Why are expat Indians so frustrated with India?

soulfood

I couldn't help but notice that the most caustic comments on this site come from expat Indians, usually those in States! Has anyone else noticed this as well?

The irony!

I know that this trend isn't limited to this forum and is generally somewhat true of NRIs everywhere. They are the ones that see no hope in the country, everything is wrong with India, there's no infrastructure, corruption is rampant everywhere and you can't get anything done. The usual stories, you know. India, is basically gong to the dogs. (This is reflected in the rate of investments India receives from NRIs compared to investments by expat Chinese in China, for example. But this is a tangent and some would say it's the Indian Govt that's responsible for this.)

Interestingly, there's a contrast of this as well (but I don't know whether it is in equal measure or not). Indians abroad are also amongst the most patriotic anywhere. They suddenly get aware of their rich cultural traditions and heritage. And they turn religious as well after going to America!

So what are your experiences? How have your conversations with NRIs gone in the past?

SHIMLA

Indians in India are brought up on history - their country's great civilisation, culture, tradition, blah, blah ... Indians like to live in the past and take recourse to history whenever possible. Its only when they step out of of their country and spend time in a developed nation that they realise that where it matters, their country is really lagging behind.

As for NRIs becoming suddenly patriotic and remembering their culture, etc., its sheer hypocrisy on their part !

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mira4bai4

I have found it interesting when travelling in India and begin talking to others that just happen to be NRI's visiting with their very English or American accents. When I have said that I am wishing to live there, they reply with, "how could you, this place is so dirty and smells, I could never like here."

My wife works in a hospital where there are always a good range of foreign doctors and recently a flow of Indians who would work anywhere except India, a couple that have had to go back for family reasons have looked like there are going back to a prison sentence.

scinsr

Let me give you my example why I think Indian Expats get frustrated. My parents left India in the 50s (in fact my mum left earlier and came back to India to get married), move to Kenya and lived in a completely Indian community there, the became nostalgic with their past, kept the fond memories and forgot about the hardships. The got suck in the past and India moved on cuturally, politically and economically. My parents always intented to go back to India. In the early 70s they decided to go back, buy some land and settle. We lasted 2 months ( I was 7 years old then). My parents just did not fit in anymore, they expected India from the past. We had to leave Africa (the political climate pushed us out), and we moved to England. As I was growing up I visited India a number of times to visit relatives and travel, but my dad only visited once. The disappointment from his visit in the 70s was too much. I'm not sure what I'll find when I go to India, even though I was not born their, I still see it as my spiritual home. It will be interesting....the last time I was in India was 17 years ago! I am hoping I don't have the same disappointment as my dad.
I can understand how some NRIs get frustrated, like me they want to go back and experience the mother country, they hear romantic stories from parents and the Indian community around them, only to find our that they are more western than Indian.
I certainly don't agree with the statement "NRIs suddenly becoming patriotic and remembering their culture etc " Like my dad many NRIs are still passionate India, follow it's politics, still want the best for it, keep up the traditions, language and culture world-wide, it is very amazing to see kids who's parents were never born in India, they themselves have never visited, but still maintain tradition culture, language and a Patriotic attitude for India. You go to a England Vs India cricket match in England, you will find young Indians waving the Indian Flag not the English flag.

traceyam

I see this mostly in the first-generation desis. They're almost repulsed by anything Indian and want to distance themselves from it as much as possible. They're amazed I watch Bwood movies, cook Indian food, and take classes in Hindi.

I feel like I should say something witty with regard to "Swades" here, but I can't really think of anything so I'm just going to go back to eating my vegetable korma.

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soulfood

Thanks for sharing your story Scinsr. You haven't mentioned what constituted your parents' disappointment when they moved to India. What did they expect and what did they find?

Tracey, that makes sense, doesn it? Second and third generation Indians in US have never experienced the "hardships of India" that Scinsr refers to so have no reason to be frustrated.

scinsr

The frustration was in a number of ways, the corruption upset him, he was trying to buy land and build and couldn't without bribes. He started to feel he couldn't trust anyone and felt disconnected from his friends and relatives. He as expecting to see improvements in his village, but it was the same as he had left it back in the 50s.

soulfood

Oh, I understand that better now. Thanks.

renedu

It is not so uncommon. Look at most countries where you have multiple generations fo people immigrating. I am a returned son of Italian immigrants who came to the US during WW2. Many of the comments made about the NRI's are applicable to my case as well.

minime

Okay, since I can can possibly guess what has inspired this thread, here is my two cents worth.

The subject of this post suggests that expat Indians are frustrated with India - by inference it also appears to suggest that Indians living in India are not (frustrated).

I was born in a small town in India and still go back there more than once a year on average. I will suggest that the "experiencing India" tribe should visit the areas outside of the big cities and the "tourist trails" (yes thats what even small villages and rural hamlets in Rajasthan, Goa are) and talk to real middle class people - you will know where the frustration comes from.

Judging India by looking at the big cities and their new-found glitzy western prosperity will be the same monumental blunder as "India shining" - if you do that then you will make the same mistake as many journalists did in predicting a particular outcome in the last elections.

Now, protesting against unfair treatment of a person (simply because he is of Indian origin) is not exactly being frustrated with India. Companies have no hesitation in offering an Indian coming from a global work environment to work in India, a much inferior expat package compared to what they would offer a westerner. I think a key difference between India and China is that in India, it is truly "free market" (free for labour and competitive remuneration adjustment) - and therefore it will be difficult to get people with real knowledge and capability to work for peanuts for too long.

Indians are frustrated with India, yes. They are far more frustrated with efforts to get them to trade Kohinoor for the price of coal.

minime

Let me start with a few questions to OP (soulfood):

Why do parents get frustrated with errant children? (when others find them to be adorable)

Why does an Indian teacher ruthlessly critique the simplest mistakes of the best student in the class?

Why are married partners more critical of each other than lovers or people living together?

Because, you criticise something or someone that you have a keen interest in, you are committed to or feel one with.

Expatriate Indians or non-resident Indians CAN see how people at home are deprived of what will be considered basic necessities of life - and not talking about multiplexes , shopping malls or pubs - we are talking about education, healthcare, two meals per day. They can also see how cleverly attention of people is diverted from these basic issues by raising nationalistic (read zingoistic) or religious issues.

People living outside their own country have to many times answer for what is happening back home. When international newspaper headlines scream "Last week a nation went back 50 years" (after communal riots in an area close to Mumbai and Rajasthan) - its these people who have to try and explain and defend the indefensible.

When people come up and ask questions about attitude towards female child or caste issues in India - its again these same expatriate Indians who struggle to come up with answers.

Majority of expatriate Indians do not dream of settling down somewhere else -they want to come back to their own country. What do they find, if they do? They are treated as walking moneybags by all sorts of people - specially the ones from the bureaucracy.

Its easy to be romantic about a place if one does not have a stake in the ground. When you know that you can always go back to your home country if it gets too much or if things seriously go wrong, then its easy to be philosophical. Its easy to admire the pranks of a teenager from the sidelines if one does not have to be responsible for the consequences.

To criticise, you have to be deeply in love and above all, be COMMITTED.

phantom

Oh !! so you are very committed guy.. and you also visit your 'village' every year.. how sweet
Since you are so committed and are a KOHINOOR .. in your own words.. you must have done a lot for your village. .. i guess everybody in ur village must be proud of you.. for opening up a school and hospital there.. and all your charitable work done over the period of time.. I can see that happening
Yes ppl are frustrated in india.. but they have not lost hope.. except some ESCAPISTS.... Yes there are problems in india .. but ppl think of how to remove them.. and are doing their bit, they don't run away to some developed country. Do you think UK OR US are like that developed from the beginning of time.. every nation has its cycles of ups and downs. We were up then we went down and now we are coming up again. But YOU probably won't understand.. the only thing that you know is negative criticism.. !! If you are that concerned abt India.. why not open a school here or an orphanage .. I am sure with your kinda developed world "SALARY" you can afford that..... and then we'll talk abt the problems of india. But till that time jes concentrate on your work.. and ..keep your head bowed with shame.
BTW, WELCOME to india

minime

I was replying to the question posed by the original poster, not claiming to be more attached or committed to India than people who live there. The intention was to compare expatriate Indians with tourists or people who come to work in India for a brief stint.

Btw, in a global economy, people from every country work all over the globe - they are not all "escapists". People working in transnational companies get transferred to where their skills are needed.

I admire the passion and can see where the frustration / sarcasm comes from (reminds one of a story from Aesop's Fables concerning a fox / jackal and grapes) - but committed young people will do better to channel the energy to change things rather than make personal attacks on people they do not agree with.

phantom

Exactly what I wanted to say .... ... Instead of whining and whimpering abt shortcomings of India, try to do something to improve it. Otherwise.. jes politely ask your question and leave.

bodhisattva2001in

We Indians are having a basic common problem- which is very difficult to come over: "Do worng and live with illigaity and put the blame on others. Say something and do the exact opposite. Talk big and do nothing. Talk about the great history, culture, civilisation and become biggest law breaker when things come on us. Give big speaches and be most corrupted saying what can I do - evrybody is doing it".

We must stop talking about others, pointing fingures on others and start everything from our own home.

3 things must be stopped: 1) licking on the road, 2) Cleaning your own house and throwing the garbage on the road, 3) throwing plastic bags and etc here and there.

One example: Thousands of pilgrims are going to Ganga. Worshiping Ganga. Taking holy deep and then- throwing the flowers etc putting in the plastic bags.

Eveery Indian must try to change his or her own habits and correct him/ herself rather than to talk non-sense and waste time.