Do Indian men looking for travel partners get accused unjustly?

Jasmin · Dec 27th, 2006, 21:24

I've lately been reading through some of the newer threads on this forumn and was suprised at how Indian men who look for female travel partners are always put down in one way or another. Do we assume too much? Could it not be possible that some men (whether Indian or otherwise), just simply prefer travelling with females instead of other males and are not looking for anything else?

Is it fair to be so judgemental when we don't know for sure that it is not just an innocent enquiry?

mangrove · Dec 27th, 2006, 21:48

Can't speak for anyone else... but I find it a bit suspiscious and would rather rest on the safe side!

PeakXV · Dec 27th, 2006, 21:58

It's not a typical "guy" thing to do in my books. If a man wants a female travel partner - what happened to the good old fashioned - up front - face to face request of a friend or a friend's friend or a referral even.

Perhaps he has exhausted all his local female companions or has some social issues that require his "search" to be carried out from behind the veil of cyberspace.

A generalized internet request for female travel partners by a stranger seems like a slightly desperate/ last resort method for companionship that should raise concern for even the most care-free traveller.

steven_ber · Dec 27th, 2006, 21:59

Good question. (and it's only an 'Indian men' thing because it's an India travel forum, I'd think the same about any man (or woman))

A man (for example) joins a website, and presumably judges every man on the planet as not being an ideal travel partner, then without giving much information about himself, asks for a female travel partner, more often than not- to go anywhere and at any time.

Yes, I'll judge him.

An extreme example you would think, but no, this happens a lot on indiamike.com, but these men don't last 30 minutes on this website, they are banned, it isn't a dating website, and in the above example, it's hard to think that the man is after anything other than a date.

If he's prepared to judge half the world's population, he has to be prepared to be judged himself.

dreamer · Dec 27th, 2006, 22:04

Maybe they are unjustly accused...but let's be honest here, any girl who has travelled with her partner knows how much men moan about the amount of luggage we have, how long we spend in the bathroom, how much fuss we make about bathroom facilities etc.etc.

Why would a man choose to travel with a girl other than thinking there may be a bit of bedroom activity on the agenda??

On a personal note I did ( foolishly now I realise) get involved with someone who "just wanted a travel partner" from this website.. 5 months down the line he turned out to be married and "forgot" to tell me . I mean -

how can you forget you are married??

He is still actively on this site and sending PM's to girls in the hope he will get lucky again no doubt.

So - my advice is - stick to female travellers for company. I have made some brilliant female friends through this website but I would never advise anyone to answer a PM from a guy wanting to make friends and travel with you. Sorry guys.

Digital Drifter · Dec 27th, 2006, 22:12

& it's really not common in India. So, the potential for a 'axe' murderer is there....

Tapestry · Dec 27th, 2006, 22:23

I guess my curiosity when reading the question was whether the poster has ever been to India and/or spent an extended amount of time here.

I think one just has to be realistic that the male/female dynamics are not the same here as they are in, say, Canada, and there are a lot of unhealthy and skewed perceptions of foreign women here that would make certain Indian men overly enthusiastic about the idea of traveling with a foreign female. As the other responders have mentioned, it's not that common for males and females who are not married, especially Indian males and foreign females, to be traveling around together, so one has to question the intentions of a male posting on IM for only female travel partners. To reject such reasonable skepticism would be a little naive and maybe dangerous in the end.

crvlvr · Dec 27th, 2006, 22:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamer

Maybe they are unjustly accused...but let's be honest here, any girl who has travelled with her partner knows how much men moan about the amount of luggage we have, how long we spend in the bathroom, how much fuss we make about bathroom facilities etc.etc.

Why would a man choose to travel with a girl other than thinking there may be a bit of bedroom activity on the agenda?? .

Pretty much sums up my thoughts..

cyberhippie · Dec 27th, 2006, 22:42

Like with a lot of things on travel forums, you have to hedge your bets and err on the side of caution. However I have noticed that western blokes asking for female travel companions draw a LOT less attention. I base this on my experience on several forums such as this??????

dreamer · Dec 27th, 2006, 22:43

I agree. And even if you haven't been to India you must surely have received so many PM's from guys on this website as I and my friends have. Most of them want to know your age, when you will be in India and could you be "the one"

And they are usally from all over the country, regardless of where you are planning to travel. Those guys sure are keen!

And as my experience proved even when you do communicate with someone who seems intelligent and not to have a one track mind they still turn out to be after that same one thing. The attraction of western girls and what we supposedly have "on offer" is the primary reason behind any travel request or offer of friendship. I'll bet my last rupee on that!

Oh - and I found my new "friend" Ajay on another website by chance and he was amazingly 10 years younger on that one! Obviously having a mid life crisis

cyberhippie · Dec 27th, 2006, 22:48

Quote:

he attraction of western girls and what we supposedly have "on offer" is the primary reason behind any travel request or offer of friendship. I'll bet my last rupee on that!

Yeah but that's the same for all guys, westerners are just better at hiding it

Nick-H · Dec 27th, 2006, 22:59

I don't think there is anything intrinsically wrong in wishing to travel with a member of the opposite sex, or even having a hope of maybe romance.

But think such posts get taken at face value (or should I say sub-text value...) and judged accordingly.

After all, if a male member (and especially a member with very few posts) is prepared to 'show someone around their city' etc --- why should they limit the offer to females? There are numerous IMers who make this offer and do not make such a restriction.

Throw in the stereotypical Indian view of foreign women referred to above and it tends to be the Indian men's ads that get attacked. And, more often than not, by the membership rather than the mods.

Personally I'd rather let the site be self-policing in that respect: but if it ever got the reputation as being a good place for making a pickup then we'd be swamped.

Anyone who seriously wants a relationship, let them use a Western dating site, or an Indian matrimonial site. I did, and look where it got me

Digital Drifter · Dec 27th, 2006, 23:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

I don't think there is anything intrinsically wrong in wishing to travel with a member of the opposite sex, or even having a hope of maybe romance.
[...]

This wiggle room(ooops, no pun intended).... you're going to regret it. Not that there's anything wrong with it but on this board, people are going to cite you chapter and verse.

You got problems.....now see where this leads to.

Sama · Dec 27th, 2006, 23:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamer

And even if you haven't been to India you must surely have received so many PM's from guys on this website as I and my friends have. Most of them want to know your age, when you will be in India and could you be "the one"

And they are usally from all over the country, regardless of where you are planning to travel. Those guys sure are keen!

let this just be a lesson to the dudes who PM female IMers -- and we know who you are! -- WE'RE ON TO YOU!

dreamer · Dec 27th, 2006, 23:08

But seriously girls - please be careful. I have met some lovely guys while travelling but IN INDIA, face to face. Use your instincts and get to know people. Meeting up with guys who want to travel with you from a website is a totally different issue.

I am sorry to make a sweeping generalisation but most Indian guys (and a lot of Western ones) replying to advert posted by a girl or sending you a PM on this or any other website is almost certainly either looking for sex, a western girlfriend to show off to his mates or is bored with his wife (the one he won't mention!)

And there are people all around the world who have bad intentions towards any girls. Maybe "axe murderer" as Digital Drifter said is a bit far fetched

but you never know.... One of my friends was drugged while in India and I know another who was doped on a train.

Please be careful who you meet.

Dec 27th, 2006, 21:24	#1
Jasmin Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 167	Do Indian men looking for travel partners get accused unjustly? I've lately been reading through some of the newer threads on this forumn and was suprised at how Indian men who look for female travel partners are always put down in one way or another. Do we assume too much? Could it not be possible that some men (whether Indian or otherwise), just simply prefer travelling with females instead of other males and are not looking for anything else? Is it fair to be so judgemental when we don't know for sure that it is not just an innocent enquiry? __________________ 'Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome' - S. Johnson Last edited by machadinha : Dec 28th, 2006 at 01:06. Reason: moved to travel partners forum

Dec 27th, 2006, 21:58	#3
PeakXV Naan.tering Nabob Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Abode of Glooscap Posts: 4,401	It's not a typical "guy" thing to do in my books. If a man wants a female travel partner - what happened to the good old fashioned - up front - face to face request of a friend or a friend's friend or a referral even. Perhaps he has exhausted all his local female companions or has some social issues that require his "search" to be carried out from behind the veil of cyberspace. A generalized internet request for female travel partners by a stranger seems like a slightly desperate/ last resort method for companionship that should raise concern for even the most care-free traveller. __________________ We shall not cease from exploration and at the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started ...and know the place for the first time. T.S. Eliot Don't go to India ~ Pre-trip Warnings & Misconceptions?

Dec 27th, 2006, 21:59	#4
steven_ber Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: London, England. Posts: 9,655	Good question. (and it's only an 'Indian men' thing because it's an India travel forum, I'd think the same about any man (or woman)) A man (for example) joins a website, and presumably judges every man on the planet as not being an ideal travel partner, then without giving much information about himself, asks for a female travel partner, more often than not- to go anywhere and at any time. Yes, I'll judge him. An extreme example you would think, but no, this happens a lot on indiamike.com, but these men don't last 30 minutes on this website, they are banned, it isn't a dating website, and in the above example, it's hard to think that the man is after anything other than a date. If he's prepared to judge half the world's population, he has to be prepared to be judged himself. __________________ . How to get helpful replies to your transport/Itinerary questions. Train information. RAC & Waitlists explained.

Dec 27th, 2006, 22:04	#5
dreamer Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Southampton, U.K. Posts: 188	Maybe they are unjustly accused...but let's be honest here, any girl who has travelled with her partner knows how much men moan about the amount of luggage we have, how long we spend in the bathroom, how much fuss we make about bathroom facilities etc.etc. Why would a man choose to travel with a girl other than thinking there may be a bit of bedroom activity on the agenda?? On a personal note I did ( foolishly now I realise) get involved with someone who "just wanted a travel partner" from this website.. 5 months down the line he turned out to be married and "forgot" to tell me . I mean - how can you forget you are married?? He is still actively on this site and sending PM's to girls in the hope he will get lucky again no doubt. So - my advice is - stick to female travellers for company. I have made some brilliant female friends through this website but I would never advise anyone to answer a PM from a guy wanting to make friends and travel with you. Sorry guys. __________________ Life is not about the moments that we take breath, rather the moments that take our breath away.

Dec 27th, 2006, 22:12	#6
Digital Drifter bang a whore? Bangalore Dammit! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,878	& it's really not common in India. So, the potential for a 'axe' murderer is there.... __________________ Click here for the Indiamike train guide in PDF

Dec 27th, 2006, 21:48	#2
mangrove Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 292	Can't speak for anyone else... but I find it a bit suspiscious and would rather rest on the safe side!

Dec 27th, 2006, 22:23	#7
Tapestry Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Delhi Posts: 326	I guess my curiosity when reading the question was whether the poster has ever been to India and/or spent an extended amount of time here. I think one just has to be realistic that the male/female dynamics are not the same here as they are in, say, Canada, and there are a lot of unhealthy and skewed perceptions of foreign women here that would make certain Indian men overly enthusiastic about the idea of traveling with a foreign female. As the other responders have mentioned, it's not that common for males and females who are not married, especially Indian males and foreign females, to be traveling around together, so one has to question the intentions of a male posting on IM for only female travel partners. To reject such reasonable skepticism would be a little naive and maybe dangerous in the end.

Dec 27th, 2006, 22:42	#9
cyberhippie Account Closed by User's Request Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 6,012	Like with a lot of things on travel forums, you have to hedge your bets and err on the side of caution. However I have noticed that western blokes asking for female travel companions draw a LOT less attention. I base this on my experience on several forums such as this??????

Dec 27th, 2006, 22:43	#10
dreamer Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Southampton, U.K. Posts: 188	I agree. And even if you haven't been to India you must surely have received so many PM's from guys on this website as I and my friends have. Most of them want to know your age, when you will be in India and could you be "the one" And they are usally from all over the country, regardless of where you are planning to travel. Those guys sure are keen! And as my experience proved even when you do communicate with someone who seems intelligent and not to have a one track mind they still turn out to be after that same one thing. The attraction of western girls and what we supposedly have "on offer" is the primary reason behind any travel request or offer of friendship. I'll bet my last rupee on that! Oh - and I found my new "friend" Ajay on another website by chance and he was amazingly 10 years younger on that one! Obviously having a mid life crisis

Dec 27th, 2006, 22:59	#12
Nick-H Loud-mouthed, Noisy Bird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 27,790	I don't think there is anything intrinsically wrong in wishing to travel with a member of the opposite sex, or even having a hope of maybe romance. But think such posts get taken at face value (or should I say sub-text value...) and judged accordingly. After all, if a male member (and especially a member with very few posts) is prepared to 'show someone around their city' etc --- why should they limit the offer to females? There are numerous IMers who make this offer and do not make such a restriction. Throw in the stereotypical Indian view of foreign women referred to above and it tends to be the Indian men's ads that get attacked. And, more often than not, by the membership rather than the mods. Personally I'd rather let the site be self-policing in that respect: but if it ever got the reputation as being a good place for making a pickup then we'd be swamped. Anyone who seriously wants a relationship, let them use a Western dating site, or an Indian matrimonial site. I did, and look where it got me __________________ . Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

Dec 27th, 2006, 23:08	#15
dreamer Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Southampton, U.K. Posts: 188	Be careful But seriously girls - please be careful. I have met some lovely guys while travelling but IN INDIA, face to face. Use your instincts and get to know people. Meeting up with guys who want to travel with you from a website is a totally different issue. I am sorry to make a sweeping generalisation but most Indian guys (and a lot of Western ones) replying to advert posted by a girl or sending you a PM on this or any other website is almost certainly either looking for sex, a western girlfriend to show off to his mates or is bored with his wife (the one he won't mention!) And there are people all around the world who have bad intentions towards any girls. Maybe "axe murderer" as Digital Drifter said is a bit far fetched but you never know.... One of my friends was drugged while in India and I know another who was doped on a train. Please be careful who you meet.

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