how do I decline an offer of food

crazyfatchick

I am going to India with a new friend. I don't really know anything about the culture, etc., but I'm learning.

Anyway, I went to her house for the 1st time this weekend and I couldn't seem to get her and her husband to stop trying to feed me. LOL Her husband said it is just Indian hospitality.

That's great. the food was great. But there is only so much one can consume. How do I let them know that enough is enough without being rude. I will be staying in their home in India and will sleep the whole time if I eat as much as I did Sunday.

Drews60

As your name indicates you may be a bit chunky, like me, just let them know you are dieting and have reached your limit. I have a double whammy, being diabetic I must pass on sweets and starches. Dang it.

PeakXV

Indians are extremely relentless in their pursuit of filling you stomach. It is 'their duty' they will often tell you and asking you less than 4 times if you would like more -would be very inhospitable if not outright rude. You might feign an upset stomach and/or pack a whoopee cushion under your garments for some telltale auditory effects ... or just do what the most of us do - sit down and enjoy all the good food that is offered to you.

__________________
What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Don't go to India ~ Pre-trip Warnings & Misconceptions?

Hal

I have Type II diabetes and have used it as an excuse to pass on another small mountain of rice or a plate of chappatis. Even so, I'll still get offered more several times. It's just Indian courtesy.

Interestingly enough, my fasting blood sugar went DOWN last time I was India, despite a healthy indulgence in all things carbohydrate. Might have been walking 10 km a day that helped...

Aishah

Type II diabetes would be something for you to 'adopt' as a conversation piece when offered the things you don't want to eat. So that's one idea. (sorry Hal, but you have just given me that idea!)

Another way is just to be firm. You take the smallest portion, even cut it in half, eat that, say it's absolutely delicious, and wonderful cooking, but because you ate something prior to coming you really can't eat another mouthful. Wax eloquent about all the beautiful food in front of you, what a fantastic cook the wife or whoever did it is, but sorry, simply couldn't eat another mouthful. This works for me.

__________________
"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."

ranjan154

Possibly you can say.. before start I had some snacks before leaving for your place...

__________________
Rakesh Ranjan
--------------
http://www.flickr.com/photos/travinfoindia/

crazyfatchick

Oh, I'm definitely way past chunky. I might use a couple of these excuses but I am glad to hear that I won't be insulting anyone if I don't more than one serving. Thanks!

chAos

It'll be trickier to say you've already had something if you're staying at their place, though!

I think it is best to have seconds on at least one thing, or you may, while not insulting them exactly, make them feel a little sad that you didn't like it. So here's a strategy: take VERY TINY portions the first time, take at least one thing a second time, and after that, use one or all of the following methods:

I've found that hosts are almost obligated to ask you something at least 3 times, so just say the same thing 3 times, and don't feel pressured to say yes just because they're repeating. If you say, "ok, sure" after the 2nd time they ask, then when you're finished with that, it will start all over again, so you'll save time if you just say "no" the first 3 times... if that makes sense.

Put your hand over your plate; words are usually not enough on their own.

I agree with Aishah; wax eloquent about how good something tasted.

Use the distraction technique of asking for recipes. "Oh, how did you do this?" or "What do you put in this chutney?" That sort of thing. Actually, you can use non-food reasons to distract, too, and that might actually work better; asking some question about the upcoming wedding could easily re-focus the conversation.

Also, for some reason, saying that you already had it and indicating your empty plate works better than saying you're full.

You can always pull out the Westerner-Not-Used-To-Spices or the Upset-Stomach routines, too, particularly if your friend already knows that you don't have diabetes!

dipydoo

"Oh I am absolutely stuffed" with hand on top of your stomach and a dramatic roll of eyes works quite well .

Seriously, a firm but pleasant no ('bus bus' in hindi) will also do fine.

crazyfatchick

Made this mistake on Sunday - a couple of times. I guess I'm a slow learner.

If the food tastes even as half as good as what I had Sunday, this won't be a problem.

She knows I'm not diabetic so the stomach thing might work. She has only been in the States for a few years but she said she always gets sick when she goes back.

crazyfatchick

This the drama queen in me can do!

MyaTA

Wish I'd had this advice before I went to India! A man on a bus stuffed food into my mouth once after I politely declined his offer half a dozen times.

In the middle east, we simply leave a little food on our plates to signal that we're satiated (too full to finish. Whereas a clean plate indicates you want more). I wonder if that would work in India, too?

Nick-H

That was true in UK when I was a child, too --- but here it is frowned upon as waste.

I don't care, though: I did say I didn't want more!

MyaTA

And what about when this same gentleman on the bus literally dumped half a bag of potato chips into my lap (onto my skirt)... I wonder I should have politely declined that.

crazyfatchick

I don't think I could handle it if someone literally stuffed food in my mouth. Amazing.