US Declares, 'Veerappan Is Osama Bin Laden'

indiamike

<b>NOTE-This article is from <a href="http://www.Sulekha.com">www.Sulekha.com</a> and is considered humor. A few news sites are posting this as an actual news article.</b>


In what can only be described as bizarre, the US Department of Defense has released information, which describes notorious sandalwood smuggler Veerappan as none other than America's most wanted person, Osama Bin Laden. The Pentagon yesterday called a news conference where it distributed the report of its 'intelligence' agencies* that claimed that Osama Bin Laden had already escaped Afghanistan and Veerappan was his alter ego.

The President of USA, George Dubya Bush Jr., is now contemplating attacks on India. So far he has not received any support from his Western allies. Pentagon officials now say that Osama Bin Laden was frequently visited by Nedumaran and asked to fight as Veerappan as a hero of the LTTE. Now RAW and the IB are investigating claims whether Osama Bin Laden (a.k.a Veerappan) had a part to play in the assassination of Rajiv Gandhi.

When reporters asked how Osama could be Veerappan, Mr. Donald Rumsfeld said, "If George Bush Jr., can be the President of America, why can't OBL be Veerappan." He later added that in order to hide his identity, Osama had an array of plastic surgeons at his disposal and could morph himself into any person.

These claims are stoutly being denied by the States and the Centre. Everyone seems to be keen on having a say. "America's campaign against Iraq is going nowhere. That is why America has started this rumour," the chief minister of Andhra Pradesh said.

Meanwhile the Pentagon is trying to garner support to attack India. When asked about its plans to attack Iraq, the Secretary of Defence answered, "Actually we were not really interested in attacking Iraq. We were only interested in attacking a country starting with the letter 'I'. And since India has more letters than Iraq, the President has now changed his rhetoric. Also we have had a request from the PM of Australia to target India in view of its performance in the Champions trophy played in Sri Lanka.'

One country that has fully supported this unprecedented move is Pakistan. The President/CEO/Managing Director of Pakistan, General Musharraf has expressed his delight at the dramatic turn of events. 'You see, our planes can't fly that far to Iraq but since India is our next door neighbour, we won't even be needing planes. Of course we have always given moral and diplomatic support and will continue to do so but this takes it to a whole new level and we will be now supporting the Jehadis in a new way.

When asked by the reporters how, he responded, "So far we have only been writing 'go go you Kashmiri mujahadeen' on the back of a classified Pakistan Army paper. But now we will give them that piece of paper in the barrel of an AK-47 and thus help our ally, the US and still support the freedom struggle."

abracax

Clang.

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