Behaviour of Tourists in India

shabdi · Jul 15th, 2006, 21:02

Thanks for the reply I will definatly be careful on my next visit, but after reading the posts and such and seeing how us foriegners are treated, I feel it would be in best intrest to stay clear of quite a few places when I go again.

- I dont want my girl freind to have a bad taste of India when I bring her for my next trip.
- Is there any books for suggested reading before my next visit during december.

greenchutney · Jul 15th, 2006, 21:14

i as a indian male in bombay am at the mercy of any vengeful women, to be beaten by a mob anytime..all a women has to do is scream and say i touched her inappropriately or eve-teased her...and a mob will beat me to death without even asking me whether i was guilty or not. there are many such places (outside of bombay as well) that i could point where this 'luxury' exists ~ ..yes in india..

now its prolly skewed looking at the number of times this happens, or reactions being dispproportinate to the incident...since i will admit there are any day more eve-teasing incidents than innocent adam-beating (up) incidents....

what i am saying is not condoning eve-teasing by any means. i am just providing another perspective to a complex issue and what happens in contemprorary society

capt_mahajan · Jul 15th, 2006, 21:21

how did a thread titled "behaviour of tourists in india" turn into "behaviour of some indian males towards women?"

greenchutney · Jul 15th, 2006, 21:32

good point...those damn indian males enter everywhere..~

though can we discuss allowable specifications/parameters for blonde and redheaded women visiting india ?

Nick-H · Jul 15th, 2006, 21:35

Actually the original post was focussed on the behaviour of some foreign females towards Indian men...

himadventures · Jul 15th, 2006, 22:57

There is lotof difference bewteen what LAW says and what is done by people who make sure LAW is maintained.

You were lucky that you came out of the scene nicely. You did what you should have done or what I should have done but this is always high game.

If that guy has a group...if that guy is son of some bla bla..these are people who are above LAW in India.

But....you did good. I am sure this will be a memory in his mind..to the day of seeing his grave and many more will be effected sub-conciously.

cdrake · Jul 16th, 2006, 01:45

[quote=sirensongs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdrake

But it IS the fault of you foreigners in india with your behaveour and dress and fatal attraction....and Oh ..and...promise of no strings attached sex(which the poor guy has probably not got from indian wife for a while)..
but actually ,sirensongs, people should look at it like this. Foreign tourists visiting india and running into married indian men is something like a hardcore city chick from the US of visiting a small town in idaho or wyoming...or something,and causing havoc (intentionally or not) QUOTE]

Chandra, you are kidding, right?

If the locals have problems with their marriages, those problems are their own...not to be foisted onto or blamed on visitors.

I always discourage foreign women from making casual conversation with local men for this reason. But if the mere presence of a single woman "causes havoc," she cannot be blamed for the reaction of the troubled men who choose to regard her as some kind of weird fantasy object. The problem is theirs, not hers.

Only half joking caro mio,

the amount of "power" men have in India(specially indian men, over sply foreign womeen ) has been vastly exaggerated not only in this thread but also in life in general.

women in india not only CAN hit back, but often DO, and that disproportionately to the poor guy's advances.

I'm not trying to mischarecterize an morally improper advance as a fun thing,only trying to contextualize it to the fact that not only DO girls(single morried or othervice) often keep options open, but also that a. they have every right to (why should they say resolute NOs to cute married men in India?) b. when they do and a guy responds, anything from fear to mischief can attract the kind of retaliation all these chics above seem to write about. So If I were a "cute" male(married or not) in india trying to get laid, I would be more scared than ...uh....excited when i see a single woman..maybe that kind of fear is the source of all this fetishizing and fantasy.

I don't think locals take out their marital issues on foreign women...only on ALL available woman(and they feel, rightly or wrongly that visiting single tourists , some of whom are foreign, are available, like that..which is probably true, but maybe not to them...like that...)...but thats just classic repression.

Also, you'll notice I'm not discussing law and order problems here. (eve teasing, drunk and disorderly conduct, date rape, sexual harrasment by people in positions of power...etc) I'm talking about what respective groups of people(foreign women tourists, Indian men ...etc) bring to a table as expectations/ needs. If the friction in civil society went, I think the "other" problems and paranoia will vanish, because people will be able to see clearly what is crime and what is merely social klutziness.

rahulcal · Mar 5th, 2007, 20:35

Would second that opinion.

a. Groping /Eve teasing or worse happens to vulnerable or [percieved to be ) vulnerable women - trust me it does not have anything to do with the color of the skin.

If a guy is the type who would do something like , he will do it to anyone regardless of their caste , skin color or anything else. Its all about what he thinks he can get away with . The Tourist by definition may appear to be more vulnerable than local women.

b. What I am surprised about is that no one here seems to have raised a hue and cry even when they were assaulted in the broad daylight .Indian women- especially in the metros very often do and almost every time get enough support from people around them .

c. Lastly, these incidents do happen here and I am sure they happen elsewhere also - but am not very sure if it is a sign of an open mind to generalise .

Thanks ,

MSchalk · Feb 7th, 2009, 10:15

I'm staying in India right now, travelling for two months through South India, and just want to add my two pence of thought:

In general, the western tourists in Kerala seemed better-behaved, more interested and more respectful to the locals. In Hampi, a large hippie community, but apart from their funny clothing, in general a peaceful lot (never been to Goa though). The worst experience so far - as an observer - was in Tamil Nadu, especially Mahaballipuram, and Pondicherry. A lot of older foreigners living on "an Indian budget" for months, more or less hibernating here, not really interested in the country or the culture but happy to boss around a waiter, staff member or driver once in a while. They stay here merely because it is cheap and for no other reason.

Example: I'm sitting in an Internet Cafe in Mahaballipuram, an old French guy (maybe 60) comes in and wants to use the Internet. I suggest he asks the hotel manager, he goes after him and instantly, before the manager is even able to show him a working computer, shouts and curses at him uninterrupted like a prostitute in a bad mood. I felt so embarrassed I told him to shut up and apologized to the hotel manager.

capt_mahajan · Feb 7th, 2009, 10:42

My worst experience with the very few foreign tourists that I meet was in Hampi- which doesn't say anything at all, really.

People are the same everywhere. Some pleasant, some not so. Indian tourists can be as rude as any foreigner.

I have been embarrassed sometimes by Indian behaviour abroad. Have to remind myself that I am not their keeper.

Brisso · Feb 8th, 2009, 05:09

My comments are sure to sir things up here. There is something about sexuality of many Indian males I have never understood.

Maybe a function of strict families and repression I don't know. However (here we go) I have been to a number of countries over the years, but have never seen anywhere else the appalling mindset by some young men that blatant sexual harassment is acceptable.

More than once when walking with a woman who was obviously my partner, she had her breasts groped by passing groups of young men. Or insisting on a photo and attempting to put their hands down her skirt.

Another time we were surrounded by young men acting like a bunch of hyenas and making opportunistic darts at her. When I went off, they were amused that I was upset. There is also the leering behaviour and offensive comments in the tourist areas - "hey baby, let's f@ck etc".

Now, perhaps I will get the PC barrage, "ÿou can't make broad comments" etc, etc. I'm not doing that, but my experiences are nonetheless real. One day I'm going to hurt someone, or conversely be hurt, because my tolerance of this sort of thing is wearing very thin.

PeakXV · Feb 8th, 2009, 06:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brisso

More than once when walking with a woman who was obviously my partner, she had her breasts groped by passing groups of young men. Or insisting on a photo and attempting to put their hands down her skirt.

This reads that she got groped by more than one group per outing.

Geesuz Brisso give 'em a chop on the neck, take out one of their knees or give 'em a reminder they won't soon forget next time.

They're only scrawny teens afterall - aren't they?

Look, I'm sure eve-teasing happens but it's usually a certain age demographic in certain crowded locales. Easy to neutralize and/or avoid one would think.

dukkha · Feb 8th, 2009, 09:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick-H

Most English girls that want to behave like this would be paying much less air fare and arriving at a Meditteranean resort.

NOW you tell me...

skk · Feb 8th, 2009, 09:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brisso

...
More than once when walking with a woman who was obviously my partner, she had her breasts groped by passing groups of young men. Or insisting on a photo and attempting to put their hands down her skirt.

Another time we were surrounded by young men acting like a bunch of hyenas and making opportunistic darts at her. When I went off, they were amused that I was upset. There is also the leering behaviour and offensive comments in the tourist areas - "hey baby, let's f@ck etc".
...

Names, Places, Dates please - Nahhh, not so I know where I can go where I can behave like them; most "eve-teasing" in public places that सुशुस्कित people go to is usually pretty furtive - still an abomination of course and worth fighting hard and fighting back about.

Still, in the meantime, where ?

-skk

capt_mahajan · Feb 8th, 2009, 10:23

For whatever it is worth, I agree with Brisso's post, and especially with his last line, except that my patience ran out a long time ago.

Mar 5th, 2007, 20:35	#68
rahulcal The Twice born one Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Mumbai India Posts: 112	Would second that opinion. a. Groping /Eve teasing or worse happens to vulnerable or [percieved to be ) vulnerable women - trust me it does not have anything to do with the color of the skin. If a guy is the type who would do something like , he will do it to anyone regardless of their caste , skin color or anything else. Its all about what he thinks he can get away with . The Tourist by definition may appear to be more vulnerable than local women. b. What I am surprised about is that no one here seems to have raised a hue and cry even when they were assaulted in the broad daylight .Indian women- especially in the metros very often do and almost every time get enough support from people around them . c. Lastly, these incidents do happen here and I am sure they happen elsewhere also - but am not very sure if it is a sign of an open mind to generalise . Thanks , Last edited by rahulcal : Mar 30th, 2007 at 14:02.

Feb 7th, 2009, 10:15	#69
MSchalk Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Germany Posts: 30	Impressions of a First-Timer I'm staying in India right now, travelling for two months through South India, and just want to add my two pence of thought: In general, the western tourists in Kerala seemed better-behaved, more interested and more respectful to the locals. In Hampi, a large hippie community, but apart from their funny clothing, in general a peaceful lot (never been to Goa though). The worst experience so far - as an observer - was in Tamil Nadu, especially Mahaballipuram, and Pondicherry. A lot of older foreigners living on "an Indian budget" for months, more or less hibernating here, not really interested in the country or the culture but happy to boss around a waiter, staff member or driver once in a while. They stay here merely because it is cheap and for no other reason. Example: I'm sitting in an Internet Cafe in Mahaballipuram, an old French guy (maybe 60) comes in and wants to use the Internet. I suggest he asks the hotel manager, he goes after him and instantly, before the manager is even able to show him a working computer, shouts and curses at him uninterrupted like a prostitute in a bad mood. I felt so embarrassed I told him to shut up and apologized to the hotel manager.

Feb 7th, 2009, 10:42	#70
capt_mahajan Infidel Sufi Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: styx Posts: 13,605	My worst experience with the very few foreign tourists that I meet was in Hampi- which doesn't say anything at all, really. People are the same everywhere. Some pleasant, some not so. Indian tourists can be as rude as any foreigner. I have been embarrassed sometimes by Indian behaviour abroad. Have to remind myself that I am not their keeper. __________________ . Outside the machine

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Jul 15th, 2006, 21:02	#61
shabdi Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Edmonton Alberta Canada Posts: 5	Thanks for the reply I will definatly be careful on my next visit, but after reading the posts and such and seeing how us foriegners are treated, I feel it would be in best intrest to stay clear of quite a few places when I go again. - I dont want my girl freind to have a bad taste of India when I bring her for my next trip. - Is there any books for suggested reading before my next visit during december.

Jul 15th, 2006, 21:14	#62
greenchutney Account Closed Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: planet earth Posts: 1,578	i as a indian male in bombay am at the mercy of any vengeful women, to be beaten by a mob anytime..all a women has to do is scream and say i touched her inappropriately or eve-teased her...and a mob will beat me to death without even asking me whether i was guilty or not. there are many such places (outside of bombay as well) that i could point where this 'luxury' exists ~ ..yes in india.. now its prolly skewed looking at the number of times this happens, or reactions being dispproportinate to the incident...since i will admit there are any day more eve-teasing incidents than innocent adam-beating (up) incidents.... what i am saying is not condoning eve-teasing by any means. i am just providing another perspective to a complex issue and what happens in contemprorary society

Jul 15th, 2006, 21:21	#63
capt_mahajan Infidel Sufi Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: styx Posts: 13,605	how did a thread titled "behaviour of tourists in india" turn into "behaviour of some indian males towards women?"

Jul 15th, 2006, 21:32	#64
greenchutney Account Closed Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: planet earth Posts: 1,578	good point...those damn indian males enter everywhere..~ though can we discuss allowable specifications/parameters for blonde and redheaded women visiting india ?

Jul 15th, 2006, 21:35	#65
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,194	Actually the original post was focussed on the behaviour of some foreign females towards Indian men...

Jul 15th, 2006, 22:57	#66
himadventures Maha Guru Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: India Posts: 1,069	There is lotof difference bewteen what LAW says and what is done by people who make sure LAW is maintained. You were lucky that you came out of the scene nicely. You did what you should have done or what I should have done but this is always high game. If that guy has a group...if that guy is son of some bla bla..these are people who are above LAW in India. But....you did good. I am sure this will be a memory in his mind..to the day of seeing his grave and many more will be effected sub-conciously.

Feb 8th, 2009, 05:09	#71
Brisso Specialist muddler Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Brisbane Posts: 1,084	My comments are sure to sir things up here. There is something about sexuality of many Indian males I have never understood. Maybe a function of strict families and repression I don't know. However (here we go) I have been to a number of countries over the years, but have never seen anywhere else the appalling mindset by some young men that blatant sexual harassment is acceptable. More than once when walking with a woman who was obviously my partner, she had her breasts groped by passing groups of young men. Or insisting on a photo and attempting to put their hands down her skirt. Another time we were surrounded by young men acting like a bunch of hyenas and making opportunistic darts at her. When I went off, they were amused that I was upset. There is also the leering behaviour and offensive comments in the tourist areas - "hey baby, let's f@ck etc". Now, perhaps I will get the PC barrage, "ÿou can't make broad comments" etc, etc. I'm not doing that, but my experiences are nonetheless real. One day I'm going to hurt someone, or conversely be hurt, because my tolerance of this sort of thing is wearing very thin.

Feb 8th, 2009, 10:23	#75
capt_mahajan Infidel Sufi Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: styx Posts: 13,605	For whatever it is worth, I agree with Brisso's post, and especially with his last line, except that my patience ran out a long time ago.