You may be missing India, when you ......

Digital Drifter · Jul 11th, 2006, 22:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by lez

when I got back from India My back door had been smashed down causing £1500 worth of dammage, by the Police because the old bat next door hadn't seen me from behind her net curtains foe a few days

a very

lez

say what? Out of concern for your well being, they tore up your house?

Nick-H · Jul 11th, 2006, 23:17

Good thing too.

Suspected of going to India? Break the guy's door down!

I suppose if they had done it because theysuspected you of a crime then they would have had to pay for the door.

Everyone should note: tell the local old bat when going away!

Lez, forgive my usual irreverence: I'm sorry. That must have been a bummer of a home coming, when all you probably wanted to do was make tea and get some rest

lez · Jul 12th, 2006, 01:16

I had been away in March and April for a month in India didn't missed me then.

i avoid the old bat because all she talks about is my mother and God my mother died 15 months back.

if the police had gone to my other neighbour they had the keys but no Mister F*****g plod had to get his battering ram out.

must be a cop thing, anyway my solicitor is sorting it out.

lez

kc2 · Jul 18th, 2006, 01:49

-when you are in line at the bank and instead of giving the one person in front of you space you stand next to them leaning on the counter.

- when you jump of the bus in a traffic jam, do your business and jump back on the bus.

- when you start downloading hindi films from the internet

-

elmers · Aug 11th, 2006, 00:29

Take a cheap weeks holiday in Corfu, go into a shop and ask how much a snorkle is when the shop owner says 5 and you SCREAM 5 rupees! and shop keeper looks at you like you have 3 heads and you husband dies of embarrassment.

lez · Aug 11th, 2006, 15:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by elmers

Take a cheap weeks holiday in Corfu, go into a shop and ask how much a snorkle is when the shop owner says 5 and you SCREAM 5 rupees! and shop keeper looks at you like you have 3 heads and you husband dies of embarrassment.

Marte · Aug 14th, 2006, 23:16

When you stare at the barista at Starbucks for giving you your Late with her left hand.
When you start wearing Saris in small conservative cowboy towns.
When your friends roll their eyes when you start another story with "Back home in India....."
When you eat with your hand in a fancy restaurant oblivious to the stares.

blackbird · Aug 15th, 2006, 00:35

When you start walking out into the road without looking, forgetting that no-one will sound their horn and they will be going twice as fast as you think.....

ixel · Aug 17th, 2006, 02:48

WOW !!!
That sounds just like Mexico, except only for the cows
all over the city ...

Love,
Ixel, wired mexican

Quote:

Originally Posted by steven_ber

....Re-wire all the lights in your house and insert a random selector.

....Start washing your clothes in the local river.

....Start commuting to work on the roof of the train.

....Start sucking aniseed so you can spit on the wall in the yard.

....Put a 'Horn OK' bumper sticker on your car and blast horn every 3 seconds.

....Re-wire the bathroom to leave all the cables exposed.

....Start peeing in your sink.

....Argue with the newsagent over the cost of your daily paper.

....Set the farmers cows free to roam the streets.

....Take your granny to a festival so you can lose her.

....Open a market stall to sell used false teeth.

Can anyone think of any more.

NOTE: Thanks to Catmac for suggesting some of the above.

sirensongs · Aug 17th, 2006, 12:22

-when you always are in the present continuous tense speaking, and you always are using indian word order only ;-)

Nick-H · Aug 17th, 2006, 13:25

I turned to the white woman behind me in the railway sation queue.

I can hardly believe it, but I heard myself say, "You are coming from England?"

Actually, don't a lot of non-native English speakers combine all tenses into the present continuous?

capt_mahajan · Aug 17th, 2006, 13:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

I turned to the white woman behind me in the railway sation queue.

know what? your referring to the lady as "white woman" is more unbelievable!! and more indian.

Nick-H · Aug 17th, 2006, 13:51

Gosh...

The worst thing is that Mrs N married a foreigner because she did not want a husband with traditional Indian ideas.

She's not sending me back, yet... but she's keeping a close watch on the situation

Digital Drifter · Aug 17th, 2006, 15:32

going native, man, going native. That's a bad sign.

Next minute, you'd be here, proudly saying I just spat paan juice on the wall and that was more than 4 feet away.

egads!

Nick-H · Aug 17th, 2006, 16:47

...I think it has to from a bus window to qualify?

And I still don't take buses, so no worries yet...

Jul 11th, 2006, 23:17	#332
Nick-H Loud-mouthed, Noisy Bird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 24,471	Good thing too. Suspected of going to India? Break the guy's door down! I suppose if they had done it because theysuspected you of a crime then they would have had to pay for the door. Everyone should note: tell the local old bat when going away! Lez, forgive my usual irreverence: I'm sorry. That must have been a bummer of a home coming, when all you probably wanted to do was make tea and get some rest __________________ . Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

Aug 11th, 2006, 00:29	#335
elmers Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: barnsley/goa Posts: 7	when you.... Take a cheap weeks holiday in Corfu, go into a shop and ask how much a snorkle is when the shop owner says 5 and you SCREAM 5 rupees! and shop keeper looks at you like you have 3 heads and you husband dies of embarrassment.

Aug 17th, 2006, 12:22	#340
sirensongs Eeny meeny mango Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: All India Permit (somewhere between Delhi & Dharamsala) Posts: 1,213	-when you always are in the present continuous tense speaking, and you always are using indian word order only ;-) __________________ *"Why do people go to India to find themselves? India is where you go to lose* yourself."** Feringhee: The India Diaries

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Jul 12th, 2006, 01:16	#333
lez Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: liverpool Posts: 269	I had been away in March and April for a month in India didn't missed me then. i avoid the old bat because all she talks about is my mother and God my mother died 15 months back. if the police had gone to my other neighbour they had the keys but no Mister F*****g plod had to get his battering ram out. must be a cop thing, anyway my solicitor is sorting it out. lez

Jul 18th, 2006, 01:49	#334
kc2 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Nashville, TN Posts: 25	-when you are in line at the bank and instead of giving the one person in front of you space you stand next to them leaning on the counter. - when you jump of the bus in a traffic jam, do your business and jump back on the bus. - when you start downloading hindi films from the internet -

Aug 14th, 2006, 23:16	#337
Marte Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Delhi Posts: 55	When you stare at the barista at Starbucks for giving you your Late with her left hand. When you start wearing Saris in small conservative cowboy towns. When your friends roll their eyes when you start another story with "Back home in India....." When you eat with your hand in a fancy restaurant oblivious to the stares.

Aug 15th, 2006, 00:35	#338
blackbird Jai Maa Tarini Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Bristol, England Posts: 358	When you start walking out into the road without looking, forgetting that no-one will sound their horn and they will be going twice as fast as you think.....

Aug 17th, 2006, 13:25	#341
Nick-H Loud-mouthed, Noisy Bird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 24,471	I turned to the white woman behind me in the railway sation queue. I can hardly believe it, but I heard myself say, "You are coming from England?" Actually, don't a lot of non-native English speakers combine all tenses into the present continuous?

Aug 17th, 2006, 13:51	#343
Nick-H Loud-mouthed, Noisy Bird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 24,471	Gosh... The worst thing is that Mrs N married a foreigner because she did not want a husband with traditional Indian ideas. She's not sending me back, yet... but she's keeping a close watch on the situation

Aug 17th, 2006, 15:32	#344
Digital Drifter bang a whore? Bangalore Dammit! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,878	going native, man, going native. That's a bad sign. Next minute, you'd be here, proudly saying I just spat paan juice on the wall and that was more than 4 feet away. egads!

Aug 17th, 2006, 16:47	#345
Nick-H Loud-mouthed, Noisy Bird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 24,471	...I think it has to from a bus window to qualify? And I still don't take buses, so no worries yet...

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