Blondes- to dye or not to dye? & women's wear, women's safety etc

Sama

I find these two statements very interesting from a location standpoint, Europe v. US. just an observation, not a judgment.

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kristinm

I'm too old to be harrassed now, sometimes when I pass a building site I almost wish for the odd wolf-whistle! But seriously - I think there is a lot of validity in all the points made about women in general and their behaviour in public .. no matter where we are in the world we should never feel afraid or wrong to be in public - its just wrong... But as someone else pointed out there is also the vulnerability of being a tourist - wandering around with a map open looking lost is surely more of an invitation for trouble as being a woman.

Personally - I always think a smile, a hello and keep briskly walking away deals with most unpleasant situations - I've used it with skinheads in London, in alphabet city in Manhattan, thugs in Sydney - Never let them see you're afraid! Always be confident but not aggressive.

Some people just seem to have 'harass me' stamped on their heads, I'd love to pinpoint exactly what that is ....

robin312007

That's the Spirit !
All the countries got bad people as well as good people. And Believe me it has to be. I think Indians are more helpful than others. And they really respect the Foreigners. Overseas Tourists get more attention and Security than Indians. As long as you are in your limit it doesn't matter whereever you are. Whether its india or anywhere else in the world.

By the way what is your plan and where in India are you going to visit ?

Take Care....
Enjoy staying in India.........

byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sama

all good points, very true! I think the way a woman carries herself is the first line of defense. I mean, you don't have to act like a man, but the energy of a strong, confident woman is palpable compared to a shrinking violet. I also think that many times "women of a certain age", i.e., older, by virtue of life experience, are much more confident than younger women.

kristinm

And the warmth of being a woman, added to the strength and confidence can be a great diffuser of situations... even before they happen.. I agree, don't act like a man. Now IM being sexist - sorry!!!!!

capt_mahajan

I travel sometimes to vague places, and often land up in vague places within those vague places.

Two things help. One, situational awareness. Two, look as if you know what you are doing.

PS: We may be renaming this thread yet again

brownboy66

yeah...that is interesting. It would also be interesting to get some opinions on the above - just to see what differences (if any) exist when it comes to views/ perspective of gender roles/ politics etc.

When we had a young, solo female traveller with us recently who expressed some frustration with attitudes back home; primarily from her mother. She travelled solo through Europe, Asia, South America, and now India and while her father was ok - it was her mother that was uncomfortable about the whole exercise. I suspect this is more a generational thing however. Added to that - our young female traveller has lived at a time where, up until about a year ago, all the top positions in our country were held by women (head of state, prime minister, speaker of the house, head of the supreme court, attorney general, and CEO of the largest company).

hehe....I did. And unsurprisingly, when my wife and I announced our engagement friends of the family on her side tried to warn them off the marriage saying that "my kind" (i.e brown people) could not be trusted. We've been married now longer than they were friends - and they aren't friends of her family anymore.

Nick-H

OK. Can't resist it. Here's my latest reading of the thread title:

Blondes; To Die For? And The Women's Where?

Before I get my coat (or get it thrown at me), I'll just remind that, while we talk about whether or not visiting women are at any risk, any Indian woman would tell you that harassment of women in public is a regular problem here,

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Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

Diana

Sounds familiar. Then again, it's moms (like me) who are socially primed to do the "worrying" publicly. Fathers stay silent, stoic, and worry twice as much as the mom's at times...

An excellent point. My!, Don't cultural studies seem to get muddled by the lovely messiness of the real world eh?

And that, as they say, is having he "last laugh" (or the last "hehehe"). Well done in-laws!

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“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” - Rabindranath Tagore

capt_mahajan

Can you add, at the end- "At the kitchen (or hotel) sink?"

Please?

Mehndi Masala

I *HAVE* seen on the news while in India that eve-teasing is a big problem and one girl was actually chased (ran to escape....not 100% clear on that) into traffic and was killed. This was connected to cell phones being used to trace peoples phone number I think near a train station. This has now been stopped. (I think this is a bit innacurate due to the report being in Hindi, but the basics are there, if someone can clear up the details if they remember it, that would be great!)

I think much like crime statistics (id. random murder is very rare, almost all murders the victim knows the assailant, rapes same thing) Most assults are same color and race on same color or race. Robberies are random.

To be harrassed in India seems to be a combination of:
a) being young
b) being Indian
c) being in a very very bad area with a high crime rate
d) really bad luck
c) being dressed inappropriately in a way to draw attention (super low tank top, shorts, or short skirt, belly top, etc)

In conclusion, it appeared to me, (not that I'm an expert) that you must be prepared for stares, be street smart cause bad people are everywhere and in every shade, and enjoy yourself! Chances seem pretty low that the average gal will have any issues whatsoever.

(On a side note, saw a couple of caucasions at the lotus temple in Delhi and he looked normal but she drew BIG stares including from us! even by western standards she looked like she charged $5.00 a night, disease will be free!!! WHY would she go to a temple looking like that?!?!? I was embaressed to be white and actually made sure we were walking FAR FAR away from them...didn't want anyone to think we knew them)

Kim

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Fruit flies like a banana!



http://www.winnipeghenna.com

Nick-H

We may or may not be thinking of the same news item, but there was a girl chased on a scooter here in Chennai maybe a year ago. She was killed in an accident trying to escape. I don't think mobile phones were involved.

Indian women do suffer harassment, and this is not particular dependent on their age, or where they happen to be. All it needs is a crowded bus, for instance.

But this is covering old ground... I think it is pretty extensively discussed in other threads.

capt_mahajan

I think MM is talking about a girl in Delhi recently, who was teased and either pushed or stepped into traffic- I can't remember which- and died after a bus ran over her.


Google Pearl Gupta.

Mehndi Masala

CM-THAT is the one I'm pretty sure, but part of the report was they had also been harrasing her via cell phone. Or maybe it's YET ANOTHER eve-teasing gone bad. The gist was that in a certain place you can SMS the plate and get a phone number of the owner. NOT sure why, but they have since discontinued the service as this was becoming a more 'creative' way for would be romeo's to harrass girls (NOT the intended use, but it started to happen)

Nick - That's what I was trying to say and did it badly I think. It seems that to be Indian lady is harder as your more likely to be harassed. If you are caucasian it seems you get stares, but not so much harrasment UNLESS you are dressed very sexy OR you call touts and beggers eve teasing! LOL

Kim

Nick-H

That's at least two such dreadful similar stories then.

Very sad.