Worlds funniest joke?

indiamike · Oct 4th, 2002, 17:07

As reported from CNN this is supposed to be the worlds funniest joke.

<b>Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"</b>

abracax · Oct 5th, 2002, 03:16

The joke is supposed to begin: Two Newfies are out hunting.....

Midnite Toker · Oct 5th, 2002, 14:44

Why did the absurdist cross the road?

Fish.

cyberhippie · Oct 7th, 2002, 03:35

Did you here about the Insomniac,Dyslexic, Agnostic?

He lay awake all night wondering what dog was.

Or, what did the slug say to the snail?

"Big issue mate?"

Layman · Oct 7th, 2002, 11:36

Sorry, Midnite Toker, the shortest joke is:

"Two Sardarjis were playing chess."

(with apologies to Sardarjis).

Alan D · Oct 7th, 2002, 16:33

I know it's just a joke but I only smiled when I read this. For the sake of political correctness something has been left out and a couple of you added the missing bits. In the case of USA "hill-billies" or "Okies" would probably bring the house down. In England it would have been about two "paddies", in France or Holland about two Belgians, in Japan about Koreans, in India about Sikhs, etc etc.

The second hunter obviously had an IQ of less than 50. His friend can't have been very bright either to have gone hunting with this idiot in the first place. It's an us-them type of joke which boosts the teller's and the audience's sense of superiority. It's humour I suppose, but a bit on the cruel side.

Anyway, these days, I only laugh at my own jokes. Hehehehe

Oct 12th, 2002, 02:05

I saw in the Guardian what was apparently the favourite joke from Scotland.

Two men having a drink in a bar and discussing the best way to die.

"Yes" says one " I'd want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandad.

Not screaming and shrieking in terror like his passengers !"

bijapuri · Nov 29th, 2003, 01:29

A foreign tourist goes to rajasthan village to see the 'true' rural India. When hungry, he goes to an old lady sitting making Bajre ki Roti. She gives him some 'SarsoN kaa saag' on a Bajre ki Roti. The tourist eats the 'sabji' and returns the roti saying, 'Here is your plate'.

jaz · Nov 29th, 2003, 08:05

Heres one l just got on my mobile!

NEWSFLASH
Snow white has just been kicked out of Disneyland, she is reported to have pulled up her skirt, sat on pinoccios face and shout 'lie you bastard lie'!

SHIMLA · Dec 1st, 2003, 17:38

Another Sardie joke :

A Sardar finished his examination in English Grammar. When his friend asked him how had he fared, the Sardar replied:"It was very easy, except for one. I had to write the past tense of "think". I just could not recall, I thought and thought and then answered "thunk" !!

SHIMLA · Dec 1st, 2003, 17:48

Two more :

1. Q. What should you do if a Sardar throws a hand-grenade at you?

A. Take out the pin and throw it back at him !!!

2. Q. How do you keep a Sardar busy for a long time?

A. Give him a piece of paper with "P.T.O." written on both sides !!!

-m2- · Dec 5th, 2003, 21:05

george, saddam and laloo died and went to hell. missing their loved ones dearly, they asked lucifer if they could call home. lucifer agreed saying that of course they could and would be charged at the regular STD/IST rates, so they all made their calls.

george and saddam complained bitterly when presented their bills of $24,000 and $21,500 respectively after noting that laloo's was only 1rp 50p. lucifer replied that this was indeed correct as they were charged the normal long distance rates, but Patna was a local call.

concoran · Dec 5th, 2003, 23:34

What does a mom Kangaroo say when it can't find its baby??
"oh! someone picked my pocket"

beach · Dec 6th, 2003, 10:19

OK. Two driving jokes on India...

A tourist, who doesn’t know that India is a left lane driving country, was driving his car on the right lane.

Soon an announcement came from the city traffic police on the FM radio -“ Those who are driving through the highway be careful. One car is reported to be moving against the lane. We could not stop the car so far”

“Just one..?? Hundreds and hundreds of cars are moving against the lane. You cant stop all of them that easily!!” exclaimed the driver to his car radio.

______________________________ _____________________

A priest and Indian bus driver died and reached the Saint Peter’s office to get the pass to the heaven/hell. The driver was sent to heaven and the priest to hell. The priest questioned the logic.
“Well. For all these years when you have been preaching people were sleeping. When he was driving they were praying” replied Saint Peter.

Oct 4th, 2002, 17:07	#1
indiamike Retired Admin Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: New Joisey for now Posts: 1,760	Worlds funniest joke? As reported from CNN this is supposed to be the worlds funniest joke. <b>Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"</b>

Oct 5th, 2002, 03:16	#2
abracax Mahaguru Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Canada Posts: 432	The joke is supposed to begin: Two Newfies are out hunting..... __________________ He travels fastest who pays for a cab.

Oct 5th, 2002, 14:44	#3
Midnite Toker absconding member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Vienna, Austria Posts: 474	Not the funniest, but maybe the shortest: Why did the absurdist cross the road? Fish. __________________ travel tips, blog, downloads, panorama photos, online security, tokes: the tokezone

Oct 7th, 2002, 03:35	#4
cyberhippie Account Closed by User's Request Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 6,013	Or how about this one? Did you here about the Insomniac,Dyslexic, Agnostic? He lay awake all night wondering what dog was. Or, what did the slug say to the snail? "Big issue mate?"

Oct 7th, 2002, 16:33	#6
Alan D Maha Guru Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Southampton UK Posts: 1,869	Not really I know it's just a joke but I only smiled when I read this. For the sake of political correctness something has been left out and a couple of you added the missing bits. In the case of USA "hill-billies" or "Okies" would probably bring the house down. In England it would have been about two "paddies", in France or Holland about two Belgians, in Japan about Koreans, in India about Sikhs, etc etc. The second hunter obviously had an IQ of less than 50. His friend can't have been very bright either to have gone hunting with this idiot in the first place. It's an us-them type of joke which boosts the teller's and the audience's sense of superiority. It's humour I suppose, but a bit on the cruel side. Anyway, these days, I only laugh at my own jokes. Hehehehe

Oct 7th, 2002, 11:36	#5
Layman Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Bendakaalooru, KA Posts: 128	Sorry, Midnite Toker, the shortest joke is: "Two Sardarjis were playing chess." (with apologies to Sardarjis).

Oct 12th, 2002, 02:05	#7
velmead Posts: n/a	I saw in the Guardian what was apparently the favourite joke from Scotland. Two men having a drink in a bar and discussing the best way to die. "Yes" says one " I'd want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandad. Not screaming and shrieking in terror like his passengers !"

Nov 29th, 2003, 01:29	#8
bijapuri laid traps for troubadours Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Priustan Posts: 2,601	A foreign tourist goes to rajasthan village to see the 'true' rural India. When hungry, he goes to an old lady sitting making Bajre ki Roti. She gives him some 'SarsoN kaa saag' on a Bajre ki Roti. The tourist eats the 'sabji' and returns the roti saying, 'Here is your plate'. __________________ Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential. Barack Obama lookit me!!!: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bijapuri/ Utube fuzzy logic: http://youtube.com/profile_videos?user=bijapuri&p =r

Nov 29th, 2003, 08:05	#9
jaz Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: UK Posts: 192	Heres one l just got on my mobile! NEWSFLASH Snow white has just been kicked out of Disneyland, she is reported to have pulled up her skirt, sat on pinoccios face and shout 'lie you bastard lie'!

Dec 1st, 2003, 17:38	#10
SHIMLA Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Yangon, MYANMAR Posts: 4,129	Another Sardie joke : A Sardar finished his examination in English Grammar. When his friend asked him how had he fared, the Sardar replied:"It was very easy, except for one. I had to write the past tense of "think". I just could not recall, I thought and thought and then answered "thunk" !! __________________ Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop !

Dec 1st, 2003, 17:48	#11
SHIMLA Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Yangon, MYANMAR Posts: 4,129	Two more : 1. Q. What should you do if a Sardar throws a hand-grenade at you? A. Take out the pin and throw it back at him !!! 2. Q. How do you keep a Sardar busy for a long time? A. Give him a piece of paper with "P.T.O." written on both sides !!!

Dec 5th, 2003, 21:05	#12
-m2- . Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: . Posts: 1,578	george, saddam and laloo died and went to hell. missing their loved ones dearly, they asked lucifer if they could call home. lucifer agreed saying that of course they could and would be charged at the regular STD/IST rates, so they all made their calls. george and saddam complained bitterly when presented their bills of $24,000 and $21,500 respectively after noting that laloo's was only 1rp 50p. lucifer replied that this was indeed correct as they were charged the normal long distance rates, but Patna was a local call.

Dec 5th, 2003, 23:34	#13
concoran Explorer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Desert Southwest Posts: 316	What does a mom Kangaroo say when it can't find its baby?? "oh! someone picked my pocket"

Dec 6th, 2003, 10:19	#14
beach Lost in translation Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: India ! Posts: 2,232	OK. Two driving jokes on India... A tourist, who doesn’t know that India is a left lane driving country, was driving his car on the right lane. Soon an announcement came from the city traffic police on the FM radio -“ Those who are driving through the highway be careful. One car is reported to be moving against the lane. We could not stop the car so far” “Just one..?? Hundreds and hundreds of cars are moving against the lane. You cant stop all of them that easily!!” exclaimed the driver to his car radio. ______________________________ _____________________ A priest and Indian bus driver died and reached the Saint Peter’s office to get the pass to the heaven/hell. The driver was sent to heaven and the priest to hell. The priest questioned the logic. “Well. For all these years when you have been preaching people were sleeping. When he was driving they were praying” replied Saint Peter. __________________ Hampi info

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