Pose as married?

smilymel · Apr 9th, 2008, 04:56

I'm intrigued by all this. Going to India for the first time in May. Will be married by then so that's not a problem. It'll be entertaining if they tend to look to the man. Mine does all the booking and paperwork over the internet, but I'm the one with the phrasebook that actually does the talking!

bethey · Apr 9th, 2008, 09:17

I didn't even think about the unmarried opposite sex room sharing thing. We were in Jaipur and our driver was checking us in - us being me and my Indian boyfriend. Anyway, passports are handed over and then there is this flurry of hindi. My guy turns to me and says, "They want to make sure you understand that we are going to be sleeping in the same room." I tried not to smile as I responded to the desk clerk that yes, I understood that we would be sleeping in the same room.

We stayed in 3 different hotels over 2 weeks and this was the only time it came up.

RSC2 · Apr 11th, 2008, 22:48

My partner and I will be married before we travel to India this year. We are a mixed couple. We are going to hire a hotel room for the visit. We are also going to have a hindu wedding ceremony and a reception whilst we are there.

Can we check into the same room? Do we both need to show ID's? Can these be driving licences? Do these have to be passports? Can we simply sign in and say x +1?

Nick-H · Apr 11th, 2008, 23:04

Why would you think otherwise?

You're married already, and you're trying to make this into a problem. It wouldn't be even if you were not.

You will need to show your passport(s) when checking in, the details are recorded on a form for immigration control purposes.

However, several of us have experienced that, when the man checks in, the woman is not asked for her ID.

machadinha · Apr 11th, 2008, 23:05

<cross-posted with Nick, so this can as well be deleted

>

Hi Rsc, haven't these questions been sort of covered on this very thread that you're writing on? Basically, no, it shouldn't be a problem, why would it. Yes, you are technically required to show your passport upon signing in at a hotel, in many places around the world. That has nothing to do with your marital status. Since a tourist will normally want to carry a passport with them, it's not much of an issue.

RSC2 · Apr 11th, 2008, 23:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

Why would you think otherwise?

You're married already, and you're trying to make this into a problem. It wouldn't be even if you were not.

You will need to show your passport(s) when checking in, the details are recorded on a form for immigration control purposes.

However, several of us have experienced that, when the man checks in, the woman is not asked for her ID.

Hi Nick-H
I am not trying to make this into a problem actually. I am simply asking questions which I understand I am free to do.

I will be travelling to Bihar which I understand is known to be more conservative than most states. Hence the query.

Nick-H · Apr 11th, 2008, 23:54

Perhaps your question is more about being a mixed couple and I misunderstood. I often misunderstand!

India is not free of prejudiced people, but I have never had any problems with this.

RSC2 · Apr 12th, 2008, 00:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

Perhaps your question is more about being a mixed couple and I misunderstood. I often misunderstand!

India is not free of prejudiced people, but I have never had any problems with this.

Thank you Nick. Yes I guess I was a bit worried, but nothing ventured nothing gained. Sorry if I was a ascerbic.

We were simply going to use a friend's place as a base and then travel via plane etc to elsewhere. I just find the passport thing intrusive, but that's just me.

machadinha · Apr 12th, 2008, 11:04

I don't know really. Not everyone will like me for saying this, but:

I've witnessed Africans and black Americans there not feeling very at home at all.

I've witnessed NRI's not feeling very at home there at all.

My theory is in the latter and perhaps the former case it has at least in part to do with expectations of the place that don't come true.

But it would be untrue to say that there's no racism or prejudices there yes, and this may well reflect on how you're treated as a couple. Of course in practice it will depend on how is your partnership made up precisely, where are you at a given time, etc., (how do you deal with it yourself not the least). I think it will mostly give you some nuisance at worst, nothing very serious. More like the crap you've probably learned to deal with anywhere.

But I wouldn't want to suggest you'll never notice it no. And Indians can be very biased; if one of you has their roots there, you may certainly run into this more heavily (Why? because of weird expectations and misconceptions to and fro.)

Conversely, I don't think it's really about what state you visit. It will be about the people you happen to meet more. And it shouldn't be prohibitive I think; just shrug it off and consider such people a little prejudiced, like you would anywhere else. (Have we ever mentioned that as in bars the world over, discussing politics and general life views while on the road anywhere is generally not a good idea?)

capt_mahajan · Apr 12th, 2008, 11:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by RSC2

My partner and I will be married before we travel to India this year. We are a mixed couple. We are going to hire a hotel room for the visit. We are also going to have a hindu wedding ceremony and a reception whilst we are there.

Can we check into the same room? Do we both need to show ID's? Can these be driving licences? Do these have to be passports? Can we simply sign in and say x +1?

Since you are concerned about this and if your passports do not reflect your married status, carry a copy of the marriage certificate or a document confirming your marriage.

Then, if anybody objects in a hotel, raise your voice and demand satisfaction. Usually works.

machadinha · Apr 12th, 2008, 11:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by capt_mahajan

Then, if anybody objects in a hotel, raise your voice and demand satisfaction.

LOL. Shouldn't hubby normally look after the latter though?

(... Sorry, flippant as usual

) (--> I can't get me no...

)

Nick-H · Apr 12th, 2008, 11:42

My thought too, was that it was an unfortunate choice of words in the circumstances!

Certainly, there is plenty of racism and prejudice. My experience, obviously, is that as a white European man married to an Indian woman and living in India I have never experienced any problems. If the topic arises at all, I get congratulated on my choice!

edwardseco · Apr 12th, 2008, 12:43

My wife was very concerned about these sensitiviies just after we married and carried her marriage certificate as we traveled. Soon she realized her demeanor was enough of an indicator of married status. No one can mistake the sharp voice of a married lass. Gotta run before I get caught

..

capt_mahajan · Apr 12th, 2008, 14:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by machadinha

LOL. Shouldn't hubby normally look after the latter though?

(... Sorry, flippant as usual

) (--> I can't get me no...

)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

My thought too, was that it was an unfortunate choice of words in the circumstances!

Umm, was trying to be deadpan funny, obviously failed

Kruska · Jun 7th, 2008, 00:31

I have traveled twice to India with my boyfriend and at first when we explained that we were not married etc etc... the 100 questions that followed made the explanations more and more complicated. We finally decided to say that we were married and the questions ended when we said that god will bring the babies when He decides.....It was the easiest way out....

Apr 9th, 2008, 09:17	#62
bethey Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Delhi/VA Posts: 124	Thought I'd share my experience I didn't even think about the unmarried opposite sex room sharing thing. We were in Jaipur and our driver was checking us in - us being me and my Indian boyfriend. Anyway, passports are handed over and then there is this flurry of hindi. My guy turns to me and says, "They want to make sure you understand that we are going to be sleeping in the same room." I tried not to smile as I responded to the desk clerk that yes, I understood that we would be sleeping in the same room. We stayed in 3 different hotels over 2 weeks and this was the only time it came up.

Apr 11th, 2008, 23:05	#65
machadinha brother my cup is empty member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: yörp Posts: 14,394	<cross-posted with Nick, so this can as well be deleted > Hi Rsc, haven't these questions been sort of covered on this very thread that you're writing on? Basically, no, it shouldn't be a problem, why would it. Yes, you are technically required to show your passport upon signing in at a hotel, in many places around the world. That has nothing to do with your marital status. Since a tourist will normally want to carry a passport with them, it's not much of an issue. __________________ Reading tips, all picked up at IndiaMike : INDAX's A Comprehensive Guide To India / Dinoj Surendran's Desi Humor / ITHVC on Culture Shock & Travel Health / JetLag Travel Guides For the Undiscerning Traveller / India Travel Links

Apr 12th, 2008, 12:43	#73
edwardseco Maha Guru Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Land that shakes and bakes. Posts: 5,845	My wife was very concerned about these sensitiviies just after we married and carried her marriage certificate as we traveled. Soon she realized her demeanor was enough of an indicator of married status. No one can mistake the sharp voice of a married lass. Gotta run before I get caught..

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Apr 9th, 2008, 04:56	#61
smilymel Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 1	I'm intrigued by all this. Going to India for the first time in May. Will be married by then so that's not a problem. It'll be entertaining if they tend to look to the man. Mine does all the booking and paperwork over the internet, but I'm the one with the phrasebook that actually does the talking!

Apr 11th, 2008, 22:48	#63
RSC2 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: UK Posts: 22	My partner and I will be married before we travel to India this year. We are a mixed couple. We are going to hire a hotel room for the visit. We are also going to have a hindu wedding ceremony and a reception whilst we are there. Can we check into the same room? Do we both need to show ID's? Can these be driving licences? Do these have to be passports? Can we simply sign in and say x +1?

Apr 11th, 2008, 23:04	#64
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,225	Why would you think otherwise? You're married already, and you're trying to make this into a problem. It wouldn't be even if you were not. You will need to show your passport(s) when checking in, the details are recorded on a form for immigration control purposes. However, several of us have experienced that, when the man checks in, the woman is not asked for her ID.

Apr 11th, 2008, 23:54	#67
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,225	Perhaps your question is more about being a mixed couple and I misunderstood. I often misunderstand! India is not free of prejudiced people, but I have never had any problems with this.

Apr 12th, 2008, 11:04	#69
machadinha brother my cup is empty member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: yörp Posts: 14,394	I don't know really. Not everyone will like me for saying this, but: I've witnessed Africans and black Americans there not feeling very at home at all. I've witnessed NRI's not feeling very at home there at all. My theory is in the latter and perhaps the former case it has at least in part to do with expectations of the place that don't come true. But it would be untrue to say that there's no racism or prejudices there yes, and this may well reflect on how you're treated as a couple. Of course in practice it will depend on how is your partnership made up precisely, where are you at a given time, etc., (how do you deal with it yourself not the least). I think it will mostly give you some nuisance at worst, nothing very serious. More like the crap you've probably learned to deal with anywhere. But I wouldn't want to suggest you'll never notice it no. And Indians can be very biased; if one of you has their roots there, you may certainly run into this more heavily (Why? because of weird expectations and misconceptions to and fro.) Conversely, I don't think it's really about what state you visit. It will be about the people you happen to meet more. And it shouldn't be prohibitive I think; just shrug it off and consider such people a little prejudiced, like you would anywhere else. (Have we ever mentioned that as in bars the world over, discussing politics and general life views while on the road anywhere is generally not a good idea?)

Apr 12th, 2008, 11:42	#72
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,225	My thought too, was that it was an unfortunate choice of words in the circumstances! Certainly, there is plenty of racism and prejudice. My experience, obviously, is that as a white European man married to an Indian woman and living in India I have never experienced any problems. If the topic arises at all, I get congratulated on my choice!

Jun 7th, 2008, 00:31	#75
Kruska Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: SPAIN Posts: 10	I have traveled twice to India with my boyfriend and at first when we explained that we were not married etc etc... the 100 questions that followed made the explanations more and more complicated. We finally decided to say that we were married and the questions ended when we said that god will bring the babies when He decides.....It was the easiest way out....