Blondes- to dye or not to dye? & women's wear, women's safety etc

Khak · Jul 11th, 2008, 10:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

Well... I saw more cleavage and midriff displayed by more women than I have seen in a long time over the past few days.

But before you guys hasten to follow my Kerala-village footsteps, I hasten to point out that most of the ladies were probably over 60.

shows your desparation

brownboy66 · Jul 11th, 2008, 13:53

......

capt_mahajan · Jul 11th, 2008, 13:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

Well... I saw more cleavage and midriff displayed by more women than I have seen in a long time over the past few days.

But before you guys hasten to follow my Kerala-village footsteps, I hasten to point out that most of the ladies were probably over 60.

For a moment there I did not realise you were talking about their age.

brownboy66 · Jul 11th, 2008, 14:17

stop....stop.....

brishti · Jul 11th, 2008, 14:52

uuufff... you're just too mucking fuch!

:brishti

federica · Jul 12th, 2008, 23:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sama

I really don't understand the thing about not wearing sleeveless tops. every clothes store I went into during all three trips sold sleeveless salwars and kurtas, and I'm not talking about only the more upscale stores. if they are so verboten then why do so many stores sell sleeveless tops?

Often you can buy sleeveless tops with attached sleeve parts. If you want it with sleeves, a tailor has to stitch them on the top. My experience is: mostly North Indian girls wear sleeveless, South Indian girls (at least from Kerala) don't. Same with short top shalwar kameez.

Side note: Funny that you are using the German "verboten"... Mostly we are using English words to express something special, and then it is called "New German"

Sama · Jul 13th, 2008, 00:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by federica

Often you can buy sleeveless tops with attached sleeve parts.

yes, I know about the sleeves that are later sown on, but I'm talking about true sleeveless salwars and kurtas that don't come with the short sleeves.

Quote:

Funny that you are using the German "verboten"

I'm half-German, my father came to the US from Danzig (before it was called Gdansk obviously!) so sometimes those words just sneak in...like a head wobble....

capt_mahajan · Jul 13th, 2008, 00:13

Taking this further offtopic, I liked Gdansk. Now Poland of course

Visited long time ago, just after Chernobyl blew.

federica · Jul 13th, 2008, 00:33

Had to read it twice.... first I thought you went to Chernobyl and then to Gdansk

But then I realised 1986...

Never been there, so no opinion about it. But in general there are beautiful cities in Eastern Europe. Baltic Sea is on my list.

capt_mahajan · Jul 13th, 2008, 00:41

sorry. added 'blew' to my last post.

and, ps, yes to the Baltic. And two yeses to the Norwegian fjords.

federica · Jul 13th, 2008, 01:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by capt_mahajan

And two yeses to the Norwegian fjords.

The real dream destination in Europe. Happy that I've been there.

Haylo · Jul 13th, 2008, 01:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by reneeautumn

I wasn't prepared for how wearing and stressful it would be to stand out and constantly be the object of attention for men. It was only threatening in Mysore (following me into a restaurant, into my hotel, etc)

How did you deal with that? Did you see them following you and decide it would be best to walk quickly away into your hotel, or did you take the route of challenging them?

Quote:

it was extreme to the point that I often found myself spending hours more a day in my hotel room simply so that I would not have to go out in public and face men again.

Wow, I can't imagine how horrible that would feel.

Here in England most of my friends are male and feeling that Indian men were out to get me would make me feel incredibly isolated! Hopefully my confidence that things will go better for me is well founded!

Quote:

I never was able to hook up with another woman traveler for more than a few hours or a day; if I had, that would have been a buffer and made traveling more pleasant.

Did you consider hooking up with any male travellers? Not in a sexual way, I mean in a friends / brotherly sort of way.

It's a genuine question, as I've rarely travelled abroad on my own, and don't have much idea how these things work. I just have this picture in my head that there must be a lot of Western males, a long way from home, who would be very glad of some friendly company, and who would have been very happy to accompany you out from your hotel.

Twinkle · Jul 30th, 2008, 21:58

Hey guys

I am tall and blonde and spent 2 weeks back-packing around Southern India and Rajasthan a few months back - it was my 4th trip so I knew what to expect - but this time I travelled alone (including several looong local bus trips and sleeper class train trips where I was the only westerner and often the only woman) and had zero problems.

I would suggest that if you act confident in your dealings with Indians (esp men) and in how you carry yourself around markets or public places you are probably less likely to attract the wrong sort of attention. Not scientific fact - it just worked for me.

I saw several pairs of poor western girls who were clearly worried/scared/lost/overwhelmed and as such had attracted mobs of men to observe the action - or get involved.

Each time I have visited India I have found my growing confidence in being there has reduced the amount of attention I get. If you dont have it - fake it.

Walk like you know where you are going (plan in advance) - learn some polite Hindi to deflect any unwanted approaches.

(NB: I am not in any way suggesting confidence should mean you go outside your comfort zone or do anything that doesn't feel right for you - as always common sense prevails)

Sama · Jul 30th, 2008, 22:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twinkle

I travelled alone (including several looong local bus trips and sleeper class train trips where I was the only westerner and often the only woman) and had zero problems.

I always travel alone, have traveled on buses and overnight trains, where I am the only westerner, and like you, sometimes the only woman, and have had the same experience as you -- no problems.

Quote:

if you act confident in your dealings with Indians (esp men) and in how you carry yourself around markets or public places you are probably less likely to attract the wrong sort of attention. Not scientific fact - it just worked for me.

exactly.

Quote:

I saw several pairs of poor western girls who were clearly worried/scared/lost/overwhelmed and as such had attracted mobs of men

exactly again.

I am a firm believer in what you put out into the universe you get back. exude fear or helplessness, and just like in nature, the vultures start circling.

I have never hesitated to speak boldly and loudly, and as such, few men mess with me in india. hell, I sent a pack of insistent rick drivers scurrying away outside the train station in madurai when they got too close.

Quote:

Each time I have visited India I have found my growing confidence in being there has reduced the amount of attention I get. If you dont have it - fake it.

right on.

your advice is great.

karuna · Jul 30th, 2008, 22:21

This is straying too far into "you bring it on yourself" for me. This idea that we make our own reality is a dangerous one. Having known people who blamed themselves for every chance bad thing that happened to them because they firmly believed it was their own "negativity" that caused it, I know what damage this can cause.

No. I refuse to be made culpable for bad treatment through not displaying the qualities deemed positive by certain schools of thought. I will walk head bowed if I wish, and anyone who hassles me is a dick.

Jul 11th, 2008, 13:53	#872
brownboy66 Chicken 65 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New Delhi Posts: 2,266	...... __________________ "the last meal is history - its the next one that's important" - Garfield (the cat) IndiaMike Mod Team.... just some plonker with access to the mod tools

Jul 13th, 2008, 00:13	#878
capt_mahajan (in charge of navel affairs) Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: India Posts: 10,105	Taking this further offtopic, I liked Gdansk. Now Poland of course Visited long time ago, just after Chernobyl blew. Last edited by capt_mahajan : Jul 13th, 2008 at 00:41. Reason: added blew, after federica's post

Jul 30th, 2008, 22:21	#885
karuna The cat's mother Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: UK Posts: 1,718	This is straying too far into "you bring it on yourself" for me. This idea that we make our own reality is a dangerous one. Having known people who blamed themselves for every chance bad thing that happened to them because they firmly believed it was their own "negativity" that caused it, I know what damage this can cause. No. I refuse to be made culpable for bad treatment through not displaying the qualities deemed positive by certain schools of thought. I will walk head bowed if I wish, and anyone who hassles me is a dick. __________________ Indiamike mod squad's odd bod. I've lost my equilibrium and my car keys and my pride ~ Tom Waits [Indian Mona Lisa by Dinesh; can't find original uploader to credit in full.]

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Twinkle Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: London Posts: 15	Hey guys I am tall and blonde and spent 2 weeks back-packing around Southern India and Rajasthan a few months back - it was my 4th trip so I knew what to expect - but this time I travelled alone (including several looong local bus trips and sleeper class train trips where I was the only westerner and often the only woman) and had zero problems. I would suggest that if you act confident in your dealings with Indians (esp men) and in how you carry yourself around markets or public places you are probably less likely to attract the wrong sort of attention. Not scientific fact - it just worked for me. I saw several pairs of poor western girls who were clearly worried/scared/lost/overwhelmed and as such had attracted mobs of men to observe the action - or get involved. Each time I have visited India I have found my growing confidence in being there has reduced the amount of attention I get. If you dont have it - fake it. Walk like you know where you are going (plan in advance) - learn some polite Hindi to deflect any unwanted approaches. (NB: I am not in any way suggesting confidence should mean you go outside your comfort zone or do anything that doesn't feel right for you - as always common sense prevails)

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