Pose as married?

Nick-H

Hey! Thanks (on behalf of all our members, past present and future)!

But it is a two-way track, and it is the mix, and the exchange here that works so well.

I was reading in the newspaper a couple of days ago about the blatant and corrupt demands made by Customs officers of visiting NRIs --- like, how much cash do you have on you? Put it in an envelope and hand it over. The author was talking of experience of visiting scientists and academics coming to Bangalore.

As a non-Indian, I was under the impression that this kind of airport scam was a thing of the past. Sadly, it is not, it seems.

Nick-H

It is not a big issue at all. If your BF is of Indian Origin he should understand the situation.

Many people will applaude your good judgement at choosing an Indian man!

At least, I get that response sometimes for having chosen an Indian woman!

setuniket

This is interesting..i have never heard of any such law....any links...

Bollywood Barbie

i'm posting again, as for some reason my earlier post jumped right into the middle of the thread!

i'm a little worried about the not-married issue as didnt actually think non-married couples sharing a room was illegal!

i thought some indians would be intrigued by us not being married, but didnt consider it in any way to be wrong!

i mentioned before that my boyfriend is hindu - we're very lucky that his parents & family have no issues with our relationship, they are very liberal & i guess i expected most indians to as accepting as they are!

now i'm intrigued as how we will be perceived as a mixed race couple? i have never thought it to be an issue before, but then i didnt think we would have to be married to share a hotel room either!

Nick-H

Everyone will assume you are married. Just let them.

Aishah

Exactly. And when you fill in the register and C form for CID, just do your names without blinking an eyelid. It is very common for married Indian couples to have separate names. As Nick says, people will assume you are married, say nothing at all, make no fuss etc. and you won't have any problems.

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"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."

Nick-H

And just mentally translate: 'how long have you been married' = 'when did you first meet' and so on.

A mixed-race relationship may attract more attention and questions. Remember also that it is not obligatory to reveal the details of your personal life to every stranger who asks, even though the questioner may think so!

I'm very bad at this: Mrs N is always telling me, 'why did you tell all that? why should that person know our business?'. Boundaries, I suppose --- one needs to have boundaries.

Alohaguy

I am not sure the legality issue of sharing a hotel room. However, mixed race couple is not a problem. You might come accross Hilarious situations like I was mistaken for a tour guide for my wife (Japanese) and son couple of times last visit.
Another Indian friend of mine with his American wife was told by a coolie to stay away from the Mem Sahib when he tried to load their luggage in a train! He was told "Mem Sahib ko Tang Mat Karo" in Hindi

capt_mahajan

(If I may, "Mem Sahib ko Tang Mat Karo" means 'don't bother the lady' )

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Outside the machine

Alohaguy

Yes Captain, you are right! As they say "My bad"

capt_mahajan

Nah, I thought people would enjoy the joke better if they had a translation

Bollywood Barbie

hi guys, thanks for your advice - i actually think pretending to be married could be fun! especially if it stops us from getting arrested!!!

machadinha

Brishti, thanks for the feedback. Always nice to hear people enjoy the site, all for their own reasons and perspectives

Not sure about the Indian law at all, anyway as stated repeatedly above, I guess in practice it's just not very important. I suppose it's like that in many countries; can't think of too many where it would be enforced though, and besides most hoteliers will just want to rent out that room before anything else. You may run into some hotels where rooms have a, er, markedly high overturn rate, although in India I didn't come across too many of those.

I'm reminded of returning to Spain after years and any grasp of the language having slipped somewhat. Calling up about a room, I was asked if I wanted a "cama [=bed] de matrimonio," and thinking of matrimony I was like oh boy, here we go again and I hadn't thought this would be a problem. Turns out this just means a double bed, not a marital one, and everywhere we went it was like "!Ah! !Mi hijo, mi hija!" (Basically, Hi kids! )

Anyway and like the others, no, I reckon in India too and usually, it won't be a problem. Maybe at some ashrams or so, on religious grounds, which would just be explained to you. And like the others I suppose an intercultural relationship may attract some more inquisitiveness, then again as Aishah never tires of saying, Indians are so used to having thousands of cultural idiosyncrasies all mixed up together anyway, you may be amazed at their powers of assimilation at the same time.

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Reading tips, all picked up at IndiaMike : INDAX's A Comprehensive Guide To India / Dinoj Surendran's Desi Humor / ITHVC on Culture Shock & Travel Health / JetLag Travel Guides For the Undiscerning Traveller / India Travel Links

terreneuve

i'm going to india with my "husband" in a month(i personally don't believe in marriage, but we are common law married here in Canada, so it doesn't make me too squeamish to say it). but i'm doing all the planning. i've been told that when you are a woman travelling with a man, indian people will most likely speak to the man. but i'm the one with the credit card, the reservations, etc. is this going to be a problem when dealing with hotel clerks, and other people in the service industry?

Nick-H

No, it is not going to be a problem.

An annoyance, maybe, but nobody is going to demand his credit card while having yours waved in their faces.

Don't worry about it.