My trip with a Baby.

steven_ber

The following is the start of a trip report about our recent holiday in Goa with our 7-month old baby girl Maggie, I don’t normally do trip reports because I’m a slow typist, but thought there were a few things I’d like to have known before our trip, so thought I’d share the experience, I started off just trying to put down a few useful points, but I just couldn’t do it that way, so ended up doing the fuller version.

Some times I've used 'I' and sometimes 'we', I've just kept adding to it when I get a rare chance to, so continuity may be a problem.

So far I’ve only done up to our arrival in Goa, but I’ll keep adding to it, sorry if it’s boring, I’m not a writer, and I always give more info than is needed, it’s just the way I am.


OK, lets start from the beginning…..



When I realised that Michelle was the girl for me, I sat her down and explained what India meant to me, the plans I had regarding India and the trips I had planned, I explained that she can come with me to India or stay home, but I will be going as often as I can.

I’d previously been in a relationship for over 15 years, always trying to make her dreams come true, yet always putting off my own dream of going to India, I’d never allow that to happen again.

I spent a couple of years planning a trip to Andhra Pradesh, Chhattisgarh and Bihar and finally bought the plane tickets, I’d been asking Michelle to come to India for a couple of years, but she always said no, I asked again before I bought the tickets, “how many times do I have to say it, NO I don’t want to go to India” was her reply.

So the countdown began, 6 weeks to go, then 5 weeks, then 4 weeks, then……..”I do want to go to India”….Arrgghh Nooooo, not NOW.

I asked her to give me a couple of hours to think about it.

I knew that I’d have to abandon my planned tour, I wasn’t sure if Michelle would like India, I know she hates spicy food, she hasn’t got a passport, has never been out of the UK, has never been on an aeroplane, and another small problem, our little Maggie will be 7 months old and there is no way we’d leave her with a stranger (anyone other than Mum or Dad), so, a lot to think about.

I’ve never though a short holiday with a baby in India would be a good idea, you’ll even find a post on indiamike where I advise against it, if you then consider that Michelle will likely have an enormous culture shock, I’d no idea how Maggie would take to the trip, and that we’ll now have to find £2000 in the next month, it’s easy to find reasons to say “not this time Michelle”.

But Michelle really needed a holiday, she’d had 6 months maternity leave with Maggie and really needed a change in scenery, I was secretly delighted that she wanted to go, but just wish I’d had more time to think it through and to plan.

The truth is, I wanted to say yes immediately, but had to think if I could handle Michelle experiencing culture shock or being ill, and deal with Maggie at the same time, I knew I could, so I said yes on the same day.

For anyone else considering taking a baby……..as the aeroplane starts it’s decent and the Indian air comes into the plane, I slip easily into my comfort zone, I am completely at ease in India, little surprises me now, and I’m always prepared for every eventuality, I know what culture shock feels like and know I’d be able to re-assure Michelle and make her comfortable, this made the decision easy, I’d still advise first timers not to take a baby.

It was only in the next few weeks that I realised my decision had been made without really considering Maggie or considering the enormity of travelling with a baby.

We started thinking about every single thing we do with Maggie and working out how we would do these things in India, feeding, cleaning, changing are the obvious things, but transportation, going for walks, eating in restaurants all offer their own additional problems, not to mention clothing, mosquitoes, the sun, the insecurity of unfamiliarity, I could go on and on.

There was a lot to consider and little time left, to start with, we need 2 new passports and visas, 2 new plane tickets, just to add to the pressure, I’d already paid about £400 for a Heathrow – Mumbai – Hyderabad, ticket returning from Mumbai, this ticket was non-refundable, as I was travelling alone, I didn’t care what time I got to Mumbai, so 23:00 was OK, now I needed to get Michelle and Maggie onto the same plane, 23:00 isn’t looking so good now.

So, passports and visas, best to get the simple things out of the way, so we telephone and get the latest passport application packs sent to us, but just to be sure, we check the passport office’s website and get the latest up-to-date info, complete the application forms, triple check everything is correct and all required documentation is included, have a final check on the website to make sure nothing has changed, get postal orders for the correct amount from the post office and have the post office assistant double check all is OK (have to pay for this check), then hand the forms in our self at the passport office, we had to make sure there would be no delay.

The Passport office took us to hell and back, they decided to change the rules and documentation requirements, but just forgot to tell anyone, every time we done as they asked, took time off work to get documents and take them to Peterborough (300 kms round trip), they then noticed the next problem, we sorted that out, then they noticed the next problem and so on, they wanted us to wait till Michelle had her passport, so she could use the same passport to prove she was Maggie’s mother, it went on and on and on……

We were waiting for the passports before we booked Michelle and Maggie’s airplane tickets, but things were getting close and we had to take a gamble, we bought their tickets, they were non-refundable, bet we had to take the passports to the air India offices before we’d be confirmed on the plane, so we’d now spent £1000 on air tickets, it had cost us nearly £400 for the passports (inc. time taken off work), we’d spent about £500 on things for the holiday (mostly for Maggie) and we were days away from departure with no passports or visas.

(BTW. Maggie’s plane fare was about £35, not bad….until you add the taxes, the total was about £140)

We eventually got the passports 2 days before our flights, got the visas and confirmed the tickets the following day.

Whilst we were trying to get the passports we had many other things to think about, ‘where to go in India’ was a good place to start.

I’ve been to Mumbai many times, and love the place, it’s also a very easy introduction to India, so then we had to decide where to go from there, it really had to be Goa, so many English speaking people, so used to tourists, a perfect climate, and easy to escape the touts if need be.

The only way I could see this working is if we stayed in one place and were able to cook ourselves, so I found the perfect ‘hotel’ (more later), booked it, then researched lots of things to do in the area, and places to visit, a lot more planning went into it than it sounds, but it was easy really, just time consuming, Michelle was very happy with the plans.

Maggie’s clothes….As I was planning my trip, I made sure Maggie and Michelle had everything they needed for the next few months, problem was, all that stuff was winter stuff, so now we needed to start again, luckily, it was October and all the summer stuff that hadn’t been sold in the sales was at a reduced price, there wasn’t a lot left, but we went to about 12 different shops and got everything Maggie needed for about £100.

We bought new cases, a new (tiny) pushchair (big mistake), sorted out a few toys to help Maggie feel a little more at home, loads more things, but more about them later in the thread.

Packing was a nightmare, about a quarter of the stuff was for Michelle and me, the rest for Maggie, we were taking enough baby milk formula for the whole trip (900g tin, 450g tin, 2 fresh made up bottles, about 8 pre-packed ready made cartons (a lifesaver)), we’d had to change her milk a few weeks before departure as the pre-packed cartons of the brand we were using were surprisingly small (about 7oz each) and we knew Maggie needed more. (the trip was for 15 days)



We had some worries about the flight:-

Pressure on Maggie’s ears – we needn’t have worried, apparently a babies eardrums are very flexible, so they don’t suffer in the way adults do. (though I think she felt it a little when descending on our return home).

Maggie getting bored and overtired - (when she gets overtired she completes a full transformation from an Angel to the devil, kicking, screaming, biting, pulling hair, and then she really loses her temper.)

Again, I over worried about this, Maggie is always great in new surroundings, she’s always looking around and rarely gets bored, and it’s also relatively easy to walk up and down the aircraft.

Aircrafts have bulkhead seats, in front of these seats a small cot is attached to the wall, it’s very useful for the baby to play and sleep, but restricts the passengers in the seats next to it, try to make sure you get an aisle seat and avoid window seats, reserve ahead.

Maggie hardly slept on the outbound flight, she was fascinated with all that was going on around her and we went for many walks up and down the plane.


Maggie being frightened of the whole experience of flying - This may sound strange, but I was more worried about this than anything else, yet at the same time I wasn’t really worried (I did say strange), So why was I not so worried?

At Maggie’s age, all motion is good motion, it feels to her like she is being rocked, she also has complete trust in her parents and if there are any strange noises, a cuddle is normally enough to reassure her, luckily we’d just been through Divali, Eid and other calibrations in London that were full of loud fireworks and strange noises, at first these fireworks scared her, but when we held her and showed her what was happening, she was happy, we’d also been to a few crowded festivals to see how she’d react, and she loved them.

I was however, very worried that I could have got it all wrong and that the airplane would scare her.

I needn’t have worried, she loved it.


Touchdown in Mumbai.

This is where I expected the problems to begin, and sad to say, they did.

It was now Maggie’s bed time in England and we’d given her a hundred things to think about, she hadn’t slept as much as I thought she would, she only slept for about 2 hours, we’d just stripped off her winter clothes as she was now entering a hot, humid environment, the air smells completely different and feels different, there are lots of strange people everywhere (she has a Pakistani child minder and spends lots of time with children of Asian appearance), she was hungry, tired, and with strange surroundings we knew we were in for a tough time.

We were lucky, we were being met at the airport by a very friendly member of indiamike, he helped with the luggage and took us to his house.

(I’d have give anything to watch Michelle’s face on this first car trip, I remember the multitude of emotions that ran chaotically through my body when I first arrived in India, but we were both trying to re-assure Maggie and meke sure she was OK)

We arrived at the flat and got all our luggage and Maggie up to the flat, Maggie was quiet for a while as she surveyed the new surroundings, but somehow we knew this would be short lived.

We only had about 5 hours till our train departed from Mumbai CST station, and our host was fantastic, he had everything we needed, he’d given up his double bedroom for us, so we tried to settle Maggie, it was no use, by now she was over tired and started screaming the place down, it was 2 in the morning, we tried her with a bottle, but she wouldn’t have it, I could see that Michelle was feeling really awkward and knew I had to get them out of the flat and to the train station, it was probably the only way to calm Maggie down, though I knew my host would think we were mad and wouldn’t understand, but I had to think of Maggie and Michelle.

(BTW, I’ve used CST station about 8 times previously and know the station like the back of my hand, the station is policed at night and they always sit in the same place, there is a ladies waiting room, there are places to get Chai, I knew we’d be OK on the station)

So we left and got a cab to the station, I put the luggage in the cloak room and we went for our first walk in Mumbai, had some chai and Samosas, introduced Maggie to many people, waited for the right moment and give her a bottle, she slept till we got on the train.

I spent about an hour trying to find out if we were booked into a 4 berth compartment or a 2-berth coupe (First Class air con), when booking over the internet we couldn’t indicate that we’d be travelling with a baby (you can if you book over the counter), and we were too late to request a coupe as the berths are allocated the night before, so I was eventually told that we were in a coupe, just to confirm I asked the station manager, he sent me to a reservation supervisor, he sent me back to the station manager, he then sent me back to the person I’d already asked, he then sent me to the reservation boss, he confirmed that we were in a coupe.

So we’re now on the train, due to depart at 7, but it’s 7:45, into the first class carriage and into a 4-berth compartment, we didn’t have a coupe after all, “It’s good to be back in India” I think to myself.

I’m no fan of First Class air con, and within 10 seconds of entering the compartment I’m reminded why, Michelle says “It’s bloody freezing in here”, so I turn the air con off and we try to get settled, we’ve got a load of luggage, and I’m horrified to find that the 2 biggest cases won’t go under the seat, there too high, the fixed bottom berth has a gap of about 12 inches (30cms) below it for luggage, but the modern suitcases tend to be smaller, but fatter, so I put them on the top berth.

An Indian man then entered the compartment to take his seat/berth, first thing he does is switch the air con back on, luckily, the 4th berth wasn’t booked, so we could keep our luggage on that berth, the man wasn’t too happy to see a baby in the compartment (and who can blame him), I said hello then offered him my newspaper to read, he took it, never said thanks and never spoke to us for the remainder of our 14 hour journey, and yes, he could speak English.

As any parent will know, one hour into the journey we had about 20 things out of the cases for Maggie and there seemed nowhere to put anything, but we tried hard to keep the compartment clean and tidy.

Michelle was looking tired and Maggie getting hungry, So I put Maggie into her harness, strapped her to my chest (facing out) and went for a walk down the train, eventually I found the Pantry car, there was about 15 men working in very hot, very slippery conditions, but they all looked very happy, I asked them to ‘make hot’ Maggie’s bottle (“heat up” doesn’t seem to be understood), they were happy to do so.

One thing I’ve learnt in India, is that people will do anything to please you, and will go out of their way to do the right thing, this isn’t always a good thing.

I watched as they emptied the contents of the bottle into a pan and boiled the milk, I was still trying to work out how to cool the milk down when I noticed the next helpful thing they done, they washed the bottle in tap water, I just smiled, give them Rs20 for their trouble and left, I will suggest to anyone not to try to get them to do this differently, they’re only doing what they think is best.

So I had fun tying to buy a plastic container off a man selling samosas, the language barrier didn’t help and he couldn’t understand that I wanted the container and not the samosas, so I bought all the samosas and the container for Rs150, he left, very confused, I give the samosas to a boy who was cleaning the floor in Sleeper class, he was happy, but much happier when I let him touch Maggie, he squeezed her cheek then touched her hand, she smiled and laughed and he went running through the carriage almost skipping, I caught up with him later as he was selling the samosas back to the samosa man.

I bought 2 bottles of cold water, quickly washed the top and the teat of the bottle, dried them, then washed them again, then began shaking the bottle gently, this used the boiling milk to sterilise the inside of the bottle, then I forced the milk through the teat far a minute, this sterilised the teat, then put cold water into the plastic container and cooled the bottle and it’s milk down till it was ready for Maggie to drink, of course, Maggie was asleep by the time her bottle was ready.

I took Maggie up to the upper berth, put a couple of blankets over her and cuddled her, we both slept for about 3 hours, she then woke up and wanted a bottle, here we go again.

Maggie was washed, changed and fed and was amazingly happy, but it was time for Michelle to sleep again (we were all in a state of constant tiredness), so I took Maggie for a walk again, I was very happy to do this as the first class cabin felt like a morgue and I wasn’t sure if the Indian man was still alive.

We walked up and down the train, getting off for a walk when the train stopped, trying new food, snacks and drinks and being photographed everywhere we went.

Walking through the train is one of the times I feel it’s important to have experience of India and the way Indian people can be, it seemed like everyone wanted to either hold Maggie, touch her or take her photo, but they all meant well and Maggie was loving the attention, but it can be quite intense and I think if I were on my first trip I may have just ran back to the first class cabin.

I got chatting to a family in Sleeper class, Maggie was playing with the children and the father was inviting me to take Maggie and Michelle to his home in Madgaon, the mother was telling me what food can be given to Maggie and I was asking their opinions on a role Maggie could play in a Bollywood movie, how much more interesting Sleeper Class is compared to a first class compartment with a man who won’t speak to us.

We were talking about the impact tourism has on the locals and Maggie was sucking on the only piece of melon that hadn’t dribbled down her clothes, when Michelle came walking down the train looking very worried, she said we’d been gone for over 3 hours, I wanted to say “No, not a minute over 3 hours” but she didn’t look in the mood.

I had to keep reminding myself that this was Michelle’s first trip outside the UK and I needed to make sure she was OK.

So back to our lovely first class compartment, the difference between the temperature inside the compartment and the temperature in the corridor (and Sleeper class carriages) was staggering and I think dangerous, I knew at that moment that I couldn’t take Maggie out of the compartment again.

I like First Class air con less and less each time I use it, it doesn’t help that I often get stuck with strange fellow passengers, though to be fair, if my fellow passengers always got stuck with someone like me, they wouldn’t be too happy with First Class either, the windows always seem darker in First Class, a lot darker than other air con classes, so it’s difficult to see the outside world, but maybe the most frustrating thing is the air con, Indian passengers seem to think “I’ve paid for the air con so I want it on full”, so it gets bloody cold, but to be fair, if you don’t leave the compartment, you will get used to the temperature and find it very pleasant, but the heat will hit you like a brick wall when you get to your destination.

We slept again and finally arrived at Thivim at about 21:00, everything was packed up again, though as always, it seemed so much harder to get it all back in the cases, we left the station and got a pre-paid cab to Southern Calangute and prepared for the next lot of problems, there was no way Maggie (or any of us) would sleep all night, but we’ll deal with that when it happens.

We found the ‘hotel’ easily enough (Manthevan Homes, remind me later to give more details, this place and their staff were absolutely perfect)

We were welcomed and shown to our apartment, a three room place with toilet/bathroom, large kitchen and even bigger main room, a nice patio (or balcony depending on floor), tables and chairs outside and an absolutely gorgeous garden with a well and loads of different plants and trees, we had a large, clean fridge, a kettle, some pans, plates and utensils, and we could either wash our own clothes (in a washing machine) or get one of the staff to do it, we had a line to hang the washing out, a TV with satellite channels, the place was clean, spacious (at least till we got the baby things out) and very quiet, it would have been great value at Rs2000 a night, but it only costs Rs1000 a night, and that includes the taxes, an absolute bargain.

One of the owners brought us a cup of tea and told us to leave all the paperwork till the next day.

So the journey is over, now the hard work begins, we play with Maggie for a little while and show her round the place, we put her in front of a mirror (her favourite pastime) and she laughs, we give her a shower, but we had to be careful, Babies just love to open their mouths and swallow that shower water, I played a game with Maggie, I wet a flannel with bottled water and covered her face with it whilst making out to be playing a game, Michelle then washed the top half of Maggie quickly, she always fell for it because she was biting the flannel to 'stop' us from taking it.

We covered Maggie with mosquito repellent, again by pretending to play with her and plugged in the electronic mosquito zapper, Maggie was now hungry, we all were, so Michelle fed Maggie and I went to get us some food, Maggie had finished the bottle by the time I got back, we got her comfortable then she fell asleep.

We ate our dinner then spent the next 90 minutes working bloody hard to get everything organised, I sterilised Maggie's bottles, then made some more (surprisingly hard work away from the comforts of home), kept the tea flowing, washed up, and generally found places for everything, Michelle had the harder job of unpacking everything, we ended up lying either side of Maggie and talking about the journey, the room and who’d get up in the night with Maggie (Michelle came to a unanimous decision that I’d get up), and we must have both fell asleep.

The next thing we knew it was 8 in the morning and Maggie was poking me in the face, amazing, we’d all slept right through, Maggie was in an amazing mood, Mammy hadn’t gone to work, Daddy wasn’t taking her to the childminders and we were all together with nothing to distract us, we must have played for about 2 hours before we realised that we should be outside looking at Goa, it was the first day of our holiday, but little did we realise that all the best times we’d have on the holiday were mostly in that room and could have easily been had without leaving London.


More to follow soon.


India With Kids, an excellent write up by Dhans.

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kpnuts

Very good point
he knew where they came from!

I did my first visit with a baby when she was 3 month old, luckily she was breast feed, so it was so much easier looking after just the mother. Resturants were great the staff would look after your kid while you have a really relaxed dinner/lunch especially in mumbai. This was 11 years ago so , this is all I remember, wish I had written things down.
thanks for sharing.

edwardseco

Was waiting for this and now I have to do a print out. Lots of work and toil and satisfaction with children. Makes me nostalgic because I forget the challenging side of child rearing. Miss that early stage of incredible pride and excitement but I will take solace in a smashing 99% result from my boy in the PSAT exam. Gives him confidence in the college entrance exams to follow. Very glad you could go to India Steven. Maybe I'll use this as support for my case! The union of India bereft travellers. Now continue the good work by subtly going out with your lady to Indian restaurants every now and then..

ranjan154

Hi Steve, Very cute baby .. i have dont have time at the moment to read the entire post, need to rush for office.. but will surely read it seems to have some interesting facts..

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rab

Good thread Stevie
Rated it five star for your efforts

rab

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capt_mahajan

I disagree.

Very interesting post.

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The cynic must remember that he is a spy (Epitectus)
Indiamike moderating team :- Odd mod out

martin86

great stuff...can't wait for the next instalment.

Palexurdy

Thanks, Steven. It's nice to read about your experiences & I'm sure that parents will find a lot of help & reassurance in this post.

machadinha

Yeh, right Excellent write-up Steven! Wonderfully detailed.

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Travelingbhat

Hi Steven,

I recently cancelled my plans to go to India with my (then) 8 month old twins for various reasons but reading your post, I am in a way glad I didnt go. As much as I love India and going to India, its really hard for us to enjoy our holidays unless we have help. One of our babies is lets say "passionate" and I dont think he would have handled the travels as well as your Maggie. Good that you took all the effort to go and seemed to have a good time even with all the work.

We even had a crazy plan to go the Andamans that I posted here about. Now that I have traveled with them and know their issues more, I am saving India for when they are 4!

Nick-H

Excellent stuff.

Please don't make us wait long for the next episode

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IndiaMike Mod Team (The Grumpy One)

shahronakm

Excellent one. You should write often.
Love to Maggie.

Ronak.

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ninasimone

Hi, was totally engrossed in reading about your journey, particularly visualising the trying to get the baby bottle warmed up and then sterile on the train. Hope your partner enjoyed India. Made me remember when I first landed in Mumbai and that first gush of hot/steam air and the smell.

aadil

Glad to see you enjoyed the trip and nicer still that Maggie could enjoy it all even at her age. I am sure she will be back for more pretty soon. And sometime later on we shall see her online on this site telling us her stories too.

Cheers,
Aadil.

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Hyderabadi

Great stuff! Reminded me of our own travels with our kids. Especially their mandatory visit to Tirupati(we were a 100% Indian back then)!