Notes For The Accidental Tourist. The Commandments.

Britishraj

A Commonsenscecial Perspective..A tongue 'n' cheek analyis.
Culture Curry:
You have landed on a planet without having left earth.

1. Do not adjust your mind. There is a fault in reality. Life is full of suprises, don't insist on everything to be predictable.

2. Many things don't happen as they ought. Most things don't happen at all.

3. There are moments when everything goes well,don't be frightened...it won't last.

4. Fool proof systems in India don't take into account the ingenuinty of fools.

5. Always ask for a receipt, a verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on.

6. The Indian Head-Wabble doesn't always mean No. It can also translate to Yes, or I'll give you a definet Maybe, or perhaps I really don't have a clue.

7. They can convince you that you're going places,when he's really taking you. I don't pay attention to them. I don't even ignore them.

8. If it's not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan. Dumb luck beats sound planning everytime...trust me.

9. The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

10. Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to reconize a mistake when you make it again.

11. Travel Agent: If all the breath he expends on his phony claims could be converted into power, it would supplant Atomic Energy. Choose wisely.

12. It maybe that all the people can't be fooled all of the time, but be sure he is trying. A positive attitude will not solve alll your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

13. The average Joe Blogs has 12 billion brain cells, and if he gets in a especially tight corner, he will use a dozen or so of them as a last resort. His elevator dose'nt go all the way to the top.

14. The character you will encounter most has five keen senses: sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. All he lacks is 'common sense'

15. Push 'n' Shove; with a population of a billion people, expect to be run over by pedestrians in some cities.

16.Enlightenment Industries: Attention all 'Wisdom Seekers' Metaphyscial Tramps' and lost souls in various stages of confusion, seeking solutions to the mysteries of life, searching for rainbows end. Don't despair. There's a plethora of 'genuine fake' costume drama queens available, with their Abracadabras to solve all life's problems for ' A Few Dollars More.'
GurusandGodmen@yourservice.ple ase.com
Capitalism made in Disneyland
Aliens live in California
Nirvana packaged in India.

17. Prepare for the worst. Expect the Best. Take what comes.

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Elvis Has Left The Building