My trip with a Baby.

Ramachandra Rao.M

mr.steven_ber,
veri nice,your concept is something different and you put in letters is extraordinary trial, keep it up and continue to write,
though not poetical, it is interesting.

Nick-H

Pure, poetry, Mr RRM--- it's pure poetry

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Jaya

Coconut oil is the best when it comes to any kind of rash

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steven_ber

Sorry for the long gap, a combination of being very busy, and wishing I’d never shared such personal information (Post 29), the road to recovery sadly sees too many backward steps, but onwards and upwards.
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I took Maggie to the sea for a swim as Michelle made a fresh set of bottles, it’s always great fun in the sea with Maggie, but it’s damn hard work on your own, I then give Maggie a quick shower, then some sun cream, than we all went for another walk, I took just a few hundred rupees with me, not deliberately, when you’re concentrating on a baby, other important things like passports and money can easily be forgotten, when I dressed I just picked up the loose money from the table and forgot my money belt, this would make for an interesting afternoon.

Walking through the streets of southern Calangute is kind of weird, something doesn’t feel right and it’s hard to figure out what it is, the locals are not locals, they’re a mix of people from all over India, they all seem to be involved in the tourism industry in some way and I get the feeling the last person to leave the town at the end of the season turns the light out till next season, I know this isn’t the case though.

The shops are for tourists, the taxi’s are for tourists, there’s none of those little stores that have everything you thought you’d never wanted, no 30 year old coke cans in glass cabinets, no streams of soap powder sachets hanging everywhere, the street corners had no paan wallahs surrounded by locals chatting away whilst listening to the cricket on an old battered radio, No temples, no mosques, no roadside Dabhas, and I’ve only seen 2 cows in 2 days, but despite all this, I’m still unsure what it is that’s so different, then it hits me, where’s the chai wallahs?

Everywhere I’ve visited in India has chai wallahs, what the hell are we to do in the morning without Chai wallahs? I feel cheated, who’s stole the chai wallahs? Where they hosed off the streets? Where they removed to present a nice image to tourists? Wherever they are, I miss them.

There were many things I wanted to show Michelle to give her an idea of why I love India, sadly, too many of those things are missing from Calangute and I find myself struggling to justify the important part India plays in my life.

It’s as if someone has ‘airbrushed’ all the detail out of a photo to show it in a way ‘they’ think a tourist wants to see it, Thailand does this with much more style and far more beauty.

Anyway, back to the walk.

We decided to walk towards the main part of Calangute, but walked along the main road instead of the beach, the road has loads of women selling all sorts of clothes, none of these women looked to be from Goa, they all talk to Maggie before trying to sell us something, they’re completely wasting their time with me, I rarely buy anything, and when I do, I usually go to the place that has give me the least hassle whilst I’ve been in the area, but Michelle is interested in everything, seems like a good time to give her a lesson in the art of bargaining in India (from a person who’s terrible at it ).

She says she’d love a t-shirt, the one she likes is cheap and should cost no more than Rs50, I’d already explained about bargaining, so I give Michelle Rs80 (she refuses to carry money herself) and go for a walk with Maggie, the last words I heard were “Rs400” .

I bought myself a pineapple juice and sat where I could watch Michelle, she looked like she was having fun, Maggie tried the juice, screwed her face a bit, then wanted more, screwed her face some more, then wanted more….she seemed to love the juice, then suddenly Michelle appeared, angry that I’d left her with the t-shirt seller, and furious that the t-shirt seller wouldn’t let her get away from the stall, she still had Rs80 in her hand.

We walked further down the road, all the time being targeted by these women selling clothes, Michelle was saying “tomorrow”, a foolish thing to do, these women have amazing memories, and as we’ve got Maggie with us, they will recognise us immediately.

A well-presented young man stops his motorbike and presents us with 2 free lottery card style scratch cards, although I appear a little uninterested, he reveals that the first card isn’t a winner, darn, how unlucky, but he then tells us that we’re very lucky, the 2nd. Card wins the top prize, he’s so excited by this that I don’t need feel the need to get excited, he tells me that we can all jump on his bike (including Maggie) and go and collect our prize, how kind .It’s all a sales pitch though, they sell some kind of timeshare, I went along with the whole thing once in Thailand, very good sales people that could easily sell you something you’d later regret, be warned.

There motorbike sellers would become a real pain for the rest of the holiday, we’d be targeted a minimum 5 times a day, try to remember that they’re only trying to earn a living, the only thing I found that worked, was to say “no spek Englis”.

We walked long enough for me to become disgusted at the prices they charge for everything here, a shave = Rs30 (10-15 most other places in India), a green coconut = Rs30 (10-15), I feel I could list anything and everything, Michelle is starting to think I’m mean with my money and starts with the “think about how much it is in our money”, she’s wasting her time and should know that I’m too stubborn to give in, I’ve been spoilt by knowing the real price of things in India, and I’ll never give in to the (wealthy) cowboys who rip off tourists, I’m reminded of something I read on the Internet, it said that English tourists will argue over every price in Goa, good on them.

I'm starting to hope the rest of Goa isn't like Calangute.

On the way back to the hotel we walked into a fully staffed travel agents to book a trip, nobody would talk to us, eventually a woman asked us what we wanted, I told her we wanted to book one of her tours, she told me to come back the next day as they’re not open today .

After a few phone calls I found a travel agent who’d book us onto ‘The Jungle Book’ trip, something we’d been looking forward to and had been unable to book from London, a man come to our hotel and we paid for the 2-day, 1-night tour (Can’t remember the price, but somewhere between Rs12000 and Rs13000 total), not cheap, but it would be worth it.

As Michelle talked to the owners of our hotel, I took Maggie round the garden and showed her (and got her to touch) all the different flowers and trees and showed her the well at the bottom of the garden, although it’s not a big garden, this must have still took about an hour as Maggie was fascinated by all the different colours, but probably more excited at having some quality time with her dad, by now I was really starting to realise how little time I spent with her at home and that we were only now starting to get to know each other.

We had planned to use a childminder on this trip so we could take moonlight walks along the beach or have an evening to ourselves, but we changed our minds when we got here, the hotel owner would have been perfect, she got along with Maggie very well and was happy to help, but Maggie just seemed more vulnerable and more clingy in the strange surrounding, though looking back, she was happy enough and always seemed to be laughing, I think we just wanted her with us all the time, and it may sound strange when you consider Maggie was 7 months old, but it’s kind of like I was falling in love with Maggie, and Michelle was overjoyed that Maggie was getting to know her dad, so we all just wanted to be together all the time.

We're still struggling to get any 'solid' food into Maggie, she's just not interested, it's disappointing, but she's having her bottles and also plenty of fruit juices and water.

Later that evening we went to the ‘Little Italy’ restaurant and had a great meal and a bottle of wine, it’s a great setting and has very good food and wonderful service, but at about Rs3000 for our meal, it’s very overpriced, but as Michelle wasn’t enjoying the food she’d had so far, she needed a bit of spoiling.


More later.....

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navinkurian2002

Its true in some of the places. The turn off the lights, and barricade the doors and them come back after the rain

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the irish indian

Steven,
I have just read your story to date.

FANTASTIC !!!!

I have to go to work now as you have kept me late.
Cant wait to read the next phase.
Dont keep us waiting and yeah you have to write the book.

Regards,
Remy

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steven_ber

Yes true, but I was refering to the whole town, almost as if the last person to leave turns off the town's lights at the end of the season.

nomad

great stuff!!!

5* from me

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capt_mahajan

Ok anything else happened with the money belt??

Well written, again.

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dhans

Once again, Steve don't be sorry, keep on taking these steps and remeber, The Echternach Procession alwyas reaches it's destination...

Thanks again for sharing,

Hans

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Tips for trips to India with (young) children: India with kids
Stories about our travels in India: Journal

Nick-H

Thanks Steven for another piece of beautiful writing. I was right with you in that garden with Maggie and the flowers

steven_ber

Jungle Book trip today, we have to meet the bus at 08:00, so we got up at 06:00, we’d already packed the night before but had to make fresh bottles and make sure there was nothing we were forgetting.

Packing was hard, we had to decide what to take for 2 full days, but needed to get everything into one suitcase, needless to say, after deciding what we needed, we had too much and had to think again about everything, about two-thirds of the case was filled with things for Maggie., and we were also taking her fold-up push chair.

We woke Maggie at 07:00 and we were all ready to leave by 07:45, this would have been quite an achievement in London, but on holiday…….

It had gone through my mind that I’d given over Rs12000 to someone I didn’t know and had only spoke to on the telephone, he said he was an agent for the ‘jungle book’ tour, but I only had his word for it, I was relieved when the bus arrived, it was comfortable, we only had one more pick-up then we were on our way.

Here’s the full ‘Jungle book’ Itinerary.

http://www.goaecotourism.com/packagedetails.php?id=3

It’s a nice drive through Goa and maybe 90 minutes to our first stop, but it was to be a long 90 minutes.

Maggie hadn’t had enough sleep, for the first hour the excitement of the bus trip kept her occupied, but then she started playing up, it didn’t matter what we did, when she gets overtired she is hell, she started crying, biting, pulling at everything, kicking, pushing, anything but sleep, a baby in this kind of mood can make any parent feel inadequate, add to this the fact that you know half of the people on the bus are thinking “why did they have to come on this tour” and probably thinking that we’re cruel bringing a baby to India, a very frustrating final 20 minutes on the bus will seem like eternity.

We eventually arrived at a spice plantation for a little tour and lunch, but as I got off the bus I was really worried that Maggie was getting herself a bit overheated, I was trying to put the baby harness on myself, (a puzzle at the best of times), but I was getting it all wrong, we were also trying to work out what we’d need for this little tour (all belongings were to be left on the bus, though that isn’t an option for us), without any explanation (about length of time in this location) from the tour guide, everyone just started walking away from the bus, luckily, there was a group of people with an elephant close by and this slowed the group, we just managed to catch them up when they started down a narrow path, by now, Maggie is going crazy and I feel like screaming, so started arguing with Michelle, realising I was in the wrong and that Maggie needed to be away from the group, I told Michelle to follow the group and I stayed behind to calm Maggie down.

She slowly calmed down and I give her a bottle, then we went over to watch the elephant for a while before I took her for a walk and got her to sleep, it was a nice area and the elephant was lovely, good job really, I was still trying to cool down and I had no idea where the group had gone, after about 40 minutes, someone from the group found me and I went to join the rest of the group.

They were nearing the end of the spice plantation tour, but it looked interesting and the guide had a good sense of humour, at the end of the tour everyone had a chance to try some coconut fenni (strong alcohol spirit), I think Michelle had some…….

(It should be added, I had already done almost everything that was on offer in this tour, so was happy to take Maggie and allow Michelle to experience these things)

We then had lunch in the spice plantation, a really nice setting, by a small lake in the middle of the forest.

Lunch was nothing special, though there was plenty of it, the beer looked the best I’d seen a beer look since my drinking days (I haven’t quit drinking, but I restrict it to one or two beers every couple of months), Michelle enjoyed it, there was a little entertainment, but I can’t remember what it was, so probably nothing special.

Another hour on the bus and we arrived at the Shanti Nature Resort (camp), a nice place, basic, but everything you needed, though probably too basic for some, we checked in then went to find our shacks, a basic room with only a double bed (with full mozzie net) and one cupboard (with draws I think), there was electricity, so I plugged in our electronic mozzie zapper (forgot it when we left), there was a separate bathroom/toilet at the back, can’t remember if it had a shower, but it had water and one of those plastic dishes, you fill this with water (cold, but OK) and empty it on your head or other parts of your body, then shower this way, I’ve no idea why, but I prefer this method of washing over any other, it just seems so refreshing.

Michelle seemed happy with the room, an hour persuading her how terrible it would be seemed to do the trick, she was relieved, Maggie’s back to her normal great mood, so she’d be happy with anything.

We’d been told to be back at the bus within 10 minutes, the 4 minutes it took to get to and from our room left us with 6 minutes, plenty of time to have a look at the new room, unpack, change Maggie and get the things we needed to go swimming, we were a minute late, but one of the first to get back to the bus.

A short drive took us to a nice stream, deep in places, shallow in others, nice fresh water and a couple of small waterfalls (smooth rapids really), it was a nice setting and the first time we’d been able to relax all day, the water seemed colder than the sea, so we only put Maggie in up to her waist to keep up the fight against Nappy rash, she enjoyed it, Michelle went for a quick swim, then it was my turn.

I gracefully glided through the water whilst enjoying the rapids and the scenery………That sounds good, doesn’t it, so now for the truth…….I tried to be clever and swim/pull myself up through these rapids to get to the little pool above, it was much harder than I thought, but I wouldn’t give in, I eventually made it and decided to turn around, that’s when the water pushed me back to where I started whilst bashing me on the rocks on the way back down, I get some scratches on my back, a small cut on my arm, and for the next 5 minutes I was convinced I’d broken a rib, it was OK in the end, and just left a nasty bruise.

We then went back to the camp and had tea/coffee, note, tea, not chai, I asked why, “The tourists prefer tea”.

Then the elephants came and it was time for Michelle to ride an elephant, the elephants looked fantastic and seemed much better cared for than others I’d seen on my travels, Maggie was fascinated with the elephants but we wont allow her to ride, an elephant is just too high, Michelle enjoyed the elephant ride, then took Maggie on a bullock cart ride, the bulls well pulling a nice, seated, covered carriage, a bullock bus would have been a better description, I had visualised the bulls pulling a flat surfaced cart with no seats or cover and everyone’s legs dangling over the side, but the jungle book trip is definitely aimed at the package tour market, so doesn’t feel the need for authenticity, Michelle and Maggie enjoyed it.

It’s about 17:00, so that must mean it’s time for another short bus trip, this time to a ‘tribal village’, we visit the home of the tribal elder/head of the village, well, not his home, just his yard as he’s not home, I get a slap from Michelle when I suggest he’s at his friends house trying out their new Playstation 2 games.

So on we go to see a ‘real’ tribal household, I’ve visited Indian homes in Delhi, Jodhpur, Jaipur, Gujarat (about 10 homes), Kerala, Assam (4 homes), Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai, so I was interested in seeing the differences in this household, I was disappointed, the TV seemed to be the centrepiece of the main room, all the house looked comfortable and strangely similar to most of the other places I’d visited, and the family probably belonged to a lower caste, but were reasonable well off, the goat tied up in the corner of the room was different, but I saw nothing at all of a tribal nature or to suggest the occupants lived a tribal lifestyle. (but what do I know, maybe tribal life is no different to the way other Indians live).

The occupants of the house seemed more interested in Maggie than the rest of our group, probably because they had a poster on the wall with a baby who looked a lot like Maggie, I could have pretended Maggie was the god of babies, but unfortunately, we were too rushed, we left the house to find a group of about 10 children (about 6-10 year olds) lined up on the porch, I guess they were all being punished for missing school, probably true as they were all ordered to sing a tribal song to the tourists, the look on their faces suggests they’ll never miss school again.

The song was awful, and the singing was not much better, I had visions of Simon Cowell saying, “that was painful, almost like a group of kids being told to sing to strangers”, but Maggie and Michelle enjoyed it.

It was interesting watching the other tourists, some were close to tears (though it could have been the pace of the tour), some looked as if they’d just watched a child being born and others wanted to adopt a child, then came the crushing announcement that would shake the tour group back into the real world, it was our turn to sing a song to the children, the atmosphere changed in an instant, grown men were seen weeping, women were checking their hair and make-up, I’m imagining the women singing Madonna’ ‘Like A Virgin’, and the men singing “I’m too sexy for my shirt”, but when the song came, it was memorable, I can’t remember what song it was, but it was memorable, out of a group of about 18 people, maybe 4 people sang, and all of those in a very low embarrassed voice, It was definitely an “I’d rather be watching Sky TV” moment (from the advert).

After this humiliation, we all slowly skulked back to the bus, not many words were said, but it was widely agreed that this event would never be mentioned again.

Back at the camp we had some soup, and then were all invited to buy food for the elephants, the food were a kind of dried rice balls maybe 6 inches across, these were sold in bags of maybe 6 or more for Rs200 a bag, most people bought a few bags, then it was time for the Elephant show.

We’d been looking forward to this, a few tricks performed by the elephants, but mainly the story of where these elephants came from and a lot of general info about elephants, but it was something we could enjoy together, or so I thought…..

Maggie was hungry and tired, so I took her back to our hut, got a bottle, went to get it heated up, then back to the hut, give her a quick wash, changed her clothes and fed her, put some mozzy repellent on her, then put her in her pushchair and took her to see the elephant show, or should I say the last 10 seconds of the elephant show, Michelle says it was an interesting show.

We were now allowed to go and have a good look at the elephants, to touch them and feed them, they were all dressed up and looked amazing.



Feeding the elephants was a great experience and all the elephants looked amazingly happy, there was a really cute baby elephant who wouldn’t stop dancing, Maggie couldn’t take her eyes of him/her, the bright colours on these massive elephants had Maggie amazed, and finally made my mind up about where to go on our other excursion from Calangute. (I’d been advised by indiamikers of many places, but hadn’t made my mind up where to go), we fed, touched and photographed the elephants for about 30 minutes; it was a truly great experience for all, especially Maggie, I’d been worried that she’d be afraid of the elephants, but she wasn’t, she was fascinated, her eyes lit up so much, it was another of those moments when we were so happy we were all on holiday and I felt we’d made the right decision to bring Maggie.

8 PM must mean it’s time for dinner

More later…

haydn

namaste/salaam alaikum steven + friends,
your story has carried me back like a camel train, all bumpy, smelly and jangly, to a beach on crete with my 10 month old twin boys pock-marked with grease spots like some kind of industrial plague. and the intricate paths that had lead us there through cold damp blighty with its op shop beanies and muddy fields, through france where uptight parents whisked their bowed and frilled darlings away from our bare foot grubby'gypsy' urchins and where the van finally died, fragrant portugal hanging our nappies over bushes to dry as the boys rolled around on the grass under the benevolent gaze of village women, finding a double pram (!) in the harsh rubbish heap of a spanish town's outskirts and dusty oranges, and on and on..
thanks for reminding me of all that delicious struggle.. and for sharing yours! its funny, it was on that beach that the boy's mum and i decide to separate. i remember watching the hotel 'lifeguard' telling off some children for throwing his hotel's sand (!) into the sea.
and now Theo and Alex are 17 and i'm on this site 'cause we're travelling to india at the end of the year with my partner
(you were the first to reply to my thread about boats to diu). it should be a whole other kind of adventure. the boys' are hanging out for extreme snowboarding in kashmir, i'm just looking forward to the extreme.
again, thanks for your story. and i remember that girl on that beach in greece and smile that despite our efforts nature will have her way and we will drift to just the right place in time. best wishes
shantih

Dayglowhamster

Thanks for this Steven.

I just popped in to see if anyone I knew was still here (hoping you remember me at all?) because I have some news - I'm pregnant!

This was the first post I saw and I don't know but it gave me some hope.

There's lots of reasons I can't really write here why your post was special to me, but it was and I'm grateful.

Take care of yourself - I remember you very well and am so happy to see you still here.

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Nick-H

Hello DG-Hamster, long time no see!

Glad to hear about the pregnancy, and looking forward to your thread on travelling with a youngster