Oh why is leaving this hard?

kohinoor

I'm going away for many months.
This week has been all about packing.
And saying bye bye to all friends and family and relatives. - I'm gonna miss them all.
Why does leaving have to be this hard and heartbreaking?
How to handle this, where's the joy?

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john.sw

Friends and family are only a phone call away... they can visit you in India... India is only a few hours away from home - not a different planet... you are not harming your relationships - you are strengthening them... you will make new friends and "family" and also keep your friends and family at home...

Don't worry - India will open your eyes, and your broken heart will be healed the moment you get off the 'plane.

That's when the joy starts.

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Karma Queen

poor thing! at least we live in an age of phone boxes on every corner and email

you'll be writing exactly the same thing when it comes to you leaving india, i can assure you!

good luck!

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torryquine

The build up to a big trip is always stressful and the people you leave behind can unintentionally make it more difficult. When I went away for a year in the 80s I left behind a wonderful boyfriend and and a whole raft of possibilities, then my parents cried at the airport - boy did I feel guilty. When I got on the plane I felt like I was leaving everything I knew behind.

Just keep reminding yourself (as I did) that this is what you really want to do and that the people who love you understand. You are entering a new phase of your life and separation is a necessary part of that. Within a few days you will be meeting many new people and your life will be packed with exciting experiences, you will scarcely miss home. Things are much easier now with internet cafes and cheap phone connections, like John says, you're not going to another planet, the world is a much smaller place.

Have a great trip and keep in touch.

bear

I am going through the same thing. I have said goodbye to so many people over the past few days and I still have a few days before I leave. I am looking forward to my journey though and have promised my friends and family frequent emails. I figure that even though they won't be physically close, we can remain close and stay active in one another's lives. Plus, there are always the reunions to look forward to. Think of the stories that will have to tell.

kohinoor

Thank you for your words!

cfhi

arrr, that jus stirs up my memories when i left home and came over to India. Yah it's hard to say goodby to family and friends , but hey i also make some great friends here too~~ and believe will make more great friends here , so i believe when i leave India, will be the same again as Leaving home, once again the cycle repeats~~ heh heh

robotvoice

my heart goes out to you, or all who deal with the pain of leaving behind loved ones. in two days i leave and it is so sad and difficult leaving my friends and family.
the hardest part leaving behind a "significant other"

mercedes10

I'm in exactly the same situation! I leave in 2 weeks and have so much to do and so many people to see that I'm just stressed rather than excited. It doesn't even feel real. I sold my house and still have so much packing of my belongings to do before I even think about packing for my trip. I'm beginning to wish I'd booked my flight a bit later in the year - but chances are I'd still have left everything to the last minute. The words of encouragement on here are really helpful. I always wanted to do the travel thing and yet now that I'm finally about to do it I find myself questioning why I'm going and whether it's what I want. I guess this fear and doubt is probably quite normal. I too am leaving behind a 'significant other' and lots of friends & family. Leaving my boyfriend of over a year still feels like the hardest bit but I have to remind myself that it's the right thing to do because I know we would never ultimately go the distance so it makes more sense to call it quits now. (easier said than done though). Eek! Good luck Kohinoor - you are certainly not alone!!

Nick-H

I got fed up with the word Goodbye over the past week or so.

It felt so good, as the plane flew over the coast of India, to say Hello!

happytraveler

Leaving is so hard. I identify so strongly with several of the posts here as I am leaving in March, leaving a wonderful significant other, great job, friends & family... my parents cried when I told them and it was absolutely heartbreaking. But I have to have faith that my decision is right for me... I feel that it may even deepen my relationships here in different and unexpected ways. And, I know if I don't go.... I will never be much good to anyone!

Good luck

Nick-H

Can it really be so bad? And, if so, why do it?

There were some tears for me, leaving my house of 15 years, leaving the area I know and feel at home in (even while staying in N. London for a few weeks I still went back 'home' to the East to shop etc) and leaving the soft, green parks and spaces near my old home. There was lots of stress and hard work in selling, packing and moving, and there was a feeling of being unplugged in those three weeks post-house-sale and pre-flight.

But, despite the odd doubt, I did what I have done because I really wanted to, and here I am.

wonderwomanusa

It's difficult because you are "going into the unknown" and really haven't a clue what to expect.

Go out and rent the film "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and watch for the scene where they jump off a cliff, yelling "oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!" That's what you're going through!

Don't worry! You'll land in India and have the time of your life.

Now, go take everything out of your pack, discard half of it, and re-pack.

Nick-H

Now check the entire contents of your house, and for each item ask 'might I need this?'. If so, pack it.

Now reread Wonderwoman's advice, but this time remove 98%

lonelyaztec

Nick,
Welcome back to India and Chennai.

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