Do's and dont's for tourists to India..

LuAnnandJawahar

I'm not sure exactly what everybody was doing yesterday, but you couldn't pass a piece of paper between many couples.

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emjoi

It seems odd to be worried about couples showing affection when I get taken aback by the way my inlaws crush you with hugs and cheek kisses... showing far more emotion in such circumstances than westerners do.

It's just a matter of a different balancing of these things.

navinkurian2002

I agree with emjoi .Its all about the place and the circumstances .If you are amoing villagers in pushkar then its a definate no no to show affection (hug n' kiss) also in a lot of south indian cities (read most cities) . But if you are in mumbai definately (delhi ? ) you do as you please and wear what you want .

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Vasko

Check this link to see what our national epic is all about: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/17/Gallen_Kallela_The_Aino_Tripty ch.jpg

Sorry, this is , but puts things into a cultural perspective.

LindaK

My husband and I will be in Kerala and Tamil Nadu early next year. Please help us understand about not drinking alchohol in public. Does this refer to beer too? Does it refer to restaurants? Is there a difference for men and women?

torryquine

Don't worry, it's fine to drink alcohol in hotels and restaurants, I never noticed any disaproving stares (and I'm female). People might look surprised if you ordered the drinks rather than your husband though. Drunkeness is rightly frowned upon however and it's not something you commonly see. Our overall impression was that Indians don't tend to drink much, but generally do not dissaprove of tourists doing so.

sirensongs

As a western woman who lived a year in each state, I would say -
Yes, beer too, with the exception of very posh restaurants and five-star hotels. I would say yes, definitely there is a difference for men and women, a definite double standard. However, as you are with your husband you will not experience as much negative response as you would if you were traveling alone and chose to do these things. In a star hotel, a lady can discreetly do both without causing too much notice.

Alcohol (not counting homemade toddy) was totally illegal till fairly recently in both states (correct me if I'm wrong folks!), because they were strongholds of Brahmin tradition and to some extent still are. They are among the safer states for women; however in a way they're also the most traditional. Some of the traditions that make them safer for women also restrict our behaviour more. A solo woman there will find some nice conventions; such as ladies' seats on the crowded buses (prevents being groped) and Family Rooms in restaurants (a Family Room is a separate one where solo ladies, as well as ladies with their children, can sit "unmolested" by "gents." Solo men are not allowed there, other than the waiters. There is also no smoking or drinking in such rooms, out of respect for the presence of women and children. I loved it! And if you are solo and choose to sit elsewhere in such places, expect some weird looks and vibes.)

In both states, I saw countless men standing out in the street smoking. I never saw even one woman smoke (in villages or cities) in Kerala, and I think I saw a couple of very elderly village crones taking a discreet puff in Tamil Nadu fishing villages. It is not something ladies do. This makes sense, since childbearing is a given in the lives of most traditional Indian women (traditionally, she's usually either with her kids she is raising, or trying to have one).

Western ladies are not expected to observe quite the same standards Indian ladies do, but I would recommend it. My British Indian girlfriend got the nastiest looks of all when she went out for a smoke! Really, an INDIAN lady should know better.

BTW, the same goes for peeing in public. Men do it everywhere. Where do the women go, and why don't the men go to the same places?

Since you are travelling with your spouse, as I said, you will be somewhat protected from the reactions you might get to smoking or drinking otherwise.

I think you're to be commended for your sensitivity to local standards. India is modernizing quickly enough elsewhere - enjoy the traditions!

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bijapuri

Do whatever the f#k ya want, you're on holiday, dangit! You'll find out soon enuff what's hot and what's not.
A little common sense gos a long way
RELAX

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mridula

Whatever guidelines they have, I am guilty on almost all counts. Only, I do not smkoe and rarely drink, but an occasional glass has never been frowned upon till date.

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Travel Tales from India

Tomi

In Ernakulam (Kerala) I gave a rickshaw driver the finger, and a well-dressed, well-spoken man that saw me followed me for about a block lecturing me that one does not do that in India. Is it particularly bad in India? It's impolite everywhere in the world, but I had never had anyone calling me on it.

I couldn't shake this guy off, he kept telling me this wasn't England, and finally to go back to England. Sorry, English IMers, for giving YOUR country a bad name.

Nick-H

Given that you were provoked and justified, then I guess it sounds like being an interfering busybody is permitted, and you suffered a nasty attack of one!

The grossest I evergot with an auto driver was throwing the money he was arguing about on the ground at his feet ---and that is pretty gross in India! As happens so often in life, I may have won the battle and made my point, but I spent the rest of the day regretting my loss of temper...

cyberhippie

Strange my mate the "taxi wallah" in Delhi uses the ole middle finger when navigating through the streets of Delhi, It's a kind of "so the Feck what if I cut you up" He always does it with great relish as well!!

GoanCanuck

Nick, you should pay a visit to Finland and investigate this matter.

robotvoice

with all respect to india and her culture, my girlfriend is flying into kolkata in two days, i havent seen her for a month, and i'll be damned if anything (including a crowbar) will keep me from hugging her the minute she is in sight.

mridula

Robotvoice, please do let us know the 'consequences'