ask to swap once your ticket has been checked if you feel uncomfortable.

Sarah

rondel

I've traveled on the train solo many times and for starters you will simply have to get used to being stared at. It's just the way it is.

I think you'll find that people will want to help you if you're feeling hassled by someone. You can always ask to be moved if you're uncomfortable. Asking to move or pointing out someone who's bothering you may result in more stares and chatting about you. But in my experience if you need to move or not, there are always people around who want to help, or even protect you.

As always in India, on the train there really is no expectation of privacy and people will stare at you. How you negotiate that personal space for yourself and your sense of confidence and belonging in the crowd will no doubt be discovered as you travel the train more.

Having said all this, now I'm wondering...How long are the journeys you're planning on taking? Are you going overnight at all?

bsprasad

Stay Cool,

You are going to be safe in India and that too inside a 3A compartment.

About being Stared: Well, You got to get used to it. People tend to do that. But You will be alright after a couple of days.

People will come forward to help you or to even protect you if needed. Dont worry.

Welcome to India and Hope you have a pleasant and memorable journey.

Sama

I've taken 4 train trips in 2AC and never had any problems whatsoever. three of them were overnight trips, the longest being 17 hours. there were men in the other berths in the compartment and everything was fine. in fact, I probably scared them instead of the other way around!

use common sense, stop worrying, and enjoy your Indian train trip.

__________________
MY INDIA, 2005-2008
"Once you have felt the Indian dust, you will never be free of it." (Rumer Godden, 1975)

wichy

the same to me, esp.with young men. I think 3AC and 2 AS are the best way to travel for solo female, and yes, every time there are some people to help you. And if you feel uncomfortable to be the only woman among men - you can ask the persone who checks tickets and he could move you to another seat.

As for talking with someone who speaks to you - in 2AC and 3AC it's usually a respectable and educated people, who just really interested in talking to a foreign person (Indians are really talkative, esp in trains ). They may stare at you - but not with a bad intention. Usually I use the opportunity and talk with them a lot, asking about their country and their life, and I had lots of really interesting conversations in my 3AC trips!!! If you want more privacy in 3AC - I think you should buy a ticket for the upper birth, and any moment you can go up and read/sleep without being disturbed.

Have a nice trip.

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Past the point of no return...

steven_ber

The staring thing, it's not just because you're a woman, they stare at men as well, it's just curiosity.

This changes if you give a reason for it to change, women with tattoos, or showing more skin than the person is used to seeing.

For men, a smile can turn a stare into a big smile, I’ve no idea if this would be the right thing for a woman to do.

Staring is much less of a problem in 3A, and virtually no problem at all in 2A, unless you give a reason for people to stare.

I’ve a feeling the staring thing is less of an issue if a woman has (and acts with) confidence, if you do the 'victim' thing and think everyone is looking at you, chances are they will be looking.

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Wildhorse

I have been on numerous overnight train trips in India, almost always as a solo (female) traveller, always in 3A or 2A, sometimes with only men in my "compartment", often as the only westerner in the coach.

Never had a problem! The staring is not all that much of a problem in 3A or 2A. People do look but it's not as if I was sitting there facing a wall of stares during the whole trip; they are usually just curious - until one of them gets up the courage and starts talking to me.

I always try to make contact with at least one other person, trying to find out if someone is going to the same destination and to let them know where I'm going so that they can tell me where to get off, if necessary. Sometimes another person makes contact and asks me where I'm from, where I'm going, etc. Quite often this has developed into interesting conversations, not only with families but also with male solo travellers (Indians).

If there are only men in my compartment, obviously I have to talk to a man but for first contacts I'd rather choose an older man than a very young man. I have never felt the need to pretend that a (fictitional) husband was waiting for me. People in 3A and 2A are generally quite OK.

I have never felt unsafe and have never felt the need to change the compartment, not even if there were only men. But I might if there was a group of only young men or only members of the military.

I'm in my forties, by the way, in case this is of any relevance in evaluating my comment.

Sama

agree with the previous three posters....I have never felt unsafe in 2AC or FC and in all trips I was the only westerner. one of my best experiences in India was on the train from Rameswaram to Chennai, 17 hours, and talking with the man in my compartment about all things Indian. when we got to Chennai he made sure to I knew where to go, if I was getting a ride, etc.

CFPhotoGrafie and staremperor73, stop worrying and enjoy the ride!

I just booked a train for my 4th trip and have two more to book -- can't wait!

namaste_cat

I've never been hassled on a non-local train, thankfully. The staring seems to get better after the first hour or so. I guess it's hard to keep it up!

Agree with the posts - relax & enjoy your trip, ask for upper berth so you can have more privacy, & although you can ask to be moved, for all you know the other space might not have any women either. Never hurts to ask though.

If I ever get on a train where there is a couple or a family, I immediately gravitate to them. Indians are so friendly, they take you under their wing.

I personally do not engage at all with any young men whether on the train or outside. Older men & some middle-aged ones (i.e. my age group) I feel more comfortable with; have to use your judgment.

Depending on the composition of people, I immediately get my book out and start reading so they can stare at me to their heart's content and get it out of their system right away. It also sends a signal to the younger men that I'm not of the "cougar" variety out to score with any of them. For what it's worth, I'm a well-preserved almost 50 year old, with 25 years experience of traveling in India by myself.

PeakXV

Getting approached by strangers is a really, really big part of the Indian experience. The steepness of your learning curve in handling these social confrontations from these squeaky wheels is an important yet simple hurdle in India 101. 99.9% of those approaching hawkers, touts or 'sudden' friends are as harmless as the wall flower nerd at the high school dance. Don't let their verbal 'front' fool you - it's all a facade. Get your street poker face on, sharpen your body language & tongue (if need be) & learn to love it - today!

__________________
What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Don't go to India ~ Pre-trip Warnings & Misconceptions?

*jyoti*

My biggest issue riding the train is finding something to do! Actually, people in the car usually end up staring and pointing as my favorite thing is to bring along my embroidery. I entertain myself embroidering, and everyone else entertains themselves by watching my progress!

I've never had issues with 3 tier AC, although I have had issues in sleeper class with being bothered by men. Just remember what a friend told me, "Be polite to men, but save your smiles & laughter for your (girl) friends." I have many male Indian friends who I trust completely, but this holds true for interacting with strangers.

The likelihood of being the only woman within 8 people is slim, but if it happens simply explain to the conductor that you uncomfortable or ask someone to switch places.

(P.S. After two years, I certainly haven't learned to "love" the attention of random men at street corners. But just remember, it is very rude for a man to start chatting up a stranger, so feel free to give him the cold shoulder. On the train, polite conversation is OK but you are much more likely to err on the side of too friendly than too obtuse, so don't feel obligated to continue if you're uncomfortable. Do engage the aunties. They will gladly protect you! *grin*)

PeakXV

And don't be surprised if sections of your newspaper 'disappear' or if somebody in the next aisle, two back starts craning their neck to read your headlines. Believe or not their not trying to stare, make you feel uncomfortable or 'pick you up' even ... Indian are just a bunch of curious birds really - that's all.

fsg

I cant imagine that someone who calls themselves a photographer has a problem will people staring at her.

Surely it is the other way round, photographer looking for shots to photograph.

Trains/stations are ideal photo ops, low light in the mornings, the chai wallah coming along, the stops you will land at the fruit stalls, railway kids scavenging,

This is India........ you chose to come here , make the most of this superb opportunity, you are seeing it with fresh eyes, that is if they are open.

Take fantastic pix

Peak the paper might even be in the next carriage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The British gave India bureaucracy..... India perfected it [Lord Desai]

CFPhotoGrafie

fsg for what it's worth I am a landscape and architectural/still life photographer, I never intrude on other peoples' privacy and would not DREAM of asking a stranger to photograph them unless they asked me to do so (as happened yesterday)
also my travel guide says any photography in train stations is strictly prohibited (?) for security reasons

I am a very quiet, polite person in my early 40s and do not even like engaging with strangers in my own neighborhood in the States and always prefer my own company as I have severe anxiety disorder and HSP (highly sensitive personality).
I've been in Mumbai 5 days now and still feel nervous leaving the building on my own, even to walk in the park.
I think starting in Mumbai was not the best idea as it is so overwhelmingly crowded, noisy, and confusing.

I will take the advice of those who have suggested an engaging book or a craft project (just got some beads yesterday).

My longest journey is (I think) a 17 hr overnite in 3A class. My host here in Mumbai booked all my tix so on many I am booked in lower berth.


anyway don't want this to get off topic...thanks for the train travel tips (I do feel a tad more reassured, ladies) and hope I will feel better after my first rail journey a little over a week from today