Relationship advice

One of my favorite Dolly phrases at a concert at the Royal Albert in London: "you maybe wondering how do I manage to spend so much money to look this cheap at the end". Great guitar player I always wonder how in hell she manages to do it with those like-dragon nails...

It's probably good that most of the music I listen to has lyrics in languages I don't understand, as I can not help analyzing some of the attitudes and meanings. Still, better to be aware of the brainwashing...

??? Songs are transmitting secret messages to you ?

Of course! And the best way to be secret is to be completely open.

On a funny note... one of my (ex)bf's job mates made a completely serious marriage proposal to me a couple of days ago...he is doing a watercolour portrait of me and keeps on insisting. My bf went completely mad when i told him...he says he cant leave me just like this with these things around....

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Ask your ex-bf if he would be interested in becoming the best man in case you make a decision. ..... ..... .....

Is this Plan B ? Where did you meet this one ?

Hmm, i agree.
The optimistic, romantic in me believes that love shall prevail.
But yes , one has to come to senses, and do whats needed and be logical.
Its high time the guy " Mans-Up" and puts his foot down and takes a decision, if he doesnt there is no point in Virgi staking her future.

Dear Virgi,

I admire your courage, maybe its the spanish blood ( Which i know now very well ) do what you think is best for you.
We all move one, letting go is the difficult part. so dont carry your pains for long travel lite but after your patience has ended only

I think that was Khalil Gibran....! nice one.

Here is one for all those who have loved.

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ― Khalil Gibran

Well, there you go! Sorted!

But the serious point in this is that what you do, and who you do it with, is now nothing whatsoever to do with Mr Ex, and if he doesn't like that ...well, he knows what he can do with it.

In my newspaper last week: come wedding day, a girl refused, saying that she loved someone else. Never mind, said her family to the groom, take her sister. It seems that such arrangement is not uncommon, I've heard of this before. One slight problem: the younger sister was ...12.

Some civic-minded neighbours called the police, and people got arrested. Thing is, these stories only ever hit the newspapers once, and nobody ever gets to hear what happens after the original fuss dies away

RWeHavingFunYet : lol he would be so happy to accept.. lol

Nycank: well I met him on the same ship I met my bf. We were in Mumbai and went out at night with some other butlers and my sister. And this guy was there too. I think HE wants to be my plan B as he doesn’t understand that its not the right time to ask me this… But I think even if I was open to a relationship now, I wouldn’t go out with him..

Nomad_traveller: I understand, same happens to me. Its being hard to accept that our love wasn’t enough to get things right now Also I wonder how could he do that.. But my biggest problem is I still have hope and I don’t really know why…


Nick-H: well, ppl say God doesn’t close a door without opening a window… lol I just rather wish it was some other window lol. About him.. obviously it has nothing to do with it.. there were other reasons for me to tell him Though it’s hard to assume nothing mine is of his business now

Still I’m amazed of how sure he is he will like me..lol

Having seen a number of such instances in my life. I feel I should put a few things in perspective. In India, especially in the south, the mother has a very strong emotional hold over the children. If the parents have an abusive relationship, the son has undoubtedly been scarred & will be very much attached to his mother. In most such cases, the mother will be hoping that the son will get her out of this abusive relationship with her husband. If such a son gets involved with an outsider / foreigner, the mother gets extremely possesive, as she fears that the scheming daugter -in- law will snatch her precious son (the Golden Goose laying the Golden Eggs), discard her & disappear from her life.
To ensure her hold over her son , she will take recourse to blackmail tactics, attempt suicide, ostracise him, etc. The son is torn between his love for you & the emotional bond with his parents. Possibly they have made great sacrifices to ensure that he reaches a good position in life. Also if the son disappears, there is going to be an adverse financial impact. The parents must have been depending on the son to improve the quality of their lives.
Your marriage can succeed only if you stay outside India & your BF has some backbone to stand up to his parents. Dont even think of relocating to India when your BF is sailing. Grief & blackmail will follow you through life. Your BF will be the butt of barbs & insults for the rest of his life.If he is emotionally strong enough,go ahead. To sum up, the only option for you is to dump this Mama's boy.
Regards
Cavalier

Too bloody right! . ...If, as you say, the young guy has the backbone to do it.

100% rit... maybe that's why this lady wants a maid instead of a daught in law.
One thing to say is he wouldnt go back onboard if he was staying with me... he has decided to go to earn the money, but if we got married, he would find a land job.

Still... i can only wish he gets that backbone, but i can understand that he feels he has no choice... what i cant understand is a mother that does that....

That is actually a common and regular arrangement here. daughter-in-law moves in with the family and works. Abuse is an on optional extra, but not unusual.

Mind you, not all daughters-in-law are actually unhappy with that arrangement.

I know... but i guess usually the son has something to say in the election, and stays home too... as far as i know, and even my bf's sister, most of them have some freedom, and so... i can imagine being a housewife and be happy with that, my mom was and even me i'd like to stay at home some time if i have children. :-) i also think this lady probably wont be as hard with her as it seems now... all was a way of getting rid of me...